RPGWW

by **Lord McBastard** » Sun Nov 10, 2002 4:09 am

"So things were like this. It was just the four of us, out in some forsaken dimension, hunting down a rogue Dragon God going by the name of Horidanu the Flame. He had been spreading a little too far for his own good, muscling into other peoples territory, seemed he thought he was hot enough push in. Now let me tell you that's not to bright, thinking and knowing are two different things.

Horidanu hadn't moved in on my space, but one of the Heavens had called me in to be some extra muscle. Now normally I don't deal to much with those divine folks, to stuck into there ways about being holy, righteous, and blah blah blah. But for twenty Rovichs of Soridium I'll work for just about anyone.

What? Yeah yeah I know, but this is much earlier than when the Korovs established trade. Before your time? How old did you say you were? Oiye, you may be a little to young for this story. Gramps? Listen kid I was God Hunting way before you were hatched.

Now as I was saying.

There was me an angel named Corona. Now she was a looker, let me tell you, wings like gauze, you would swear they weren't there if it weren't for the slight shimmer they left when she flicked them ever so slightly. She had all the right curves in all the right places. And her carapace, let me tell you it was probably the finest I hve ever layed eyes on, a rosey purple, red tinged, and her markings? Electric blue. It made you want to get down on your knees and thank creation that you were a male.

Then there was Squeeeeeeeeeeecrraaaaaaang-Chuuuugooooooosh, an Infernal from a factory dimension, but we just called him Crank, for simplicity ya see. Now the liked of Crank I'd never seen, and I haven't till this day. He was big, and I don't mean big, I mean BIG! Five meters tall, if I'd have to guess I'd say about twenty tonnes, and let me tell you, he was an ugly son of a bitch. With his motled grey skin it was hard to tell where he ended and his augmentations began. Now I'm not sure what factory Dimension he was from, but every bit of tech he had was mechanical. No circuits, chips, silicone, not even a scrap of plastic or a bloody vacuum tube. It was all iron and steam. But let me tell you, some of his tech was so cutting edge I don't even think I could come up with an equal using everything modern, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Rounding us out was Safety Hazard, yeah yeah I know it ain't much of a name, but that's it's natural sound, in his tounge it means something like "God Fist of the Eternal Midnight". But if that doesn't impress you then how about this. Sander hired him on when he was going against the Ixiiono and when he stole Voroid from the Heart. Yeah I know the Hearts dead. Yeah I know some little god from a pisant back dimension killed him. Kid, I know all about what happened to the Heart of the Dark, so shut it alright?

Where was I? Safety, right. Now he was probably the best spell slinger I've ever seen. Which is why Sander hired him I guess. Not much for combat, but for just about anyhting else, he was ace. Held off a V'vor'iac for a century with all his razzle dazzle. But that's not important. Let's just say he was one of the best out there, and leave it at that, kay?

Anyhow, we were in a dimension I think called Clesh, one hot spot in, one hotspot out, and we had that bricked up thick enough to stop a Yov. Of course that meant we couldn't call in back up on our own, so we were stuck with what we had, and Clesh was short on mana so nothing big and fancy, but enough to run our devices and for Safety to do his thing, of course Corona was imbued with all of her power so no problems there, and Crank was all mechanical, though I'd swear he used magic a bit though it never appeared that way. The only person that was screwed, was me. I couldn't draw through the gate and with my magic skills being drasticly lacking I couldn't cobble together enough power to fire up anyhting worth anything.

Yeah yeah. Now I imbue myself like the Angels, look I don't like 'em but they can't do everything wrong. Look kid gonna let me keep telling my tale or what?

Like I said, no outside power, no magic. I did still have all my natural stuff, strength, speed, psychics, and all my little toys. But compared to the rest of the team, I was drastically under powered, Crank outgunned me, Corona overpowered me, and Safe out classed me. But I had somethign they didn't......

Moxy!? MOXY!? No kid! I had brains! Moxy? What the hell are you thinking kid? Naw, sit down, sit down. Ya just touched a nerve kid. I'm sorry. Alright? Good.

See now as I was saying. We were moving in across this desert of slag. I wasn't? Well, we were. Crank had these little things that were buzzing around feeding him info about the surroundings, no bigger than gnats, I don't know how he made anything so small with iron, but he did. Saftey was masking our aura with whatever it was he uses. Not that I thought anyone would be able to come up with a finder spell with next to no mana. Naive kid, I was naive, and it nearly killed everyone.

Next thing we knew it was dark. Now there were seven suns out on Clesh and then suddenly everything went dark? Yeah, of course something was up! Not to bright are you? Well anyway turns out Horidanu was female and had herself a brood of little ones. Well, they weren't so little actually pretty damned big. Remeber when I said Crank was BIG. Well these were real BIG. A good two hundred feet long varying colours, one was gold, one was green, and the third was....I don't remeber cause I only saw it for a second.

Now I thought I was hotstuff but when I sat there stunned from seeing three bigass Dragons eclipse seven suns, Crank had already let off a missle. Well, not so much a missle as a Mini-nukes.

Damage the eco-system? It was a slag pile you idiot! Who gives a damn about what happens to a slag pile? People who live there? Nothing lives there!

Shut up now kid, let me talk alright?

BOOM! Up goes one of the dragons. Shockwave knocks us flat.....well.....knocked me flat, everyone else had some kind of protection. While I'm knocked onto my ass, the other two dragons land, and they're pissed. Wouldn't you be if your brother or sister of whatever, suddenly went up in a thermo-nuclear blast? Rhetorical question kid, shut up. Corona raises up into the air and begins one of those overly long flowery chants. Of course she doesn't finish, the gold one snaps her up in one bite. Now me, I'm up on my feet charging the thing.

I thought I was in love kid okay? It was atleast lust, like I said, fewph, that was one fine looking angel let me say that. Now I jump up with this mace I brought for that exact occasion called the Dragon Rend. No kid, no. Mace like metal club, not the thing you spray in peoples eyes. Anyway, I'm just about to smash this stupid flying lizard into pulp, then I remeber that dragons breathe fire. So yeah, I get myself crispied.

Naw, wasn't to bad. The mace protected me from most of it. I didn't have eyebrows for a while, but I was alright. While I was making an ass of myself, Saftey had woven some spell around and ensnared the green one while Crank was leveling another missle at it. Just then, BANG! Corona bursts out of the gold ones chest. Oh it was disgusting! Guts everywhere! Did you know dragons bleed red? Well this was like a river of the stuff! Stained the ground and formed pools in the depressions.

Yuck!

Next thing I know, she's all over the green one! Now Crank holds his fire, no good geeking an ally, especially one from the people that funded this little job. But against that dragon, she was a wild woman! Her pincers were ripping pieces of flesh and scale off like a chainsaw through butter! Crank switches over to his other hand and lets loose with some kinda steam machine gun, tears the dragons leg off, it falls over squeeling like a stuck pig. They ain't so noble and majestic when they're writhing in pool of blood let me tell you. So yeah, Crank blows the things head off with some kinda explosive, I dunno, kinda a blur.

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Well now, I have no idea how to end this. I'll probably come back to it later. Maybe tomorrow. Not that anyones going to read it anyhow *shrug*. <p><div style="text-align:center">

Little-known Fact #839: There are only twenty-three people alive today, and you're one of them; everyone else you know just looks human to lull you into not searching for the other twenty-two. Lonely? You should be.</div></p>

by **Nekogami** » Fri Nov 15, 2002 10:29 pm

Nicely done, Brandon. It definantely has the baroom feel. I like how the speaker makes not that he was interrupted by others. A few typos here and there but mechanics are always a bitch.
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Words to live by:
OMG PRIAM: ninja sex would be neither felt nor seen by either partner
OMG PRIAM: each would just suddenly need a smoke</p>

by **Nick Shogun** » Sun Nov 17, 2002 12:30 am

Very nice. I like your descriptions. Corona sounds super hott, and Crank sounds badass armed-to-the-teeth. Finsih, scoundrel!

by **SALSAlys** » Tue Nov 19, 2002 10:24 am

*snicker*

Nice feel!

And... WOOOOT! for interrupting audience!

by **Uncle Pervy** » Tue Nov 19, 2002 12:10 pm

DEAR LORD MCBASTARD, PRINCESS OF RPGWW

I LIKE THE WAY YOU TELL THIS STORY.

THE INTERRUPTING AUDIENCE IS A GOOD TOUCH.

IT FEELS LIKE WHEN I HAVE CAPTAIN PERVY TELLING TALES OF SOME OF HIS OLD EXPLOITS AT SEA IN A CI.

HOWEVER, THE STORY ITSELF IS NOT ALL THAT INTERESTING. NEEDS A TWIST OF SOME KIND. FEEL FREE TO IM ME IF YOU WANT HELP COMING UP WITH ONE.

<3,
PERVY.
<p>

Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits. That's th' life fer me.

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