The King's Quest

[KingOfDoma]

I FOUND IT!

JOY TO THE WORLD, I FOUND IT!

For all those who hadn't seen it, this is my fic, which I wrote over a year ago while on Choir Minitour.

*tears of joy* Now the only fanfiction I have accredited to my name WON'T be Snow Jinx and the Seven Tentacle Monsters...

... though that was very fun to write... ^_^

Anyhoo, HERE IT IS! Enjoy, peeps!

<EDIT> Note... when I wrote this, the King was dating Rydia. Thank you. </EDIT>

Edited by: KingOfDoma at: 9/19/02 4:33:24 pm

[Uncle Pervy]

Hmmm...

This is a tough one to comment upon.

Let me ask some questions.

First, what was the purpose of the Starmoss Bit? It could have been skipped and not affected the story at all.

Second, Why did the Esper wait so long to challenge the King? Given that is was more or less a duel of Honor, why be so roundabout with it?

Overall, it wasn't a bad tale. Iliked the characterization of the merchant; although he didn't add a great deal to the tale.

The last part did drag on on a bit with the endless fighting, though. <p><table align="center" cellpadding=2><tr><td></td><td align="center">Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!</td><td></tr></table></p>

[pd Rydia]

*bumpity*

Aherm. Lessee. You know, everytime I read the word "minitour," I think I see "minotaur"...

Anyway. Commentary.<ul><small>(1) The thing about the mushboom spores seems kinda...tasteless. =\ It did when I first read it, and it still does now. I might just be touchy, however.
(2) [second installment] "They were the finest blades he had ever set his eyes on. They seemed to be made in the finest of forges, and composed of the finest materials." little redundancy goin' there...
(3) Actually, you could stand to give the fic a once-over again, checking particularly for redundancy and diction. There's quite a few places where you could improve upon your word choice to add more detail.
(4) OMG GreatDave posted?! =O?! Err, that's not really a comment on your fic...then again it kinda is, he doesn't post much.
(5) ={{{ I like the fic WITHOUT Empress Rydia in it. Bad Cha for mixing spam and serious. *chews* Though I do know she's not explicitly in it, which is good...
(6) The Veldt might actually be accurately called The Forbidden Plains and still fit in with the rest of Gaera. *sidenote*
(7) FREEZE-AGA! Err, sorry. Now, that Freeze Two bit is kinda funky. =P Not very intimidating-like.
(8) I found no problem with the starmoss bit. It was kinda odd though. Like it could be a separate fic altogether.
(9) Gotta agree with bro about all the fighting. Then again, I'm not much of a fight person.
(10) Nice resolution. I likies. ^_^</small></ul>And, OMG I finally got off my lazy ass and read the last installment?! ^_^;; Overall nice fic, though it kinda doesn't fit in too well with Gaera proper anymore. Maybe you could revive this, take the basics of it and rewrite it so that it fits better? It's worthy of that methinks. <p><div style="text-align:center">

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"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...an F.N.W.C.!"
-- VampireJesterJinx (VA by...Dia! :D!)</div></p>