A fun fic, not really any purpose.

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A fun fic, not really any purpose.

Unread postby WillBaseton » Wed Feb 05, 2003 12:49 am

Here's something I wrote up for English class. Figured you guys might like reading it. It's a rewrite of the Three Little Pigs. Enjoy!

I’m the Big Bad Wolf. This is my story. You’re probably wondering, “Aren’t you dead? Didn’t the last pig eat you?” Well, you’re right. I am dead. But, I’ve been allowed to tell the story to you, with all of the gritty details. This is MY story.

Well, it all started one morning. I was hungry. REALLY hungry. I hadn’t eaten for days. So I came upon this little house made out of straw…and I smelled pork. No, bacon. CANADIAN bacon. The smell drove me crazy! (scent) So, I walked up to the door and knocked. Maybe this pig was stupid enough to let me in. After all, he DID make his house out of straw.

“Little pig, little pig, let me come in.” That stupid bacon-factory was smarter than I thought. He knew I was up to something. “Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin”, he said. Well, I got mad. I decided to get in that house. I was hungry and he was breakfast.

“Won’t let me in? Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house IN!” And I did just that. His house fell down like a week-old corn stalk. That pig was cooked. No, I mean it. I cooked him. Ham and bacon sandwiches are good breakfast. Didn’t taste like chicken, though... (taste) Well, that’s what you get for not helping a hungry neighbor.

Soon, it was lunchtime, and I was hungry again. So I came across another house, but this one was made of sticks. And I smelled honey-glazed ham. It smelled delicious…I HAD to have it! So I tried asking again. “Little pig, little pig, won’t you please let me in?”

“Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!” This one was smart, just like breakfast. Too bad I like smart meals. “Won’t let me in,” I said, “then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll BLOW your house in!” Which I did. He tasted great as a ham sandwich. Another meal down.

At dinner time, I was hungry again. To my surprise, I came across a house made entirely of bricks. And it smelled like pork chops. The perfect dinner. So, I walked up to the door. “Little pig, little pig, won’t you let me come in?”

"Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!” This was getting old. But, I was hungry. “So, you won’t let me in, will you?” I got mad. “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’LL BLOW YOUR HOUSE IN!” Which I tried. And I tried. And I tried. But no matter what, the house wouldn’t fall in. But then I noticed it. A chimney. Sticking out of the roof…I could get into the house from there! (sight) So I jumped onto the roof and climbed in the chimney. Well, I ended up in the pig’s stew. Can you believe that? While looking for dinner, I ended up as dinner.

So, the pig ate me. Yes, that’s right. The PIG ate ME. Guess I shouldn’t have bitten off more than I could chew… <p>
Dragons own you. Don't even waste your time trying to argue.

And now, my quote of the whenever: "Whaddaya MEAN there's no treasure?!?" - Will Baseton</p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=willbaseton>WillBaseton</A]&nbsp; Image at: 2/5/03 12:10:50 am

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pd Rydia
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Re: A fun fic, not really any purpose.

Unread postby pd Rydia » Wed Feb 05, 2003 1:59 pm


I remember doing stuff like this. We had to do a retake on a fairy tale once, and then in 8th grade we had to spoonerize a fairy tale...I did the "Three Piggle Ligs". o_o I still have a copy of it around here somewhere...maybe I'll type it up sometime. <p>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">-=- "Bah, my past was full of drinking and polymorph spells." -- Hakaril (Archmage144)
-=- "I wanna get so drunk that I start seeing my friends as cows." -- Aya (LadyDragonClawsEDW)
-=- "If you're still able to see in colors and not in scents...you're CERTAINLY not drunk enough." -- Nakibe
-=- "LET'S ALL RUN FREE, NAKED, AND DRUNK!" -- Shirinai</span></p>

Uncle Pervy

Re: A fun fic, not really any purpose.

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Wed Feb 05, 2003 2:02 pm

Heh heh.

There is actually a published version of this kind of version of the Three Little Pigs out there, somewheres. It was quite amusing.

Interestingly done, Will.

Image <p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image ImageImage</div></p>Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=pdrydia>pd]&nbsp; Image at: 6/11/05 17:04

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