Foundling.

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BrainWalker
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Foundling.

Unread postby BrainWalker » Wed Nov 13, 2002 12:02 am

First things first. I'm not really sure what right I have to post a fic here and expect any response, since I've been horribly negligent to this forum Image However, I thought I'd give this sort of thing a shot, and see what people thought. I mean, the only way to get better as a writer is to share your work, right?

Secondly, this is the backstory I wrote up for my second philsys character, Rock, so it's a little abridged in some spots. Yes, that is is full name, for reasons explained herein Image

Well, having explained all that... umm... I hope you enjoy!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Foundling

Kumajin adventurers are actually very, very rare. Generally, kumajin are content to remain at, or near their home communnities, helping each other and living off mother nature's bounty. It should follow, then, that Rock is not your average kumajin.

Rock doesn't actually remember much of his early childhood. He was found as a wounded orphan by a monk that was part of a secluded mountain monastery northwest of Riva. Unaware of the existance of kumajin, and unsure what to do with the cub, the monk brought young Rock to his master. The old master, having knowledge of demi-humans, was unafraid of young Rock, but was still wary, and decided that when he was able, he should be left where he was found, to fend for himself. However, his eldest daughter Hanako took pity on young Rock and persuaded her father to allow the obviously physically capable youth to stay with them, and train with them until such a time as he was able to find his home, and return to it.

Hanako, being unable to have children of her own, filled that void in her life with the kumajin cub. Rock proved to be a loving and obedient child, although his natural strenght tended to get him into trouble. However, it also proved valuable to him in his training. As time passed, Rock became quite proficient in the order's martial arts, and was ranked among their greatest fighters. However, he was unable to grasp the magical aspects of his training, and was often teased about it. Atlhough Rock had a strong will, and such things never bothered him, he was often defended, usually against his will, by his best friend, the Elder's youngest daughter, Sakura, who was about the same age. Although she was a bit of a tomboy, and even insisted on being allowed to train as a fighter, Rock found in her a kindred spirit, and they were inseperable.

As Rock and Sakura grew, so did their relationship. However, the old master was not overly fond of the idea of his daughter being intimate with a demihuman, and let them know this in a subtle, and yet very clear manner. Thus, their relationship remained at a plateau for quite some time. It was during this time that one of Rock's expeditions led him to a kumajin villiage in the dense forest at the western foot of the mountains. For the first time, Rock was among his own kind. Of course, the villiagers were surprised to find that one of their own had been living amongst humans, but welcomed the young kumajin nonetheless. They shared with him the knowledge and custom of the kumajin. However, they could not provide him with information about his family, and Rock remained ignorant of his lineage, or even his age. Although he enjoyed the company and lifestyle of the kumajin, Rock still felt most at home at the monastery, and of course, with his surrogate mother Hanako, and best friend Sakura. Thus his life continued for several years, venturing back and forth between the kumajin villiage and the monastery.

Although Rock and Sakura loved and respected the old master very much, a father's influence is only so strong. On the evening of her nineteenth birthday, a day on which Rock's birth had also come to be celebrated, since the true date of his birth was a mystery, the elder's youngest engaged Rock in deep conversation, in which their true feelings for one another were revealed. However, her mother caught them in an intimate moment, and, not knowing what else to do, informed her husband. The old master was, of course, furious, and sought out the kumajin to deliver an ultimatum. Either Rock must face him in a test of strength and skill, or be forced to leave the monastery. Rock loved and respected the old master, and besides that, knew that he was no match for the old man's skill, even if he was the stronger of the two. Therefore, he left the monastery, but not before promising to return someday and answer his master's challenge.

Rock spent the next year and a half living in the kumajin villiage, helping with defense and construction. However, his close proximity to the monastery, and his unability to forgive himself for abandoning his love weighed heavily on his heart. Soon, Rock left the villiage in search of adventures to test, and sharpen his skills, so that one day, he would be able to live up to his promise to his former master.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

<p><div style="text-align:center">Image</div></p>

Uncle Pervy
 

Re: Foundling.

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Wed Nov 13, 2002 12:42 am

As a Narrative, this is not bad. Concise and informative.

As a Fic, I would say to show us the scenes, rather than simply tell us what happened. RP 'em out, for lack of a better way to explain it :P

An excellent narrative, or an excellent framework for a true fic, it is your choice. <p>Image Image Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits. That's th' life fer me. Image Image</p>

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BrainWalker
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Re: Foundling.

Unread postby BrainWalker » Wed Nov 13, 2002 5:29 pm

Yea... it's in narrative form right now 'cause, as I said, this is what's on his character sheet. If I were going to make an actual fic out of it, which I might, 'cause it's a neat story, it'd be helluva long. Like, each paragraph would be a seprarate chapter. Or two.

Thanks for the input, UP. I'm glad you liked it! Image <p><div style="text-align:center">Image</div></p>

Nekogami
 
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Re: Foundling.

Unread postby Nekogami » Fri Nov 15, 2002 10:08 pm

I agree with Pervy. Good BG story; quick, concise but not fiction. <p>

Words to live by:
OMG PRIAM: ninja sex would be neither felt nor seen by either partner
OMG PRIAM: each would just suddenly need a smoke</p>

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BrainWalker
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Re: Foundling.

Unread postby BrainWalker » Fri Nov 15, 2002 10:40 pm

Well, if it turns out there's any... well, enough interest, perhaps I might attempt to get all ficticious with this. But until such a time, I think this is enough. <p><div style="text-align:center">Image</div></p>

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Nick Shogun
 
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Re: Foundling.

Unread postby Nick Shogun » Sun Nov 17, 2002 12:05 am

Excellent. I think I love narratives far more than fics anyway... too much talking in fics. But I liked it, indeed. Out of all the chracters in RPGWW not made by me, Rock is one of my favorites.


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pd Rydia
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Re: Foundling.

Unread postby pd Rydia » Mon Dec 16, 2002 7:42 pm

"They shared with him the knowledge and custom of the kumajin."

Should be "customs"

ANYWAY...very, very unique char concept, and excellent little narrative. I'm very interested in seeing this in fic form...yes, I am...


Image <p><div style="text-align:center">
"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...an F.N.W.C.!"
-- VampireJesterJinx (VA by...Dia! :D!)</div></p>Edited by: pd Rydia&nbsp; Image at: 6/10/05 17:29


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