Banj tried to write a poem...and did!

[Banjooie]

The Fool

The perfect moment had occurred
The final die was cast
The fool had made a blunder
The move would be his last

The plan the fool'd made was perfect
The details full and loophole-free
The only failure in his plotting
The crash of thunder in his party

The plan to steal my bride that night
The woman whom I love and cherish
The fool, he'd known, that if he'd succeeded
The heart break would have made me perish

The night was clear, we were asleep
The bride and me, as the moonlight shined
The fool'd broken in, and thought he'd kidnap 'er
The fool didn't know that the house wasn't mine

The perfect moment had occurred
The neighbor's dogs were woken and roused
The fool had every bit of his plan down - but..
The fool'd broken in where my neighbor was housed <p>

---

If I had a dollar for every stupid thing I said...</br>I'd probably say a lot more stupid things.</p>

[Uncle Pervy]

Okay, I'm not one fort poems, so take my commentary with a grain of salt

<_<

That's Banj's salt, sis.


Anyway, I like the alteration you have, starting each line with 'The'. It gives a good, solid feeling of Rythym.

Also, it has a nice subtle humor to it. ^_^ <p><table align="center" cellpadding=2><tr><td></td><td align="center">Rum, White Magic, an' Cabbits.
That's th' life fer me.

Seig No-Pants!</td><td></tr></table></p>

[SALSAlys]

Whoo! Let's all have a party to celebrate the capture of the fool!

And he can be the pinata!

[pd Rydia]

Niftiness. ^_^ I like it.


<p><center><font color=navy><small><hr width="47%">The Whoosh Owns You.
<hr width="47%"></center></font></small></p>Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=pdrydia>pd]&nbsp; at: 6/10/05 17:11