Programming for the borderline retarded

[BrainWalker]

OKAY, so here's what's going on. Every now and then my muse lets me know that I haven't done anything particularly creative or productive lately and starts bitching about whatever it was she was bitching about last time we had that conversation. Anyway, the point is recently I've been feeling like doing something productive, which in my case traditionally means web design. Last time I did this I focused on style. This time around, I've been looking into expanding my repitoire and adding functionality. That's where programming comes in.

So... I guess what I'm looking for is some advice. There's a lot of languages out there that do a lot of things, and while it's not hard to find resources on how to learn to code, it's a bit harder for the uninitiated to figure out what exactly the scope of all this code is. We got Perl, Python, JavaScript, PHP, SQL... but what does it all do? I mean, I've heard people argue about the form, structure, efficiency, and even eloquence of proramming languages, but it seems all these people take for granted that anyone listening already knows the scope of whatever language they're defending.

So........ any recommendations/advice/resources/whatever? And why do people have such a distaste for JavaScript? It seems to be the language best suited for client-side interactivity. Hell, web browsers have support built right in. <p><div style="text-align:center"></div></p>

[PriamNevhausten]

I would say mostly because it has been used in the past more than other languages to facilitate evil deeds.

Also, that is the only thing I have to contribute to this thread. <p><span style="font-size:xx-small;">"It's in the air, in the headlines in the newspapers, in the blurry images on television. It is a secret you have yet to grasp, although the first syllable has been spoken in a dream you cannot quite recall." --Unknown Armies</span></p>

[Zemyla]

Being the resident programmer, I shall help you!

Perl - This language is the hardest to describe, but it's absolutely exceptional for small tasks and for text processing. However, some people deride it as being unstructured and inelegant. I say to them, "Pah!", mainly because it's fun to say.

Python - I haven't used this language much, but the best analogy I can give is that it's like Pascal, except without the suck.

Javascript - While this language may have its flaws, it's still the only standard language for client-side web programming. It's what is used in AJAX, the technique that lets you update data on web pages without refreshing them (example: Gmail).

PHP - This language is one that is most used for making dynamic web pages. It runs on the server and is important mostly because many hosts offer PHP scripting with their services.

SQL - This language occupies a different space than the rest of the languages discussed. It's used solely for extracting data from databases. You don't need it yet. :P

If you want to get started in programming, I would recommend that you learn a structured but flexible language like Python or C++, and then learn a few more languages to refine your skills (the saying about learning a new language teaching you about your old ones is also true for computer languages). <p>-----
Do not taunt Happy Fun Zemyla.

<span style="font-size:xx-small;">I think boobs are the lesser of two evils. - Inverse (Pervy)
Dammit, Dan, I'm not dating a damn NPC! - OOC Will (Will Baseton)
Of course! Anything worth doing is worth doing completely wrong! - Travis English
Ultimately, wizards and clerics don't say, "Gee, I want to become a lich because weapons hurt less and I don't have to worry about being backstabbed; that whole 'eternal life' thing is just a fringe benefit."-Darklion
But this one time I killed a walrus with my bare hands, and I suddenly understood spherical coordinates. - KnightsofSquare
Also, when you've worked a 36-hour shift as an intern you too just might pour yourself a catful of coffee and sit down to cuddle with your travel mug. -eirehound
</span>

Adventurers! | RPG World World | d20 Optimization Boards</p>

[BrainWalker]

I knew I could count on Zem.

But as a man who only sort of likes programming, I am hesitant to learn a language that I probably won't use regularly simply as a means of facilitating...

Oh, what the fuck. Gotta start somewhere. <p><div style="text-align:center"></div></p>

[Capntastic]

Zem should teach us some basic stuffs.

[Zemyla]

The thing is, you can actually use Python. Lots of websites and applications (including the original implementation of BitTorrent) are written in Python. <p>-----
Do not taunt Happy Fun Zemyla.

<span style="font-size:xx-small;">I think boobs are the lesser of two evils. - Inverse (Pervy)
Dammit, Dan, I'm not dating a damn NPC! - OOC Will (Will Baseton)
Of course! Anything worth doing is worth doing completely wrong! - Travis English
Ultimately, wizards and clerics don't say, "Gee, I want to become a lich because weapons hurt less and I don't have to worry about being backstabbed; that whole 'eternal life' thing is just a fringe benefit."-Darklion
But this one time I killed a walrus with my bare hands, and I suddenly understood spherical coordinates. - KnightsofSquare
Also, when you've worked a 36-hour shift as an intern you too just might pour yourself a catful of coffee and sit down to cuddle with your travel mug. -eirehound
</span>

Adventurers! | RPG World World | d20 Optimization Boards</p>

[BrainWalker]

So, I finally accomplished something. It's not much, but from humble beginnings come... umm...

Well, we'll see if anything actually comes from this. <p><div style="text-align:center"></div></p>

[E Mouse]

Not bad. Does it just toggle between forest green/blue or is it supposed to randomize color and I was given the finger by the RNG? <p>

---

<span style="font-size:xx-small;">"Their rhetoric... You didn't put communists in his bed did you!" came Amber's indignant reply.

"Why not? All I had to do was open a gate to his bed and stick up a sign saying 'Hot virgin willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in the name of international socialist fraternity.'"</span>

<span style="color:blue;font-size:xx-small;">Excaliburned:</span> <span style="font-size:xx-small;">Ah yes, I'm thinking of having the USS Bob be preserved outside the Arena as a monument of sorts</span></p>

[BrainWalker]

I don't have the skills to whip out an RNG, so it's just blue and green. <p><div style="text-align:center"></div></p>

[Spleen]

BW cannot pay the bills. <p>-_-___-___-___-_-

"I do think genuine possibilities exist in the idea of re-releasing films that flopped earlier this year, but with snakes this time. 'Snakes on the Poseidon.' 'Snakes in a Lake House.' 'Ask the Dust, and Mind the Snakes.'
-Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune movie critic

Arch mage144: Spleen doesn't bother with penis size contests; instead, he goes straight to penis number.</p>

[BrainWalker]

Not with programming, anyway. <p><div style="text-align:center"></div></p>