(Since I've had this sitting in the land of back-upfor a fair while, I figure I might as well post it back up again.)
It had been a quiet week, spent relaxing, and unwinding from the state of perpetual tension in which he lived. Kelne had gone fishing. He'd been most annoyed when some idiot fish had gotten itself stuck on his hook, threatening to spoil the tranquility. But that annoyance had been short-lived. And with Enlil to act as Boss in his absense, the longer-lived annoyances that were known as Minions hadn't disturbed him once.
No doubt about it, he should go on vacation more often. Gods knew he'd had enough unremitting peril in his life over the past few years. Granted, there hadn't been many other people in a position to do anything about that stuff, but he still seemed to have attracted more than his fair share of trouble.
It was probably a consequence of living in Doma, he decided as he wandered up to the city gates. Half the trouble on this planet and a fair bit from others seemed to pass through the city. Heaven forfend the guards might stop some of it. Speaking of which, there was one of them now. Some sort of demon, by the looks. Again, only in Doma.
He was mildly surprised when the guard actually had the nerve to block his path. Come to think of it, there ws something off about the uniform. Definitely a guard, but not the usual type. That feeling of Impending Doom was acting up again...
"By order of Lord Malachias, all visitors to the city are to surrender their weapons."
"Never heard of him." There was no chance whatsoever that he was going to give up his weapons to anybody.
"Malachias the Vengeful, Lord of the Last Hell, Bringer of Darkness and," the guard paused for effect, "Ruler of Doma."
"Did he come up with all those stupid titles himself, or did he need help?" By this time, Kelne was in the middle of a large, empty circle as the rest of the traffic gave the suicidal madman a wide berth. Two more guards converged on him. Each was subjected, in turn, to The Glare. It didn't seem to have much impact.
"You have two choices, human," the original guard said, "The easy way or the hard way. You may live through the easy way."
"Funny. I was about to offer you the same choice." With that, Kelne produced a pistol, shot the first guard, and ran like hell. A quick glance behind revealed that two standing guards, rather than following, were gathering some sort of nasty-looking fire spell. Grinning, he turned and swung off his pack, opening it in a practiced move and bringing out a large carpet.
His world exploded in fire. But that was alright. Given the persistent efforts of certain parties to set him on fire, he'd enchanted his coat against that particular element some time back. By the time the guards realised their error, their target was standing on his carpet, and had flown well out of range.
Gods. I leave town for a few days, and everything goes straight to hell. Literally. Well, no one invaded his city and got away with it. The first thing to do was get inside the city, where he could find out just what was going on and put a stop to it. This Malachias person was going to pay for ruining his vacation...
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It was night in the city of Doma. This being the case, a good part of the city's population was at home, not wanting to violate curfew. Of course, another large portion, Domans being Domans, was violating the curfew as a matter of principle.
Within the Jade Dragon, all was quiet. Following the invasion, both owner and staff had boarded it up and left town. Thus far, the inn had been ignored. Well, almost ignored.
"Now," a low voice came from somewhere below the kitchen floor, "Let's keep the noise down, shall we? Dia's going to be mad enough as it is."
"Of course I'll be quiet. For I am SILENT LIKE -" THWAP "Ow."
"Does anybody else want to demonstrate their mad ninja skills?" the first voice asked acerbically, "No? Then get a move on."
"Right, Boss." There was a dull scraping, then some creaking noises, before several floorboards were prised upwards, revealing a dark hole beneath. From the depths emerged a helmeted head, which scanned the kitchen cautiously for vengeful skillet-wielding goblins.
"Place seems empty," #32 reported, clambering out of the hole. Kelne followed in short order, as did a small group of other minions.
After inspecting the front room, Kelne rendered his own verdict, "Looks like they left town a while back. So here are the ground rules. We disturb nothing, and we make no mess. When this is over, we make the kitchen floor as good as new." The chances of Dia killing him would be drastically reduced if she didn't find out he'd appropriated her inn for use as a base of operations. "And 85 finds somewhere else to stay."
"But why, Boss?" The so-called ninja of the group was genuinely puzzled. He truly believed the he was silent, and that neon green was a colour of camouflage. They'd used him as a source of illumination in the tunnel, for gods' sake...
"Because." It was the all-purpose answer for Minions and small children both, vulnerable only to the counter 'because why?' Thankfully, that counter was not forthcoming tonight.
"Right. I want the tunnel extended into the park." While its emptiness made the JD a good spot for a base, it didn't help with his main goal in coming here - information. And he couldn't exactly walk out the front door, so the tunnel would need to be extended.
Thankfully, the one thing the minions were good at was digging. "And no surfacing under the lake." Common sense was another matter.
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The park at night was largely deserted. Hardly unusual, really. It was more of a daytime destination at the best of times. Kelne clambered out of the latest tunnel entrance, brushing dirt from his coat.
"Make sure the hole's concealed," he said, "I'm going for a look around." With that, Kelne crept off into the night. He soon discovered that 'largely deserted' did not equate to 'completely deserted'.
There, in the middle of the park, stood a blindfolded woman looking skywards. It wasn't even as if she was making an effort to hide.
Blind woman stargazing with demons about. Typical Doman.
"YOU THERE! WOMAN! YOU DIE FOR BREAKING CURFEW!" This voice came from another one of those annoying demon guards. Annoying they might be, but that didn't make them any less deadly. Easing his sword out of its sheath, he got ready to intervene.
For her part, the woman lowered her 'gaze' to the demon in question and simply snapped her fingers. It vanished with a faint pop. Nodding to herself, the woman went back to her stargazing.
... Yep, typical Doman. Making a mental note not to disturb that person under any circumstances, Kelne continued on his way.
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#32's log, day... Something-or-other. Or should that be night?
The Boss seems annoyed. Then again, the Boss always seems annoyed. Still, this is a bit worse than usual. He's been muttering about 'take over my city, will he?' and similar stuff.
I think he might be going to do something nasty. And with miss Enlil gone, there's no one who can talk him out of it.
But we got to dig a tunnel, so it's not all bad. 85 was being silent like the ninja, but the Boss thwapped him so he stopped. We're staying at the Jade Dragon, but we have to keep things tidy or a dragon will eat us.
Update, morning: Day whatever plus 1
#93 tracked us down today. She wanted to help with the fighting, but the Boss said Hell no. He said that he wasn't getting any kids involved in something like this, even if they were over two hundred years old. 93 didn't take this well, so the Boss shoved her in Rabbit's hat (he took Rabbit out first) and had 96 carry it off somewhere safe.
Update: The Boss says that everyone and his cousin would have formed a resistance cell by now, it was just a matter of finding one of the more competent leaders. This gave me an idea. I'm putting up signs for people to join the Doman Underground (This is a pun, or play on words). They get a free badge and shovel. We'll be tripping over volunteers in no time.
Also, Rabbit seems to be doing well. The fresh air and blood of demon guards is good for him. <p>Centuries of threats of "I'll turn you all to stone!" and "I'll knock you all down!" have caused Domans to develop an instinct to form small groups. For safety, I assure you. – Keir</p>Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=kelne>Kelne</A] at: 10/10/06 19:48