Final Fantasy IX fanfic: A Turn in the Path

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Lady Freya Vanir

Final Fantasy IX fanfic: A Turn in the Path

Unread postby Lady Freya Vanir » Thu Mar 06, 2003 4:33 pm

A Turn in the Path
part I
Hero’s aren’t meant to die.

The two moons hung silently in the night sky. The clouds were still and the ocean calm. Zidane’s tail shivered as the chilly breeze of the night ran across his face. On his shoulder he carried the weight of the battered Kuja.

"Hang in there Kuja."

Zidane whispered as he slowly walked across the Lucid Plains.


Kuja asked managing to lift his he.

"Relax, we're almost there..bro."

Zidane smiled as he adjusted Kuja on his back. Kuja looked into Zidane's determined face. Realizing Zidane wasn't going tell him again he gave in to his exhaustion and closed his eyes. As Zidane slowly walked he sang a song to himself:

Ate mo naku samayotte ita
Tegakari mo naku sagashitsuzuketa
Anata ga kureta omoide o
Kokoro o iyasu uta ni shite

Yakusoku mo suru koto mo naku
Kawasu kotoba mo kimetari mo sezu
Dakishime--soshite tashikameta
Hibi wa nido to kaeranu

Kioku no naka no te o furu anata wa
Watashi no na o yobu koto ga dekiru no?

Afureru sono namida o
Kagayaku yuuki ni kaete
Inochi wa tsuzuku
Yoru o koe
Utagau koto no nai ashita e to tsuzuku

Tobu tori no mukou no sora e
Ikutsu no kioku azuketa darou
Hakanai kibou mo yume mo
Todokanu basho ni wasurete

Meguriau no wa guuzen to ieru no?
Wakareru toki ga kanarazu kuru no ni

Kieyuku unmei de mo
Kimi ga ikite iru kagiri
Inochi wa tsuzuku
Eien ni
Sono chikara no kagiri ni doko made mo

Watashi ga shinou to mo
Kimi ga ikite iru kagiri
Inochi wa tsuzuku
Eien ni
Sono chikara no kagiri ni doko made mo tsuzuku

“What a beautiful song.”

Kuja whispered in Zidane’s ear.

“Where is that from?”

He asked taking a deep breath. Zidane frowns.

“Someone I knew sang that song…”

He answered as Kuja faded into sleep.

"Come on where are you?"

Zidane thought looking around. He stopped in front of some Chocobo tracks, and gently set Kuja down. From his satchel he pulled out some fresh Gashyl greens. He carefully looked around. Out reaching his arm in the air he waved the greens, and started to 'kweh', mimicking the sound of a Chocobo. As soon as he did so he could see Choco running toward him. Choco ran up to him, and after munching down the greens he greeted Zidane by rubbing his beak in his face.

"Alright, alright."

He said with a laugh pushing at Choco's beak.

"Can I get a ride?"

Choco showed his agreement by readying to be mounted. Zidane carefully lifted Kuja onto Choco. Zidane looked Choco in the eye.

"Careful now, he's injured."

Zidane mounted the Chocobo and tightly held on to Kuja to make sure he wouldn't fall.

"Okay, come on! We're taking him to the Black Mage Village."

"Wait! "

A soft voice called out to Zidane from the horizon.


He whispered turning Choco around and trotting toward her.

"How did you get here?"

He asked helping her onto Choco.

"I was on the Red Rose. I went to the Iifa Tree."

"Are you okay? You weren't supposed to go near that place. What if you've gotten hurt?"

Zidane scolded as Choco set of.

"I am fine."

She looked at Kuja and noticed his injuries.

"Is he...."

"Naw, he's fine. Just a little banged up though. Wait, how did you get all this way by yourself? Monsters are everywhere! "

"Actually, I was hardly ever caught. If I was I just ran."

"Well, you should have stayed with Beatrix, where it was safe."

Zidane scolded as Choco turned a corner.

"I couldn’t I...I was worried."

She said wrapping her arms around her brother's torso. Zidane fall silent and a look of guilt ran across his face. He looked ahead at his path.

"I' m sorry I made you worry."

He said tightening his grip on the reigns. From than on the group silently rode through the Forgotten Continent.

"Why couldn't we take the Invisible?"

Mikoto finally asked after a long time.

"When I went back to get it, the Iifa Tree roots had swallowed up the ship. There was no way to get in or get it out. And with Kuja injured like this I couldn't just stop and look for a way to get it out."

Choco ran across the rough terrain of the Forgotten continent with great ease. From high mountains to deep vales, Choco managed to keep a steady speed. With the sun rising in the horizon the Dark Continent grew with light. Streams of red, orange, and yellow ran across the sky. A Zuu flew above head. The early lights of dawn made Zuu's wings glisten. The beauties of the desert plateau made Zidane think of Dagger. It reminded him how her face would light up when they would fly over the continents. Her smile would spread across her face. Relief could be seen in her cheeks, and happiness could be seen in her eyes.

"I'll come home to you Dagger...I promise."

He sighed as he thought to himself.

<p>"I am the beautiful warrior goddess, look at me the wrong way, and I just might miss my target..."
-Freya Vanir

Lady Freya Vanir

Re: Final Fantasy IX fanfic: A Turn in the Path

Unread postby Lady Freya Vanir » Thu Mar 06, 2003 6:04 pm

OOC: *slaps forehead* Beef...that was too long...dang...sorry...^_^ *runs* <p>"I am the beautiful warrior goddess, look at me the wrong way, and I just might miss my target..."
-Freya Vanir

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Posts: 96
Joined: Sun Mar 02, 2003 7:33 am

Re: Final Fantasy IX fanfic: A Turn in the Path

Unread postby ValkyrieShan » Fri Mar 07, 2003 9:59 am

I didn't think that was too long at all, just the right size for my tiny brain ^_^

I don't really think I can critique worth a damn, but I'm going to give this a whirl since I especially like Zidane.

There are a few spelling and grammatical errors, but nothing a quick whizz through spell check wouldn't fix. Most noticeably, Hero's in the title should be Heroes; in the 5th paragraph 'he' should be 'head'; it should probably be 'A Zuu flew overhead'; and there are a few sentences that should be broken up by commas. Like I say, nothing serious.

Zidane is for most part perfectly IC (in character) except for one sentence: “Someone I knew sang that song…”
That doesn't sound quite like something Zidane would say. He'd probably mention Dagger's name, and perhaps the fact that it's 'their' song. He'd probably come over a bit dreamy - eyed too ;]

When Zidane sets off with Mikoto, 'scold' may be a bit too harsh in tone for what he says to her. A nice trick would be to spend a few moments with a Thesaurus (if one is at hand) and find a word similar in meaning but with a softer tone, and perhaps mixed with another emotion such as concern. Unfortunately I don't have a Thesaurus right now and am too stupid to think of a good word for you. The second time it's used is fine.
Similarly, expressions like 'walked slowly' could be replaced with 'trudging' or a similar word.

Some very good parts are where you blend the dialogue in with the actions to make it the story flow better. If you can make this happen more thereby cutting out "He said, she said" in the following paragraphs, it greatly adds to the pleasure of the reader. Of course, this is quite difficult at times since you should be sure the reader knows who has just spoken. You've done it very well on some occassions so I'm just going to point it out so it stays in mind.

If memory serves me well, the ship is called the Invincible.

Personally, I would cut out the entire last sentence completely, I like the way it would end with that last thought in italics. I think it would be a VERY nice touch, but it's up to you.

I hope you find this useful, and will we see more? =D

Lady Freya Vanir

Re: Final Fantasy IX fanfic: A Turn in the Path

Unread postby Lady Freya Vanir » Fri Mar 07, 2003 6:50 pm

OCC: *bows head* Thank you for your criticsm, this one I really didn't check over and did a pretty sketcy job with this other fics are much better than this one....

A Turn in the path
Heroes aren't meant to die

"Come on!"

Baku yells from the Prima Vista's cockpit.

"We gotta find Zidane."

Marcus walks up to the cockpit carrying tools.

"You think Zidane's still alive?"

"Brwhahaha! What kind of dumb question is that? Brwhaha! We'll find him."

With that the Prima Vista sped off. Blank enters the storage room, where Ruby, Marcus, Cinna, Zenero, and Benero wait.

"What are we gonna do ya'll?"

Ruby asked with her thick cowboy accent.

"Baku really thinks Zidane's still alive."

Marcus remarked scratching his chin.

"He's still alive."

Blank scoffed leaning on a wall.

"How do you know?"

Cinna protested waving his fist. Realizing his Hammer was still missing he put his hand down.

"Zidane made a promise to Dagger."

"How do you know?"

Marcus asked with a curious look.

"Baku overheard Steiner talking to Beatrix about it."

Blank replied.

"Well dust my saddles, that don't mean who-haw!"

Ruby stamped her foot.


Blank said waving his hand.

"Zidane never breaks a promise. Especially to a girl."

Blank leaves the room.

"I hope yer right."

Ruby said following him out.

"Yeah, it's no fun around here without him."

Cinna added following Ruby. Marcus sat there scratching his head.

"Well I say he's doing a good job of not being found, if he is alive. I mean it's not this hard to find a dead guy."

He walks out with a smile.

"That was strange."

Zenero said tilting his head.

"Yes indeed." Benero agreed.

"I think he is fine."

Zenero said leaving the room.

"Of course he is, he is Zidane."

Benero giggled on his way out.

In the castle Steiner and Beatrix have no idea what to do with Queen Garnet.

"She's been in so quiet all day."

Steiner a said to Beatrix.

"Yes I know, and it is very upsetting to see her like that."

They watched her walk by. Garnet wore her flowing gown, and walked with her hands clasped in front of her. Her head bowed down; she no longer had the glow of happiness in her eyes.

"She misses him terribly."

Steiner said watching her go by.

"It's not your fault Steiner."

Beatrix said in comfort.

"Sometimes...I think it is."

As Garnet made her way past Steiner and Beatrix they respectfully bowed their heads.

"Good morning your Highness."

Beatrix greeted.

"Good Morning."

She softly replied.

"Did you sleep well?"

Steiner asked with a smile.


She smiled.

"I'm going to head to the kitchen to see what's for breakfast."

She walked away.

"Her highness has been having nightmares."

Beatrix whispered. Steiner turns to her with interest.

"At night I scout the hallways and corridors. I walk pass her room to check on her, and she is tossing and turning, crying for him."

"Oh dear."

"Yes, it is very distressing to see her like this...I doubt he is even alive."


Steiner turns to her.

"We mustn't say such things. I am sure he is alive."


“.... He promised he shall return to her. And for the first time in our travels together; I believed him."

Steiner stands at attention and continues his watch.

"I pray that you are correct. She loves him so..."
<p>"I am the beautiful warrior goddess, look at me the wrong way, and I just might miss my target..."
-Freya Vanir
</p>Edited by: [url=>Lady] at: 3/7/03 7:12:16 pm

Lady Freya Vanir

Re: Final Fantasy IX fanfic: A Turn in the Path

Unread postby Lady Freya Vanir » Sat Mar 08, 2003 7:59 pm

A Turn in the Path
Heroes aren't meant to die

"Are we almost there Zidane?"

Mikoto asked peeking over his shoulder.

"Yeah, the Black Mage Village is just across the forest."

Zidane looked at Kuja's face. He reached his hand to his cheek.

"He's so cold."

He thought to himself. Zidane dismounted Choco in front of the Village.

"Wait for us here 'kay."

He told the patient bird as he lifted Kuja onto his back. Zidane could her Kuja slightly moan from the excruciating pain.

"Come on Mikoto."

Mikoto jumped of Choco and followed Zidane into he Village.

"We don't know anything about medicine."

Black Mage no. 200 said.

"Maybe you can get some herbs for him."

Vivi said looking over Kuja in the bed.

"Herbs? Where am I gonna find some herbs around here?"

Zidane said as he frantically looked through his satchel for something useful.

"I saw some h-herbs outside the Village. The same ones I saw in the medicine book."

Mikoto said pointing outside the hut window.

"Good job."

He said with a smile.

"I'll go and get some. You guys watch Kuja for me. I'll be right back."

Zidane throws his satchel around his waist and runs off. Kuja began to stir in the bed. He slowly opened his eyes. As his eyes focused he scanned the room.

"Where am I?"

he asked in a low, hoarse voice.

"Among friends."

No. 200 replied.

“Where’s Zidane?”

Kuja asked trying to sit up.

“No don’t.”

Vivi warned gently laying him back down.

“Zidane went to get some herbs for your wounds. He’ll be right back.”

Vivi smiled as he pulled the covers onto Kuja. Kuja sighed and laid on his side. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. Two hours had gone by and Zidane finally returned.

“Geez, sorry guys,”

He said entering the hut.

“It took longer to find the herbs I needed. How is he?”

“He woke up a while ago, but fell back to sleep.”

Vivi answered moving over as Zidane moved closer. Zidane knelt down over Kuja. He opened Kuja’s shirt and began rubbing some ointment on his chest. Kuja immediately woke up and began gasping for air.


Zidane said holding him gently. Kuja frantically looked around, he than relaxed seeing Zidane there.

“What was that?”

Kuja asked with a drowsy look.

“Something to help with your breathing. Stared you up quick eh?”

Zidane replied with a laugh. Kuja looked out the hut’s window, as Zidane sat on the floor by his side grinding up herbs.

“Thank you.”

Kuja sighed.

“No problem. That’s what family’s for!”

Zidane grinned.

“But even after what I did?”

“Kuja, are you on that again?”

Zidane interrupted,

“If I told you once, I’ve told you countless times…I doesn’t matter. I want you to forget about it.”

He scratched his chin,

“Start over.”

“Start over?”

Kjua repeated.

“Yeah. Let’s start from the beginning. Hi, I’m Zidane Tribal.”

Zidane held out his hand. Kuja turned his head toward Zidane. He chuckled,

“Greetings, I am Kuja.”

Kuja reached his hand over, and the two shook.


Zidane said as he darted to his feet.


Vivi looked up to Zidane.

“Well one: I finished the medicine, and two: Me and my dear bro here just made up.”

“Well both are good,”

Vivi smiled,


“But what?” Zidane looked at him.

“Maybe you should give him the medicine.”

“Oh, yeah. Hehe. Fine.”

Zidane laughed. Kuja forces the herbal drink down.

“That was disgusting.”

He cringed.

“That means it worked.”

Zidane laughed and tucked Kuja underneath his covers. Zidane, Vivi, and the rest of them left the hut so Kuja may rest.

“We’ll let him rest up and see how he’s doing in the morning.”

Zidane whispered closing the door behind him.

A few weeks pass. Kuja’s recovery was going along nicely. He was up and about exercising his body. Zidane sat on the bridge; tail in the flowing water. A sad and depressed look was upon his face as his tail wagged back and forth in harmony with the wind. Kuja notices his brother’s sorrowful look and walks over to him.

“What’s wrong Zidane?”

He asked placing his hand on Zidane’s shoulder. Zidane sighs and looks up to Kuja.

“I miss her.”

“Than go.”

“But what about you guys?”

“We can take care of ourselves.”

He smiled in reassurance,

“Go on. I bet she misses you too.

“Yo Zidane!”

A familiar voice called. Zidane looks around.

“Brwhaha! Where are you boy?”


Zidane jumps up; hitting his head on the railing he runs toward the sound of Baku’s voice. Zidane dashes around huts and hops over rocks and stones. He turns the corner and finds Baku laughing and Blank calmly leaning against a wall.


Blank smiled.

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

Baku said with a grin.


Zidane runs to his companions.

“Oh, man. How’d you find me?”

“We looked.”

Blank replied.

”Took you long enough. There are only so many places Choco can’t go.”

“That’s no excuse.”

Baku said lifting him up by the collar.

“There’s another reason.”

Zidane hung his head in shame.

“Well?” Baku demanded.

“I was taking care of Kuja…after he recovered it had already been three weeks. I was afraid Dagger might of…”

“You stop right there. What did I tell you if you wanted to be in Tantalus?”

Zidane sighs and looks Baku in the eye.

“We always get our treasure…”

“That’s right! And the poor girl’s been waiting a long time for you.”

“But how am I gonna go back to her now?”

Just than Blank has a thought.

“I got an idea.”

They look at him.

“I want to be your Canary.”

“The play?”

Zidane said finally releasing himself from Baku’s grip.

“Yeah. We’re doing the play in Alexandria for her.”

Blank said with a devious grin.

“I see what your saying. Brilliant Bro’. Well what are we waiting for?”

Zidane was about to charge of, but than Mikoto and Kuja walk up from behind him.

“Bye Zidane.”

Mikoto said in a gentle voice. Zidane stopped in his tracks. He turns around and smiles. He wrapped his arms around her.

“See ya sis. Yake care of yourself.”

“Don’t worry Zidane, we’ll take care of each other.”

Kuja said with a smile.


Zidane smiled warmly and hugged Kuja.

“See ya soon.”

Zidane said as Blank and Baku accompanied him out of the village. Vivi walks up to Kuja and Mikoto.

“I want to be your Canary?”

He said with a happy tone.


Mikoto replied.

“That’s what Zidane said. Do you know of it?”

Kuja asked standing in a rather curious posture.

“I saw that play. It was the day I met Puck and Zidane. Maybe the kids will like to see it?”

Vivi walked off with much delight.
<p>"I am the beautiful warrior goddess, look at me the wrong way, and I just might miss my target..."
-Freya Vanir

Posts: 900
Joined: Fri May 31, 2002 11:20 pm

Re: Final Fantasy IX fanfic: A Turn in the Path

Unread postby Banjooie » Sat Mar 08, 2003 8:53 pm


Well written. o.o

One thing that irks, me, however, and it's a damned well fault of mine, too.

Overabundance of line breaks.

Damned good for script writing, but, y'know. <p><Chat> <Matto says, "What's up?"
<Chat> <Prince_Herb says, "Angst."
<Chat> <Prince_Herb says, "Drama."
<Chat> <Prince_Herb says, "Betrayal."
<Chat> <Prince_Herb says, "Plushies."</p>

Lady Freya Vanir

Re: Final Fantasy IX fanfic: A Turn in the Path

Unread postby Lady Freya Vanir » Sat Mar 08, 2003 9:46 pm

A Turn in the Path
Heroes aren't meant to die

Another day has gone by. Tantalus announced the coming of their play to Queen Garnet, and she was very much delighted to hear that they would be coming, but also very upset. Zidane was gone…and it wouldn’t be the same without him. Tantalus readied for the play. They practiced and rehearsed until every thing was perfect…

That day all of Alexandria came to see Tantalus perform at the Castle. Freya, Quina, Amarant and Lani, Ekio and her newfound family: Regent Cid and Lady Hilda, and Puck and all eight of Vivi’s sons had come to see the play. Dagger was glad everyone had come to see the play, but she was heartbroken that one member of their group would never come back. The play went on without a hitch. Zidane played the hero, ‘Marcus’. He wore a hooded robe to conceal his identity till just the right time.

As one of the scenes began Zidane, playing Marcus, turned to the twin moons that hung in the stage’s background.

‘I pray to thee twin moons. Send to me my beloved Dagger…’

As he uttered these last few words has threw off the cloak and revealed himself to Dagger as she watched the play from the highest balcony. Dagger stood from her seat and ran toward the door, but Beatrix and Steiner stood guard. For that second her spirit was crushed, but than the two knights opened the door and respectively bowed their heads. Dagger was so happy, and couldn’t contain herself. She ran down the spiraling stairs to the doors, which led to the auditorium. She charged through the door nearly knocking down the two Alexandrian soldiers guarding the entranceway.

Dagger pushed her way through the crowded auditorium. As she ran her crystal necklace was torn form her neck. It was the Falcon’s Claw a family heirloom, it meant everything thing to her, but she wouldn’t even stop for that. The Jewel she risked her life for…left there: on the floor. She pulled the tiara from her long black hair and tossed it aside. She jumped, crying, into the arms of the waiting Zidane. He gently stroked her hair as she cried in his arms. She looks up to him and he shrugged and gave a nervous smirk. She pounded on his chest in anger for leaving her alone so long, but she stopped and cried on top of his shoulder. The entire audience cheered with joy, for the couple had been reunited.

“How did you come back?”

Dagger whispered. As he gently stroked her hair he searched in his heart for the answer.

“I sang your song…’Our Song’.”

Zidane and Dagger stood there on stage and shared a passionate kiss.


Image <p>"I am the beautiful warrior goddess, look at me the wrong way, and I just might miss my target..."
-Freya Vanir
</p>Edited by: [url=>pd]&nbsp; Image at: 6/11/05 17:42

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