If you had Kids.....

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If you had Kids.....

Unread postby Nekogami » Mon Apr 02, 2007 10:35 am

How would you raise them? It's a complicated question, I know and all the hypothesizing in the world can't prepare you for it but I think it let's you know someting about the person answering the question. It's fun, I guess. *shrug*

I don't think I could be a parent but if I did... I think I'd be a stay at home mom until they were ten, if possibly. Maybe five. I'm strongly againt putting children in daycare while you work because, in my opinion, while convenient for working parents it leaves the raising to someone else. To me it's tantamount to owning a dog a keeping it in a kennel for most of the day until it's convenient for you to care for it. If you can't raise something with your own two hands and one brain then maybe a body should reconsider having kids, or pets, for that matter.

I don't know about discipline... I'd be a talker, a reasoner, a negotiator, and I don't think that's effective for strong willed kids or a child that's damned and determined to have it's way. I'm not strong-willed and a strong willed child would have great potential to walk all over me when it gets older. I'd be a very quiet mom but a loud friend figure which is also not conducive to raising a child well, I think.

I'm not family material. I'm irratioinal, possibly crazy, and while thre are perfectly functioning families of mentally ill people, I think I'm ... uncapable of controlling my emotions, functioning under stress, and maintaining a lot of responsibility. It would kill me if I lost my temper and took it out on a kid, even if I just yelled. I think I'd be hypersensitive and spastic because of my own upbringing and that's just not fair.

Now I'm a fantastic pet owner! So I plan to have a family of cats, dogs, and koi!

So, in summary, if I had kids,I wouldn't raise them well. I ABSTAIN! >:{

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Unread postby Archmage » Mon Apr 02, 2007 1:14 pm

It's not only a complicated question, but it's one I don't feel I have any way of fairly evaluating at this point in my life.

Right now I have too much going on to even think about the prospect of children; I'm busy enough with school and work that the very idea is totally unfathomable. How could I raise another human being when I can barely pay my own living expenses and have as much work to do as I do? It would functionally have to be something I do in my "free time," and that...is clearly not enough.

The idea of assigning some arbitrary age cutoff for stay-at-home parenting is odd to me. My mother was a stay-at-home mom until I was about to enter high school, IIRC. It was a luxury that not everyone I know has had, having a stay-at-home mom.

As I mentioned prior, I don't think anyone who has too many other responsibilities can accurately evaluate their potential parenting skills, especially young people. The teens and twenties are a time filled with personal development, teens as they strive to complete high school and get into college, and the twenties as a time to complete college education and job-seek. Before you figure all of that stuff out, how can you even reasonably guess what you will be like trying to parent--you're too preoccupied with your present problems and trials to judge such things.

Regarding discipline: Children are not always rational in the same way that adults are. They may have come to very logically sound conclusions based on their own heuristics and information, even if those conclusions are incorrect from the worldview of an adult (who typically has more, better information, but not always). The idea of someone who is "willful" to the point of actively rejecting logic is positively disgusting to me; I know lots of people who do that exist, but that's not being strong-willed, it's being actively ignorant and anti-reason. I think if I had a kid who turned out like that I'd feed him strychnine.

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