You know, I run into so much of this I might as well confine it all to a thread. Or attempt to.
ANYWHO!
Today's Random Web HI-Larity! is courtesy of the livejournal community
Customers_Suck!
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([info]chokatobuttrfly) wrote in [info]customers_suck,
@ 2005-03-29 18:03:00
Okay.. I knew some people were stupid down here, but this lady amazes me.
Me: dancing DDR monkey!! yay!!
P1: stupid idiot lady with her toddler
P2: stupid idiot lady's toddler
Okay, everyday except for Friday and Saturday we have a PM, which means we basically clean a machine inside and out. I was busy doing my PM and had to leave my rag soaked in Orange Clean type stuff to go pay attention to a howler monkey.. I mean, a customer. So I come back and my rag is gone. And thus our story begins....
Me: *runs around trying to find the rag, spies P2 running around with it, CHEWING on it and sucking the orange clean out of the rag* OMFG!!! *runs over to P2 and tries to grab the rag* You shouldn't eat that!
P2: *unholy wail of the undead*
P1: *runs over and slaps my hand away* Don't take that from him!
Me: Ma'am, that rag is soaked in cleaner. He shouldn't be eating that, and I will need it back please.
P1: *grabs P2 and keeps him away from my reach so I cannot grab the rag*
P2: *keeps chewing on the rag, now drooling happily, and the drool is mostly foamy*
Me: *alarmed and reaches again* MA'AM! I really should get that rag from him.
P1: No, it's okay. It looks clean, and it smelled like oranges so I gave it to him.
Me: O.o;;; YES, it's ORANGE CLEAN. it's a CLEANSER, which he should not be eating. Plus I need to clean the machine.
P1: But we're customers! Why can't you just let him have this rag?
Me: Because it's SOAKED in cleanser??!!!!
P1: But it SMELLS like oranges *rolls her eyes* He'll be fine.
Me: Ma'am if you do not give me that rag, I will call security. I also suggest you take him to the first aid if you will not call a doctor immediately.
P1: *grabs the rag from P2* OH FINE!
P2: *more unholy cries of the DAMNED*
P1: You didnt have to be such a bitch about it! *throws rag in my face*
Me: Ma'am, you really should get him medical help just in case.... at least get him some water!
P1: *to P2* Come on baby, we'll go to Wal-Mart and get some oranges, and then we'll bring them back here and you can eat them so this lady can see that ORANGES ARE NOT POISONOUS!!!
Me: ::sweatdrop, dramatic death, OMFG... cries::</ul>
WAIT! But that's not ALL!
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([info]chokatobuttrfly) wrote in [info]customers_suck,
@ 2005-03-30 22:13:00
Me: your lovely dancing arcade monkey!!
SL: stupid lady who happens to be the sister of Orange Clean Lady, oh dear god the horror!
Me: *talking to Sbarro's guy trying to get her food since it is LUNCH BREAK TIME!! yay!! though is working alone so must grab food and haul ass back to arcade*
SL: Excuse me, are you the girl who was working at the arcade yesterday?
Me: *against my better judgement and the voices in my head screaming "IT'S A TRAP! OMFGZ RUN!!!!"* Yes. Can I help you?
SL: Well, my sister and her son were there yesterday.... *pauses, looks around*
Me: *eyes widen* oh-fucking-god-no...
SL: Well, why were you a bitch!? Why couldn't you just have given him the rag?!
Me: It was filled with cleaner. That is dangerous for a child to be eating. omfg why do people not get simple concepts like poisoning???
SL: But Orange Cleaner doesnt hurt anyone. I've drank some before and I'm fine.
Me: W-T-F?! Lady, I hardly think you'd be here today if you drank it. Now I'm on my lunch break and I have to go. *tries to move away, but is blocked*
SL: OKAY.. so I just had a little on my finger by accident, but I tasted it and it was okay and I didn't get sick!
Me: pleasegodienowokaythnx It's still stupid to eat it. Now I have to go.
SL: FINE.. but if you dont want to get fired, this is what I want you to do... go back to your arcade, get a CLEAN rag so you DONT have to worry about my nephew, and give it to me so I can give it to him.
Me: *exasperated sigh, visions of horrible deaths for this lady going through my head* No Ma'am, I will not. It's technically Namco's property and maybe you should get him a security blanket or something.
SL: FINE, then I'm going to report you to the police.
Me: FOR NOT GIVING YOU A RAG?!!!
SL: No, because I bet something BAD was on that rag.
Me: please some deity shoot me down now, or better yet, HER!~ Lady, I was using it to CLEAN THE MACHINE. What BAD could be on it?
SL: Something you were huffing because my nephew is SICK now!
Me: I'm not surprised since he inhaled orange clean. You know what, why don't you go find an aspirin smelling candle and give it to him.
Meanwhile not in my knowledge, someone working in food court sees this and calls security for me
SL: Oh look, here's security now! I'm going to report you!
Security: Crys, is she bothering you?
Me: Yes she is. She must be hopped up on chocolate smelling lotion frmo Bath and Body Works.
Security: *gives a questionable look*
Me: You know Orange Clean lady I told Steve about? That's her sister.
Security: *Takes the lady away without another word*
Me: *VICTORY~~~~@@@@@!!!!!!!*</ul> <p>
<div style="text-align:center">"Pants are bad!!! We should wear pants only on our head you conformist bastard!!! Pants are the devils work!! Run freee!! And pantless!!!" -- Vulture</div>
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