And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

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Squintz Altec
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And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby Squintz Altec » Tue Jan 14, 2003 5:57 pm


*crappy game show music plays*

Welcome to...GREATEST HITS! And now for your hosts, the most oxymoronic (and we mean that in a VERY bad way,) duo, Squintz and Dhargun!

*both enter in a display of flashing lights. These lights later are reported to give seizures to children, and 10 people die due to them.*

Dhargun: Thank you, thank you! Oh, stop applauding. No need to applaud, just throw me your wives. Except you, sir. *points to a man in the audience* You can keep her.

*audience stops applauding*

Squintz: Well, we have a great show today!

Dhargun: That we do. We have recently learned of the untimely death of possibly the GREATEST RP IN THE HISTORY OF MAN.

Squintz: ...and as we love to preserve the lovely, we're presenting you with...


Squintz: So just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!


It was August 13, 999. The millenia was closing in and the Cult of Death was begining to awaken once more. The Gems of the Elements have found their new masters. Looking for them the Cult will take no prisoners. Destroying all that stand in their way of obtaining their gems to begin the Apocolypse..........

It was a cold night. Thalakos had just finished his latest mission to do another lame treasure hunt. Of course it didnt suceed. None of them do. There is no real treasure in this world. Everyone is rich how is it possible to find more treasure? As he began walking toward the inn Thalakos looked toward the sky and saw a flaming ball heading straight towards him. Running towards the inn as fast as possible but unable to escape the his fiery death. "I dont want to die!" The flaming ball hits him in the was three hours before he awoke. A large whole gapped in his clothing where the ball hit yet the skin looked....untouched. How is this possible?! It hit me clear in the chest, he thought to himself. The sun was rising on the City of Malkir. Picking himself up he walked towards the inn. Opening the door he stumbles to the bar. "A pint of ale please." Turning around he looked at the bar. A large man glaced back and him. "What areee you lookin at boy?" Shrugging it off Thalakos looks around the rooms. Feeling a sharp pain in his shoulder he looks to his right and notices the large man holding a small sword. "Next time i talk to yah answer me or im gonna do something worse than stick this in yer shoulda boy!" Becoming angry Thalakos pushes him away when all of a sudden his hands become their on fire. "Aggghhh",he screams. A sudden burst of fire is released from his hands and the large man tumbles out the door ripping at his fiery clothing. The bartender, with his shaking hands Thalakos the ale. "How much sir?" "N..n..nothing!" Shreiking in terror the bartender runs back to his kitchen. What happened back there? Thalakos gets the feeling this isnt the end of weird happenings.

Dhargun: Hey, are we gonna understand this?
Squintz: I came prepared. *pulls out a Dumbass-to-English dictionary, and translates*
Dhargun: There's nothing better than getting your destiny from a flaming ball.
Squintz: Well, if it's the will of Justice...
Dhargun: ...

Thalakos looking puzzled looked at the others. "Wh..Whats going on? HOW THE HELL DID I DO THAT!" Looking at his own hands he trembled. Remembering the fireball that had hit him only hours before and rubbed his chest. The first thought that ran through his mind was Magic. But how could this be?! Hed read about magic in books and heard of it in fairy tales but it always went to someone deserving of the power. Looking around the room again Thalakos asked, "Who are you people?"

Squintz: Basically, he's saying that he doesn't deserve magic.
Dhargun: Yeah, that sounds about right.

-He Whose Name I Dare Not Speak (Lord shadowbitch)-
"The Cult of Death is planning to use those granted with the Gems in their plans to turn the world into a barren wasteland of blood and death."said Eden
"Thats about it"

Dhargun: ......... *bangs head on wall*
Squintz: You have to admire their nonchalance about this, though.
Dhargun: I'm sorry, Dhargun is not avaliable to take your call. Please leave a message at the sound of the beep...

"I want us to avoid the cult as much as possible"Said Eden "In fact if it helps i'll even get us out of this inn now we have drawn too much attenthion to ourselevs the cult is already here there blocking the door so we'll have to go out "The backdoor".
With that he raised hs hand and aimed it at a wall,Suddnly a black vortex apperead and sucked away the wall.
Suddnly a cult member walked in the room "Halt you are the gem keepers" said the cult member.
without a word Eden threw another Shadow Blade at the cult member,It hit and killed him in a single shot.
"Lets go out the Backdoor i made quick before more follow him".

Squintz: Talk about your coincidences...
Dhargun: Beeep!
Squintz: *smacks Dhargun*
Dhargun: ..wha...what? OH GOD WHY IS THIS NOT A DREAM?

Moveing swiftly Eden jumped through the vortex,Only he expected th small group of cult members standing outside the vortex's exit,With another wave of his hand the vortex shot at the cult members,Swalloing them as soon as it hit them.

Dhargun: Can you say..."godmode?"
Squintz: Why yes I can. Godmode.
Dhargun: *facepalm* No, you dolt. I mean...this guy can take on all of Doma...with both hands tied behind his back, jumping on one leg, and singing a merry Irish jig!
Squintz: Yeah, and don't forget about the pot roast that he could simmer to perfection while doing that too.

Suddnly Eden felt a pain in the back of his head.
"No...i can't not here"
Then as he started to grip his head in pain,a voice was in his head.
"Eden give me control of your mind" the voice said
"Fine" said Eden to himself
Suddnly he started Cackiling madly
He laughed as he pulled out his katana.

Squintz: *translating* And so, the player of Eden decided his character was not stupid enough, and so made him go on a murderous rampage.
Dhargun: You know, if I had a voice that ordered command of my head, I wouldn't just give it up, I'd fight for it!
Squintz: And still lose.
Dhargun: SHUT UP!

Announcer: Well, we're going to take a short commerci-

Squintz: FIEND! JUSTICE! *throws holy energy at Dhargun*
Dhargun: ANARCHY! *throws shadow energy at Squintz*

Announcer: ...okay, a LONG commercial break. Be right back! <p>

<div style="text-align:center">Image
People, the edit button is your friend. Use it.</div></p>

Uncle Pervy

Re: And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Tue Jan 14, 2003 6:08 pm

Image I laughed out loud several times. Well done, Adam!

Image Oh Gods it hurts! Please make it stop! Please! The pain! Owowowow! My soul! >O<

Image: She didn't take it so well though. Angels are more sensative to the wrongness, I guess. <p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image ImageImage</div></p>

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pd Rydia
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Re: And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby pd Rydia » Tue Jan 14, 2003 7:15 pm

Inner Elements makes Baby Dia cry. ='{{{

This makes it better though. :] <p>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">-=- "Got Dragonale?" -- Richard Storm (Nakibe)
-=- "Bah, my past was full of drinking and polymorph spells." -- Hakaril (Archmage144)
-=- "I REJECT YOUR PRESENCE!" -- CaptainPervy (UnclePervy)
-=- "What. In. The. @#%. Are. You. Two. Doing?" -- Hzar (Banjooie)</span></p>

Posts: 1090
Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2002 6:47 pm

Re: And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby LadyDragonClawsEDW » Tue Jan 14, 2003 7:53 pm

And then Nher'zul of Warcraft3 fame stormed in and summoned a lawsuit on Herbert! See Idiot Vs. Undead on the next Judge Judy!

(Great Fic, keep writing it! RAWR!) <p>
Image One hat to rule them all.</p>

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Re: And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby Endadelta » Tue Jan 14, 2003 8:05 pm

Dude.. just check the AWESOME plot twist Inner Elements made. He's calling all of us GAY. :{

.. and I have too much integrity to grope him. Help, someone. <p>

Image <span style="color:red;font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;">Son Gohan wants you to visit the</span> DB(Z) Manga Shrine!</p>

Squintz Altec
Posts: 1056
Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2002 1:54 pm

Re: And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby Squintz Altec » Tue Jan 14, 2003 9:04 pm

Announcer: And we now return, to INNER ELEMENTS...GREATEST HITS!

*the stage looked burnt badly, and certain areas are scratched with sword marks and punctures. A squad of white mages are busy healing up several audience members, and carting off the carcasses of several more for immediate revival. Squintz and Dhargun look battered, with several bruises, and a cut in Dhargun's breastplate.*

Squintz: Sorry about that, esteemed viewers. We had a little bit of...creative differences.

Dhargun: Creative? You mean the horseshit you used on me was CREATIVE? My dead mother is more creative than you. What the hell is Justice for a spell name? Huh? HUH?

Squintz: *trying to ignore* ANYWAYS, we have our next installment of THE BEST RP THE UNIVERSE HAS EVER SEEN.

Dhargun: Indeed. When <insert God/Goddess of choice> created, THIS is what they had in mind. For we mere mortals can never hope to achieve what this RP has.

Squintz: *nods* Here we go!


Laying down on the carpet Thalakos fell into a deep sleep filled with nightmares.
"The preperations are ready master." "Good good yes, get me my staff and cloak and we shall see what is happening." The unknown black clad figure runs to the closet rack and grabbed his masters cloak and staff. "Here you are master," The lacky gave them to him. The master puts on the cloak and begins walking out the door. He exits his throne room into the pentagram room. "Neth Talak Mishanontu, Neth Talak Mishanontu." A large black orb appeared from no where. "Now lets see where those bastards are." Looking deeply into the orb a small forest appears. Then a cave. Inside a cave there are people. "Yes, thats them, TURIN!" he yelled. "Yes milord?"
I want a gargoyle sent there for scouting and when he finds the exact location tell me until then." Turin ran out of the room. "Soon, very soon i Valdearg the greatest of all the Deathknights shall soon call upon the apocolipse. HAHAHAHA" The laughter fades off into the distance.

Dhargun: Uh oh, I sure hope that the apocolipse isn't as bad as the APOCALYPSE.
Squintz: Now, now. You got to give this Valdearg some respect. After all, he's trying to KILL the players.
Dhargun: Seeing the RP so far, as long as this guy can walk straight, it won't be too hard.

Thalakos mumbles in his sleep. Staying asleep through the whole fight.

Squintz: *translating* Thalakos, knowing he could have killed the gargoyle in one blow and only using .01% of his power, pretened to be asleep, and dreamed of his mother in a sexual manner.
Dhargun: I don't believe he'd want to sleep instead of showing off his power.
Squintz: Yeah, but this is his MOTHER we're talking about.

Thalakos mumbles and awakens. "Ahh, i feel much better now! Anyone got something to eat im starving!"
Meanwhile: The gargoyle has arrived at Valdeargs lair. Valdearg personally sees to Edens captivity. "Yes you are a very strong warrior. Maybe after we destroy this worlds inhabitance you shall serve as a general in my army!" Valdearg chained up Eden in his dungeon and left him be. "Guards, if he tries anything funny run as fast as possible to get me and ill kill him myself. If you lay a finger on him ill have your soul torchered for all eternity!" About an hour later Eden awoke...

Squintz: You know, isn't it counter productive if the guards have to go crying to their master, rather than killing him themselves?
Dhargun: No, not at all. You see, Eden has a power level of 345325234542364643. The guards have a power level of -1. Therefore, only Valdearg, who has a power level yet unknown, could stop Eden. On another note, I don't want to be torchered.
Squintz: Hn. It sounds like they set you on fire randomly for all eternity.
Barak: *poofs in* What's wrong with fire?
Squintz and Dhargun: *roll eyes*

"well listen here you sun of a ***** i'm gonna kick your ass if you don't let me out of here right now!"shouted Eden
about a half an hour later Eden was in a straight jacket siting in the maximum security dugeon..

Barak: ...and where was he before?
Squintz: The minimum security dugeon?
Dhargun: Probably. How else would Eden escape?
Squintz: You forgot the fact that Eden is a godmode character.
Dhargun: Oh, right.

Meanwhile: Valdearg entered the room where Eden was being held. "I see your awake and have had to be put into a stronger prison. What a shame i thought we could have been friends. Now as you know i want your gem to use it in my spell now i shall give you the choice now. Join me in my attempts in capturing the rest of the gems or i shall allow you to rot until your almost dead."

Squintz: *reading medical journal* I don't think it's possible to rot UNTIL you're dead...
Barak: What disturbs me most is that this guy wants to be "friends" with Eden.
Dhargun: More like "Butt Buddies."
Squintz: DHARGUN! Keep it G!
Dhargun: I am. G, for "God DAMN, that's raunchy!"
Squintz and Barak: ....

Announcer: We now shall take another short break! See you soon! <p>

<div style="text-align:center">Image
People, the edit button is your friend. Use it.</div></p>Edited by: [url=>Squintz]&nbsp; Image at: 1/14/03 8:09:32 pm

Posts: 1090
Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2002 6:47 pm

Re: And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby LadyDragonClawsEDW » Tue Jan 14, 2003 9:13 pm

Then the whole undead race including the Paladin-turned-Deathknight Arthas joined Nher'zul in his lawsuit against Herbert! <p>
Image One hat to rule them all.</p>

Uncle Pervy

Re: And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Tue Jan 14, 2003 9:25 pm

*Enlil weeps in the corner* <p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image ImageImage</div></p>


Re: And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby SALSAlys » Wed Jan 15, 2003 10:28 am

And Fireblaze wonders if Dhargun asking for wives of audience members means he can castrate the drow with a rusty cheesegrater.

Anyway, annoy the cranky fire elemental. ^_^

Blaze Yamato Spirit

Re: And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby Blaze Yamato Spirit » Wed Jan 15, 2003 2:20 pm

If I were a godmoder, I'd FEAR this guy's mad skillz, oh yes I would indeed.

Arthas the Death Knight o

Re: And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby Arthas the Death Knight o » Wed Jan 15, 2003 7:30 pm

Hey! What kind of stunt are you trying to pull, Herbie! I'll have you know that those Gargoyles and the Cult of Death are MINE ALONE to command! I'm gonna sue you!

Lich King Nherzul

Re: And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby Lich King Nherzul » Wed Jan 15, 2003 7:46 pm

Actually the cult of death is MINE. Either way once I finish this ritual needed to summon my lawyers from the Great Beyond, I shall be seeing you in court.


Re: And now...Inner Elements...GREATEST HITS!

Unread postby viator22 » Thu Jan 23, 2003 9:37 pm

*can't stop laughing at this thread*

Write some more. I need it. Come on, just a little one? <p>-------
Once a GM (game master, supreme ruler of the RP, whatever you call it) has his players, they elope and are united in a beautiful ceremony somewhere in central Nebraska, and they live happily ever after. ~ White Knight Delta


"bumps" Squintz with the business end of a spear

Unread postby viator22 » Thu Feb 06, 2003 2:05 am


Uncle Pervy

Re: "bumps" Squintz with the business end of a spe

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Thu Feb 06, 2003 3:44 am


Herbert's era is dead and gone.

<p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image ImageImage</div></p>

The Duelist
Posts: 450
Joined: Mon Jul 01, 2002 4:09 pm

Re: "bumps" Squintz with the business end of a spe

Unread postby The Duelist » Mon Feb 10, 2003 8:25 pm

Having participated in the beginning of Inner Elements, I have no choice but to say...


Hehhehehehehe... <p>---
"Hah! Your pig fiance is too late! Just a few more steps and we will be safe in the Fire Swamp!"..."We'll never survive"..."Nonsense! You're only saying that because no one ever has."-Westley and Buttercup

Vizzini: Finish him! Finish him, your way!
Fezzik: Oh good, my way. Thank you Vizzini... which one's my way?
Vizzini: Pick up one of those rocks, get behind a boulder, in a few minutes the man in black will come running around the bend, the minute his head is in view, hit it with the rock!
Fezzik: My way's not very sportsman-like.-Vizzini and Fezzik


Squintz Altec
Posts: 1056
Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2002 1:54 pm

Re: "bumps" Squintz with the business end of a spe

Unread postby Squintz Altec » Mon Feb 10, 2003 9:16 pm

I originally did this to mock Herbie, but since he's gone, there's no point in continuing this. Pretty much, the RP makes fun of itself. So, why have someone else do it? <p>

<div style="text-align:center">Image
People, the edit button is your friend. Use it.</div></p>


Re: "bumps" Squintz with the business end of a spe

Unread postby SuperRube » Mon Feb 10, 2003 9:53 pm

Some times... I wonder what herbie is doing right now.

But then the high wears off and I stop.

Image <p>

"Just let me bitch. It's the only thing I'm good at."</p>Edited by: [url=>pd]&nbsp; Image at: 6/11/05 16:55

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