new character: feedback welcome

Character sheet archiving. Help with characters can be solicited here. This is also the place to talk Philsys or other RPing systems.
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pd Rydia
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new character: feedback welcome

Unread postby pd Rydia » Mon Oct 20, 2003 10:05 pm

Note I'm posting this up for Soju, hence why he's listed under the RPer name.

____


Name: Xavier Galanodel
RPer: PopoSujo
Race: Human
Age: 17
Height: 5'8
Eye color: Grey
Hair color: Blond

Background:

Xavier didn't know much of his past. The only thing he knew is that
he was raised by an old man named Elgyol in a small cottage in the
middle of a vast wood. Elgyol raised him and cared for him, and Xavier
loved being with him.

Xavier could, since he remembers, talk to the animals of the forest, as
could Elgyol. Asking a rabbit how it was doing or singing songs with a
sparrow were normal everyday occurrences for the boy.

When Xavier turned 13, Elgyol told him that he had a gift for him.
This surprised Xavier, because usually on his birthdays they would just
go out into the woods somewhere and have a big lunch. Elgyol got their
packs ready, and they began to travel. For four days straight they
walked, before finally leaving the woods and going into a city.

Xavier was amazed. The sights and sounds and smells were all new to
him. Elgyol explained as they walked around that this is where Xavier
was from, and that his parents had brought him to Elgyol to raise him
because they couldn't. Xavier didn't really care much, because he
couldn't even remember his parents. That day was wonderful, and Elgyol
showed Xavier all around the city.

They traveled back to the forest that night. When they got back to the
cottage, they found that it bad been broken into. Nothing of value was
in the cottage, so it didn't matter, but Elgyol was furious. He raised
his hand at the walls that had been slashed and the door that had come
off the hinges, and suddenly it was fixed.

Xavier didn't ask anything about it, but after that point, Elgyol began
doing odd things with him. He emphasized how Xavier should always do
the right thing, no matter what, and how he should resort to force only
if necessary. He began making Xavier meditate and learn about the
different parts of life, like water, fire, the earth, and the air.

On Xavier's 15th birthday, Elgyol presented him with a staff. It was
metal, Xavier new, but it was very hard and very light at the same
time. Runes in a silver script went up and down it, and it was tipped
with a multi-colored crystal: red, blue, green, and yellow seemed to
shift and phase in and out of it. The crystal, Elgyol
explained, represented the elements, and these he would teach Xavier
about.

Thus the training began. Xavier would meditate for hours at a
time, and slowly his aptitude for elemental magic increased. He was
also taught how to fight with the staff, but only in a defensive
manner, with strikes focusing on incapacitating or disarming his
opponents.

By the time Xavier was 17 he had completed his training. Elgyol
praised his student's abilities and character; he had become very good
at both magic and the staff forms, and was very chivalrous.

Then the men came. A band of seven scruffy men came into the clearing
of the cottage one day while Xavier and his mentor were meditating.
Both immediately felt their presence and stood to face them. The men
asked about a staff with a multi-colored crystal in the top of it they
had been paid to find. Elgyol told them he and his "son" were just
simple woodsmen and didn't know anything about that. Xavier kept
quiet.

The men went by the Xavier and Elgyol and broke into the house. Elgyol
passively watched, but Xavier grew nervous because he had left the
staff beside his cot. The men came back out with hands empty, insulted
the two of them for a bit, and left.

"Master, why did they not see the staff?" Xavier asked. "It was
laying out in the open, I know it was." Elgyol told him that he had made the men's
eyes move over the staff, and then went into the house. He brought out
the staff, Xavier's pack, and a green cloak.

"Xavier, people are after this. This staff has abilities that certain
people want to, and must never get, their hands on. You are a fine
young man and a talented Elementalist. Go to the city, my boy. There
you will find answers." Xavier had always listened with perfect
obedience to his master, so with many questions left unanswered, he set
out on his journey. <p>
<small><center><font color=navy>Take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
And when we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in</font>

{RPGWW -- an RPing community} -- {Rydia's Pocket Dragon Encyclopedia} -- {Fantasy Dragon Oekaki}</small></center></p>

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pd Rydia
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Re: new character: feedback welcome

Unread postby pd Rydia » Mon Oct 20, 2003 10:11 pm

"Xavier new" -- should be 'Xavier knew'

That's the only problem I see in the whole sheet. Being an elementalist, I assume you mean he's skilled in four of the basic elements of magic (there are six in Gaera: air/lightning, water/ice, fire, earth, shadow, and light), is pushing it slightly but within bounds, so long as he's not a master at all of them. <p>
<small><center><font color=navy>Take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
And when we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in</font>

{RPGWW -- an RPing community} -- {Rydia's Pocket Dragon Encyclopedia} -- {Fantasy Dragon Oekaki}</small></center></p>

PopoSujo
 

Re: new character: feedback welcome

Unread postby PopoSujo » Mon Oct 20, 2003 10:26 pm

Damn typo! And I read it four times.

No, he isn't a master. The only ones he has any power over are fire, water, air, and earth. Shadow and light he doesn't touch on. <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Media is an organization in the same sense that Ohio is a team. -PriamNevhausten</p>

Uncle Pervy
 

Re: new character: feedback welcome

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Mon Oct 20, 2003 10:29 pm

Not too bad.

Might I ask what can he do with these elements? <p>------------------
Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.
</p>

Banjooie
 
Posts: 900
Joined: Fri May 31, 2002 11:20 pm

.

Unread postby Banjooie » Mon Oct 20, 2003 10:49 pm

Just remember not to be too harsh, Pervy. Recall that I haven't even begun to decide what the hell the Neo Vanist limits are.


...In the area of their own element, that is.



FlamingDeth
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Re: .

Unread postby FlamingDeth » Tue Oct 21, 2003 4:03 am

<blockquote style="padding-left:0.5em; margin-left:0; margin-right:0; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0; border-left:solid 2">Just remember not to be too harsh, Pervy.[/quote]

Who are you and what did you do with Jooie?


EDITAROONIE: Also, not too bad of a character. <p>
I am an <s>arrogant</s> elitist bastard.

And now, since I want to be unique like everybody else, quotes:
"People don't seem to realize, it wasn't a powerful ass poke. It was a powerful poke, to the ass!" ~ Lord McBastard
"So what you're saying is that Nintendo and Sony are in league with each other, and possibly the Red Skull?" ~ EKDS5K
</p>Edited by: FlamingDeth at: 10/21/03 4:06 am

JoshuaDurron
 

Re: .

Unread postby JoshuaDurron » Tue Oct 21, 2003 11:22 am

I likies, even if I find the whole elementalist school of magic to be a bit over done. <p>

"Strenghten your lyre and sing
The hymn of death
The sky opens to us
They fly to the ray"

-Cante per me, Kajiura Yuki</p>

PopoSujo
 

Re: .

Unread postby PopoSujo » Tue Oct 21, 2003 12:12 pm

Well, when I was writing, I found myself a bit on the uncreative side and altered the past of an old RP character I used to have.

He can control them, to a certain extent. I wish I had the philsys sheet I sent ArchMage, because I explained it very well there.

Xavier cannot create elements. He might be able to direct a bonfire, but he can't spontaneously create a flame the size of a pea; he works with what is already there. If there were a body of water near him, he could pull water out of that and use it. Air and Earth are obviously the most used because they're pretty much everywhere, while Fire and Water/Ice aren't quite as common. Once more, he can't create elements, only control them.

I need some feedback on the staff as well. To a limited extent it helps him channel his abilities, but the more he finds out about it the more powerful it becomes. I was hoping whoever I RPed with could work this into their story somehow. Any help there? <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Media is an organization in the same sense that Ohio is a team. -PriamNevhausten</p>

JoshuaDurron
 

Re: .

Unread postby JoshuaDurron » Tue Oct 21, 2003 12:31 pm

::nods:: Sounds interesting. If you show up in chat sometime, or wanna talk about it over IMs, I'd be happy to swap ideas with you. I think at least one of my mage characters would be interested in meeting him. If you wanna reach me, I run under 'Shadowfist Q' on the AIM network. <p>

"Strenghten your lyre and sing
The hymn of death
The sky opens to us
They fly to the ray"

-Cante per me, Kajiura Yuki</p>

PopoSujo
 

Re: .

Unread postby PopoSujo » Tue Oct 21, 2003 12:49 pm

I most certainly would.

AIM: PopoSujo45
Yahoo: PopoSujo45
MSN: poposujo45@hotmail.com
ICQ: 285674368 <p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Media is an organization in the same sense that Ohio is a team. -PriamNevhausten</p>

Uncle Pervy
 

Re: .

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Fri Oct 24, 2003 12:46 am

Okay.

I'm going to say that seeing as you get a lot of uses out of just one skill... Elemental magic is going to be hella weak. In most cases, he has air and earth right there, so that's two magicks for the price of one.

My suggestion is that you drop Elemental Magic and have him learn magic directly from the main four. Costly? Yes. But you don't have too put too many ranks in them to get a purely manipulative effect. Otherwise, you have something that's just too much, I think. <p>------------------
Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.
</p>

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Spleen
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Re: .

Unread postby Spleen » Sat Oct 25, 2003 5:15 pm

Yeah, "Elemental" is quite broad. Perhaps instead of four ranks of Elemental magic, you take one each of fire, water, earth, and air? <p>"Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to being a Republican. Being a Republican leads to being super-rich, or a poor, confused angry red-neck."
-Kram, Iconoclast.

"I heard that he enjoys the company of tentacled monsters." -Fray (referring to Vaniyakna)</p>

Unknown
 

Unknown

Unread postby Unknown » Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:43 am

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