The story of my life-By Sorune, Druid and Sage of Y'tuin

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Dragon Sage007
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The story of my life-By Sorune, Druid and Sage of Y'tuin

Unread postby Dragon Sage007 » Sat Sep 07, 2002 9:28 pm

Prelude-My story, I guess, takes place when my parents were searching for my uncle. He had been feverish for many days, and apperently was so sick, he was hallucinating he was following Sylphs. My Mother, half-elf, came along, even though she had been 10-months pregnant, and was barely able to stand let alone search for my uncle. She finally collapsed when my Uncle was found, sitting in a tree trunk. Her water had just broke. So, when I was born, my Father, also half-elf, had an ear-bending that would put Uncle Pervy to shame. When I finally came out, my crying was so loud that I woke up a Dryad. I don't know about here on Gaera, but on Y'tuin, only a Druid has the power to wake a Dryad from sleep. But she told my parents that I was destined to be a great one, being able to wake her up at such a young age. So, they schooled me in the Natural archaic arts. My teachers resented me, as I learned how to command things as no mortal should be, and I had only two friends. My half-orc slave, Grug, whom was a true friend, and stayed even though I told him to leave many times, and Celine, my full elf wife. Many tried to kill me throughout my young age, but never succeeded. Oh, don't get me wrong, I had a few beatings in my life, but I'm still here today. Some attempts I evaded myself. Others, Celia and Grug had to help me with. Still others, I called on woodland creatures. But, when I graduated from the school, I wasn't quite sure where to go. I had married Celia as soon as I got out of school, and Grug found himself a pretty human girl. Last I heard, they had three kids, too. Anyway, when I was 22, I was given a summons to see the current king. I was shocked, as the King never saw anyone during his year long term except high ranking nobles, and the captain of the gaurd. Not even his wife was admitted. But, I was sent for, and found out I was to be the next sage, a protector of the peace, and messenger of the various gods. I accepted. And there my life truly began to fall apart...

Tell me what you think. Good? So-so? Bad? Or just god-awful?

Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/udragonsage007.showPublicProfile?language=EN>Dragon] at: 9/8/02 4:40:17 pm

SALSAlys
 

Re: The story of my life-By Sorune, Druid and Sage of Y'tuin

Unread postby SALSAlys » Sun Sep 08, 2002 1:01 am

Mm... spacing would help. Try taking it from one uber-paragraph to a bunch of smaller ones... and explain more about the characters. Why do you mention Grug, since he appears to just disappear after a while? And what about Celia?


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pd Rydia
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Re: The story of my life-By Sorune, Druid and Sage of Y'tuin

Unread postby pd Rydia » Mon Sep 09, 2002 3:03 pm

Yes, paragraphs are your friends. To be honest, I stopped reading this about four lines into it...my concentration is too shot from school to muddle my way through superparagraphs. I'll try to read it once you correct that problem, however.

[edit] bump...my offer still stands. >>;; Some line breaks/paras would be nice...


Image <p><font color=navy><hr width="47%"><small>Hello, my name is Dia. I'm a dragongirl, and I bite. RAWR!<hr width="31%">Quotes of the moment:
-=- "Love is when your brain stops working." -- White Knight
-=- "Love is when 72 billion monkeys steal a porsche and drive it off a cliff." -- SuperRube
-=- "Love is an intricate dance of lewd comments and biting." -- Lord McBastard</font></p>Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=pdrydia>pd]&nbsp; Image at: 6/10/05 17:07


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