masks

[Lord Hatsuma]

Getting spammed by that rouge aim profile made me remember to come back here after my usual summer absence... Not that I have much to say round here generally.

But I've been wondering to myself if it's right of me to look with contempt at people trying to be something they're not, usually to not complicate things, to make friends, to act in public. Simple things, silly things, stupid things.

But not only that, I've gotten into the habit of trying to outright destroy these masks people have. Is truth really worth other people's privacy to lie about who they are to the world?

~Hatsuma!
P.S. The Crying of Lot 49 = yay

[PriamNevhausten]

To expose one's true self is to show vulnerability, and, in so doing, also shows trust. Very often, we are not true to ourselves, and even more often, we are not true to others. The greatest weakness these barriers have is often a loving relationship, where implicit and unconditional trust and love (sometimes scientifically referred to as Unconditional Positive Regard) come into knowledge and being.

There are some things about ourselves that we believe other people would not tolerate well, would ridicule, or would use against us for their own gain. Putting up the masks keeps us distant from these people, and keeps us protected. Possibly at the bottom of the stairs. <p><span style="font-size:xx-small;">"It's in the air, in the headlines in the newspapers, in the blurry images on television. It is a secret you have yet to grasp, although the first syllable has been spoken in a dream you cannot quite recall." --Unknown Armies</span></p>

[BrainWalker]

I was going to say something, but Priam beat me to it, and made it cooler anyway.

Damn you, Priam :( <p><div style="text-align:center"></div></p>

[Wolfbelly]

Quote:

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But I've been wondering to myself if it's right of me to look with contempt at people trying to be something they're not, usually to not complicate things, to make friends, to act in public. Simple things, silly things, stupid things.

But not only that, I've gotten into the habit of trying to outright destroy these masks people have. Is truth really worth other people's privacy to lie about who they are to the world?

---

Well, Priam provided some pretty sweet advice, but I'm going to weigh in on this subject if you don't mind. I don't believe it wrong for you to look at these people with contempt. As you described, they are putting on a false show, lying to others as well as to themselves, perhaps, in order to feel better. Your contempt for this trait is good, in that you are able to identify whether or not a course of action taken by another is for that persons express benefit or not. However, destroying these masks is not good. It is nice to see that you're taking a pro-active role in, what you perceive to be, the helping of others. However in these instances where you go about destroying these masks, it is very likely that they're not yet ready for these masks to be destroyed.

You are in a unique position with these people in the sense that you can objectively see where they're going wrong. However, you have to understand that in their subjective reality, they're still muddling through some things. These masks are there for a reason that they might understand on a subconscious level, but that they're unaware of on a conscious level. Your overt destruction of these masks is akin to you doing their work for them. It's like that old saying "Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him forever." Sure, at best they'll come to realize that they're being foolish, but they won't understand why they're being foolish. And at worst, they'll hate you for butting into their lives.

I would also like to mention that this concept of yours, that these masks are bad and that you're the one to fix the problem, is a little egotistical. I'm curious as to whether your intentions are wholly altruistic. Are you doing this for their sake alone, or are you doing this because it is a way for you to enforce the idea that you're superior to those around you? Honestly examine yourself, because it could be that you're also wearing a mask.