As some of you may or may not be aware, I have a character named Eskei, sometimes referred to as "Sakegungami". I have used him in RP for some time, and there were no problems. No complaints.
That changed when one day I played Eskei in an 2nd generation RP, of which a certain Captain was also playing in. Most likely you have heard from said Captain that this character should not exist. Or, you might not have heard anything... about how said Captain told me to basically scrap this character.
I have been facing an internal struggle for awhile, do I simply stand by, or do I take a stand? I refrained from playing Eskei until I could sort this out, but time waits for neither man nor god, and the IC situation was being tailored in such a way to make the situation very unkind when Eskei returns.
I thought I was just one of the "little guys" and that I should resign myself to whatever fate the "powers that be" deicde. But maybe I am not alone:
The following are logs of some conversations that I thought were interesting, will you?
NYWizrd2: I am actually considering self-destructing out though... giving things a break....
Besyanteo: ah. Little burnt out on RP?
NYWizrd2: I've made too many mistakes... I have to figure out how to reconcile them...
NYWizrd2: I'm burnt out on OOC
Besyanteo: ...
Besyanteo: care to elaborate?
NYWizrd2: Not really
NYWizrd2: But I will I suppose
Besyanteo: k.
NYWizrd2: Eskei, the personality is solid
NYWizrd2: Eskei the concept...
NYWizrd2: The whole world is comin down on me...
Besyanteo: you mean the thing of Pervy not accepting Eskei as a god or character of Gaera? ::doesn't have specifics on that yet::
NYWizrd2: Not just Cap'n
NYWizrd2: He got everyone together
NYWizrd2: It's like everyone got together and told me a critique of Eskei in the manner of your first crtitique of my drawing...
Besyanteo: ...
NYWizrd2: ANd I know I can't draw
Besyanteo: sorry about that... I honestly know how that goes... I have to console Kristen when people do that to her (and they still do to this day).
NYWizrd2: Do which to her?
NYWizrd2: Critique her art or her characters?
Besyanteo: Tell her almost verbatim: "That pictures sucks. It's just bad."
NYWizrd2: That does'nt make sense to me...
Besyanteo: Neither does it make sense to me, but she still needs support afterwards.
NYWizrd2: Her art is much>>>me
Besyanteo: yes. Just sayying it wasn't a fair critque in either case.
NYWizrd2: Yeah well... unlike in the case of her art...
NYWizrd2: Where people with brains can tell her the truth...
Besyanteo: this also reflects my opinion of the way people are 'critiquing' Eskei.
NYWizrd2: That she is actually good
NYWizrd2: The brainy folk have rallied against me
Besyanteo: You know just two or three years ago, she started out doing the exact same quality work?
NYWizrd2: As what?
Besyanteo: she got to this point in drawing by practicing muchly. ... as your Oekaki.
NYWizrd2: Surprising...
Besyanteo: also: :-/ The brainy folk don't give me the time of day usually, so I don't care much.
NYWizrd2: Most of the people I know around her either are among thier number, or are in good with them...
NYWizrd2: I think Shini counts as one, as does Cap'n...
NYWizrd2: Which is obvious
NYWizrd2: Mostly everyone else...
NYWizrd2: Chibi, Zero, et al, are going to be around them most of the time
Besyanteo: ... actually, it's because of hanging around with Lys and Zero I don't interact with many of the RPGWW higher ups
NYWizrd2: I like haging out with the medium-bees
NYWizrd2: hanging*
NYWizrd2: It's where I see myself...
Besyanteo: heheh.
Besyanteo: ditto
NYWizrd2: So when the powers from on high want to stomp on me... what can I do?
NYWizrd2: I even compromised
Besyanteo: ...?
NYWizrd2: I was willing to seperate Eskei's divine characteristics
NYWizrd2: Eskei would be the god of Sake
NYWizrd2: THe newly created Wess would be the god of guns
NYWizrd2: I could even see myself rarely if ever using Wess
NYWizrd2: But Cap'n wants me to completely un-diefy him
NYWizrd2: un-deify*
NYWizrd2: There is no satisfying these people
Besyanteo: :-/
NYWizrd2: Compromising was my first mistake
NYWizrd2: They see that I am willing to bend... so they don't have to...
NYWizrd2: Now and again Shini and I would have discussions
NYWizrd2: ANd he would report to me the gospel from on high
Besyanteo: ...
NYWizrd2: I would be told I have to give up more
Besyanteo: to be frank, my view is if there's a god of fluffiness and a god of, for lack of a better work, fucking,
NYWizrd2: Yeah
NYWizrd2: Exactly
Besyanteo: there can be a god of alcohol and/or firearms
NYWizrd2: But Cap'n says that since I use him so much
NYWizrd2: He should'nt be divine
Besyanteo: ...
NYWizrd2: Blah bla blah bla ^*(&*($%^ing blah
Besyanteo: personally, I think it's favoritism.
NYWizrd2: You might be right
NYWizrd2: I guess with James I have'nt proved my "worth" enough
NYWizrd2: And Cap'n spoke of it with AM and Adam
NYWizrd2: Two folks who I don't know from... well... Adam
NYWizrd2: As far as RPing goes
Besyanteo: also dunno Adam.
NYWizrd2: I've RPed with AM once for all of 10 minutes
NYWizrd2: With Adam, never
NYWizrd2: So of course they'd agree
NYWizrd2: But the sad state of affairs is...
NYWizrd2: These folks have quite a bit of sway
NYWizrd2: Including with our friends the other Medium-bees
NYWizrd2: Mayhaps even "especially"
NYWizrd2: don't you think so?
Besyanteo: >.> hm. maybe.
NYWizrd2: Is it any wonder now why I feel like self-destructing?
NYWizrd2: ANd the situation with James?
Besyanteo: ::running down the list of Gaeran gods:: 27 total.
Besyanteo: three stick out to me
NYWizrd2: Weeks and weeks since James and Rachel saw each other last
Besyanteo: Great Lord Agnostic, The -- god of strange senses of humor
Besyanteo: Loki -- god of pranks and trickery
Besyanteo: Stacey Fluffigami goddess of fluffiness
Besyanteo: played by, in order:
NYWizrd2: I've seen number three quite a bit
Besyanteo: AM,
Besyanteo: Will,
Besyanteo: and yeah, Mike/White Knight Delta
NYWizrd2: And Kos
NYWizrd2: Echo yeah
NYWizrd2: No no no, nothing like favoritism
NYWizrd2: Not in the least
Besyanteo: ... I'm seriously thinking of making this into a topic on the OOC forum, except you should be the one to do it. :-/
Besyanteo: it's alot harder to pull this shit where everyone can see
NYWizrd2: Not if everyone is on thier side
Besyanteo: not everyone is.
Besyanteo: there are people who don't even facking know about it./
Besyanteo: -/*
NYWizrd2: Yep
NYWizrd2: And proabably if they did
NYWizrd2: They'd think it was good to be rid of him too
Besyanteo: don't be so sure.
Besyanteo: ever see the discussion about new posters in the discussion forum?
NYWizrd2: Not really
Besyanteo: a simple question by Dave turned into a heated debate over how to deal with incoming 'newbies'.
Besyanteo: Pervy being among those who though a form shuld have to be filled out to be here.
Besyanteo: Choark sayying that the idea was appaling.
NYWizrd2: That is appalling...
Besyanteo: FFFan80 (1:22:59 AM): <span style="color:navy;">o_o;</span>
Besyanteo (1:23:02 AM): And Pervy gathers support from people who don't even KNOW NY.
FFFan80 (1:23:15 AM): ...well, Hentaigami I always thought was more of a joke than an actual God
Besyanteo (1:23:54 AM): ::goes to run down the list of Gaeran gods::
Besyanteo (1:25:08 AM): Great Lord Agnostic, The -- god of strange senses of humor
Besyanteo (1:25:20 AM): Loki -- god of pranks and trickery
Besyanteo (1:25:39 AM): Stacey Fluffigami goddess of fluffiness
Besyanteo (1:26:16 AM): oh yes. we need those. e.e but let's beat up on this guy for adding one more to a list of, what, 20?
Besyanteo (1:27:17 AM): ... no, 27. almost 30.
Besyanteo (1:32:29 AM): ::curses James for picking now to hang around behind his back::
FFFan80 (1:32:50 AM): If NY's doing a good job of it, don't back down.
Besyanteo: blah, wanted to get it earlier. still..
Besyanteo: (earlier) Besyanteo (1:22:03 AM): e.e it irks me that DM gets a god of fucking, there's god of fluffiness, and Pervy and others assult NY for having a god of alcohol and firearms.
Besyanteo (1:22:23 AM): a god of firearms and alcohol that hasn'
Besyanteo (1:22:34 AM): thasn't done anything to fuck anything up I might add.*
Besyanteo: that's two high ups I can see who aren't automatically against you.
Besyanteo: right off the bat
NYWizrd2: Cho and True Dave?
Besyanteo: yes.
NYWizrd2: The odds are begining to look more even
NYWizrd2: Maybe I can cheer up after all...
NYWizrd2: And put down that self-destruct button
NYWizrd2: Maybe...
NYWizrd2: And plus also:
NYWizrd2: While I am struggling to change for these great people
NYWizrd2: There Cap'n is changing things so that Eskei will have nothing to return too...
Besyanteo: seniority means nothing. Never let them tell you you're not as good because they've been here longer.
Besyanteo: ...
Besyanteo: what?
NYWizrd2: Really I think the point is to erase him entirely
NYWizrd2: You are in the room
NYWizrd2: You were in the room
Besyanteo: I've been talking to you and lurking, ala MAxwell sleeps
NYWizrd2: Will convincing Karin to give up on Eskei
Besyanteo: ...
NYWizrd2: I said I would not use him until they were satisfied
NYWizrd2: They... take advantage of this fact
NYWizrd2: Chibi isn't doing much to stop it, despite my telling her this...
NYWizrd2: But I can't really expect her to go against the powers that be...
NYWizrd2: ChibiUrusai: And you missed Rachel trying to talk Karin out of dating Eskei. =P
NYWizrd2: Not all of it
ChibiUrusai: I know, but more of it. ^-^
NYWizrd2: But your words inspire me...
NYWizrd2: I'm not going to bend, and I sure won't break
NYWizrd2: ...
Besyanteo: what?
NYWizrd2: On Eskei
NYWizrd2: If what you say is true...
NYWizrd2: Then I'm keeping him as is
Besyanteo: I know. the triple dot made me worry something new came up... ::also talking with Chibi and Dave::
NYWizrd2: I have an idea
NYWizrd2: Jason?
Besyanteo: hm? sorry... like I said, más windows..
NYWizrd2: Which is why the chat
NYWizrd2: We all talk at once together
NYWizrd2: NYWizrd2: Invite the others as you see fit...
Besyanteo: I need to link you something before you post tomorrow. can't do so now, as I'm already file trasnferring. ... I THINK I can't anyways.
Besyanteo: ... hope I don't regret this. I've been downloading for a few hours.
Besyanteo wants to send file read this please.htm.
NYWizrd2: I hope you don't regret it either
Connection problem with Besyanteo; the file will not be sent. (Your 'Internet Connection Firewall' may be on. If you and your buddy are each behind a different firewall, then the connection will not work.).
Besyanteo: ... :-/ right. e-mail then.
NYWizrd2: Okie
NYWizrd2:
CronoLuminaire2@aol.com
Besyanteo: I know.
NYWizrd2: Yay
Besyanteo: sent
NYWizrd2: okie
Besyanteo: did it arrive?
NYWizrd2: Yes
NYWizrd2: You'll note I tend to use Aliester very sparingly; and most at End's request anymore.
Besyanteo: ah.
NYWizrd2: Like when he gamebroke my thing with Jacob
Besyanteo: ?
Besyanteo: GameBroke?
NYWizrd2: Jacob first made himself "known"
NYWizrd2: Past tense of Gamebreak
NYWizrd2: Basically he "waved a magic wand" over the problem
Besyanteo: was he asked/sent for to do such?
NYWizrd2: Not in the least
NYWizrd2: Here is what happened:
NYWizrd2: Jacob had revealed himself
NYWizrd2: He was debating with the cast about whether or not any of them (mostly Enlil) actually cared if James lived or died...
NYWizrd2: It was going to culminaite in a battle, in my original plan
NYWizrd2: But... Aliester showed up...
NYWizrd2: So the debate continued...
NYWizrd2: And then he used some crazy move to switch control back to James...
NYWizrd2: Since it was getting late...
NYWizrd2: Example of preaching and not practicing?
Besyanteo: indeed. You can use that maybe, although I'm not sure it would assist you.
NYWizrd2: I kep the result
NYWizrd2: kept*
Besyanteo: which was?
NYWizrd2: It lead to this: Besyanteo (3:34:49 AM): ... of note, it is fun to see off little moments lik when Jacob was, literally, messing with Aliester's head.
NYWizrd2: The result was, Jacob was "Tired" for awhile...
Besyanteo: :-/ it was. I was ending the discussion, and trying to be subtle.
Besyanteo: ...ah.
NYWizrd2: You remember how most of his IM's started with IM: ::Yawn::
Besyanteo: yup.
NYWizrd2: That'd be why
Besyanteo: to suggest Jacob will become a problem later?
NYWizrd2: To suggest that the move had a big effect
NYWizrd2: He was "tired" for weeks
NYWizrd2: Over that time he basically clamed down...
NYWizrd2: Going from evil twin to sarcastic voice of realism or something...
Besyanteo: heh. sounds like Seymour.
And:
You have just entered room "Conversatory."
Besyanteo has entered the room.
NYWizrd2: Invite the others as you see fit...
ChibiUrusai has entered the room.
FFFan80 has entered the room.
Besyanteo: just to avoid the multiple copying and pasting
NYWizrd2: Hello
ChibiUrusai: Goody.
NYWizrd2: So is it true that not all of our "Fearless leaders" are standing against me?
Besyanteo: as for pervy's last comment about divinity not being necesary... ... that could apply to any number of Gaera's "gods"
Besyanteo: oh, and NY refers to oldbies, in a politically incorrect manner
ChibiUrusai: *nod*
NYWizrd2: In an ironical matter...
ChibiUrusai: Although to tell the truth, I can't really speak about much of the other gods.
ChibiUrusai: The only others I've really 'seen' are Mother Nature and Daughter Nature.
Besyanteo: aparently gods don't get played much. >.> and if that's Pervy's only real concern with such an inactive god...
FFFan80: To be fair...
Besyanteo: then frankly I think he needs to shut up.
Besyanteo: <.<
FFFan80: <_<;; ...I tend to get nervous about people I don't know well playing god-like characters.
FFFan80: No offense to you or anything NY, I'm sure you'd do a good job.
NYWizrd2: I thought I was...
ChibiUrusai: It's kinda understandable.
FFFan80: it's just characters like that have a HUGE impact on things, since they're so powerful.
ChibiUrusai: A god as a character has....
ChibiUrusai: Yeah. Power.
ChibiUrusai: Easily abused.
Besyanteo: ...
NYWizrd2: Except...
Besyanteo: so does Feisal.
NYWizrd2: Did I abuse said power?
Besyanteo: Has anyone been eatten yet?
FFFan80: I mean, think about what would happen if Stacey made things fuzzy ALL the time? >_>;
Besyanteo: hell, so does a dragon
NYWizrd2: Yep
FFFan80: I know you didn't do that btw, NY
Besyanteo: or a demon
Besyanteo: etc.
NYWizrd2: Griff/Foenix even defeated Eskei
FFFan80: That's not the same as a god though.
ChibiUrusai: Except that those are supposed to be more easily vanquished than a deity.
FFFan80: Gods can make/end/alter a life at a whim.
ChibiUrusai: *pointing out things; still sticking up for Eskei*
Besyanteo: ... we're talking about a god a demon was able to temorarily kill
Besyanteo: temporarily*
NYWizrd2: Eskei is not very high up there
NYWizrd2: Which is why he spends most of his time, down here
Besyanteo: I suppose he sounds more like an elemental, but it doesn't fit. ... ... ignoring that Zero has a music/dance elemental, but still/.
Besyanteo: -/*
NYWizrd2: He's been established for a bit of awhile
NYWizrd2: Shini gave no objections...
NYWizrd2: Until
NYWizrd2: Cap'n did so
NYWizrd2: And he did not, Until he saw Eskei in a 2nd gen arpee, once...
NYWizrd2: Griff and Eskei, were watching the youth go by...
Besyanteo: So pardon me if I can't help but look at this as anything but an immaturity on Pervy's part.
NYWizrd2: And by youth, I mean all the young people.. a collective "spirit" of youth
NYWizrd2: Sure...
NYWizrd2: Eskei did ask Griff to pick a random kid out of boredom
NYWizrd2: And Eskei made them drunk...
NYWizrd2: But I asked first
NYWizrd2: IMly
NYWizrd2: I would not, just do this and expect things to happen
Besyanteo: which I might note Argus did not when he made Maxwell Teeny. I've just chosen not to complain.
Besyanteo: I don't suppose either of you have a comment on this so far?
FFFan80: ...see that's what I'm talking about, sorta.
FFFan80: No offense to Argus, but on a whim he suddenly did a complete 180 to Jason's character.
NYWizrd2: Yep...
FFFan80: That irks me :-/
Besyanteo: so, ironically, it's a vet whose abusing power.
NYWizrd2: Wheras Eskei merely got a character a bit drunk...
NYWizrd2: His lips were loosened a bit,
NYWizrd2: And he'd have a slight headache afterwards...
NYWizrd2: But really, what harm has been done?
NYWizrd2: Baby for who knows how long, vs. Instant drunk for a few hours...
Besyanteo: NY: Baby until he grows up again,
Besyanteo: or I BS something
Besyanteo: and with the memory wipe, I don't think he'd be the same anyways.
Besyanteo: unless, once again, the BS card.
NYWizrd2: So basically, he just killed your character?
Besyanteo: yes and no.
NYWizrd2: Exactly
Besyanteo: I imagine he can undo it if I complain
Besyanteo: and that's the other side of the coin, even if a god did screw up,
Besyanteo: they can fix it with a snap of their fingers
FFFan80: ...that's another thing though.
NYWizrd2: Hmm?
FFFan80: When you use godlike powers too much... doesn't that sorta take the 'challenge' out of a character's life?
FFFan80: in the extreme case here, everything that was wrong with Maxwell there is 'miraculously' no longer an issue... for now anyway :-/
NYWizrd2: Yep...
NYWizrd2: But I don't forsee that happening in my case
FFFan80: I'm kinda curious about something.
Besyanteo: ?
FFFan80: <_>? ...why of all things booze and guns?
NYWizrd2: Like many other things in life...
FFFan80: *...say why not and I sic Stephan on you :-P*
NYWizrd2: It started as a joke
Besyanteo: ... why strange senses of humor?
NYWizrd2: Especially on RPGWW it seems...
Besyanteo: most of RPGWW's structure began as spam
FFFan80: ...in an odd way... I could see it happening. o.o
Besyanteo: or so I understand
FFFan80: He could've started as just the god of drink...
NYWizrd2: In fact, Chibi helped out
FFFan80: Then when Valthi started developing firearms... *insert better idea than I can think of here*
FFFan80: Dan: ...wait... did you say God of... *gulp*... drink?
;;;
FFFan80: ....*HIDES*
FFFan80: <_<;;;
NYWizrd2: What's his problem?
NYWizrd2: He does'nt like drinks?
Besyanteo: ... somehow I find htis amusing
FFFan80: ...Dan's family has... low booze tolerance. ^_^;
Besyanteo: ... ::kicks post limit::
Besyanteo: Besyanteo (2:16:33 AM): (speaking of which, I debate complaining to get my old Maxwell back. I never actually gave Kev permission to do that.)SongstressEnlil (2:16:50 AM): (You didn't? o.o)
Besyanteo: Besyanteo (2:16:54 AM): (No.)Shinigori (2:16:57 AM): (....)ChibiUrusai (2:17:06 AM): (....I figured you had done in IM. o.o;)Besyanteo (2:17:11 AM): (No.)Shinigori (2:17:13 AM): (Me too...)
FFFan80: *HIC*
Besyanteo: SongstressEnlil (2:17:22 AM): (Well then, you have all kinds of a case here)NYWizrd2 (2:17:29 AM): ( Yeah, some people just do what they want )Shinigori (2:17:35 AM): (Indeed...)
FFFan80: *glomps Jason* *^\/^* ...heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.
Besyanteo: SongstressEnlil (2:17:37 AM): (report to AM)SongstressEnlil (2:17:48 AM): (Kev's on Probation woth Meia)
NYWizrd2: PROBATION!
FFFan80: ....*facepalm*
Besyanteo: ... ::kicks stephan off:: not during the serious discussion.
Besyanteo: Ironic, neh?
Besyanteo: also: I don't intend to report to AM if no one else does. >.> I'll just maxwell fixed.
NYWizrd2: yes and no
Besyanteo: just get*
Besyanteo: splain?
NYWizrd2: It;s not ironic that Cap'n would be the "authority"
Besyanteo: which aparently he isn't, AM is.
NYWizrd2: It is ironic that it takes 1 complaint to get Meia in trouble
NYWizrd2: And 0 to get Eskei as such
NYWizrd2: No probation either, just CHANGE NOW
I apologize for the length of this post, and am happy you bothered to read through it all. I know I am most likely going to catch some flak, but it is best not to be silent. This voice in the dark shall be heard.