RPGWW

by **pd Rydia** » Thu Jan 09, 2003 5:16 pm

(OOC: This is an odd little idea that Amanda inspired. We decided it's best to make it a spammy RP (i.e. one that doesn't affect mainstream Gaera or any other world at all), though it could have gone into OOC or fanfiction too.

What this is is a chance to explore your characters through an interview with Timmy the Bonsai Tree. I give permission for others to borrow Timmy for writing purposes...I don't think he's that hard to RP. :P You can interview any character from anywhere and, for the sake of contrivance, all characters can understand him. I do ask that you please don't destroy Timmy, the stage, the audience, or anything else.

Also, please "set the stage" up for a new RPer when you finish. You may participate in this more than once, but please do only one character at a time, and let at least one person have a turn after you go.

And lastly, have fun!)

---

Pan over a small, cheering and hooting audience. Swivel around to show a clean wooden stage. In the center of the stage is a group of chairs...the lights over the stage turn on, revealing a miniature pine tree sitting in the middle of one of the chairs. It sits in a small clay pot with simple decorations.

A door on the side of the stage opens, revealing a young nekojin. Her fur is pitch black, her eyes a sharp green, her clothes are light and colorful. Her left forearm arm is veritably covered in bracelets from wrist to elbow; a single armband, decorated with filigree dragons with sparkling amethyst eyes, graces her upper arm.

This young girl bounces across the stage, taking a seat across from the bonsai tree. Grinning, she greets the tree cheerfully, calling it Timmy.

---

Migi: I'mjustsohappytoappearonyourshow,Timmy! Wow, I'm so excited, I could run all across Nekonia from one side to the other!

Timmy: ...

Migi: *laughs* You're so funny, Timmy! I'm not REALLY going to do that! Did you really think so?

Timmy: ...

Migi: Yeah, that's right. =^_^= This IS an interview, after all!

Timmy: ...

Migi: Well, my name is Migi Kuro, and my Daddy is a successful merchant of the capital of Nekonia, and my Mommy helps him out. I have one brother, Hidari. I love my family soooo much, especially my brother!

Timmy: ...

Migi: Well, you see, Hidari is my twin, but he looks nothing like me anymore! *laughs* He kinda got turned into an inujin, and some meanie cut off his tail, but he's still black-furred and green-eyed like me! Although he kinda smells now, especially in the rain.

Timmy: ...

Migi: Yeah, well, Nekonia and Inustan don't get along well so my parents were worried about Hidari coming home and...kindawouldn'tlethim.

Timmy: ...

Migi: Yeah, it IS mean. They're being REALLY silly to be honest. But since Hidari can't come home, and Nekonia isn't too safe for inujin right now, we spend our time travelling around Igala together! =^_^= Brother and sister adventurers!

Timmy: ...

Migi: One of our adventures? Well, there was the time Hidari lost his sword and we had to find it again...and then the time in the forest where we ran into a fey...OH! And the time I met Mr. Bracelet, but Hidari wasn't there.

Timmy: ...

Migi: Mr. Bracelet? He was this nice person but he didn't speak any Common or Nekonian or Inustani and I couldn't pronounce his name so I called him Mr. Bracelet cuz I gave him one of my bracelets.

Timmy: ...

Migi: *giggles* I'm not gonna pass out! You're so silly, Timmy!

Timmy: ...

Migi: Well, now I'm gonna go back to the same old, same old. =^_^= Travelling around with my brother, doing sword dances at inns, dancing and stuff!

Timmy: ...

Migi: Yeah, I hear that Baron's really pretty, too! I want to go out and see it sometime, but Hidari likes eastern Igala. I kinda wanna go west, though...Doma's really nice, but it's getting kinda boooring. Riva's kinda icky. I hear they HUNT dragons there. I can't get to Valth, I've been to Inustan and Kalshana ALL the time. I want new and exciting places to go to!

Timmy: ...

Migi: Oh no, thank YOU! I'm honored to be here! Thanks so much for having me, Timmy!

Timmy: ...

Migi: Oh wait! *takes off one of her bracelets --one made from brightly and seemingly randomly colored glass beads-- and drapes it on one of Timmy's branches* A gift! =^_^=

Timmy: ...

Migi: It's no problem! You look so pretty!

Timmy: ...

Migi: Okies! *bounces up and bows formally, but swiftly, to Timmy* It was a pleasure! Bye bye now! Sayonara!

---

Migi bounces off stage. There is a pause during which the stage goes dark. When the lights come back on again, Timmy somehow has the bracelet around his trunk. The seat in front of him is awaiting the next guest.

Edited by: pd Rydia

at: 1/9/03 8:07:59 pm

by **Endesu** » Thu Jan 09, 2003 9:01 pm

(Why not..)

Shortly after, the same door opens, and a man dressed in a rich red cloak steps out, bearing no recognizable features other then a pair of dim red eyes. His cloak is decorated with a few runic symbols and a half-crescent, which is also detailed on his undergarment. He casts a hostile glance at the audience as he calmly paces across the stage, ultimately taking a seat before Timmy, and remaining silent for several moments before speaking.

---

Astrynax: ..

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: ....

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: .. is that all?

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: Really, are you typically in this manner?

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: ... why are you looking at me like that?

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: ... stop badgering me! I am Astrynax. Black Mage of some note. I once attempted to destroy the world, but was ressurected some time later and am now an ally to a band of idiots.

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: What? What more do you want me to say?

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: ... fine.. fine.. some may accuse me of having a superiority complex, but that is only because they are powerless. They cannot begin to comprehend.

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: Why do you mock me so? What have I ever done to you, you little bastard?!

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: No, I have not been to Hell.

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: Yes, I have been on a series of wacky adventures. I refuse to describe anything with the word 'wacky' in it, however.

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: Oh, the half-crescent? Yes, this is the symbol of my extinct Black Mage clan. It resembles that which cannot be changed, holding strong against the torrent of destiny, yet provides enough light to guide us to...

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: .... *sigh* So pervasive. My allies are End Reshiki, whom I am destined to at the very least destroy. There is also the angel Enlil, who is the only reason I have not destroyed the Moogle as of yet. >_> Then there is Kelne, arguably more intelligent then some, who somehow is in the command of an army of impossibly stupid minions, and has more paranoia then I have murderous intentions. Sorune is the Druid, and is as such weak in my eyes, and then there is Kyle, who is.. well, a swordsman with a magic bird. Not much I can say on that, beyond the fact that he is a blundering idiot... oh, and James. Some man of machine. Very odd.

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: No, we do not have group hugs.

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: .. that's none of your business.

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: I wander the forests and wastelands, but I tend to stop in Doma ever now and then, if only to plan an attack against whatever evil deity is planning to roast the local Chocobo crop, or some piddle like that.

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: You know, I have had enough of your pressing questions. I will ask YOU something, Mister. How is it that you manage to be so green?

Timmy: ...

Astrynax: Playing this game, are you? Talk, or else!

Timmy: ...

---

Astrynax holds up a single hand and covers the Tree in a burst of ice, freezing random parts of it. The bracelet is somewhat frozen to the tree, as well.

Astrynax walks off stage, cursing. Lights go out.
The lights come back on the empty seat in front of Timmy..

by **Squintz Altec** » Thu Jan 09, 2003 9:31 pm

A man tiptoes out onto the stage. He wears a green cape, and some bare armour. He also wields a pretty ornate sword, which is strapped on a belt. Holding his OTHER ornate sword, he takes a seat, and brushes his orange hair.

----

Timmy: ...

Squintz: Squintz Altec, Paladin of Mithra, Lieutenent of the Doman Guard.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: No, I don't think that's a lot of titles. Have you ever met Hakaril? He's got a lot of titles.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: Oh. I'm sorry.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: Oh, well, it's not too bad. You know, uphold Justice, defeat evil demons.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: Justice.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: ...

Timmy: ...

Squintz: Oh, this one? Well, I forged this myself. It has a minor sharpening enhancement, as well as a gemstone that I was told is good for focusing through. Well, I haven't gotten it to work YET...but you know.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: No, I'm not a priest.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: Yes, I'm Holy in nature, but I'm not a priest.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: I will not do weddings.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: Not even for that much gil. I have enough.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: Why are you so hung up on this priest thing? A Paladin is a fighter for Justice, a priest usually is a little more adverse to combat.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: Well, I killed a couple of demons. Only a few.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: ...a bit. Well, you know. But I don't like to gloat.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: OKAY, I DO! I LIKE KILLING EVIL, OKAY?

Timmy: ...

Squintz: Yes, I smite it too. Kill, smite, same difference.

Timmy: ...

Squintz: Yes...it was nice meeting you.

---

Squintz raises his hand to shake Timmy's, but realizes that Timmy is a tree. He gets up, confused, and walks off stage.

by **Archmage144** » Thu Jan 09, 2003 9:42 pm

A figure dressed in a simple, dark green traveler's cloak with a hood, brownish leather boots, and a simple clasp made from carved willow walks on stage, lowering his hood to reveal fairly short, dirty blonde hair and pointed ears identifying him as an elf. He looks down at the tiny tree, scrutinizing it momentarily before speaking.

------

Fenn: My name is Fenn Foxfire, Druid of Tunare. Who are you?

Timmy: ...

Fenn: You are a very quiet tree.

Timmy: ...

Fenn: If you would please respond to me, tiny brother, I would be forever in your debt.

Timmy: ...

Fenn: I have never before in all of my travels met a tree overcome with shyness. Are you shy? Or merely uninterested in pursuing a conversation?

Timmy: ...

Fenn: Have you nothing to say to me? I find your silence most unsettling.

Timmy: ...TIMMEH!

Fenn: ...

------

Fenn walks off stage, not entirely satisfied with his "enlightening" experience...

by **Uncle Pervy** » Thu Jan 09, 2003 11:22 pm

*A man wearing a blue kimono walks in, a wooden-handled Katana at his side. His hair and eyes are brown, and a look of intelligence is about his face. An emerald-set pendant can be seen poking out of the top of his kimono, seemingly hidden in haste*

Zachary: Hello there. My name is Zachary of Evringshal.

Timmy:...

Zachary: It is too my real name! Why would I lie?

Timmy:...

Zachary: How did you know that?

Timmy:...

Zachary: Fine, how much do you want?

Timmy:...

Zachary: Okay, I'll tell you. I'm actually Zachary Elwin Evringshal, the King of Evringshal

Timmy:...

Zachary: Well, it's an isolated country, I suppose. North of Valth, on the other side of the Shuman Mountains.

Timmy:...

Zachary: It is rather small, only the third of Valth's Size.

Timmy:...

Zachary: Why am I dressed like this? Well, I want to be a kensai someday.

Timmy:...

Zachary: No, we don't have them in Evringshal. Kensai are Nekonian Swordmasters. They also exist in Argovia, too.

Timmy:...

Zachary: Actually, I find both cultures very fascinating.

Timmy:...

Zachary: I am not a wannabe!

Timmy:...

Zachary: Am not!

Timmy:...

Zachary: Fine, be that way.

Timmy:...

Zachary: Yes, her name is Cincare.

Timmy:...

Zachary: Well, I fell for her when I first laid eyes on her.

Timmy:...

Zachary: That's a cold thing to say. I'm a King! If that's all I wanted, I could just wait for some princess to throw herself at me for political reasons!

Timmy:...

Zachary: Well, the Chancellor is just going to have to get used to it.

Timmy:...

Zachary: Oh! Sure! *Gets a watering can from near the seat and waters Timmy*

Timmy:...

Zachary: It wasn't any trouble.

Timmy:...

Zachary: Now what Cincare and I do is none of your business. But if you must know, she and I are going to view some fine art that recently came in from The Mount.

Timmy:...

Zachary: I am not a wannabe! But I am leaving.

*Zachary storms off*

by **Banjooie** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 1:46 am

Diran: ..So, yeah, I'm Diran Ilsvire. Second Class Thunder Mage of Neo Vane.

Timmy: ...

Diran: Uh...yeah. We all do that.

Timmy: ...

Diran: Why do you grow leaves?

Timmy: ...

Diran: Yeah. That's what I thought.

Timmy: ...

Diran: ...Well, it made sense at the time!

Timmy: ...

Diran: Well, YOU try convincing 500 people that bureaucracy is the cause of all their problems.

Timmy: ...

Diran: Who the #$@(% is Denis Miller?

Timmy: ...

Diran: Anyway, yeah, I nearly caused a war with Riva because of my own desires for revenge.

Timmy: ...

Diran: Yes, trees probably would have cut down.

Timmy: ...

Diran: ...Yes, I bloody well feel guilty about it. Stop staring at me like that.

Timmy: ...

Diran: Y'know what lightning does to trees?! DO YOU!?

Timmy: ...

Diran: Good point. o.o

Timmy: ...

Diran: ...Let's not go into Zak.

Timmy: ...

Diran: Dangit, that's a part of Neo Vane Tradition.

Timmy: ...

Diran: I can't imagine you can come up with much better.

Timmy: ...

Diran: ...Touche.

Timmy: ...

Diran: ...Hey. You don't even have a mouth. You can't judge the goodness that is Neo Vane Pie.

Timmy: ...

Diran: Well, what else would you expect a school of wizards to guard most?

Timmy: ...

Diran: But we always teach those to the students anyway, so it's not much of a secret, is it now?

Timmy: ...

Diran: ..Death is kinda like being in water, only less wet and more floaty.

Timmy: ...

Diran: Yeah, I guess it's like a really long winter spent floating that isn't particularly cold.

Timmy: ...

Diran: You're not really good with the metaphors, are you?

Timmy: ...

Diran: So I see. Y'know what? I'm gonna stop talking to a tree now.

And so, thusly, did Diran leave the place of the tree.

by **ArgusDevilmen** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 1:46 am

( Heh, this could be good. )

A man wearing a blue, gold lined Priest robe walks over towards Timmy. His eyes are red with slits and his hair is long and brown. He slowly sits down in the chair smiling.

Argus: Hello Timmy! Im Argus Devilmen! ^_^

Timmy: ...

Argus: What? Well yeah I am half-demon.

Timmy: ...

Argus: Um... it lets me change my skin color, hair color, grow wings and claws...

Timmy: ...

Argus: Well I hunt demons...

Timmy: ...

Argus: Yeah well I may be half, but that doesnt mean I have to like them..

Timmy: ...

Argus: WHAT? Who told you that!?

Timmy: ...

Argus: I am NOT gay damnit!

Timmy: ...

Argus: Er... The sex-changing is umm.... well a hobby?

Timmy: ...

Argus: I can wear what I want! There is no dress code!

Timmy: ...

Argus: Well maybe I DO enjoy it some, so whats your point?

Timmy: ...

Argus: ITS NOT TO GET PEOPLE TOO LOOK AT ME FOR THE LAST TIME!

Timmy: ...

Argus: Tai doesn't count.

Timmy: ...

Argus: Nor does Mid.

Timmy: ...

Argus: .......

Timmy: ...

Argus: Okay so what if I dont like cute things?

Timmy: ...

Argus: Yes I found out there is a god of them the hard way.

Timmy: ...

Argus: You try and deal with people mocking you all the time.

Timmy: ...

Argus: Yeah well I did want to become full demon I'm not sure now.

Timmy: ...

Argus: Yeah I do go somewhat berserk when I am that powerful.

Timmy: ...

Argus: Ever try absorbing alot of water at once?

Timmy: ...

Argus: Yeah its like that only alot harder.

Timmy: ...

Argus: Yes I know that.

Timmy: ...

Argus: Well I suppose so, but its a fine art......

Timmy: ...

Argus: Um I dont know how!

Timmy: ...

Argus: I um, Can't explain that...

Timmy: ...

Argus: Because I dont know anything about it myself.

Timmy: ...

Argus: Don't laugh at me damnit.

Timmy: ...

Argus: Well I never! Fine be that way!

Timmy: ...

*Argus stands up and walks off stage. The curtain lowering then raising again an empty chair by Timmy.*

by **Uncle Pervy** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 2:48 am

*A man dressed in the robes and hat of a black mage walks onstage and has a seat. Strands of bluish green hair can be seen from the shadows of his hat.*

Inverse: The name's Inverse Stanovski. And I've heard quite a bit about you Timmy.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Oh, but I have. Like the time...*Whispers something to the Bonsai*

Timmy:...

Inverse: Exactly. Now shall we be friendly, or shall I let everyone know that?

Timmy:...

Inverse: Good.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Well, I'm a Slimehalf.

Timmy:...

Inverse: You know how Dai Rai is a dragon half; as in part human and part dragon? Well take out the dragon part, insert slime, and you have me.

Timmy:...

Inverse: ...You mainlanders have nasty minds. I'll explain it one more time for everyone. My mom was a mage skilled in shapechanging magics. My dad was from a slime village she researched. Dad met Mom, and helped her with her research. And apparently he was a real charmer, because she fell in love with him.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Nasty mind, Timmy, nasty mind. Some folks chose not to worry about race. Love is all that matters to them. Bigot.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Do I have to spread your little tale across Doma

Timmy:...

Inverse: Exactly. Anyway, Mom turned Dad into a Human afterwards, and they went back to Barius, where Mom comes from, together. A little while later, I was born.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Pretty much. Dad was turned into a human, but I didn't inherit it at all. I was born a slime. I think Mom was pretty thankful at the time; though. What with having no bones and all.

Timmy:...

Inverse: I'm all about too much information, Timmy. Anyway, her magic wouldn't work on me. Nor would anyone else's. I'm pretty much immune to shapechanging, except for my own.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Yeah, I had to learn my own magic.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Well, I left Barius for a couple reasons. First, because I couldn't find a good way to stay human there, Mom's the most powerful enchantess there.

Timmy:...

Inverse: The other is because of General Vaniyakna taking over, and leading a campaign against foreigners. My Dad's a foreigner. So I'm part foreign. And a Slimehalf to boot.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Nobody likes slimes. And Slimes hate me too, for being part human.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Tell me about it.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Rumors? Well. I like to know stuff. And I got very good at learning while living in the City of Storms in Barius.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Don't try to psychoanalyze me. I got enough dirt on you to get to executed.

Timmy:...

Inverse: They'd execute a bonsai if they knew what I do.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Raina? I love her, yes. She was the first woman to learn the truth about me, and still find me attractive, rather than revolting.

Timmy:...

Inverse: No that doesn't include my mom! She's not really a viable choice for a partner, is she now? Or is that some kind of crazy tree thing I don't know about?

Timmy:...

Inverse: Damn right you're sorry.

Timmy:...

Inverse: Raina's a Succubus Half. Of course we have! She wanted to ten minutes after we met!

Timmy:...

Inverse: Have it ever worn on... when? What? Okay, that's just wrong.

Timmy:...

Inverse; No I'm not going to answer! I've got better things to do than hang around with some nasty tree! Goodbye!

*Inverse storms out.*

Edited by: Uncle Pervy 

at: 1/10/03 2:58:59 am

by **PriamNevhausten** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 3:54 am

A man in a trenchcoat steps in, his face censored by a pixelating blur, which shows only shades of red (including a dark fleshtone). He sits at the chair, completely relaxed, though still somehow prepared for anything.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: Verily, tis a pleasure to be here.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: My surname is Duprei, though I go by many 'first' names. My occupation is classified, on what you might call level 12.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: Yes, well, I suppose it must be pretty secretive if Classified levels only go to 10, mustn't it?

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: I am not authorized to give that information.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: No. Not even a little bit.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: ...

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: ...

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: Very good. I am a collector of sorts, and I have a fairly large collection of artifacts from the aeons. I have also written several books, studying warfare, dress, and culture from various time periods.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: No, I'm afraid that our viewers won't be able to find any at the library. My work is rather...sensitive.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: Actually, it is both my work and my hobby, for which I count myself fortunate.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: Indeed.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: I am aware of your statement's humorous nature.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: Call me jaded from experience.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: ...

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: Apology accepted.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: I prefer the term 'borrow.'

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: In the long term sense, the repurcussions are quite minor. I assure you, no harm is done by my actions, on the whole.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: Yes. But most humans can only sense a small portion of time, can't they?

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: I'm afraid I don't know what you mean.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: No, I do not.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: ...by my count, we are almost out of 'time' for this interview. I would shake your hand, but you seem ill-equipped to reciprocate.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: No, I had not ever considered a career in stand-up comedy.

Timmy: ...

Mr. D: ...for precisely that reason. It was a pleasure being here.

(fade to black, Mr. Duprei is gone when the show returns after a short commercial break.)

by **Choark** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 6:08 am

After some amusing advertisments we end up back to the show, where a small girl with a cute pink T-shirt with the words "Innocent" written across the chest area is sitting down and licking a red lollypop.

Timmy: ...

Jenna: That's right! Though I can't believe it took you that long to get me onto this show! I mean, I am the most important person, EVER!

Timmy: ...

Jenna: Well of course I am!

Timmy: ...

Jenna: How many half vampires do YOU know? hmm?

Timmy: ...

Jenna: Keep talking like that and I'll show you how good with fire I am!

Timmy: ... *(rather urgently)*

Jenna: Yep! I'm from the future, ten years in fact.

Timmy: ...

Jenna: Well, a few wars, a dozen plauges and quite a few crises that could cause the end of the world but no, nothing to warn people about, just some fun stuff.

Timmy: ...

Jenna: Why am I here still? Well to.. erm.. spread love and peace.

Timmy: ...

Jenna: Ovo LOVE AND PEAVE! I don't care what he said, he doesn't count, he was only human! And worse then that, he sold PANTS! *shivers* He deserved what he got!

Timmy: ...

Jenna: Of course I hate pants! All long and... pant like! They're awful! I figure if I burnt down all the shops now, there won't be any pants by the time I get back to the future.

Timmy: ...

Jenna: I don't know, but you should all be grateful I'm still here. I'm gracing the past with my presence!

Timmy: ...

Jenna: I don't care how many want me to leave...

Timmy: ...

Jenna: That many?

Timmy: ...

Jenna: That many that signed the paper? Others weren't able to huh?

Timmy: ...

Jenna: Estimated over 10,000?

Timmy: ...

Jenna: ehehehehehheeh

Timmy: ...

Jenna: Nope, shalln't go yet! I have stuff to do! Like my father for one!

Timmy: ...

Jenna: No, I will not talk of my father to you!

Timmy: ...

Jenna: Cause I don't want to!

Timmy: ...

Jenna: Well my Mamma is the kingdoms Jester. Course she's no where near as good as me, but she was good for her time :P

Timmy: ...

Jenna: You know for a tree your kinda bish... ever wanted to become a human for a day, I can think of all sorts of fun things to do.

Timmy: ...!

Jenna: Well mostly they end up inside out or... worse ^-^ But its cute to look at until it explodes.

Timmy: ...!!!

Jenna: Wait, it's over all ready? Where's the people to praise me? Where's my prizes?

Timmy: ...

Jenna: NO PRIZES!? What kinda of "Hail to Jenna" is this?

Timmy: ...

Jenna: No I will not be quite! In fact I have a good mind to start raising some Hell! Liturally!

Jenna: IHATEYOUALL!IHATEYOUALL!IHATEYOUALL! *chanting*

Timmy: ...

A few dozen guards come in and drag Jenna out kicking and screaming. (Of the dozen guards, 2 will never walk the same again, 1 is sworn of children, and 5 have bite marks that will neever truly heal. Please take a minutes silence to honour these brave men...)

by **LadyDragonClawsEDW** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 1:06 pm

As the rather active vampirehalf is dragged out, a small golden-furred nekojin skips in and sits down....

----

Ayra: Herro! =^_^=

Timmy: ......

Ayra: Oh I'm Ayra! =^_^=

Timmy: .....

Ayra: Mythril yeah!

Timmy: .....

Ayra: You know Oneeane! =^_^= Yay! Oneeane is great isn't she?

Timmy: ......

Ayra: Job...well um...you see.... =>.>= .... =<.<= .... *lowers voice* I see dead people...

Timmy: ......

Ayra: Yeah trees too but I don't reap those as often and stuff...

Timmy: .....

Ayra: Fuzzy things mostly, Mister Grim takes care of all of the bad people for me...

Timmy: .....

Ayra: .....who?

Timmy: .......

Ayra: *blank stare*

Timmy: ......

Ayra: Oh! Mister Mophead! Yea I work for him...he's nice and he has a lot of toys and stuff. =^_^=

Timmy: ......

Ayra: Well other than Oneeane....there's Finde, and Robert, and Solis, and Kodi...Kodi's funny, he's a ninja. =^_^=

Timmy: .....

Ayra: Yeah Finde is fuzzy =^_^= He likes shiney things too....

Timmy: ......

Ayra: Fuzzy things are great!

Timmy: .....

Ayra: Yes I know Stacey, she made me, why do you ask? =o.o=

Timmy: ......

*awkward pause, Ayra stares off into space*

Timmy: ......

Ayra: Well one time I went and KICKED A DRAGOON IN THE FACE! Robert was so jealous! =^_^=

Timmy: .....

Ayra: Oneeane doesn't let me go on adventures as much =.V.= I was going to go somewhere fun with mister Hakaril and stop a mean person but Oneeane wouldn't let me.... *pout*

Timmy: .....

Ayra: ....what?

Timmy: .....

Ayra: ....ne...goteerate? ....you use really big words Mister Timmy...

Timmy: ......

Ayra: *blank stare*

Timmy: .......

Ayra: =^_^= I like corn.

Timmy: ......

Ayra: =^_^= .... Oh I have to go reap something now it's nice meeting you and stuff... I'll say hi to Oneeane Ara for you! Bye bye!

Ayra disappears rather suddenly, leaving the seat empty.

by **Nekogami** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 2:58 pm

A deeply tanned elf walks onto the stage and sits down. She has a solemn expression and the clothes of a ranger.

Timmy:...

Mahou: Hello. My name is Mahou Wyrd.

Timmy:...

Mahou: It's a High Elven name.

Timmy:...

Mahou: My father is a high elf, yes.

Timmy:...

Mahou: I might have some distant drow....very distant.

Timmy:...

Mahou:...

Timmy:...

Mahou: ... .... My mother is drow. Next question.

Timmy:...

Mahou: I don't like to talk about her. She stands for everything I'm against.

Timmy:...

Mahou: She's a heartless murderer.

Timmy:...

Mahou: Yes, I am a mercenary but I don't kill people too often. I just ruin their lives to the point they repent.

Timmy:...

Mahou: ... I see your point.......

Timmy:...

Mahou: I am in touch with my feelings. I like to shop.

Timmy: ...

Mahou: Cry? Only girls do that.....

Timmy: ...

Mahou: ...Okay wimpy girls....

Timmy: ...

Mahou:........Yes....I summon....bunnies.....

Timmy: ...

Mahou: I didn't WANT to summon bunnies. I would have preferred a wolf or falcon.....

Timmy:...

Mahou: I am not 'squishy' on the inside, unless you're referring to my intestines and vital organs.

Timmy: ...

Mahou: ...

Timmy: ...

Mahou: ...

Timmy: ...

Mahou: Right.

Mahou stands up and leaves the stage. A few audience members clap out of confusion.

by **Jak Snide** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 4:14 pm

A man garbed in a set of green robes and a large, grey black mage's hat walks onto the stage, and looks at Timmy in confusion. After whispering a question off stage, he sits down in the chair.

Timmy: ...

Jak: Jak Snide. Er, hi.

Timmy: ...

Jak: I'm a hugely powerful master of the destructive arts.

Timmy: ...

Jak: *mutters* I work as security at an inn.

Timmy: ...

Jak: Look, my fiance owns it, got it?! And I do take on other, less mundane jobs as well.

Timmy: ...

Jak: Mercenary jobs. You know, sorting out some mewling merchant's vendetta against some low profile bandit gang and the like...

Timmy: ...

Jak: Or falling 20 feet upwards while trying to retrieve some blasted trinket for a psychotic bitch, yes...

Timmy: ...

Jak: Yes yes, or nearly being flattened by a 20 foot golem.

Timmy: ...

Jak: I can't believe I'm being humiliated by a miniature plant! And besides, how the hell did you get a job interviewing people anyway?!

Timmy: ...

Jak: Oh.

Timmy: ...

Jak: Look, do you want to interview me, or simply erode my patience and temper away, one comment at a time?!

Timmy: ...

Jak: I'm warning you, you blasted little piece of...

Timmy: ...

Jak: How did you know about that?! In any case, I can assure you that the terms don't apply to plants, so shut your fucking trap!

Timmy: ...

Jak: I'm arguing with a bloody plant! Right, that's it...

Jak storms of stage, blasting the chair which he was sitting in into itty bitty pieces and muttering obscenities.

Edited by: Jak Snide 

at: 1/10/03 3:16:11 pm

by **pd Rydia** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 4:33 pm

During the next commercial break, some maintenance employees come out onto the stage. They sweep up the shattered chair and replace it with a new one.

They seem to have done this before. The stage is as good as new for the next guest.

by **JoshuaDurron** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 6:11 pm

((Blargh. Why not? I'm no more familiar with most of the characters on here already than people will be with mine. So...))

An older man, perhaps in his late fifties to early sixties, walks onto the stage. Perhaps walks is not the best word. Shuffles, yes he shuffles onto the stage, carefully prodding the ground in front of him with the long staff in his hands. His long white hair and beard blend into his simple, hodded robe. He carefully takes his seat after bowing in Timmy's direction.

----

Joshua: St. Dumat's blessings to you, my child. I am Joshua Durron.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: You... are not a child?

Timmy: ...

Joshua: You would be a sapling, if anything. Because you are a tree. Of course.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: I am a seer. One given the holy power to forsee the future, although it is not always clear.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: Yes, I am a holy man, of sorts.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: No, I do not use my staff to smite evil. In fact, I prefer not to fight, when possible. Blind men often fair poorly in battle. My staff helps me find my way.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: A blind seer? Yes... I suppose that is correct.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: I... I suppose I could do weddings. The matter has never really come up.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: No, I was not always blind. I lost my sight when the power of forseeing the future came to me.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: I use my powers to counsle those who will listen, so that they may consider the consequences of their actions.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: The blind, leading the blind? I would not call it that.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: What would I call it? I... would call it the blessings of St. Dumat.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: He is the saint who appeared to me when my power came to me.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: He told me that I would be given great power, but never completely understand why. Only that I would wander in the darkness, to bring light to others.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: Yes, I suppose that has proven true in more than one sense.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: I have actually travelled little. It is difficult to find people willing to travel with a blind man.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: Holy magic? I can use a little.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: Absolutely not. I will not take on a contract to hunt down the black mage who destroyed your chair. I only invoke holy powers in matters where they can be of positive use, or when force is absolutely necessary.

Timmy: ...

Joshua: No, I am not a hypocritical paladin who enjoys violence!

Timmy: ...

Joshua: Dumat admonished his followers not to be involved in pointless bickering. Thank you for inviting me here, but I feel that I should no longer remain. Goodbye.

----

The man stands, and shuffles carefully of the stage, leaving the chair open for the next guest.

by **NamagomiMk0** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 8:26 pm

Another young man, looking as if he was in his very early twenties walks in. He is wearing a dark gray trenchcoat and has a couple of guns strapped to his back. He sat down discreetly and looked over at the tree.

Kamos:Okay, where's the guy who's interviewing me?
Timmy:...
Kamos:What? You guys are kidding, right? I'm being interviewed by a TREE?
Timmy:...
Kamos:Fine, fine, this is stupid as hell. Yes, my name is Kamos, yes I'm a mercenary, yes, I want to kill Ash.
Timmy:...
Kamos:How the hell did you know? Did Aya tell you?
Timmy:...
Kamos:Now stop that. I did not have sex with Arnast. She forced herself on me.
Timmy:...
Kamos:No I didn't just dump her for no reason, damnit! I realized then that I was pitifully attempting to replace Aya, and decided to do the right thing before things would've gotten worse.
Timmy:...
Kamos:I just wished I kne---No, magic is NOT better than guns!
Timmy:...
Kamos:Yes, I use shadow magic. What's your point?
Timmy:...
Kamos:No, I'm not evil.
Timmy:...
Kamos:I'm not "good", either. "Good" people are bad news. Less jobs for me.
Timmy:...
Kamos:I have no idea what the hell you're saying.
Timmy:...
Kamos:Wha---ICK! Hell no I do NOT do that.
Timmy:...
Kamos:No. Jobs as in mercenary jobs, you sick-ass tree.
Timmy:...
Kamos:No, I am not gay. Gay people are disgusting as all hell.
Timmy:...
Kamos:You're starting to piss me off, you asshole tree! Why would anyone want to know my fa--
Timmy:...
Kamos:Fine, I'll answer your stupid question. IM:MI:Heheh....*looking between images of Sizreina and Lyssandra*
Kamos:...I don't have one.
Timmy:...
Kamos:No I do not
Timmy:...
Kamos:No, I do NOT have one.
Timmy:...
Kamos:Fine, I'm out of here, you stupid-ass tree.

The mercenary gets himself out of the seat, takes out his shotgun, and blows the poor thing into 3 pieces. He then leaves, pissed off.

by **Kelne** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 9:59 pm

*A figure in battered leather armour and carrying a shovel wanders onto the stage*

#32: Sorry I'm late. I kinda got lost on my way from the dressing room.

Timmy: ...

#32: Yeah, the map wasn't too good.

Timmy: ...

#32: Not that often.

Timmy: ...

#32: Well, yes, more often, actually.

Timmy: ...

#32: There's nothing wrong with my sense of direction!

Timmy: ...

#32: I'm Minion 32. Says so on my name badge.

Timmy: ...

#32: Well, someone called me Joe once... Anyway, what's wrong with the name 32?

Timmy: ...

#32: It can be both.

Timmy: ...

#32: Oh, anyone can join. Hey, I've got a badge here somewhere...

*32 fixes a badge reading #826 to Timmy*

Timmy: ...

#32: No, really. There's no need to thank me.

Timmy: ...

#32: The look on your face says it all.

Timmy: ...

#32: Face, trunk, whatever.

Timmy: ...

#32: Childhood? I've always worked for the Boss...

Timmy: ...

#32: What before?

Timmy: ...

#32: Without a boss... no purpose...

Timmy: ...

#32: Minions... must serve...

Timmy: ...

#32: *snaps out of existence*

Timmy: ...

---------

A sign comes on enjoining the audience to clap their hands if they believe in minions.

Meanwhile, the chair is empty for the next guest.

by **Blaze Yamato Spirit** » Fri Jan 10, 2003 10:46 pm

There is a poping sound and a white-skinned Twilight Folk appears hovering above the chair, upside down.

Timmy: ...
???: I have no name, yes, yes. Some indeed have called me "Studmuffin", others yet "Mr. Fluffy", yes, this is true, yes indeed yes.
Timmy: ...
*Canned laughter*
Mr. Fluffy: "Who the hell called me studmuffin?" A succubus it was ,yes, mmm. Nightbride she called herself. A good niiiight, yes, a good night it was. You would not know of such matter,s of course, hmmmmm?
Timmy: ...
*Canned laughter*
Mr. Fluffy: o.o I didn't no trees could do THAT, no indeed.
Timmy: ...
*Canned tuna- I mean laughter*
Mr. Fluffy: No. I can see that, yes, yes I can.
Timmy: ...
*Canned laughter*
Mr. Fluffy: Have I f-....? You are a nasty little tree, yes, a nasty tree indeed.
Timmy: ...
Mr. Fluffy: ...
Timmy: ...
Mr. Fluffy: ...Excuse me, mmmm, but I feel the call of an unexpected turn of events, mm, yes indeedy I do...

*disappears*

Timmy: ...
*Canned laughter*

by **Kotoki** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 3:38 am

A brown haired woman with a ponytail walks cheerfully onto the stage and sits down.

Kotoki: Hello. My name's Kotoki. Nice to meet you. ^_^

Timmy: ...

Kotoki: I run an inn in Doma.

Timmy: ...

Kotoki: You've heard of it? ^_^ It seems that lots of people have these days. I'm glad.

Timmy: ...

Kotoki: Well... My life's not all that interesting, really... Mostly I run the inn. I do odd jobs sometimes.

Timmy: ...

Kotoki: Oh! Um, was Jak in here for an interview?

Timmy: ...

Kotoki: Yes, we're engaged. I proposed a while ago. ^_^

Timmy: ...

Kotoki: He did? That wasn't too nice of him. I'll have to talk to him about that.

Timmy: ...

Kotoki: No, not like that. >_> I'm not into that kind of thing.

Timmy: ...

Kotoki: Okay, maybe a little bit. Sometimes. Carefully. But only with healing items on hand.

Timmy: ...

Kotoki: Can we change the subject now? -_-;;

Timmy: ...

Kotoki: Oh, yes... I do know a bit. I'm pretty good, actually. My parents were going to send my to Gunnir, but...

Timmy: ...

Kotoki: Yeah. Long story.

Timmy: ...

Kotoki: It's been fun talking to you, too. You're a nice tree. ^_^

Kotoki pats Timmy on the leaves and walks off the stage.

by **Dragon Sage007** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 6:02 am

A thin man with an angular face dressed in a green cape and brown traveling clothes takes the seat, laying his staff aside

Hello Timmy, I'm Sorune, Sage and protector of Y'tuin. I'm also a druid here on Gaera.

Timmy:...

Sorune:Yes, the same Sorune that Astrynax was talking about. I only saved his life.

Timmy:...

Sorune:Well....yes, he did save my life a few times beforehand.

Timmy:...

Sorune:....Alright, and I kind of shoved off a succubus on him so that Kyle could run away.

Timmy:...

Sorune:How dare you?! I'm married!

Timmy:...

Sorune:The fact that she's on another planet has nothing to do with it.

Timmy:...

Sorune:I have MUCH stronger morals than that, I'll have you know!

Timmy:...

Sorune:Oh. Sorry, my Bonsai is a little rusty. Of course I love her.

Timmy:...

Sorune:I heard that.

Timmy:...

Sorune:You don't say things like that on television!

Timmy:...

Sorune:Okay, can you speak clearly from now on so as to avoid misunderstandings like that? And I don't mean yelling TIMMEH across the stage.

Timmy:...

Sorune:Oh shut up about the Dryad.

Timmy:...

Sorune:I'll have you know I got Inverse's nasty little secret about you.

Timmy:...

Sorune:Much better. Now, back to respectable subjects.

Timmy:...

Sorune:Respectable and somewhat interesting for the people out there. I don't care about the best way to trim strawberries myself.

Timmy:...

Sorune:.....That's enough to make PERVY blush.

Timmy:...

Sorune:You're a very dirty little tree, you know that? *Picks up a water can and waters him*

Timmy:...

Sorune:Oh. Right then.

Timmy:...

Sorune:Yes, I'm among those that have saved Gaera. Needs saving every other week.

Timmy:...

Sorune:You did not.

Timmy:...

Sorune:D id not.

Timmy:...

Sorune:D id not.

Timmy:...

Sorune:D id not.

Timmy:...

Sorune:D id not.

Timmy:...

Sorune:D id too.....why did I fall for that?

Timmy:...

Sorune:Oh shut up before I make you into fertilizer.

And with that, Sorune left with his staff.

EDIT:And Sage turned off the damn emoticons.

Edited by: Dragon Sage007 at: 1/11/03 1:54:19 pm

by **Choark** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 6:45 am

The stage is quite for a moment then off stage, where no other person can see, a loud CRASH is heard, followed by the sounds of numberous objects of different sizes falling and breaking.

After it all settles a rather well built tanned man, (well honestly, late teen) backs onto the stage apologising as he swings his warhammer around and straps it on his back.

The man turns round and smiles at everyones, giving every single person a wave and a nod. His hair is a odd colour of dark blue, natural (if thats the word), and with a bound and a hop he stands next to Timmy.

Choark: HEY! HEY! I'm Choark! Barbarian Ninja! Expert mouse catcher and number one spaz!

Timmy: ...

Choark: I have one of those things... you know.. you read em.. and it proves I'm a expert mouse catcher!

Timmy: ...

Choark: No, I don't know how either, I think it says expert mouse catcher on it.

Timmy: ...

Choark: eheheheheheheh Well I can't read it so I'm not sure. Can you?

Timmy: ...

Choark: Oh I see, bummer, to bad. eheheheh But I guess you don't see.

Timmy: ...

Choark: Huh?

Timmy: ...

Choark: *looks more confused* Wha?

Timmy: ...

Choark: OH! Well I eh, catch and eat mice for loads of people around Doma! Other then that I just run around and eat.

Timmy: ...

Choark: I have a bum I suppose, but does that make me one?

Timmy: ...

Choark: I have a home, I'm just not allowed to go there.

Timmy: ...

Choark: Cause I totally destroyed 500 years worth of solid work in a day, I think they said. I acidentally destroyed a temple. *His scratches his head in embarresment*

Timmy: ...

Choark: Well I was training and sort of lost control and tripped and knocked a pillar, then I tried to fix the pillar then I knocked another one, so I threw that pillar away to get the other one then that one knocked another one, so then I tried to knock the wall a little so it was at a better angle and...

Timmy: ... *interrupts*

Choark: Yep! Then it all fell down!

Timmy: ...

Choark: Well yeah but Pigs with me. I miss sis and Gramps though.

Timmy: ...

Choark: Nope never again *smiles* I'm banished forever.

Timmy: ...

Choark: Well I'm waiting for forever to run out. I may go back and ask them how long forever is.

Timmy: ...

Choark: You sure its that long?

Timmy: ... ...

Choark: Well I just walk around and hunt and fight. I like fighting, do you want a fight?

Timmy: ...

Choark: Well you might know all sorts of moves

Timmy: ...

Choark: Couldn't you try and tangle me with your branches or something? No? Awww well. And you're a plant too... you don't even look tasty.

Timmy: ...

Choark: Oh no! I never eat green plant stuff! I only eat meat. Meats tasty!

Timmy: ... *changing track once again*

Choark: Well I'm a barbarian ninja

Timmy: ...

Choark: We sneak up on things and hit em with our weapon then take on whoevers left!

Timmy: ...

Choark: Well apprently I'm not a very good barbarian ninja. Apprently, according to Pig, I'm too much of a "bumberling oaf" to ever be better then an "idiot of a Barbarian Ninja" *smiles again*

Timmy: ...

Choark: Well he is cranky and very old.

Timmy: ...

Choark: He's my father! The mighest Wolf-Pig ever and over 300 years old!

Timmy: ...

Choark: Do you think 300 is longer then forever?

Timmy: ... *meaning : That ends that*

And thus the rather odd Barbarian ninja was lurred away with a large chink of meat and allowed to go back into the wild as nature intended. No Barbarian Ninja's were harmed in the making of this interview, but he did manage to break our most expensive equipment and attacked the janitor, thinking his broom could turn into some sort of sword.

We were glad to be rid of him.

Do you know how much those things cost? We had to get a loan from the king himself! Now what'll we do? All beacause of that damned bast- *stops and sounds of someone being dragged away can be heard*

by **LadyDragonClawsEDW** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 12:32 pm

Meanwhile, a young woman with long blond hair set in a french braid, baggy green "parachute pants" and a black tube top rushes accross stage. With her she carries a laptop. Upon making it halfway accross, all lights train on her and she freezes.

Timmy: .......

Rosalie: ....G...guest? Uh....yeah of course I'm your next guest... ^_^;;

*Laughing nervously, the woman took her seat in the chair beside Timmy*

Timmy: ......

Rosalie: Me? I'm Rosalie Lev---BLANC! Yea, Blanc...

Timmy: ......

Rosalie: Uh...well um...I live with my "brother" and uh....try to ....stay alive >.> .... <.< ....

Timmy: ......

Rosalie: Vampire, zombies, corporations, mafia....you name it, I've had to run from it.

Timmy: ......

Rosalie: Well the vampires want my type O blood...I...I'm not at liberty to discuss what the others want >_>;;

Timmy: ......

Rosalie: Oh yeah the zombies wanted to rend my flesh from my bones but there's nothing new with that... *shrugs*

Timmy: .....

Rosalie: Dasek..we're currently having a little trouble with the IRS...

Timmy: .....

Rosalie: Yeah an audit...one of those "Wait you don't exist but you really do and you haven't paid taxes for years and you got a assload of stuff we can reposses" type of audit...

Timmy: ......

Rosalie: Me...? A job? Er...I really can't quite take a job now...

Timmy: .....

Rosalie: .....you take that back.

Timmy: .......

Rosalie: I'm serious. I'm not a freeloader.

Timmy: .....

Rosalie: *blushes* HEY! How'd you know about HIM!

Timmy: .....

Rosalie: No I'm not after his money! He really likes me... *dreamy sigh*

Timmy: .....

Rosalie: Well uh...a few days....what are you getting at....

Timmy: .....

Rosalie: e_e I have volumes of information on bonsai pruning in my head and I'm not afraid to use it.

Timmy: ......

Rosalie: >.< Enough already! I'm not a trophy girlfriend!

*some men in black suits walk in on the other side of the stage*

Rosalie: O_O ....uhnicetomeetyouTimmybutIreallygottagonowokaybye! *Rosalie leaps out of her chair and dashes off the other side of the stage, the suits see this and run after her. Some normal security guards pursue the suits to backstage.*

by **SALSAlys** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 3:55 pm

A slender, athletic-looking young woman walks onstage. Her skin is a dark brown, like rich loam, and her slightly wavy hair is streaked with the colors of autumn leaves. She has honey-colored eyes and is wearing a tunic of woven green leaves.

Rowan: Hello. ^^;;

Timmy: ...

Rowan: Well, yes, I don't go to the main cities that much... I'm a hamadryad, so I don't feel that comfortable without greenery around me... and last time I went I nearly got mugged. >.<

Timmy: ...

Rowan: Yes, I have a lot of friends who are elementals as well... Shikhaela, Phyllias, Zephyr, Zakara, Nightbride...

Timmy: ...

Rowan: Neovane... mages? Oh, them? I met Jinto a couple times...

Timmy: ...

Rowan: No, I did NOT 'cross-pollinate' with him! I only met him twice! And he ended up blindfolding himself or running away!

Timmy: ...

Rowan: ....really?

Timmy: ...

Rowan: ....*deep blush, hair reddening as well* No I wasn't aware about their... elemental attractions...

Timmy: ...

Rowan: To tell the truth, I mostly went over to see Bessie. ^_^ I like most animals and plants. And Bessie's sweet!

Timmy: ...

Rowan: Yes, Bessie is a cow. A floating one.

Timmy: ...

Rowan: ....yes, I am single.

Timmy: ...

Rowan: No, I don't really feel like I need a 'man in my life'. ^^;; I'm pretty happy by myself, and I have the forest around me...

Timmy: ...

Rowan: Why, thank you. *slightly pleased, embarrassed smile*

Timmy: ...

Rowan: Well, my plans for the future? Maybe help raise a few more of the seedlings near the heart of the forest, talk with some of my friends more often...

Timmy: ...

Rowan: Of course. *sets her hands on Timmy, and a healthy green glow expands from the palms of her hands, washing over him and making him look like a healthier tree*

Timmy: ...

Rowan: No problem at all. ^_^ *melds into the ground, disappearing and ending the interview*

by **pd Rydia** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 5:19 pm

Just then, a commotion kicked up behind the stage. A bit of yelling went on, a strange voice grating out violently above the yells, before scuffling ensues. Suddenly, a very thin woman, dressed in a slightly tattered grey shirt, ragged blue jeans, and a well-worn, red-brown jacket rips open the door and darts onto the stage. She skids to a halt, looking around with wide eyes, before straightening herself, dusting off her clothes, and walking self-assuredly over to the seat before Timmy.

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: Of course I'm yer next guest! Rai'm Tymisonn, dontcha have it onna sheet somewhere?

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: Can't read? Heh, well, no shame in that.

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: My job? Uh, well...I um...am a mercenary. Yeah, I do odd jobs and stuff. *her eyes flicker slightly*

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: Uh, well, I haven't been doin' it too long honestit's a new job...

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU HEAR THAT?!

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: Goddammit, I thought I could trust him! *grumble, bitches, and complains incoherently at length*

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: Yeah, well, I gave up thieving, okay?! Got myself a royal pardon and everything!

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: Well, crap, you just got some real good fuckin sources, don't you?

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: It is NOT obvious! I look nothin' like Princess Reese'n! I mean, common!

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: Oh, shuttup. Next fuckin' question.

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: Huh? I dunno...I don' exactly gotta lotta time to waste standin' around on scales. Why d'ya ask?

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: I am NOT as thin as a rail! e\/e

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: Yeah, yeah whatever. Hey, It's been great, but I really outta run...you got any food for contestants around here somewhere?

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: Uh...backstage...um, damn...great. Thanks a bunch, Timmeh. *snickers*

Timmy: ...

Rai'm: Yeah, see ya around, or somethin'.

Rai'm stands up, stretches, and exits the stage nonchalantly. She leaves her chair in one piece.

by **Kelne** » Sat Jan 11, 2003 6:46 pm

The next guest seems to be an elderly, distinguished-looking man with grey hair and a slightly faded suit.

Nicholai: Is beink pleasure to be here. I am beink Nicholai Sandovich.

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: Russia, originally. Oh, how I am missink Mother Russia.

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: Name is beink Nicholai, not Boris. And vhy vould I be huntink Moose and Sqvirrel?

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: Blood of voodland creatures is not beink nourishink.

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: Do not be temptink me to taste sap of livink, tree.

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: Is beink somevhat tryink dealink vith modern undead community -

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: Niet. Vith is not beink rude vord.

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: Am not carink vhat Drow are sayink.

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: You are vishink to be drained of sap?

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: Qvit makink fun of accent. And no vun is sayink 'blah'.

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: Da, da. Aside from mad frenchman.

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: You vould not dare call him here.

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: You vill be regrettink it, markink my vords.

Timmy: ...

Nicholai: I vill be leavink you to reflect upon folly now.

With that, Nicholai gets up and stalks off-stage.
Later, one of the stage hands is found looking extremely pale, and is found to be missing a lot of blood. When questioned, he says only, "I am rememberink nothink."

by **SALSAlys** » Mon Jan 13, 2003 12:33 am

An oddly disturbing young woman walks on stage. Though attractive, her skin is pale as moonbeams, and her blue eyes appear to be too dark. Her short blonde hair is slightly mussed, giving her a carefree, windblown look. She is wearing skintight black leggings and a long-sleeved black T-shirt, with no shoes, but has a jaunty red scarf loosely looped over her neck. Small fangs show when she smiles, and her ears are slightly pointed.

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: Yes, 'm a sooky. ^_^

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: Uh-huh. Sooky's slang fer succubus. Like inky fer th' incubi. I like sooky more, tho'.

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: Wha' accent? o.o

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: ...mm... kinda lost track'f how many people 've done it with... le's call it quite a lot. ^_~

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: *purrs slightly* Oh, y'dirty tree... yeah, m'best time was... mm.... so many t'chose from... I mean, found th'guy who had th'thing 'bout caramel... messy'n sticky 's heck, but worth it... 'r the group thing, five other sookies'n three inkies... we melted most o' th'icecream... Also r'mber th'gal who REALLY knew how t'use a whip...

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: Fine, fine, 'll cut it short.

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: ....yeah. v_v James w's m'first try 't bein' monogamous. Didn' work out.

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: Now yer bein' jus' too damn nosy. e.e

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: I dunno... maybe sookies aren't S'POSED t'be monogamous... but Shika's workin' out okay with Keet... 'least 'til she poofed out on us. v_v

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: *sniffles*

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: ...do I still h've a thing fer James? Guess so.... but he doesn' return it. v_v Guess 'll hafta grow up...

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: So who'm I gon' find next? Dunno, really... mebbe bug Hzar. v_v One o' the mages from Neo Vane... dunno. Dun' think 'e's scared'f me, like th'others...

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: Yeah, I scare people. Jus' do. v_v Sometimes I dun' scare them, but 'snot often.

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: ....yeah, nearly g't killed once. Kinda liked it.

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: ...yeah. I kind' like pain... feels good. Distracts y'from yer oth'r problems.

Timmy: ....

Nightbride: M'bes' friend? Dunno... think th'only person I really know th't well's Shika. v_v

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: ...no, 'mnot in love w'th her. She's got a boyfriend anyway, an' they dun' wan' be a threesome.

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: ...yeah. *sighs*

Timmy: ...

Nightbride: Th'nks. *poofs off with a puff of vanilla and jasmine*

Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=salsalys>SALSAlys</A] at: 1/12/03 11:35:40 pm

by **ZuljinVernand** » Mon Jan 13, 2003 2:55 am

Immediately after the last guest left the stage, a loud yell came from the tops of the building. A young man that looked about the age of seventeen and dressed as a wannabe-dark adventurer hit the floor from the ceiling and gave out a rather loud and painful groan.
------------------------
Timmy: ...

Agress: Oh, dear lord! I can't feel my spleen! I HAVE NO SPLEEN! WHAT THE HELL IS A SPLEEN!

Timmy: ...

Agress: Huh? Oh, wow! A shrub! I'm Agress! Nice to meet you, Shrub!

Timmy: ...

Agress: What do you mean you're not a shrub? I know shrubs when I see them.

Timmy: ...

Agress: Fine! It's a staring contest! Winner is right!

Timmy: ...

Agress: ...

Timmy: ...

Agress: ...

Timmy: ...

Agress: ...

Timmy: ...

Agress: ...

Timmy: ...

Agress: Okay. You win. You're a bonsai.

Timmy: ...

Agress: What do you mean "What was I doing in the rafters"?

Timmy: ...

Agress: I was looking for pennies. Shiny pennies.

Timmy: ...

Agress: I'm not an idiot. You're an idiot.

Timmy: ...

Agress: You're an idiot.

Timmy: ...

Agress: You're an idiot.

Timmy: ...

Agress: You're an idiot.

Timmy: ...

Agress: Get on with the show? What show? Oh... This show. I'm sorry. Here I was thinking that this was a random event spewed up by a random anonomally in reailty.

Timmy: ...

Agress: *rolls his eyes* Yes. Technically, I should be in traction from the fall. I like to call it the "Cartoon Coyote" effect. He steps over a cliff but does not fall until he realises there is no ground under him. Therefore, I will not feel the pain or sustain the damage from the until I realise-ARGH THE PAIN! THE TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE PAIN! MEDIC! MAN DOWN! DEAR LORD, MAN DOWN!
---------------------------

Two men bearing a stretcher rush out onto the stage and shove Agress onto the strecher before rushing him offstage. The stage lights dull for a few seconds while the painful screams of the young man die away before coming back on full lighting for the next guest to appear.

by **LadyDragonClawsEDW** » Thu Jan 16, 2003 1:21 am

For a few moments, crickets chirp and the audience is deathly silent.

Timmy: .....!!!!!

*Voice* ...what it's my turn?

Timmy: ......!!!!

A pretty looking blonde woman dressed in a black trenchcoat with red trim strolls out, one resembling Hakaril's. Underneath she wears a light blue tanktop and black pants.

Timmy: .......

Arnast: Yep....that's me.....

Timmy: .......

Arnast sits down and gives a small grin to Timmy.

Arnast: Yeah it's true...I had a relationship with Kamos, if you could call it that....

Timmy: .......

Arnast: Well it was his self-loathing and suicidal tendancies that attracted me to him....that man can really beat himself up and boy does it taste good....

Timmy: ......

Arnast: Sadomasochism? In a way yes...well I'm part mazoku so I feed off of negative emotions.

Timmy: ......

Arnast: Yeah he's such a buffet, yum! Too bad he dumped me and used me...

Timmy: .......

Arnast: ...well yeah technically I'm a clone of a clone and not a real person...I should kinda be dead but I got myself revived at the promise of Kamos's love.... ._.

Timmy: ......

Arnast: Yeah it's sad, my life has no purpose now and I can't even do oh so fun things like return the world to a state of chaos... *sigh*

Timmy: .......

Arnast: Dunno, a lawyer maybe?

Timmy: ........

Arnast: Well I'm not the only mazoku...there's Tai and Dante...

Timmy: .....

Arnast: Yeah Tai's cute but he's a bit young for me....Dante...eh he'd be nice if he still existed, I heard Nakibe removed him from Dan's head or something like that...

Timmy: ......

Arnast: ...Ignes? Oh...him...the powderpuff demon...hehehehehe.....

Timmy: ........

Arnast: You have no proof of that.

Timmy: .......

Arnast: You faked it.

Timmy: .......

Arnast: There were WITNESSES?

Timmy: ........

Arnast: *turns bright red, then poofs off rather suddenly*

by **Endesu** » Thu Jan 16, 2003 2:53 am

And now, introducing a cheaply designed character, intended to pose a deadly threat to Timmy.. Charlie, the Cactus.
-
Timmy: ....!

Charlie: *Is pokey*

Timmy: ....

Charlie: *Is spiney*

Timmy: ....

Charlie: *Has many spikes*

Timmy: ....

Charlie: *Is purportedly filled with gigantic tarantulas*

Timmy: ....

Charlie: *Doesn't care what snopes.com says*

Timmy: ....

Charlie: *Would hurt fat people if sat on*

Timmy: ....

Charlie: *Is soon carted off by the security guards, due to being a threat to fat people and bonsai trees*

by **FF Fanatic 80** » Thu Jan 16, 2003 8:44 pm

---

The sounds of loud cursing and scuffles backstage can be heard from the audience, as a man in dark blue armor with light blue trim is shoved onto the stage. Grunting a few more 'choice' words, the man sits in the chair and crosses his arms. He glares at the tree with piercing, green eyes, brushing one hand along the blue bandana holding some of his short, brown hair.

---

Stephan: ...so, you're the @#$@# interviewing everyone, huh? e_e

Timmy: ...

Stephan: What, too scared to fess up to me? Don't blame ya, one good $%$%ing fire spell and you'd light up like a...

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...Ok, fine, I won't @#$#@ing torch ya...bloody security guards...

Timmy: ...

Stephan: What's with the accent? You got a problem with it?! e_e

Timmy: ...

Stephan: I'm from Baron, what the @#$# did you EXPECT my voice to sound like, those hicks from Riva?

Timmy: ...

Stephan: NO I'm not a BIGOT you @#$@#$ing son of a...

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...FINE, it was @#$#@ing out of line, Ok? Sheesh, not my fault they sound like @#$%ing weirdo's...

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...what do you MEAN saying 'bloody' sounds just as weird?! If you *WANNA* get @#@$ing bloody, then so help me I'll... e\/e

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...oh, right, plant, no bleeding... @#$@#...

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...why I am so pissy? What the hell do you expect? My life's been a long running piece of sh#$. I've seen the world at it's @#$#@ing worst, and that's what I expect from it.

Timmy: ...

Stephan: I don't *CARE* how @#$@#ing cheerful my brother acts, he hasn't been through HALF the @#$#@ I've gone through. We're not the same.

Timmy: ...

Stephan: No, I don't hate Dan. He's a pain in the ass, sure, but...

Timmy: ...

Stephan: What? ALL siblings @#$@ing fight with each other, look at Lizard Queen there and her kopeah, capee, whatever the hell she calls her twin there.

Timmy: ...

Stephan: Yes, we fight with our weapons sometimes, so @#$#@ing what? We both let our stress out AND get @$#@$ing better at fighting, so what's the #@$#@ing problem?

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...that was an accident.

Timmy: ...

Stephan: I *THOUGHT* he was gonna parry, Ok? I didn't mean to gash his arm that badly. He's my brother, damnit, I wouldn't try to seriously @#$#@ing hurt him.

Timmy: ...

Stephan: What do you mean you don't @#$#@ing believe me?! I *DO* care about him dammit!

Timmy: ...

Stephan: I pretty much gave away my godsdamned *FREEDOM* for him. How many people do *YOU* know who'd let themselves be a God's b#$#ch for their brother, huh?

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ....that's what I thought -_-

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...yes, it was Nakibe.

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...YES, I know I'm probably f$#ked for good now, thank you -\/-;;

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...look, are you TRYING to piss me off? Of course I'd @#$%ing do it again if I had to make the same choice. I couldn't leave Dan the way he was. He doesn't deserve that @#$#@.

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...of course I thought about Midoku too, that goes without sayi...

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...that's none of your godsdamned business. e_e

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...why the @$@#$ does everyone have to ask me about this? How I @$#@ing feel about someone is none of your damned busines...

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...no, saying I care about Dan's not the same @#$#@ing thing. That's different.

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...you damn well know what I @$#@ing mean. e_e

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...e.e

Timmy: ...

Stephan: OK OK, FINE. I love him, OK?!

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...yes, I know Midoku is a guy.

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...no I'm *NOT* mistaking him for a @$@#$ing woman, you @#$@#$ e.e+++

Timmy: ...

Stephan: ...NO, I'm not @#$@#$ing *ASHAMED* of it, dammit!

Timmy: ...

Stephan: *draws his sword* Ok, that @#$#@$ing did it now! e\/e++

---

Stephan is promptly hauled offstage by the bodyguard, leaving the lone tree on the stage. On the bark, a small trail of sap can be seen, somewhat resembling a sweatdrop.

---

by **pd Rydia** » Thu Jan 16, 2003 9:34 pm

More loud arguing can be heard from backstage, until suddenly it stops abruptly. The stage door swings open to reveal an irritated-looking young woman, who strides over the center of the stage with obvious reluctance. Her grey robes rustle as she moves and her pale blue eyes flit around, taking in the scene. She takes a seat across from Timmy, careful to arrange her dark green wings so that they don't get squashed against the chairback.

Timmy: ...

Dia: Yeah...I'm Dia Rai. A mer--........an innkeep.

Timmy: ...

Dia: Well, I WAS a mercenary, like my dad was. But then this bastet, Pheryl, gave me the Jade Dragon Inn...

Timmy: ...

Dia: Yeah, she just gave it to me. She was leaving for Argovia because Kamos was a fucking shithead to her, and...I dunno why she picked me, hell.

Timmy: ...

Dia: Maybe she felt bad because she used to hate me, I dunno. Either way, now, I'm honor-bound to the inn.

Timmy: ...

Dia: Hell no, if I had a choice, I'd be a merc again! Travelling all around Igala, taking odd jobs...that's really the life for me. I'm taking care of the inn because I have to.

Timmy: ...

Dia: Well, uh, yeah, there's Robert too...

Timmy: ...

Dia: He is NOT my child! Do I look old enough to be a mother to you?!

Timmy: ...

Dia: Shut up! The point is he isn't mine, okay?!

Timmy: ...

Dia: Okay, so maybe I stay at the inn because it's easier to take care of him that way...I can't exactly toss him out onto the street, you know?

Timmy: ...

Dia: I can't do that to him, he's had enough trouble in his life.

Timmy: ...

Dia: ::ears turn red:: What? Who told you that?

Timmy: ...

Dia: NO, Richard is not my boyfriend. Next question.

Timmy: ...

Dia: NO he's not a reason I stay at the Jade Dragon...NEXT QUESTION.

Timmy: ...

Dia: Uh, Pink? Well, I don't really take care of her...

Timmy: ...

Dia: Yeah she's my half sister, but she kinda, um, hates me...

Timmy: ...

Dia: Well most of the time she does, anyway. She changes her mind when she feels like it.

Timmy: ...

Dia: Cosette takes care of her...

Timmy: ...

Dia: Yeah, a paladin of Stac--Fluffigami. Pink really takes to Cosette. ::sounds very faintly jealous:: Coss's been a really good influence on her...

Timmy: ...

Dia: Eh, maybe she'll be able to live with me at the JD sometime...I guess that'd be nice.

Timmy: ...

Dia: The JD is NOT like an orphanage. Where'd you get that?!

Timmy: ...

Dia: Yeah, well, I'm only looking after Solis for a friend, for a little while. And I already told you the deal with Robert. -\/-

Timmy: ...

Dia: No I would NOT make a good mother!

Timmy: ...

Dia: You know, I don't have to take this from a fucking tree. Either you change the line of questioning--

Timmy: ...

Dia: ::calms down somewhat:: Good enough. I'm from Riva originally.

Timmy: ...

Dia: My dad liked the country for some reason. Honestly I don't know why he stayed there, even when he was taking care of me...

Timmy: ...

Dia: Yeah I had a few bastards try to kill me. It's a country full of uneducated bigots, for the most part.

Timmy: ...

Dia: Okay more than a few. But I was able to handle myself.

Timmy: ...

Dia: Well, yeah, I had help from my dad at first...then Dragan...

Timmy: ...

Dia: Dragan's a Valthi mage of the Grey Order...trained me as a summoner. ::looking slightly proud::

Timmy: ...

Dia: I dunno what he's doing now...I haven't talked to him in ages. Hope he's doing alright...

Timmy: ...

Dia: Eh? Well I started coming into Doma on merc jobs...I even went as far south as Nekonia...but I returned to Riva periodically, to visit Dragan and stuff...

Timmy: ...

Dia: I know it was unsafe, but it's still where I was born...well, somewhere in Riva anyway...

Timmy: ...

Dia: Out of time? Right...um...

Timmy: ...

Dia: Yeah, pleasure being here...or something... ::looks sceptical:: Bye...

Dia stands up and exits offstage, a little hurriedly, leaving the seat open for the next contestant.

by **KingOfDoma** » Fri Jan 17, 2003 9:15 pm

Coming in right after Dia is a man in gold and white and purple. He wears a turban and armor. His name...

Charles Domanada, King of Doma.

He comes with his own security detail, of course, consisting of ninja and regular guards. Once they give the word the interview begins.

KoD: Hello there, Timmy. Great to finally meet you.

Timmy: ...

KoD: Oh, well, it's not that I don't trust your security. It's just that, being a public figure, I have to take extra precautions, that's all.

Timmy: ...

KoD: Well, yes, Elle is doing fine. She's been in the best of care, and she's doing quite well, thank you.

Timmy: ...

KoD: Yes, I am finding plenty of time for her. My own father couldn't seem to... find the time for me, so I'm making extra sure she knows who her father is.

Timmy: ...

KoD: That's a lie. Next question.

Timmy: ...

KoD: Well, you see, my policy on castle staff is that you must go through me to get a job here. Most people can give off whiffs of untrustworthiness that I usually detect and reject them for.

Timmy: ...

KoD: What do you mean "a tiff with the gods"?

Timmy: ...

KoD: Well, yes, I admit it, I have had... numerous problems with Nakibe in the past, but I wouldn't call it a "tiff with the gods"...

Timmy: ...

KoD: Where did you hear about that?

Timmy: ...

KoD: That's an outright lie. I've never been in my own dungeons except to visit a prisoner. Next question.

Timmy: ...

KoD:... this interview is over.

KoD's guards hurriedly bundle him out of the building while the next guest walks in...

by **Uncle Pervy** » Fri Jan 17, 2003 10:22 pm

The one who comes in next is, surprisingly, a member of the King's previous Entourage. He is a blonde man in guard's uniform, carrying a combination of Daggers, Standard issue Crossbow, and a longbow in a sheath across his back. He seems youngish, but quite weathered.

Zemekis: They said I was next.

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: What the hell kind of tree are you?

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: Well, trees don't talk to people.

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: Alright, you do. *Sighs* Wierd things in Doma.

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: Yeah, I moved in from Narshe.

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: Yes, I have a wife, Claris. And young daughter named Shoko.

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: No I didn't want to leave them behind! I love them!

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: Well, life in Narshe is a hard life. I want to give them something better. So I'm scrimping and saving to get a home here, and bring them here.

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: The winters are much less harsh, people aren't pretty much doomed to work in the mines, the Dragoons here aren't fucking nuts...

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: Okay, most of the Dragoons in Doma aren't fucking nuts.

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: Me? I'm an archer.

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: I did odd jobs in Narshe. Some Guarding, some hunting...

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: Some ice dragon who's name makes my teeth hurt moved in. Managed to work things out with some other folks to get things agreeable between the dragon and Narshe. Still, I don't trust her.

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: She's got a kid. And she feels threatened, what with the damned Dragoons and all. *his whole manner seems to Darken* And I know what I'd do if I thought Shoko or Claris were in danger...

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: I left to learn more about dragons, hoping to figure out what to do with her. According to everyone I spoke to, she's out of her fucking mind.

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: Yes, I know it's ironic I work for a dragon now. But at least she's a decent person. *mutters* Most of the time...

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: Anyway, I found I could give them a better life in Doma. So I'm bringing them here as soon as I can afford it.

Timmy: ...

Zemekis: *Nods* Anyway, I gotta get back to the guarding the gates soon.

*With that, he stands and walks out*

Edited by: Uncle Pervy 

at: 1/17/03 9:53:44 pm

by **pd Rydia** » Fri Jan 17, 2003 10:50 pm

And in bounds the next interviewee! A young girl of about 12 years of age, in outlandish clothes, strolls across the stage to take her seat. She adjusts the silver, false cat ears that sit upon her head, and turns to Timmy attentively.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Yeah, meh name is Kittie. Hi.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: It s'NOT a very odd name. I think s'just perfect!

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Well my parents didn't exactly give it to me...I gave it to myself. I dunno what my parents called me.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Yeah, I'm an orphan. Whassit to you?

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Well, I live in Doma now, but I used teh live in Myrdel's orphanage.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Myrdel is a city-dome in Terra.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Yeah well, s'another world from Gaera.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Well, I always got the impression from Reival and Sharon that there were other worlds out there. It didn't surprise me that much to actually visit one.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Reival's a friend a mine. She s'a reason why I'm here in Doma.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Well, her mom came and picked her up, and I wasn't about teh let meh friend go off t'another world without me. So I snuck along.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Okay, so they let me go. Same difference.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Well, I hope to grow up to be a professional magician one day! Rei s'always been really good with magic and I wanna too. Magic s'almost as cool as cats.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Heck yeah I like cats. *adjusts ears self-consciously, even though they fit perfectly and haven't moved out of place* I hear this place has real catgirls and I might even be able to become one to!

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Of course that s'cool!

Timmy: ...

Kittie: No, I dun wanna become a tree. <o_O> Why would yeh think that?

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Hmph, weeeell...no offense but cats're cooler then trees.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Yeah, sorry.

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Geeze, yeh don' hafta cry about it! I'm sorry!

Timmy: ...

Kittie: I'm sorry I said already! Geeze, I take it back. <O_o>;;

Timmy: ...

Kittie: Right...um...I'm gonna go now. I, um, got things teh do...

And without another word, Kittie bounced up and hurried away.

by **Reako Somner** » Fri Jan 17, 2003 11:06 pm

*next, a small, young kitsunejin boy in white robes and wearing a purple bandana stepped onto the stage and sat down. What ensued most likely put all of the audience to sleep.*

Reako: *unknowingly thinking this is the only way to communicate with this tree, Reako is using telepathy from here on out. From what the audience sees, all he is doing is sitting there.* hi! Are you the one doing the interviews? =^_^=

Timmy: .....

Reako: oh, how did you know that?

Timmy: .....

Reako: oh, so that's how you knew all those personal thing about all those people.

Timmy: .....

Reako: but isn't that alittle mean?

Timmy: .....

Reako: I suppose...

Timmy: .....

Reako: yes, his name is Valzar. Can we not talk about him, please?

Timmy: ......

Reako: Please, drop the subject.

Timmy: ......

Reako: yes, I've been living with Warlock and Redfox not long after I arrived here. =^_^=

Timmy: ......

Reako: what kind of question is that?

Timmy: .....

Reako: Of course he's nice!

Timmy: .....

Reako: ...I am just a kid. What would I know about that kind of thing?

Timmy: .....

Reako: well there is this one guy named D...

Timmy: .....

Reako: for once I agree with you.

Timmy: .....

Reako: yeah, he even brought home an incredibly flammable pet. I have no idea what it is.

Timmy: .....

Reako: I sure hope he doesn't use it for that... whatever it is you're talking about.

Timmy: .....

Reako: well yes, I was once human. Still am in some way. That feels like so long ago now.

Timmy: .....

Reako: I know about as much about it as you.

Timmy: .....?

Reako: I have no idea....

Timmy: ......!

Reako: *suddenly speaks* wha, my time is up? Ok, nice talking to you, Mr. uh.... Timmy? *walks out as a talkshow theme plays for the next person*

by **Dragon Sage007** » Fri Jan 17, 2003 11:40 pm

And after a slight amount of shoving from the doman troops, another figure comes on stage. It appears to be a small white moogle, with a whip on a belt.

Timmy:...

Kumo:I'm Kumo! The dancing moogle! ^-^

Timmy:...

Kumo:Yeah, I hate Astrynax. That meanie. Tried to strangle me!

Timmy:...

Kumo:Well....not really. I just dance a lot. Wanna see?

Timmy:...

Kumo:I'll use every dance but the flame dance. Okay?

Timmy:...

Kumo:Oh. Well, then, I'll tell you about my past. What do you want to know?

Timmy:...

Kumo:v_v Yeah. All my family were killed. And my friends.

Timmy:...

Kumo:By a bunch of thieves. I hate thieves!

Timmy:...

Kumo:A nice lady saved me....she got killed too, though.

Timmy:...

Kumo:Thanks. Teach helped me a lot.

Timmy:...

Kumo:Oh, Teach helped me learn how to dance.

Timmy:...

Kumo:He....went somewhere. I dunno where.

Timmy:...

Kumo:Well...yeah, I have a demon thing inside me.

Timmy:...

Kumo:It only came out recently. I went on a killing rampage.

Timmy:...

Kumo:Can we get off this topic? Please?

Timmy:...

Kumo:Oh. Yeah, I know lots of dances! And I can make some up on the spot.

Timmy:...

Kumo:Yep, know combat dances too. I can do wind, water, earthquakes, fire....sleep, and I kinda know this one that heals. No good at it, though.

Timmy:...

Kumo:That's all the time? Ah well. See ya later Mister Timmy!

After a short hug to Timmy, Kumo leaves.

by **Banjooie** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 12:32 am

(*breaks the one char at a time rule*)

A short little while later, a plaintive Moo is heard from the background.

"Bessie. No. No, I know his hair's dyed green, and he's on the ground. He's scared. Stop grazing the stagehand."

After some difficulty, Jinto floats out on Bessie, ignoring the chair.

Jinto: Alright then.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: No, that was Diran. I'm Jinto. Note the flying cow, Bessie.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Yes..No. Bessie. Don't eye Timmy like that. No grazing.

Timmy: ...!

Bessie: Moo...u.u

Jinto: Look, it's alright. o.o I'll get you some grass later.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: No, the kind you EAT, not smoke. Bad bonsai tree.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Yes, yes, back to the interview. I'm Jinto, Ex-Third Class Earth Mage of Neo..

Timmy: ...

Jinto: YES. WE ALL DO THAT.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: And yes, Bessie is a floating cow.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: All cows are named Bessie. o.o Haven't you ever read anything before?

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Uh..yeah. o.o

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Three times.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Ah, Truth or Dare?

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Yep. Neo Vane's official sport.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: You've obviously never seen us play.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Well, there's three general classes of successful Neo Vanic Truth or Dare players.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Well...you got the Daredevils, Lawyers, and the Merciless.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Well, the Daredevils just don't have any sort of dignity. Generally, that's Fire mages and Thunder. Fenron's a bit of an exception though, he prefers to Lawyer.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Well, that's when you take advantage of the slightest loophole to make a dare less horrible. Generally, Water, Sword, and Earth take this route. o.o

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Of course it makes it less humiliating. That's the point.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Alright, the Merciless. These people are the real psychotic ones. They're pretty average in terms of losing spellbooks, but....they're quite good at the humiliation. What's fun is a Merciless vs a Lawyer.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Several weeks, sometimes.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: We found it necessary for the Lawyer Strategy not to rule all. Contracts're written out and whatnot.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: Yes, yes, quite..BESSIE! STOP TRYING TO EAT TIMMY!

Bessie: Moo....<.< >.>

Jinto: Good girl.

Timmy: ...

Jinto: ...Well, if I'm REALLY endangering your safety that much...come on, Bessie!

Bessie: Moo...

And Bessie floats offstage. *Cue Kirby theme for no reason*

by **EKDS5k** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 2:38 am

**THE NAME OF THE FOLLOWING INTERVIEWEE HAS BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT HIS SAFETY**

A man of about 24 walks onstage. Average height, with black hair, though you wouldn't know it for the big blue dot covering his face. He wears a special microphone, which alters his voice to sound like that of a robot's.

Timmy: ...

???: Uh...you can call me Jim.

Timmy: ...

"Jim": Whether or not it's my real name isn't your business.

Timmy: ...

Jim: Look, there're a lot of people after me and my....friend, so I'd rather not say on national television, alright?

Timmy: ...

Jim: Well...for now, I guess I'm just her guardian...

Timmy: ...

Jim: Yeah, I've told her how I feel...

Timmy: ...

Jim: And I don't know! I'm no expert on women. She seems to like someone else more, though...

Timmy: ...

Jim: Ah, this guy who we're apparently roommates with. Look could we talk about something else right now?

Timmy: ...

Jim: Oh...lots of people. Altech, Kraftwerks, probably just about every cyberware company on the face of the Earth. And the IRS.

Timmy: ...

Jim: Yeah, I know. They're like vampires, only worse.

Timmy: ...

Jim: Because a real vampire, with lots of influence, apparently, convinced them to audit me, and severely.

Timmy: ...

Jim: Why is that a problem?! It's a problem because I have no job, no income, have never actually paid my taxes, and yet I still have some kind of income, due to all the stuff I own. Owned.

Timmy: ...

Jim: Yeah it all burned in the fire.

Timmy: ...

Jim: I had to! It was that or get thrown in jail. And then I couldn't very well protect Ro--Jaina, now could I?

Timmy: ...

Jim: All you need to know is that her name is Jaina.

Timmy: ...

Jim: Yes she's the same girl I was talking about before! What are you, dumb?

Timmy: ...

Jim: Am not!

Timmy: ...

Jim: Look shut up, alright. I told you I already expressed my feelings for her. Fuck, I don't need this. I'm outta here.

At this point, "Jim" closes his eyes (though you wouldn't know it), and vanishes from view following a soft glow.

by **KingOfDoma** » Sat Jan 18, 2003 6:02 pm

As soon as the last guest disappears, two feet land hard on the ground where they stood. A white feather lands next to the feet as all see an angry man, with hard, red eyes, a grey garment, and all the looks of their ruler.

It's good ol' Selrahc Adanamod, pretender to the throne.

Selrahc: My, that last guest was a raging wuss, wasn't he?
Timmy: ...

Selrahc: Oh, come now, Timothy! Do you really think all that foolishness about "expressing our feelings" does anything but reveal weakness?
Timmy: ...

Selrahc: Oh please. When you act in such a... well, how else can I put it? Mushy manner, you show enemies you're soft. Vulnerable. And any who wish to survive will know MUCH better.
Timmy: ...

Selrahc: Asking that question implies I do not trust my mate, when I trust my Neko completely. It isn't weakness when you are simply honest with yourself, and when you marry, your partner becomes part of yourself.
Timmy: ...

Selrahc: Why thank you.

Timmy: ...

Selrahc: Oh, how I came to be? Well, you can accredit that to my lovely bride. In effect, she's also my mother.
Timmy: ...

Selrahc: Oh, you DO have a twisted mind, don't you? I like that... but to answer your question... *looks to the lighting booth* Can you give me a spotlight, please? *hesitation*
*powers up an energy blast* I did say please, after all... *spotlight hits Selrahc*

Anyways... for a while, my future lady love, Neko, was fascinated with how ... my other ... looked. She thought him to be the most handsome man in all Gaera. But of course, she thought his personality stank. So she sought out to remake him... a personality remodelling, if it were. So, she found a Genesis egg and...
Timmy: ...

Selrahc: Oh, well, it's basically just an unfertilized dragon's egg. But, if it's given a sample from another living being, say a human, then that sample grows into a copy of that being.

Timmy: ...

Selrahc: Yes, and at great personal risk to herself... Genesis eggs are quite hard to find. You have to take them right from their mothers... yes, my love wanted to make me very badly...

Timmy: ...

Selrahc: Oh, these? *flaps the wings a bit* Well, some peasants thought they could "reform" me by filling me with some holy energy... obviously enough, it didn't work. Shame... didn't ask me what god they affiliated me with before I killed them. Oh well. Unanswered questions, I guess...

Timmy: ...

Selrahc: Tell me, Timothy. If someone tried to turn you into... a panda, say, and they expected you to change who you were, and totally turn your back on yourself, would you do it?

Timmy: ...

Selrahc: See, if I were in your shoes, and, of course, I was, I would take the claws they gave me, the teeth they gave me, and tear them apart. And all the while, saying about as much as you do. Do you understand?

Timmy: ...

Selrahc: My plans? To take Doma, of course.

Timmy: ...

Selrahc: Well, think of it this way. I am a copy of the King, to a certain extent. I have his physical prowess, comparable mental faculties, and even equitable leadership skills. But where he decides to use his emotions to guide him, I decide objectively. When he chooses to limit himself in need to maintain his humanity, I realize that humans are not the be all and end all. And when he stopped his own development, his own self-growth, when he became king, I continued to expand. In my opinion, I am the King's better in almost every way, and it is my birthright to rule this kingdom.

Timmy: ...

Selrahc: Oh, well, I should be going anyways... have a meeting with some Rivan warlords later. Have a nice day, Timothy...

And, without another word, the pretender exits.

by **Kotoki** » Sun Jan 19, 2003 11:33 pm

A rather effeminate young man, with green eyes and long blonde hair tied back, shuffles onstage and quietly takes a seat.

Brandon: Hi. ^_^;; I'm Brandon. Pleased to meet you, Timmy. What kind of tree are you?

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Oh, really? That's kind of neat. ^_^

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Oh, uh, yeah. Um, I'm just a humble travelling bard. Wandering the world aimlessly. That's all. I'm not a prince in disguise at all or anything. Not me. >_>;;

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Yes, I do realize I'm a bad liar.

Timmy: ...

Brandon: I work at Kotoki's Inn, as the resident bard. I travel around a lot of the time, but it's nice to have a place to stay when I need a break, you know? ^_^;;

Timmy: ...

Brandon: I suppose so. I'd never drink them, though. I'm very, very bad with alchohol. -_-

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Well... I get... really... weird when I'm drunk. So I try not to be anymore, because it kind of puts me out of comission. And if I ever succeeded at the things I try to do, I'd never forgive myself. -_-

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Miss Kotoki is really nice! Uh... Jak doesn't like me too much, though. Well, I guess he doesn't like very many people, but, um... He thinks of me as a coward. I guess I am, sometimes.

Timmy: ...

Brandon: No, I'm not actually too much good with magic. I'm a fighter.

Timmy: ...

Brandon: I'm stronger than I look, certainly. But I don't look *that* weak, do I? ^_^;;

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Oh. -_-

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Um... I have a little sister.

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Mm. *nods* Her name's Alissa. She was my bodyguard, too. She's fantastic with a sword. ^_^

Timmy: ...

Brandon: She can be a little crazy sometimes, but I love her.

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Well, that depends on what you say to her. She doesn't like people treating her like a little girl.

Timmy: ...

Brandon: When she doesn't like people, she... uh... takes care of them. In innovative and violent ways. -_-;;

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Um, um, yeah. Why am I disguising myself? No real reason at all. Nope. >_>

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Okay. I'm... I'm looking for someone.

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Yes. -//-

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Yes, um, yes we were. -////-

Timmy: ...

Brandon: ...I don't know.

Timmy: ...

Brandon: I... He just left one day. I guess... I don't know. Maybe he got bored... Maybe he already had someone... Maybe I just didn't deserve to be happy when so many people were suffering around me...

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Well, I mean... I keep asking myself, but it's not like I get any answers. And then I beat myself up about it, because it's not like I'm the only person in the world who's lost someone they loved, and then I... I just feel so guilty about the whole thing, and...

Timmy: ...

Brandon: It has to be my fault, though, doesn't it? I can't blame anyone but me. I mean... I... I just know I did something wrong, and that's why. And I know I should get on with my life, but I... I just can't forget... I can't...

Timmy: ...

Brandon: *wipes eyes* I... um... should probably go now, before this gets ever more embarassing. Sorry... thanks for the interview...

Timmy: ...

Brandon: Right... you too...

Digging a tissue out of his pocket, Brandon exits the stage.

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