Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

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Uncle Pervy
 

Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Thu Nov 07, 2002 1:15 pm

(OOC: I'm on an Inspiration High, and wanna use it while I can. Thus, I give you the creation of Enlil.)



What am I?

That thought repeats through my being, what am I? But, what is my being? What is thought? My? What does my mean?

I feel... something? That feeling fascinates me. What is it? How is it? It feels... good? What is good? What does it all mean?

Then I percieve. It shines before me, something bright. Looking at it, I become aware that it is not part of me. Something exists outside of me, how curious. But what am I?

As I look into that light, I feel warmth. It wells within my being, feeling so strangely in place. I understand what it is, but I know not how. It is that light that gives me this feeling. I don't want it to stop, it feels so good.

As that warmth courses through my being, I begin to see. It all begins to make sense. Thought, the voice of my mind and my soul. Being, my existence here. That light is seperate from me, and I from it.

I become aware of the world around me. There are others like me. Others with thoughts, with souls. It is comforting, for I am not alone. Yet in another way, I am alone. For I feel that I am different. I can feel their souls, and my own. I am not like any other. But why?

I can feel the others discontent; I feel that they conflict. I see that they wear many guises; Human, Dragon, Elf, Goblin, Demon, Sidhe, Lepton, God, Celestial; so many different names whirl within my mind! Yet I understand them all

I learn that they fight. They harvest each other's souls. As I learn why, I feel sadness within myself. Some fight over homelands. Others fight to oppress. Some fight for pride, some for hatred.

It does not make sense. Why do they slay each other? They did not create each other, how can they slay each other? How is it they can justify this? Is a thing worth it? A place? A name?

What is my name?

The warmth within my being grows stronger, more comforting. I begin to see even more that tradegy of this fighting, this cycle of bloodshed. No one death can end it; strife results from those who felt close to the murdered. Strife begets hate, and hate more strife. Why can they not see it?

The warmth stays with me, I feel it telling me not to worry. Yet I learn the greatest tradegy. Each soul lost, loses it's chance to attain more. Each soul cut down before it's time cannot learn what I have. They are lost, unable to gain... enlightment. They cannot learn from their mistakes, they cannot end the strife they started...

Sadness overwhelms my being. I want to weep for them. I do weep for them. I feel so helpless! Why can't it stop? Why does this hate exist? Why do others feel it so?

Still the warm is with me, it caresses my being, and my sadness washes away. I am not alone. It too feels as I do.

It need not be that way, it tells me. We can end it, you and I. We can show them the errors of their ways, and show them the way of peace.

What are you?

I made you, It answers.

What am I?

As I watch the light before me, it resolves into a small, the shape of a human. But I sense more. He is not merely human. I sense power running through his being, the power to make worlds, to forge souls. That power is the warmth I felt, that power with his will.

Standing over me, he looks down with benevolence in his eyes, and reaches down. I become aware of the world around me, of a grassy plain and a cloudless sky. Its name is Heimdall, I realize; this place is called Heimdall.

"You are my Herald," says the man, "I made you to announce my coming. Soon, my Herald, I shall set existence as it should be. I shall end the cycle of hatred and violence that caused you despair. I wish you to help me."

I become aware of my own self. I too look human, but I am different than him. Two wings extend from my back, I am clothed in robes of white.

"You are an angel," he says, as though sensing my thoughts. "I created you, so that you could aid me in the coming era. When it is time for me to ascend, you shall herald it."

"I shall," I answer, using my voice for the first time. I become aware of its power as I do. I am to be my creator's Herald. My voice, my songs shall announce his coming. This is what I am, why I am. I am my Creator's Herald.

"I shall," I repeat.

"Then accept the name of Enlil, my Herald," he says. "It is your name now. It is my gift to my creation, to my Herald. Together, Enlil, you and I shall end the hate. We shall bring a new era of peace to existence."

"Yes, my creator," I answer.

I am Lord Aliester," says my Creator.

I no longer fear. I no longer despair for the other souls. My Creator shall end it. I know it. I can feel it with every fiber of my being!

Enlil. I am Enlil. I am the Herald. I shall announce my Creator's coming, Lord Aliester's coming. My songs shall begin the end of the death of souls. None shall be denied their enlightment by anyone, save themselves.

I smile, as I accept his hand.












Image <p>Image Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits. That's th' life fer me. Image</p>Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=pdrydia>pd]&nbsp; Image at: 6/10/05 17:27

Nekogami
 
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Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby Nekogami » Thu Nov 07, 2002 5:46 pm

A creative way to address the creation of a holy angel. A few grammatical errors but it's not like we're publishing this stuff right.

I personally get the feeling that Enlil is more knowledgeable than a newborn but still she has newborn like qualities. Curiousity, slow, awareness, safety sourced from a maternal/paternal figure. One can't help but to wonder when she'll "grow up" and if she does what will be the fall out. <p>

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OMG PRIAM: ninja sex would be neither felt nor seen by either partner
OMG PRIAM: each would just suddenly need a smoke</p>

Uncle Pervy
 

Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Thu Nov 07, 2002 6:28 pm

Heh heh.

Well, it has already happened before Enlil had come to Gaera, so to some extent youknow the results from that RP ^_^ <p>Image Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits. That's th' life fer me. Image</p>

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Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby Nekogami » Fri Nov 08, 2002 11:06 am

....Please tell me she's not from Earth and/or a Christian. <.< <p>

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OMG PRIAM: each would just suddenly need a smoke</p>

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Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby Banjooie » Fri Nov 08, 2002 11:58 am

Nifty. o.o


Uncle Pervy
 

Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Fri Nov 08, 2002 12:15 pm

Earth: Yes, but that's not extremely important.

Christian: No. <p>Image Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits. That's th' life fer me. Image</p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=unclepervy@rpgww60462>Uncle]&nbsp; Image at: 11/8/02 11:31:58 am

viator22
 

Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby viator22 » Sat Nov 09, 2002 10:43 am

Very good *claps*

This actually scares me slightly cause when an god says they're going to "end the hate" they usually plan to blow us all up or something.

Oh well <p>-------
Why, I ask myself, shouldn't the shining dots in the sky be as accesible as the black dots on the map of France? - Vincent Van Gogh</p>

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Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby BrainWalker » Wed Nov 13, 2002 12:10 am

This actually makes more sense to me than it probably will to... uhh... well, anyone else, really Image

Having said that... WOAH. Very well done, man. Kinda spooky, even. Hat's off! <p><div style="text-align:center">Image</div></p>

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Endadelta
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Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby Endadelta » Mon Nov 18, 2002 12:56 am

Hmmm.

Looking at this, I would have to say it works with Enlil very well. >_> Shows an expanding intellect with each passing moment, too, which is similar to the rate of development in some infants.

Yay. :D This has almost inspired me to do something in a similar narrative stance, for Astrynax.

Good, good. <p>

Image <span style="color:red;font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Son Gohan wants you to visit the</span> DB(Z) Manga Shrine!</p>

SALSAlys
 

Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby SALSAlys » Tue Nov 19, 2002 10:21 am

*huggles* Go Unkie!


Uncle Pervy
 

Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Tue Nov 19, 2002 12:36 pm

I am not certain how much time has passed since Lord Aliester created me. He has taught me about a vague concept of minutes and hours, but they do not make a great deal of sense to me. It matters not, really.

Lord Aliester has left me for now, to attend to his coming Ascension. But I an not lonely, for I feel his presence. Now, I roam the world he has created, enjoying the beauty he has created.

This world is named Heimdal. It is a world of beautiful plains, sparkling rivers, glittering deserts; every kind of landscape imaginable can be found here. Overhead, a sun slowly works its way across the sky.

It is not a true star, that sun. Lord Aliester does not wish to create one, he would have to expend too much of his essence to do so. He does not wish to delay his ascension for something easily remedied afterward.

This world is still expanding, as Lord Aliester creates more of it. In truth, Heimdal is not yet a true, individual dimension. It is rooted within a focal point based within another world. This focal point is like a seed, waiting to blossom into a flower. When Lord Aliester ascends, Heimdal shall blossum into a new dimension, a Paradise for the souls worthy of it after the death of their bodies.

There is no life in Heimdal, but I am not alone here. There is one other in this world besides Father and Myself. She wanders now, alone and confused. Sometimes I watch her, but I cannot for long.

Seeing this woman mades my heart ache. The spirit of violence fills her soul, she wants to stop Lord Aliester. I cannot understand why she would want this. I do not understand how she could oppose the era of peace He intends to create.

Lord Aliester has asked me not to speak with her. He believes that she will come to understand. He speaks highly of her, but I do not understand why. She is not mortal, He has told me, nor even living. This confuses me, for I cannot understand what he means by neither mortal nor alive. She is not undead, this much I can see. She possesses a soul, I can sense it.

This woman is a mystery to me, I do not understand her. I cannot speak with her, but I can watch her. So I do, for as Long as I can bear. The violence in her soul drives me away, I cannot look upon it for very long.

When Lord Aliester allows it, I shall speak with her.

<p>Image Image Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits. That's th' life fer me. Image Image</p>

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Jak Snide
 
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Since I can't critique worth sheet....

Unread postby Jak Snide » Tue Nov 19, 2002 2:09 pm

Dude, that rocks. o_o


Uncle Pervy
 

Re: Since I can't critique worth sheet....

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Thu Nov 21, 2002 1:27 pm

More time passes, and still I follow the one with Turmoil in her soul. The violence withinher has calmed to a sort of confusion. Perhaps she is coming to accept what Lord Aliester desires?

She travels through Heimdal, viewing the world Lord Aliester is creating in all its splendor. As she does, she occasionally draws out a strange object from one of the pockets in her clothing. Father told me about it; the object is some sort of scanning device. I need not fear it, he assured, it cannot detect me.

As she calms, I allow myself to come closer to her. I watch her, percieving more and more details about her. She wears odd clothing, not all like my robes. Her hair is not like mine, matching more closely matching Lord Aliester's brown hair rather than my own. She keeps it pulled back with a length of metal.

I follow her though forests, though meadows and mountain scapes. Each are of wonderous beauty, wrought of Lord Aliester's own will.

Then, as she emerges from a forest, starting into a savannah of tall grasses, I draw too close. She looks back, and sees me! I freeze, as she regards me curiously. Then she takes a step toward me. She wasn't supposed to see me! How could I be so careless!

I turn and run, hoping that I have not broken Lord Aliester's word. I hear her voice call out for me, but I do not heed it. I have to get away from her! Lord Aliester bade me not to speak with her!

I hear her footsteps behind me, and realize that she is slowly gaining. I spread my wings, and beat them against the air frantically. Lifting from the ground, I work to climb as high into the air as I can.

Looking down, I see that she cannot, or perhaps she simply does not. Good, I did not break Lord Aliester's command.

I continue to climb upwards, soaring over Heimdal. Below, I see the woman emerge from the forest again. She no longer follows her previous course; going a different direction this time. Letting myself descend, I watch as she approaches the one thing within Heimdal that Lord Aliester did not create.

It is a twisted mass of metal, shaped outside of nature or Lord Aliester's will. It would take me a long time to walk around it, nearly as long as it has been since Lord Aliester left me. It's mass is wedge shaped, and covered with a variety of strange projections.

It is the core of Heimdal, the focus upon which Lord Aliester's world is built. All parts of Heimdall are connected to it; like a the essence of life within a Seed. When Lord Aliester finishes his ascension, Heimdal shall bloom forth from the core.

I watch the woman enters it. Then, I descend, and follow her inside. <p>Image Image Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits. That's th' life fer me. Image Image</p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=unclepervy@rpgww60462>Uncle]&nbsp; Image at: 1/8/03 2:08:19 pm

Uncle Pervy
 

Re: Since I can't critique worth sheet....

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Tue Nov 26, 2002 10:57 am

The world within the core of Heimdal is so very different than the one outside of it. It is a world of steel corridors, of hard angles and enclosed spaces.

In some ways, it feels like the cave that I followed the woman into a little while ago. The closeness of the walls and ceiling feel so limiting; I can hardly stretch my wings without my pinions brushing against the edges of the corridors. Everything is laid out in a geometric pattern; so unlike the natural dispersion of Heimdal. I can predict what on corridor will look like from seeing the previous ones.

The halls are filled with dust and debris; I seldom see one that does not look damaged. Glass litters the floor in some places; fallen support beams in others. From the corridors branch of small rooms whose purpose I do not know.

It feels alien. Yet at the same time, oddly familiar.

Lord Aliester told me of this place. He told me it was once used to travel between the stars by a race that resembled humans, known as the Cygnans. They spent years within the core, seeking a princess of their world who was lost, before finding her on Lord Aliester's homeworld. They attacked, and were stopped by a two brave women whose names went unrecorded. Lord Aliester chose the ruins of this ship to serve as the Core of Heimdal for it was one of the few things large enough to do so.

<span style="color:blue;">As I walk down corridor, I see something odd through one of the side doorways. Neither metal nor glass, it seems so very out of place. I stop and pick up, its surface coated with dust and yielding to my touch. It feels somewhat like a leaf, the way it shifts and changes under my fingers. Under the dust, its surface is smooth.

Paper. That is what this is. I recall it dimly from what Lord Aliester told me as he created me, amidst the flurry of understanding bestowed upon me. I run the paper between my fingers, marveling at the feel of it. Turning it over, I see something… odd on it: other people, representations of them imprinted on the paper.

It takes a moment for the proper word to come to my mind: it is a picture. There are two people on it. A woman with green hair, wearing some sort of darkened material over her eyes, stands next to… a man? I cannot tell. She stands next to someone with red hair wearing similar garb.

I wonder who they are? Perhaps some of the people who dwelt in the Core, before Lord Aliester claimed it? I wonder what they did? What function did they serve here? Lord Aliester has told me little of the Core. What did these two do here? Were they friends?

I wonder if I will ever have a friend? All I have here in Heimdal are Rei and Lord Aliester. Lord Aliester, I love and revere with all my heart. But he is not my friend, he stands too high above, I am only an angel before his divinity. He has more important things to worry about than I. I would have it no other way, harmony across existence is far more important than I am.

Rei… I do not know. I want to know her, to learn about her. When Lord Aliester allows, I shall. I want to speak with her, I want to try to understand why she resists, and help her see the truth. When Lord Aliester allows it, I shall. I wonder what I will do afterwards, though?

Putting the picture away, I continue to follow Rei, She is not very difficult to pursue, I can feel her presence within the Core no matter where she goes. Her footsteps are easy to follow, as well, and sometimes she speaks to herself. Lord Aliester has assured her safety while here, and she feels no fear. </span>

As I walk down a corridor, I hear her speak again, though her words are too faint to make out. Suddenly, I feel Lord Aliester's presence ahead, and I hear his voice reply!

Following that feeling, I find the woman and Lord Aliester in a roughly circular room. Lord Aliester float a handspan above the floor, his blue cloak resting over his shoulders and obscuring much of his body. The woman watches him, seeming ill at ease.

Why would she feel that way? Lord Aliester means her no harm.

"That shall be remedied when the time is right," Lord Aliester says to her, "Then Heimdal shall thrive with life of all kinds. Fish shall swim the sea, beasts shall roam the land, and birds will take wing to the skies."

I look forward to it, when Heimdal shall truly thrive.

"When I was looking around, I saw someone, or something else." The woman asks, "I think it had wings, and it fled from me when I tried to follow it. What was it?"

Lord Aliester nods, then says, "I see. I am not surprised that she followed you, nor am I surprised that she ran. I shall have to introduce you later..."

"Yeah, okay," the woman replies, sounding uneasy. Did I frighten her when she saw me?

"You've mentioned the time being right a few times now," the woman asks, "What will happen 'when the time is right?'"

"Do you wish to see, Rei?" Aliester asks, "Shall I show you?"

"Yes, please," The woman, Rei, replies.

Lord Aliester gives her a small, lop-sided grin, then gently drops to the ground from His previous postion in midair. Slowly walking toward the center of the room, He raises a hand.

The room begins to darken, it become hard to see Lord Aliester and the woman he called Rei. But I hear His voice Say, "Come. I have no desire to shout across the room."

Rei does so quietly, as near total darkness engulfs the chamber; I can hardly pick her out from the darkness. Then light begins to shine from above. I look upward to see numerous points of light shining on the ceiling, forming patterns.

"Tell me what you see, Rei," Lord Aliester requests, now just a voice in the darkness. I stay near the doorway, listening.

"Stars," she answers.

That is what they truly look like? I study them a little more closely. They twinkle and shine quietly, their simple beauty bringing a smile to my lips.

"Precisely." Lord Aliester says, "Now tell me, what are stars?"

"Spheres of hydrogen gas," replies Rei, "undergoing a constant process of fusion due to the immense amount of pressure that they extert upon their cores due to their own mass."

This Lord Aliester has told me. He told me everything about them, about their purpose and their reason for being. The Stars are more than what Rei said, more than simple lights in the sky. They are the source of Creation. From them came the chaotic miasma from which all existence was formed. From them came the Creator's power.

Stars exist in all planes, a remnant of the original beginning of the Universe. They give their light and their power to the worlds that exist near them, they lend their power to form the astral energies from which magic is derived. However, the power of the stars themselves is very different. It was the power that gave rise to everything.

They are connected, the Stars. From that connection arises a lattice of energy unlike anything that mortals or immortals can use. That power is the power of creation.

Lord Aliester draws that it. With that power, he created me, and Heimdal. With it, he shall ascend to unify existence, and end the hate and violence that pervades everywhere.

I listen as he explains all this to Rei, changing the starscape He had created to demonstrate this. She remains quiet, no doubt listening. I wish I could see her, and witness whether or not she has been convinced.

My Herald, comes the voice of Lord Aliester within my thoughts.

Yes, My Lord? I answer.

Depart for now, He commands, It is best that Rei not see you until she is ready to accept what I have told her, and what I plan. Depart for now. Soon, once she has come to realize the truth of my words, I will allow you to speak with her.

I shall leave, Lord Aliester,
I reply, as I turn and begin to walk down the hall, I hope that she accepts your words soon.

As do I, My Herald,
He answers, as do I




<p>Image Image Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits. That's th' life fer me. Image Image</p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=unclepervy@rpgww60462>Uncle]&nbsp; Image at: 1/14/03 7:15:34 pm

Rei AyanamiEva00
 

Just dropping by...^_^

Unread postby Rei AyanamiEva00 » Wed Nov 27, 2002 3:26 am

Well well, looks like my RP chara has transversed to another forum. Heh, does this mean I'm famous? ^_^ *lol*

Heh, good work Pervy! I love it, I wanna see more. It's to the quality of your Grudge Match posts. Beautiful! You are one talented author, and I always enjoy your works. <p>Walk softly...and pilot a big mech...

"You're not...Human...Are you?"
--Akari Kamagishi [Fighting Girl Series]

Mankind, as we knew it, is doomed. The Chrysalis will change us all. Let's just hope it's for the better...
--Konoko, ending of Oni
</p>

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Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby SorataYuy » Wed Nov 27, 2002 10:38 am

Heh, nice work on this one Pervy^_^. So, Rei's become a Universe Hopping type huh? *chuckles* howza bout putting her POV when she meets a certain dark haired roguish monk over where Rei's from too? that might be interesting to read. Looking forward to more.

"I don't need a plan, just a goal. The rest will follow on its own."
Gerrard of the Weatherlight


viator22
 

Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby viator22 » Wed Nov 27, 2002 9:15 pm

It's begining to remindme of a Madeline L' Engle book. The quality of it all remains high. I look forward to finding out more about all this.

Oh yeah, MORE. <p>-------
Why, I ask myself, shouldn't the shining dots in the sky be as accesible as the black dots on the map of France? - Vincent Van Gogh</p>

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Jak Snide
 
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*composes letter*

Unread postby Jak Snide » Sat Nov 30, 2002 12:06 am

Dear Pervy,

You rock, and I lack the skill to comment properly.

Pining for more,
Jak

PS: Please give Rei one cookie for quoting Oni.


Uncle Pervy
 

Re: Since I can't critique worth sheet....

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Thu Dec 05, 2002 10:33 am

Next part will be coming after I confer with Sorata on Something. <p>Image Image Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits. That's th' life fer me. Image Image</p>

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Nick Shogun
 
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Re: Since I can't critique worth sheet....

Unread postby Nick Shogun » Thu Dec 05, 2002 11:04 pm

I want to kick you Pervy, because your writing is so above decent.


Rei AyanamiEva00
 

Waiting for more...^_^

Unread postby Rei AyanamiEva00 » Fri Dec 06, 2002 6:15 am

Heh, I shall await your next post with eagerness, then Pervy! I can't wait to see it. ^_^

PS: And you're welcome Jak. ^_^ (Oni is my Fave) :D


GIANT MALON HAS DISAPPROVED :( ~The Manangement

Giant Malon has been removed, on account of table-stretchy badness. ={{{ -The OTHER Management- <p>Walk softly...and pilot a big mech...

"You're not...Human...Are you?"
--Akari Kamagishi [Fighting Girl Series]

Mankind, as we knew it, is doomed. The Chrysalis will change us all. Let's just hope it's for the better...
--Konoko, ending of Oni
</p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=pdrydia>pd]&nbsp; Image at: 12/20/02 8:48:58 pm

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Jak Snide
 
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*chuckles*

Unread postby Jak Snide » Fri Dec 06, 2002 1:28 pm

If you stick around, we'll raise to total number of major Oni fans on the board to an almighty 3!

Oh, and Pervy, write more, ya git. ;p


Uncle Pervy
 

Re: Since I can't critique worth sheet....

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Mon Dec 09, 2002 3:19 am

I leave the chamber behind, trusting that Lord Aliester shall be able to convince her of the truth. I am sure that he can. I hope that she accepts. It is sad that someone would fight the truth.

Stepping from the cold metallic corridors of the core, I find myself in a desert of shining sands. It's warmth at my bare feet feels particularly nice, contrasting to the chill of the steel within the Core. The sun above is quite warm, but it does not bother me. Lord Aliester's power is enough to keep me comfortable.

However, I sense that I am not alone here. There is another soul within Heimdal. It is different than Rei's, or Lord Aliester's. In it, I feel confusion. This soul does not truly know where he is, or what is happening.

He is not supposed to be here, not as Rei is. Poor thing, he is likely lost. But how did he come to Heimdal? Why is he here? Lord Aliester already knows of his presence, but is busy with Rei.

How did he come here? I have to know. <span style="color:blue;">Is he like Lord Aliester, a seeker of Peace? Does he resist, like Rei?

Maybe he is like me? Perhaps, he realizes that Lord Aliester desires only peace. He is alone now, in Heimdal. Does he want to be alone? Or perhaps he seeks another?

I wonder if I could be that other?</span>

Spreading my wings, I take to the air and fly toward that soul. It is not hard to find him. I can feel his presense just as I could feel the sand under my feet earlier.

The desert gives way to more plains, as I fly onward. Finally, near the shore of a pristine lake, I see a moving figure. Landing not too far away, I begin follow him.

He seems distracted, for he does not notice me. He is less alert than Rei was, more focused on something else. <span style="color:blue;">Curiously, I cannot sense what he is feeling, like I can with Rei. What is he feeling? Curious? Hopeful? All I get is a general feeling of confusion.</span>

It is easy for me to get near him. As I do, I hear him talking to himself. "What are you planning, Aliester?" he asks himself, "What are you going to do with all this? What's the point of stacking all these demiplanes?

"And why'd you help push him this far, Tiff? I thought you had more sense than to listen to an old fossil like Mellewyn..."

<p>Image Image Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits. That's th' life fer me. Image Image</p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=unclepervy@rpgww60462>Uncle]&nbsp; Image at: 1/14/03 8:05:15 pm

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SorataYuy
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Re: Riding Upon Inspiration

Unread postby SorataYuy » Sun Dec 15, 2002 9:48 pm

Well Pervy you are going to write more soon aren't you? Let's hear about her encounter with this person who's talking to himself, shall we? <p>"I don't need a plan just a goal. The rest will follow on its own." Gerrard of the Weatherlight

"Told you... You're my type..." Sorata Arisugawa</p>

Uncle Pervy
 

Bury ME under Thread Necromancy, Will ya Sis? Have at you!

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Tue Dec 17, 2002 10:04 pm

"Why are you here?" I ask, approaching the man. "And why do you speak of Lord Aliester so?" <span style="color:blue;">I hope that I can help him see. I hope he can accept peace. Then, perhaps, I can have another to be with.</span>

He starts, then turns around and regards me with a raised eyebrow. He is taller than I by at least a hand's breath. His hair and his eyes are dark, unlike my own or Lord Aliester's. "And who are you?" he asks after a moment, "And why are you here?"

"I am Enlil," I answer, "Lord Aliester's Herald."

"Aliester's Herald?" He says, more to himself than to me. Running a hand over his chin, he looks at me and asks, "So tell me... just when did he make you his Herald? I must admit, I'm a bit suprised he felt the need for one. "

"I have been Herald of Lord Aliester since he created me," I explain to him. He seems confused, perhaps lost. How did he come to Heimdal? He is not supposed to be here. <span style="color:blue;">But, I hope he comes to be a part of it.</span>

His eyes widen a bit, as he asks, "What do you mean he created you? I wasn't aware Aliester had that much power...."

I nod to him. "Lord Aliester possesses the Power of Creation. He created me, as well as this world that we are in. Now, please tell me how you came to be here. I do not think that Lord Aliester has invited you."

He smiles, just a bit. "Well, you're right there. I wasn't invited by him. But," The smile fades, as does his rather rueful tone. "Your Lord, Aliester, is someone I've been told to watch."

He shakes his head, and looks at me as though appraising me. "And I wasn't expecting this... Never thought he'd start creating things. And, unless I'm mistaken, he's started creating angels, hasn't he?"

"Just I," I answer. "Lord Aliester needs no other heralds at the moment. But why are you here? Were you truly sent to watch Lord Aliester?"

His shoulders rise a little, then fall as he turns to face me fully. "Not him exactly, but another he knows. I was told to make sure he stayed alive, as well as the other person. " he licks at his lips a bit, betraying the unease he is trying to hide."I'm starting to wonder about that though. What's he doing here anyway? I came here because I was concerned for him and Rei. I haven't seen either one of them since I got here, though..."

He knows Rei and Lord Aliester. Who is this man? <span style="color:blue;">I begin to feel a little sad. I don't think he is going to be my friend. And if he does try to stop Lord Aliester... I don't think we can ever be such. Why do people oppose peace?</span>

"There is no need to concern yourself for Lord Aliester." I tell him, "He is preparing to bring peace to existence. But you should not be here, if Lord Aliester has not invited you. It would be best if you leave."

His eyes widen again, then he shakes his head, before his face loses all semblence of expression. "Please explain that last bit. Bring peace to existence?"

What an odd question. "Lord Aliester is the Heir to Creation," I explain to him. "He possesses the power to Remake existence. He will use it to bind the universe together, and remove the causes of strife and warfare. Please, leave now, and be ready for the new era to begin. There is no reason for you to worry."

His brow furrows, as he speaks. "So that's what his plan is. Decided he's the one who can remake everything, I see." He shakes his head. "I've heard words like that before. They were spoken by tyrants who thought their way was the only way and that everyone should just fall in line. No, I'm not leaving. I may not really be able to act unless absolutely necessary, but if I have to, I will do what I can. As for a new era, why should he be the one to decide this era has to end?"

Such violence in his soul now! He is not thinking; why would he compare Lord Aliester to those he seeks to stop. Perhaps... he is jealous? "How could you want an era of hate and strife to continue?" I ask him, "What purpose does it serve? Have you not seen the death and destruction? How can you condone it? How can you oppose Lord Aliester for working to stop this? I do not understand."

"I don't want it, that's the point. But as little as I want death and hate to continue, I want peace imposed upon me even less. Peace granted by power is not real peace." He sighs. "True peace is peace you get from ending hate yourself. You have to have peace in your heart for peace to be real. If it's forced upon you, then peace doesn't feel real. Your heart will still want to fight. Yes, I think Aliester is right for wanting to bring about peace, but his methods are entirely wrong."

"And in the meantime people die," I tell him. Why doesn't he see that? "Aliester desires only to stop this, and to lead everyone into an new age of harmony. I do not see why you would oppose him for this. Do you fear that you will be found wanting? All you need to do is give up the violence in your heart. Simply set aside the urge to slay others. This is all Lord Aliester desires. You need not love or understand everyone, simply let them live. Someday, you will understand them, and they you. This is all Lord Aliester desires to encourage, to lead people to end the violence, and help them accept each other."

You are correct, my Herald, echoes the voice of Lord Aliester, within my mind. This man is afraid. He desires peace, but he is afraid to pursue it. He fears what he has to lose, clinging blindly to what he knows. Lacking courage, he cannot continue forward on his own. He desires good, but does not pursue it. Allow me to speak with him.

I nod my head respectfully, smiling inwardly at His praise, and send my thoughts back to Him. Thank you, Lord Aliester. I hope that you shall show him the way.

Worry not, My Herald, he answers. In the meantime, you may now speak with Rei. She did not agree with me, lamentably. But I know that she will realize soon enough. Perhaps your presence shall comfort her.

I look at the man, and see that he has a faraway look in his eyes. Lord Aliester is speaking to him, as well; I can feel His power around the man. His eyes suddenly come into focus again, and he looks at me oddly. "You might, just might be right." He says, looking at me with an odd expression I cannot read. Then, the look fades as he grins a little. "In any case, we'll find out which of us is right soon I think."

With that, the man begins to walk away, heading away from the both the lake and the desert.

What did Lord Aliester say to him?

Do not worry about such, my Herald, his voice answers my thoughts.

I shall not, Lord Aliester, I reply, And I shall go to Rei with all haste.

Thank you, my Herald, He answers, When she is ready to see me once more, please tell her that I await at the pinnacle of the Core.

His voice fades from my mind, but I am left with something to ponder. Who was Mellewyn, the one that the stranger mentioned earlier, before he knew I was here?

<span style="color:blue;">But that is not important now. As the man walks away, I put him out of my thoughts. Rei is important now. I just hope that she is willing to listen... and to talk with me. I want someone to talk to, someone with whom I can enjoy the coming peace...</span> <p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image</div></p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=unclepervy@rpgww60462>Uncle]&nbsp; Image at: 1/14/03 8:26:34 pm

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Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby pd Rydia » Wed Dec 18, 2002 3:23 am

I TOLD you I'd read this finally, bro. ^_^;

Nice stuff. Definately different from your Pervy fanficcishness, and appropriately so -- the writing style fits Enlil perfectly. I think you've got just the right balance between description, her thoughts, and interactions/dialogue, too.

Now, I'll get on the with nitpicky bastadry that I'm so famous for. >.>;;

<small><ul>3rd story installment:<ul>-=- "I watch er, picking up little details." (sp -- "her"; awkward -- "picking up little details" could be changed into something more sensical, i.e. "picking up little details about her,")
-=- "Her hair is, matching more closely matching Lord Aliester's brown hair rather than my own." (akward)
-=- "I freeze, as she regards me curiousl." (sp -- "curiously")</ul>4th installment:<ul>-=- "They more than what Rei said. " (akw -- "were more" ?)
-=- "Soon, once he has come to realize the truth of my words, I will allow you to speak with her." (sp -- she, not he)</ul>5th:<ul>-=- "I can feel his presense just I could feel the sand under my feet earlier." (sp -- presence; akw -- "just as I" ?)</ul>6th:<ul>-=- "He says, more to himself than to me, Running a hand over his chin." (capitalization -- "running"; awk -- "running a hand over his chin" seems a bit odd where it's added, seems to disrupt the sentence flow somehow...maybe you can add that detail into the next sentence somehow?)
-=- "She smiles, just a bit." (sp -- "He")
-=- "But, when you're working for someone who broughtyou back to life," (spacing -- "brought you")
-=- And I wasn't expecting this...... Never thought he'd start creating things. And, unless I'm mistaken, he's started Creating Angels hasn't he?" (overuse of ellipsis; capitalization -- "creating angels")
-=- "I haven't seen either one of them since I got here, thought.." (improper ellipsis; sp -- "though," not thought)
-=- "His Eyes widen again" (capi. -- "eyes")
-=- "Decided he's the one who can remake everything I see." (punct. -- "everything, I see")
-=- " I've heard words like that before. They were spoken by tyrants who thought their way was the only way and that every one should just fall in line." (spacing -- ""I've..."; sp -- "everyone")
-=- "I do not see why you would oppose him for this?" (punct. -- "for this.")
-=- "Echos the voice" (capi., sp -- "echoes")
-=- "His voice fades from my mind, but I am left with one more. Who was Mellewyn, the one that he mentioned earlier, before he knew I was here?" (akw. -- one more voice? one more question? Also, "he" first led me to think of Aliester, and it took me a while to realize she was referring to the stranger)</ul></ul><small> <p><div style="text-align:center">
"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...an F.N.W.C.!"
-- VampireJesterJinx (VA by...Dia! :D!)</div></p>Edited by: pd Rydia&nbsp; Image at: 12/18/02 2:24:15 am

Uncle Pervy
 

Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Wed Dec 18, 2002 5:48 am

Dear Sis.

*GLOMP!*

I needed that Picky Bastardry like a car needs oil.

Trust me, I love you for it!

*Gives Dia an Enlil the Herald Plushie*

I'm glad that you enjoy it.^____^

<3,
Bro. <p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image</div></p>

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Re: Riding upon inspiration... The Creation of Enlil

Unread postby pd Rydia » Wed Dec 18, 2002 6:30 am

::snuggles plushie::

^_^ Glad that helped ya. Oh, as a side note, aside from the few awkward sentences, I found no problems whatsoever with the flow. :P You weaved your story so well I didn't even realize it. <p><div style="text-align:center">
"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...an F.N.W.C.!"
-- VampireJesterJinx (VA by...Dia! :D!)</div></p>

Uncle Pervy
 

A Scene from the RP, from a different point of view ^^

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Thu Dec 19, 2002 6:31 pm

I feel Rei's presence as she leaves the Core and sets out into Heimdal again. Anger clings to her soul, I can feel it even though I am miles away from her. It saddens me that such rage burns within her heart. Why does she hold to it? I do not understand.

It is better to follow her on foot, I decide. She is so upset, and I do not wish to surprise her. Without using my wings, it takes me some time to close the distance between the two of us. As I feel myself getting closer, my anticipation grows. Who is this woman, Rei? Why is it that Lord Aliester brought her here? <span style="color:blue;">And, will she understand? Will she be my friend? I want to have someone else here...</span>

I also feel sad for her. She is so upset, so angry! What is it that has her so mad? Why does she cling to this rage so? It hurts for me to look at it for long. I hope that I can help her. If Rei is so important to Lord Aliester, then I pray that I can help her release her rage. <span style="color:blue;">No, I want to help her, even if she meant nothing to Lord Aliester.</span>

As I draw closer, I begin to understand what happened between Lord Aliester and she, as I catch errant thoughts that she unwittingly allows to fly freely. She did not agree with Lord Aliester as he outlaid what he desired to do. She decried it and attacked Him. Lord Aliester defeated her easily.

Shame and frustration eminate from her soul as well, as I near her. She is angry with herself for having lost the fight. She nurses her rage and bitterness, hoping to unleash against him in a tide of violence against Lord Aliester. Pity wells within my soul as I feel this from her. Anger will not solve her problems, yet she relies on it. I hope that she sees the truth soon, <span style="color:blue;">for both our sakes.</span>

It is also clear that she has no real idea where she is going. She wanders in circles, not truly knowing where she wishes to be. It is not hard for me to catch up with her.

Finally, I come within sight of her, and she furiously pushes her way through some underbrush within a forest. Looking around, she grits her teeth, then suddenly tosses her sword to the ground! "Aliester!" she cries, "Where in hell are you!?"

Her voice echoes over Heimdal as I approach her and say, "Lord Aliester is everywhere."

Rei starts, then whirls on her heel, stooping down to claim her sword. She brings the weapon to bear at me, then stops as her eyes widen a little. <span style="color:blue;">Hope flares within me, for</span>she recognizes me; I can feel from her.

"Who are you?" She asks, her voice tense. Her stance shifts a bit unsteadily.

"Why do you fight Lord Aliester?" I ask, as I fold my hands before me. I hope she realizes I have no desire to fight.

"Because he's gone mad," Rei counters, "Because any sane person would. No one can replace God and he's insane for trying."

Ah, she is sees it in terms of her own faith. But I do not understand. How could such a minor thing be worth trying to stop Lord Aliester? Why would one allow others to suffer over that?

"I pity you, Rei," I say to her, "Why is it that you oppose peace? Why do you strive against Lord Aliester's ascension? What do you fear? I cannot comprehend it. Lord Aliester wants only to free the universe from the hate and isolation that tears it apart."

"Lord Aliester cares only for himself," Rei snaps back. "If he wanted to help the world, trying to fight God isn't the way to do it. All he wants is power, nothing more. He's insane."

How terrible for her! She is so obsessed with her rage that she blinds herself to the truth. My soul aches in sympathy for Rei. If only she would let go of her anger, she would see that Lord Aliester desires only good for existence. <span style="color:blue;">She would see that no one means her any harm, that I just want to talk with her...</span>

"It is sad that you feel this way," I say, "But worry not, you shall soon see the Truth. Lord Aliester is merciful, and He thinks very highly of you. He will forgive your confusion."

"Just what are you?" She asks, her blue eyes locking onto my own. But I hardly notice, as the voice of Lord Aliester echoes into my thoughts.

We have more Visitors, my Herald. Please, greet them for me.

Yes, Lord Aliester, I answer, as the image of where he desires me to go forms within my mind.

"I am afraid I must go," I tell Rei, as I bow politely, and spread my wings a little. "Lord Aliester bids me elsewhere. He wishes me to tell you that he awaits on the pinnacle of the Core of Heimdal."

Then, I draw upon Lord Aliester's power, before she can answer, and use it to take me to the place He has shown me. I wish I could have spoken with her longer, but Lord Aliester's will is more important. <span style="color:blue;">For harmony, for Him, I will sacrifice my desries.</span>

<p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image</div></p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=unclepervy@rpgww60462>Uncle]&nbsp; Image at: 1/14/03 10:14:02 pm

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Re: A Scene from the RP, from a different point of view ^^

Unread postby pd Rydia » Thu Dec 19, 2002 9:22 pm

*ahem* I am short on words today so to your last entry I say the ever-classic:

More.


Also, your regular dose of Stuff!

<small>"He voice echoes over Heimdal" (her voice)

"Rei starts, then whirls on a her heel" ("her", not "a her")

"Why do you fight Lord Aliester?" I ask, as I fold my hands before me. I hope she realizes I have no desire to fight.
"Because he's gone mad," Rei counters, "Because any sane person would. No one can replace God; and he's insane for trying."
(line break)

"No one can replace God; and he's insane for trying." (no semicolon)

"Just what are you?" She asks, her green eyes locking onto my own. But I hardly notice, as the voice of Lord Aliester echoes into my thoughts.
We have more Visitors, my Herald. Please, greet them for me.
(line break)</small> <p><div style="text-align:center">
"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...an F.N.W.C.!"
-- VampireJesterJinx (VA by...Dia! :D!)</div>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">Barge: *raises his sword* Game... *twirls it* Set... *smirk*
Big Fat Chocobo: *a big fat chocobo falls on the demon Barge* ^)-(^
Hakaril: .......Dia? Did YOU do that?
Rydia: *stares* o_O ...I think so.
Hakaril: ...that's great!
Richard: O.O WOAH. Remind me NEVER to get YOU mad, Dia. O.O;;;;
Raptre: HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Idran: So remember everyone. Crushing works good on demons.</span></p>

Rei AyanamiEva00
 

Re: A Scene from the RP, from a different point of view ^^

Unread postby Rei AyanamiEva00 » Fri Dec 20, 2002 5:37 am

That was beautifully written, Pervy! I eagerly await more!!!

Just one thing... Rei has <font color=blue>BLUE</font> eyes, not <font color=green>GREEN</font>.


Dear Rei

Beat you to it.

Also, There is a ferret about to crawl down your shirt. You should do something about that.

<3,
Pervy


Okay ^_^ *tosses the Ferret off*

*The Ferret steals Rei's Wallet and paints her face Blue*

*pounds the ferret* Git you crazy animal! Cantcha see that I'm trying to read?

Ferret: *Shouts several Spanglish obscenities, then runs off to soothe its sore head with Moonshine* <p>Walk softly...and pilot a big mech...

"You're not...Human...Are you?"
--Akari Kamagishi [Fighting Girl Series]

Mankind, as we knew it, is doomed. The Chrysalis will change us all. Let's just hope it's for the better...
--Konoko, ending of Oni
</p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=unclepervy@rpgww60462>Uncle]&nbsp; Image at: 12/20/02 5:26:18 am

Uncle Pervy
 

Another RP Scene from a different point of view ^^

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Fri Dec 20, 2002 9:41 pm

For a moment, silvery white light washes over my vision, then fades away to reveal an entirely new place. I stand in a small chamber made of steel, wreathed by windows. Along the edges of the chamber are intricate machines, I don't know exactly what their purpose is. But I know what this place is. Lord Aliester told me me of machines made by mortals, used for flying through the air. I feel this must be one of them

As I look around, I am greeted by five faces, each of them showing varying degrees of suprise. I ponder them all, wondering who would come to visit Lord Aliester. As I do, several of them draw weapons.

Two of them are human, like Lord Aliester once was. One is a woman, wearing light blue robes. I feel fear and surprise from her; she doesn't know what to think of me. The other human is a man, which darker skin and short black hair. He regards me with outright confusion, and knows not what to think.

Two of the others are half elven. One stands near the man, a purple-haired woman levels some kind of hand-held weapon at me. A pistol, I recognize after a moment. From her, I feel determination. She sees me as a possible threat, and will strike me down if I prove so. But, she does not truly believe that I am. The other half elf, however, he eminates fear. Holding a sword in each hand, he expects me to try to strike him down at any moment.

The final person, I cannot feel anything from at all. He is like the man that came to Heimdal uninvited; I cannot sense his emotions! He is appears elven, but his face is far too angular to be one. His hair is the color of snow, and he wears a robe made of black silk. His eyes are like ice.

I cannot feel his emotions, yet I feel something else eminating from him. Power... Some kind of power. It is restrained, and nothing compared to Lord Aliester's. Yet as his ice colored eyes connect with my own, I know that he intends to use that power to destroy Lord Aliester. I do not sense it as I did the feeling so of the others.

I feel it within myself. I know that he has malice toward Lord Aliester. And I can tell by how he looks at me, even though his face is emotionless, that he knows I was created by Lord Aliester. I can see it in his eyes.

It takes me a moment to muster my courage, after meeting that gaze, before I bow my head to them all, and say, "Lord Aliester cordially invites you to meet with Him in Heimdal. I have been sent by Him to guide you."

"And who'n the bloody blue blazes are you?" Demands the male half elf, not changing his stance. I still feel wariness from him, but also a sense of expectancy.

"My name is Enlil," I tell him, "I am the Herald of Lord Aliester."

"Herald?" The human woman asks.

"When his ascension is complete," I answer, "I shall announce it to the various dimensions, bringing the first days of peace the the universe."

The male half elf snorts, the others just listen in silence. The snow-haired man has yet to move, or flinch. His eyes simply bore into my own. I ignore it, knowing that he can never match Lord Aliester. Instead, I recite the message that I was asked to give. "Lord Aliester bids you to land in the main docking bay. I shall guide you from there."

With that said, I invoke Lord Aliester's power once more, and let it take me away from there, and return me to the Core. <p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image</div></p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=unclepervy@rpgww60462>Uncle]&nbsp; Image at: 1/14/03 11:12:10 pm

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Re: Another RP Scene from a different point of view ^^

Unread postby pd Rydia » Fri Dec 20, 2002 10:05 pm

Two more instances of improper line breaks, both at the bottom there.

In other news, story's getting quite interesting. ^_^ <p><div style="text-align:center">
"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...an F.N.W.C.!"
-- VampireJesterJinx (VA by...Dia! :D!)</div>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">Barge: *raises his sword* Game... *twirls it* Set... *smirk*
Big Fat Chocobo: *a big fat chocobo falls on the demon Barge* ^)-(^
Hakaril: .......Dia? Did YOU do that?
Rydia: *stares* o_O ...I think so.
Hakaril: ...that's great!
Richard: O.O WOAH. Remind me NEVER to get YOU mad, Dia. O.O;;;;
Raptre: HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Idran: So remember everyone. Crushing works good on demons.</span></p>

Uncle Pervy
 

Proofread? Get yo' Momma to Proofread!

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Tue Dec 24, 2002 10:18 pm

The silvery white light fades once again, and I find myself near the outer edge of the Core, in an expansive chamber made of steel. If I so desired, I could stretch my wings and fly freely inside this place.

All around me are the ruined remains of old machines, originating from elsewhere. Lord Aliester had told me that he had not created the Core, only that its original purpose was lost. As I look at these machines, I wonder what its original purpose was? They are creations of black and red metal, shaped vaguely like a creature Lord Aliester had called an arachnid. They are large enough for me to climb into; there is a place that seems to be built for a person to sit. Later, <span style="color:blue;">I hope to examine them more closely. but Lord Aliester's Guests must be guided, first

Looking at the machines, I am reminded of that picture I found, several hours ago. Did those two use these machines? I wonder if they could have shown me how they work? That would have been interesting; Not even Lord Aliester knows much of these machines.</span>

I believe a set of doors once rested there. But whatever has ruined the core has also torn them away, leaving a gaping hole in the wall. Outside, I can see open sky and clouds. It is not part of Heimdal, but rather the world that the Core is based in. Through the hole, I can also see a large mass of metal hovering in the air, the vehicle that Lord Aliester's guests used to arrive here.

<span style="color:blue;">I think back to that snow-haired man;</span> he unsettles me. It is not his power, for he cannot hope to match Lord Aliester. Rather, it is the malice behind him. Rei, even though she is blinded by hate, may give it up when she has calmed. Yet that man's hate, it is always with him. I do not think he will desire to release it soon, not without experiencing some kind of revelation..

He will come to realize, my Herald, Comes the voice of Lord Aliester in my thoughts. Worry not about him.
Who is he?
I ask, Why does he hate You so?

He believes that what I do, he deserves,
Lord Aliester explains. He is an elder being, the first of the Sidhe. He believes that existence belongs to him and to his kind. It is sad that he has warped others to his hate.

What is his name?
I press, Does he really believe that he has your place, your power? Lord Aliester, how could he be so deluded? How could one so filled with hate think that Existence is his?

His name is Mellewyn, and I know not, my Herald,
Answers Lord Aliester, His hate for me comes from his fear. He fears that I desire what he sees as his own. He fears that I will take his place.And in that respect, so far as his aspirations to rule all, he is very right. I will rule existence, and unify it under the banner of peace. That is why he fears me.

Mellewyn. That is the name that the man I met earlier mentioned. He said that Mellewyn had done something to Lord Aliester, and to another woman. But Lord Aliester is beyond him now. I fear not.

Who are the others? I ask Him,<span style="color:blue;">a little more eagerly, hoping to learn more of them.</span> Why are they with Mellewyn?

They are friends of mine,
Aliester says, They are concerned for me, afraid for me. They want to know that I am alright. And, they want to stop me if they think I am not.
Do not worry about them, for they desire peace as well. It will not be hard to convince them.


I watch a small metal craft emerge from the larger one. For a moment, I wonder if they would try to attack the Core itself, hoping to destory it around Lord Aliester. If they truly believed in the hate that Mellewyn holds, they might.

"But why would they?" I ponder aloud, knowing that Lord Aliester heard my thoughts, "Why would they oppose You, Lord Aliester? What could they gain by fighting you? Do they not know what they would lose if they actually did stop you?"

They shall learn, He assures me.

I sense that he desires to say something else. Lord Aliester, I ask, What is it you wish of me?

[i]Rei co
[/i] He says after a moment. She will help you escort my old companions to the bridge. Beware; she has yet to accept the Truth, and she may try to harm you. But worry not.

I shall not, My Lord, I tell him. I can feel that he truly is concerned that Rei may try to harm me. If she comes, though, at Lord Aliester's behest, then they must have met. I hope that he managed to reach her a little. It is sad that someone Lord Aliester thinks so highly of would shun peace so violently.

<span style="color:blue;">And, it is sad that she... hates me. I could feel it, right before I had to leave. She... despised me. I don't understand. I just want to help her. I...just want to have someone else here.</span> <p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image</div></p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=unclepervy@rpgww60462>Uncle]&nbsp; Image at: 1/14/03 8:30:26 pm

Rei AyanamiEva00
 

Re: Proofread? Get yo' Momma to Proofread!

Unread postby Rei AyanamiEva00 » Tue Dec 24, 2002 11:14 pm

Nice post... Well written... All I have to say: More!!! Image

And what does the "Tails" mean under my username?

Someday, you will understand. ~Pervy <p>Walk softly...and pilot a big mech...

"You're not...Human...Are you?"
--Akari Kamagishi [Fighting Girl Series]

Mankind, as we knew it, is doomed. The Chrysalis will change us all. Let's just hope it's for the better...
--Konoko, ending of Oni
</p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=unclepervy@rpgww60462>Uncle]&nbsp; Image at: 12/24/02 10:22:24 pm

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pd Rydia
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Location: Temple of Fiends

Re: Proofread? Get yo' Momma to Proofread!

Unread postby pd Rydia » Wed Dec 25, 2002 4:08 pm

I could repeat myself, but you know what I've said. It all applies here. :P

More.

<ul><small>"He believes that what would I do, he deserves," -- akward wording

"His name is Mellewyn, and I know not, my Herald, Answers Lord Aliester, His hate for me comes from his fear." -- capi. (answers); punctuation ("Lord Aliester.")

"so far as his aspirations to rule all," -- akward diction (he aspires)?

"Rei co He says after a moment." -- typo (comes?)

"she has yet to accept the Turth," -- sp (Truth)</small></ul> <p><div style="text-align:center">
"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...an F.N.W.C.!"
-- VampireJesterJinx (VA by...Dia! :D!)</div>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">Barge: *raises his sword* Game... *twirls it* Set... *smirk*
Big Fat Chocobo: *a big fat chocobo falls on the demon Barge* ^)-(^
Hakaril: .......Dia? Did YOU do that?
Rydia: *stares* o_O ...I think so.
Hakaril: ...that's great!
Richard: O.O WOAH. Remind me NEVER to get YOU mad, Dia. O.O;;;;
Raptre: HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Idran: So remember everyone. Crushing works good on demons.</span></p>

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SorataYuy
The dark-haired miscreant
 
Posts: 88
Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2002 10:38 am
Location: Texas, USA

Re: Proofread? Get yo' Momma to Proofread!

Unread postby SorataYuy » Thu Dec 26, 2002 12:47 am

very nice stuff Pervy. hehe, keep it up. I'd really like to see the upcoming events from her eyes this time around^_^. <p>"I don't need a plan just a goal. The rest will follow on its own." Gerrard of the Weatherlight

"Told you... You're my type..." Sorata Arisugawa</p>

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pd Rydia
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Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2002 4:12 pm
Location: Temple of Fiends

Re: Proofread? Get yo' Momma to Proofread!

Unread postby pd Rydia » Thu Dec 26, 2002 8:04 pm

Caesar! Whee!

Nice bit of dialogue. o.o Confusing, do to the number of speakers, and I'd assume that was the effect you wanted. <p><div style="text-align:center">
"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...an F.N.W.C.!"
-- VampireJesterJinx (VA by...Dia! :D!)</div>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">Barge: *raises his sword* Game... *twirls it* Set... *smirk*
Big Fat Chocobo: *a big fat chocobo falls on the demon Barge* ^)-(^
Hakaril: .......Dia? Did YOU do that?
Rydia: *stares* o_O ...I think so.
Hakaril: ...that's great!
Richard: O.O WOAH. Remind me NEVER to get YOU mad, Dia. O.O;;;;
Raptre: HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Idran: So remember everyone. Crushing works good on demons.</span></p>

Uncle Pervy
 

Re: Proofread? Get yo' Momma to Proofread!

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Fri Dec 27, 2002 1:48 am

FUCK!

THAT'S THE WRONG BIT! >_<

I PASTED THE WRONG FCUKING THING!!!

>____________<

Now I gotta rewrite that WHOLE FCUKING SCENE! <p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image</div></p>

Uncle Pervy
 

Re: Proofread? Get yo' Momma to Proofread!

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Fri Dec 27, 2002 4:00 am

The small craft lands not far from where I stand. Quietly, I wait with my hands folded before me. A door on it slides open, and Mellewyn emerges. Instantly, his ice-colored eyes connect with mine, and seem to bore into my soul. I match his gaze, knowing that he could never match Lord Aliester's power nor his purpose. The others follow the Dark Sidhe out. The two humans emerge,as does the male half-elf. But the lavender-haired woman is nowhere to be seen. I can feel that the dark-haired man is concerned about her.

"Lead us to Aliester," Mellewyn commands.

"I shall," I answer calmly, "Come, Lord Aliester is patiently awaiting your arrival."

"Wait a minute," says trhe half-elf, "There's a couple questions that I want you to answer."

"I can do that," I replies, as I begin to lead them across the chamber. <span style="color:blue;">A bit of hope flutters in my breast. </span>

"Where did you come from?" he asks. "Why do you serve Aliester? Why are you so loyal to him?"

I can feel that he believes I joined with Lord Aliester from elsewhere, that I had an existence beforehand. "He created me," I explain. "Lord Aliester made me to serve as his Herald. I follow him because his way is the Truth; the path to peace and perfection in the universe."

The Half-elf stares at me, wide-eyed. I can feel disbelief from him. No, not that. He does not want to believe it. He is afraid to. The humans look at me much the same, the woman's mouth open a little, the man's eyebrows very close to his hairline. Mellewyn's gaze bores into me, the slightest hint of a smile tugging at the Sidhe's lips.

"What is wrong?" I ask.

"Aliester... created you?" Asks the woman. Her mind is racing, she is trying to understand how it could be. She cannot accept that I was made by Lord Aliester.

"Yes," I tell her.

"How?!" demands the other human. He too is afraid. But his fear is different, more for Lord Aliester Himself than the half-elf's concerns. I do not understand. He wonders if Lord Aliester has the right to do so. The man is afraid for Him.

"I am not sure," I tell him, deciding to let Lord Aliester address his hidden concerns. "Creation is Lord Aliester's right, it is not the place of others to dabble into such powers."

"It is worse than I feared," The snow-haired man declares, "We have little time."

"Yes," I agree, "I wish to return to Lord Aliester's side soon. So let us be off."

What is it you fear, Mellewyn? That Lord Aliester will achieve what you cannot? That your hatred is wasted? Why is it that you fear peace so selfishly?

****

As we walk through the hallways of the Core, Rei finds us. I sense her coming, and what I feel from her pleases me. Her anger is gone, her fury released. But I feel a resolve instead. She still intends to oppose Lord Aliester, but no longer does she rage at him. Yet she no longer clings to her rage, and that brings her closer to Lord Aliester's ideals. I feel hope for Rei; <span style="color:blue;">hope for us both.</span>

She tells them that Lord Aliester has gone insane, and of his plans for Heimdal and the rest of existence. They are untruths, but I do not correct them. Lord Aliester shall do so.

Then, Mellewyn mentions his fears once more, as we near the Pinnacle where Lord Aliester awaits. So I turn to him and ask, "Why would you fear? Lord Aliester shall bring peace and harmony to the universe."

"Yes," Says the Dark Sidhe, "By destroying everything in it. He is going to purge all life from existence and remake it as he desires."

Such deception! How could he possibly delude himself into believing that? Lord Aliester cherishes life above all else! I cannot understand how Mellewyn could possibly believe this.

"You are wrong," I counter. "Lord Aliester shall ascend, and bring peace to all."

"We have no time for this!" Rei interrupts, "Aliester's gone mad, and he has to be stopped. Now let's go."

No, Rei, he has not. But you will have to understand that on your own. <span style="color:blue;">I would help you, even if I fail the time would not be wasted.</span>I nod to her silently, and lead everyone onwards. <p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image</div></p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=unclepervy@rpgww60462>Uncle]&nbsp; Image at: 1/14/03 8:43:27 pm

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