The Crying Girl on the Fountain - or Story Idea's

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The Crying Girl on the Fountain - or Story Idea's

Unread postby Choark » Tue Feb 18, 2003 4:57 pm

(The following piece was done in one long chunk and so may be riddled with spelling and grammer mistakes. I'm very sorry but I'm in no right mind to pick them out now and far to lazy as well )

I'm not sure if you're meant to do this but this is probably as close to a complete fanfiction as I'll ever get. So if you only like reading complete stories do not read on, this is just samples and ideas I have that will never get told by me in a complete form. Sorry.

What sparked this idea off was thinking about how exactly Choark might have a child.
Who would it be with?
What would she be like?
What problems would arise in there relationship? And would it be a good one?

Now while trying to sleep one night I ended up thinking of a real nice story, at least it was in my mind, but I'm not a story writer, and I lack the skills to draw it to a level I would actually enjoy looking at it.

However I sketched some images down to help me try and remember it in case I ever did do anything with it, and now I'm writing these idea's up.

As far as character development goes, i'm not sure I actually want Choark to have a child yet so this probably won't be part of his "story" and more like a What If" kinda thing.

The idea was Choark would wonder to a town he had never come across before, this hopefully isn't too hard to imagine as he wonders around pointlessly a lot.

In the main square of this town is a giant fountain, with many beautifully crafted human female stone figures around the edges. Pointing to where the sun rose from, greating new comers to the town, in this case Choark, there is a statue of a young woman hunched over, crying into her hands, her hair hiding most of her face.

Out of the blue a woman ( well 18 year old =P ) comes running out into the street holding a sledgehammer with a crowd of upset people trying to catch up to her.

With great anger in her eyes she swings the sledge hammer and destroys one of the statues, then turns and heads towards the girl that is crying. By this time the crowd has been shouting stop it a lot, so Choark decides (finally) that the woman is doing something wrong and should be stopped.

After a bit of a rough and tumble Choark KO's the woman, who then has to be rushed to be taken care of. And thats how the two "lovebirds" first meet.

As I said this isn't complete so there are holes in the story all over the place but Choark stays in the town for a while, catching mice and taking on local strong men.

Its not long before he runs into the woman he KOed again and again. She herself is quite the trouble maker, though most of the time the town seems to turn a blind eye to all she does for some odd reason.

The woman, named Ellena, has two deep scars across her cheek, lots of hair with a long pony/pig's? tail. She starts shouting her mouth off to Choark, talking about him being a wimp and a coward and all, and thusly the two fight again.

This happen a lot, and Choark doesn't seem to mind as he gets to have lots of fights. As time goes on the two get "used" to each other, and while still causing trouble around the town, Ellena seems to at least enjoy her time with Choark.

As time goes on the two actually spend time with each other outside of fights. I was thinking of this happening for a reason, but I don't have any clear idea in my head at the moment.

She is loud mouthed, tends to look on the bad side of people and situations and doesn't fear saying it. She's not an idiot and knows it and dislikes being talked down at. Her relationship isn't very good with her father and her mother had died the day she was born.

She seems to enjoy Choarks outlook on life but dislikes that certain selfishness of his that makes him do whatever he wants and hold litle reguard for those around him unless he knows them personally.

Choark enjoys her openess towards people and the fact she likes fighting. He doesn't understand why she gets deeply upset now and then for no reason or why she hates the statues on the fountain.


As more time passes the secret of her past comes out. Her bloodline is cursed so that whenever a female of that bloodline gives birth, the morning after, as the sun rises, she will turn to stone... effectivly dieing. No magicaian can seem to break the curse, nor any religious priest/cleric. The mother is doomed to never know the love of her child, and the child to grow without a mother.

The girl in the fountain was infact a woman with this curse who gave birth to her child and came to the fountain and wept, facing the rising sun, until turned to stone. From that time is siginied the horrible nature of this curse, and the sorrow and tragedy of the mother.

The two scars on Ellena's cheek was from when she was young and tried to cut out all of her blood in an effort to break her curse.

The situation was little to deep for Choark however and at first he could give little comfort or understanding. Ellena started growing more distant from him, or suddenly get very angry and shout at him for hours on end.

Choark disliked the idea of leaving Ellena though, for reasons he wasn't really sure of. Thinking of her being angry and sad at everything for the rest of her life made something inside in stomach go quesy and he couldn't enjoy his meals.

He started thinking about his curse (his blue hair and unnatural strength), and shared the knowledge of it with Ellena. He explained how everyone in his home had feared him, and kept him away from them. How he had lived his life as an outcast and could never really understand it all.

He thought that maybe Ellena was feeling something similar, that her curse had somehow made everyone fear her.

Though his heart was in the right place it wasn't what was troubling Ellena and the two suddenly stopped talking for a while.

Suddenly finding staying in the town uneasy Choark decided that it was time to go and started heading off until Ellena stopped him, in a raged anger and tear filled shouting speech. Choark, with all that he didn't get about all this and his frustration at having something inside him he didn't understand, joined in and the two shouted at each other.

It ranged from being angry about what the other did, to immature "I hate it when smile at nothing!", to just plain shouting almost nonsence.

The shout feastlivle was cut short when both let out something along the lines of "..cause I care about you!" "Cause I love you!". (Who didn't see that coming? XP)

While Ellena was feeling fear at her love, for all it could bring her was death, or at worst deep sorrow for having to let it go (yeah I'm a romantic at heart ), Choark believed in one thing his Grandfather had told him.

"To love a girl, boy, is to find the greatest gift of strength you'll ever recieve in this world. Use it. Never let go of it. Honour it. When you find this girl sweep her off her feet and take her to the sunset. Be brave and be true." (And most of all never EVER eat her or attack her - but that can be left out =P)

And decided to stay.

For weeks Ellena had to put up with Choark and his simple attemps at love. He constantly came to "Cheer her up" to bringing a dead boar/cow/elephant (XP) as a gift, to "protecting" her. Once he even snatched her up and ran to the sunset, though when it finally set and it was nighttime she made him take her home.

There were some "sweet" moments however, as Choark would often watch over her at night, or simply stare at her. When she noticed and finally questioned he would simple answer "To watch you" or "You smile in your sleep"

Through time Ellena softened and one night on her own, she made up her mind.

The two became lovers, though not without some problems at first, mostly due to Choark and his stupidity. And yes after time she became pregnant, much to the delight of Choark who loves children and the idea of having a child (boy will he have to learn fast).

Ellena showed no signs of depression and indeed she seemed to be spending her time well, taking in everything with a smile and greeting each day as well as she could She found it easier to enjoy life when Choark was around. His love of anything "intresting" and enjoying talking to almost everybody and engeral thirst for life helped her a lot.

The day of the childs birth was odd for Choark. He understood something "brilliant" was taking place but he also understood that Ellena was going to die. And for the first time in his life, he found it hard to except this.

Ellena dissapeared with the child in the night, and if he hadn't been for a ill dream Choark may have slept through it. Running and searching all over the town he finally came across Ellena at the fountain in front of the crying woman.

Choark appraoched her and she turned around, crying, but with a smile on her face.

"I though on this day I would feel nothing but sorrow. I thought my heart would break and cause me to weep so I couldn't watch as the sun rise as it ended my life.

"But... all I feel is love and hope. I know my child will grow up and be happy, I know you'll look after (her/him) to make this so. I know you'll be able to live your life as you do and take it all in as you do.

"I know all this cause I can feel it, in here. I know cause I'll always watch you and my child. I know cause I love you both..." And she held the baby out in front of her for Choark to take hold of (him/her).

As Choark tried to say "I love you" the sun rose behind him and before his eyes she turned to stone, never to move again, the baby still being held in her hands.

Taking his child he watched as the town came alive and come to the scene. Much to his surprise, Choark was crying, hard, and he couldn't stop it. He was angry and more sad then he ever thought he'd be able to feel.

Grabbing hold and swinging his Warhammer round, the angry barbarian walked towards Ellena. Her eath was something he couldn't understand. It left nothing behind that he knew of. Every animal died to become meat for the Earth, or animals or people. This? This was a statue that went against all that.

As he lifted his Warhammer she smiled the same loving smile she had when she held out her child. Swinging his Warhammer round in a giant arc, the staue smashed into a hundred pieces without much resistance... and the weeping girl was no more...

Lifting up Ellena, he placed her on the fountain, watching the rising sun and the world outside her town...

...Choark left with his child shortly afterwards.

... the town from that time forward was often asked about the woman on the fountain who seemed to welcome all visitors with the most loving gaze they had seen, greating them with held out hands.

The towns people would often chuckle to themselves and answer them, telling how even when facing certain death a mother could only look to her child with hope for the future, and love in her heart...

And thats it.

Yes I know it a very typical love tradedy story and Yes I am a sucker for those sorts of things, as long as they have an element of comedy or action in it of course. This one having a bit of both.

Its not too well thought out, but I thought the whole idea was pretty nice and the basic story elements were good. Like I said this is how far I go with it. I do not write too often and really I'm not that good at it. I might daw a few odd pictures of it now and then but little much else.

I hope you don't mind me sharring the idea however, and maybe even enjoy it.

Here's a page sketching I did. Its poor quality cause I had to down the brightness and up the contrast just so you could make it out ^^

...actually having trouble at the mo so I'll upload it later and then put it up by editing this bit.

Hope this isn't against any fanfiction area rules or something. << >>


Re: The Crying Girl on the Fountain - or Story Idea's

Unread postby Choark » Tue Feb 18, 2003 8:48 pm

Oh yeah - this is why I write these things down as I always forget something - the first statue Ellena smashed up was that of her mother - as she obviously was victim to the curse as well.

I think i had something else but in the short time it took for me to write this I plain forgot... darn!

P.S. I never finalised the reason why the curse took place. Probably a angry lover of somesort - or a jelous suiter of some kind... ... with power enough to make a curse obviously.

Uncle Pervy

Re: The Crying Girl on the Fountain - or Story Idea's

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Tue Feb 18, 2003 9:23 pm


Dun worry, ye broke no rules. Outlines are fine.

Amusing idea, I think. The Curse should have an origin. Perhaps Ellena I was an adventuress herself, and incurred a fair deal of divine (or Demonic or Celestial) wrath in her travels? <p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image ImageImage</div></p>

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Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2002 11:36 pm

Re: The Crying Girl on the Fountain - or Story Idea's

Unread postby bunnygirle78 » Thu Feb 20, 2003 1:07 am

Well, you have a great Idea Cho. But why not go ahead and write it. Sometimes if you sit down, the words will just flow out of you like water. It seems that that might have happened when you were writing the summery. I think you have a great idea, and I'd love to read it when you post it.

Image <p>Sometimes when I se squirls I feel the urge to kill. . .is that wrong?</p>Edited by: [url=>pd]&nbsp; Image at: 6/11/05 17:26

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