Mermaid Dreams (gee, how original)

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SALSAlys
 

Mermaid Dreams (gee, how original)

Unread postby SALSAlys » Tue Nov 19, 2002 10:37 am

(So... yep yep. Playing around with some new characters based on the elements.... and since apparently a certain nasty somebody is going to be draining their energy... well, they're worried. It's not even an EXCITING fanficcy, but it's just... I dunno. ^_^ Kept having it stuck in my head, probably because I arpee Myrmias like a brick. A brick stuck in camel dung, at that.)

Myrmias lay on her rock, pastel blue tail gently curled on the slick surface. Her large eyes, the color of the verdant ocean wave, with their subtly tilted corners, were half-lidded, giving her a dreamy, vacuous look as she absently trailed aqua-green, slightly silvery fingers in the ocean water about her. Webbed ears protruded through jewel-toned, amethyst hair, and the gentle waves and ringlets fell down her back gracefully, teased by the faint spray of the tide and the sea breeze.

The angel, porcelain-pale and with china-blue eyes, burst out "How can you be so calm?" Her luminous golden hair was tied into a slightly disshevelled bun, with two decorative tendrils dangling by her ears, and her white wings were mantled about her against the spray. Oddly enough, the slight damp didn't show on her robes, which were tied with a golden belt.

The mermaid merely smiled beatifically. "Isn't it lovely, Phyllias? It's just easier..."

"Phyllias is right," growled the other woman. Her aura was far different than the others; neither dreamy nor perfectionistic, the ambiance she exuded was one of danger and barely suppressed rage, kept sharply in check by self-discipline. Currently a nekojin, her fur was orange and her short, crisply cut hair was bright red. Chic bangs, longer than the main body of hair, framed her face as her tail lashed behind her angrily. Despite it, though, she seemed exhausted, but determined to keep slugging on. "You've just been too out of contact with all the other elementals, you fool mermaid. And now you expect to just sit out here and keep daydreaming?"

"Why not?" Myrmias replied langorously. "Things get too complex the more you associate with mortals... I will do my part to stop whatever force is trying to drain our kind, but after that..." She shrugged.

Hissing, the nekojin marched over to Myrmias, unheeding of the water soaking her fur as she grabbed the mermaid by the shoulder, shaking her and causing her eyes to fly open.

"Listen to me, Myrmias. Get over your dreams and join reality."

Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=salsalys>SALSAlys</A] at: 11/19/02 9:41:30 am

SALSAlys
 

Re: Mermaid Dreams (gee, how original)

Unread postby SALSAlys » Wed Nov 20, 2002 10:32 am

Myrmias stared at the succubus, with the same glazed, fearful expression of the mouse's last look at the adder. "How?"

"Get over your dreams. Stop keeping your head in the clouds and just join the rest of us. Make your dreams reality, girl. Otherwise what's the use of dreaming?" she snapped.

"Shika..." Her voice quavered. "I— I'm not that..."

Shikhaela swore a highly creative oath. "Yesterday was the most emotion I've seen you show in nearly a century. Even though you hate Meldon, if being around him really makes you wake up that much, I'm going to drag you over to him every chance I—"

"No!" Myrmias shrieked. "It was bad ENOUGH—"

The angel covered her ears, wincing. "Myrmias, enough! What happened?"

Myrmias blinked, tears welling up. Shikhaela looked unsympathetic as she flatly announced "One of the mages was refusing to help, so I figured... well, he had a thing about mermaids. Me, being a sooky, figured that if Myrm here could act a bit snuggly, it might help our case."

Phyllias winced. "Shika..."

"C'mon. I can't help the way I think, 'kay? I'm a hedonist and proud of it," retorted Shika, flicking her ears back. "So I asked her to do it, but due to some other stuff the guy had done, she wasn't totally into it. Finally just went away and scrubbed herself a lot to rinse off the 'taint'. Even rinsed her mouth because of the kiss I made her do, remember? That happened to be about when you walked in. And admit it, Phyl. That was more out of her than we've seen for a long time."

"Open revulsion? You have a point there..." Phyllias murmured, glancing at Myrmias speculatively.

"Besides, revulsion's just fear, alright? Not even that thinly disguised."

"Why would I be afraid?" asked Myrmias, trying to recover her dreamy lassitude.

Laughing bitterly, Shikhaela answered "Because you're scared. Scared of what might happen to us. Admit it. And it's easier to take it out on somebody than it is to admit that you're scared. Meldon w as a nice channel, wasn't he?"

The mermaid didn't answer.

"Look, you've been so caught up in your dreamy world of wishful thinking and closeting yourself away from all other elementals for so long... well, you're starting to lose your ability to feel. And what good would life be then, hm?"

"Shika... I think you made your point," the angel said softly.

"I didn't drive it home enough," snarled Shika, disappearing angrily. A cloud of faint green mist lingered where she had been, smelling faintly of roses and peppermint.

Phyllias and Myrmias looked where the succubus had been, and sighed.

"She's right, Myrmias."

Myrmias remained silent.

"...you're scared. We all are. She's right... it's easier to take out your fear on somebody else than it is to admit to the fear. And that's what she's doing."

Myrmias turned away.

"Myrmias?"

A faint, muffled sound came from the mermaid, and Phyllias realized she was crying.

"Myrmias...." she whispered, wading to the mermaid's rock. "Please, Myrmias..."

Purple hair flung itself out in the force of Myrmias' head turn. Even crying, Myrmias retained the ethereal, dream-like beauty she had tried so hard to cultivate, the tears glistening like liquid diamond as they trickled down her cheeks.

"I'm not that strong," she whispered. "I'm not as s trong as Shikhaela, or even you... Shika's all fire and fury, strength and passion... almst literally, too, the way she stays with Lord Fireblaze's crew. But me..." She laughed brokenly."I'm just a silly mermaid playing in the foam and trying to build castles out of dreams. I've always wanted a knight in shining armor to rescue me... Shikhaela used to say she'd rescue herself, remember? I just... I'm not that strong. I— I envy her for it."

Consolingly, Phyllias tucked her wings about Myrmias, embracing her. "I know you you feel."


Uncle Pervy
 

Re: Mermaid Dreams (gee, how original)

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Thu Nov 21, 2002 9:56 am

Lys, overall this is a nice scene. Does a bit to build up a few of the characters you've been poofing in rather suddenly as of late. ^_^

But.

Quote:
Me, being a sooky, figured that if Myrm here could act a bit snuggly, it might help our case


Lys, no one ever, ever uses their own race to justify their way of thinking. Ever. It's like saying, for example, "Since I's a Nekojin, I figured that (whatever)"

I know you didn't intend that, but that line has utterly got to be changed. I suggest:

"I figured that if Myrm here could act a bit snuggly, it might help our case."

Or,

"Let's just say experience has taught me that being a little snuggly never hurts, and Myrm was just the one to do it."

That will also make Shika's next line seem less susp[/quote] <p>Image Image Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits. That's th' life fer me. Image Image</p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=pdrydia>pd]&nbsp; Image at: 12/16/02 7:08:36 pm

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Re: Mermaid Dreams (gee, how original)

Unread postby pd Rydia » Mon Dec 16, 2002 8:17 pm

A quibble. Verdant means green, like a plant...did you mean to use that to describe an ocean wave? It is kinda blue-green...

There's a few other typos, just technical stuff, really. The piece is interesting, I like the emotion...but there needs to be more. ={{{


Image <p><div style="text-align:center">
"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...an F.N.W.C.!"
-- VampireJesterJinx (VA by...Dia! :D!)</div></p>Edited by: pd Rydia&nbsp; Image at: 6/10/05 17:44


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