Is THAT how it is, is it?! >:0
Kay! =O
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<small>I have been misled. Many of us, in fact, have been greviously misled.
Art: "the conscious production or arrangement of sounds, colors, forms, [...] or other elements in a manner that affects the sense of beauty; [...] human works of beauty considered as a group"<sup>1</sup>. It seems fairly innocuous, does it not? Indeed, it comes off as pleasant, even desirable. Certainly, art is <font color=blue>highly regarded</font> by society as a whole--it was a required part of my own <font color=blue>studies</font>, considered necessary in order to bring about a well-rounded education. Art, I was told, was
good, often pleasant, and proved time and again to be <font color=blue>beneficial</font> to society, pushing important social change by challenging harmfully ignorant beliefs and customs.
It is not surprising, then, that my interest in art continued past my involvment in school and into my leisure pursuits. I found myself eagerly following the artistic endeavors of others--even began to dabble in various mediums of my own.
And that, my friend, is where the truth came out.
I come to you, not as an artist, but as a concerned citizen, deceived as you have been deceived. I am here to tell you that artistry is not what it appears to be.
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ART'S TRUE PURPOSE
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Paintings, literature, theatre, video games: artists are responsible for these and much, much more. Across the world, innumerable new artists are converted every day, inspired by the undue hoard of existing artwork--art that is being furiously churned out even as I write. With such recent innovations as the personal computer and the internet, not only is both artwork's creation and distribution vastly expedited, but even new mutations and species of artwork are <font color=blue>constantly being</font> conceived. The end result? A veritable epidemic of increasingly more subtle, more seductive forms of perversion. Don't be blind to what's happening around you: art is an infestation which reaches out to your child from the sides of buildings, the library, their school...and even your very own home.
It is unfortunate that the very word artwork has acquired distinctly positive connotations in the majority of today's societies. Thanks to the efforts of misguided intellectuals, liberal "bleeding arts" education, and artists themselves, more and more are ready to label what they see as
art rather than be the one to call it out for what it truly is--the deranged assault by madmen on all we should cherish and hold dear.
<font color=blue>In the present day, many may</font> look at Grand Theft Auto 3 and see art...and art is
good. Relabeling pornography as erotica suddenly turns it into art, and thus, acceptable--even praise-worthy! Some will even see art in the cigarette butt kicked into the crevice between two cobblestones paving the ground!
Of course, "expanding the definition of art" is by no means anything new--no, artists have been using this underhanded tactic for centuries. Going back to the early 1700s, look at "A Modest Proposal." An essay by the devious master of "satire," Jonathan Swift, this piece of <font color=blue>so-called</font> literature advocates the sale of infants by the monetarily disadvantaged for skinning and consumption; a cure, he writes, for the dual problems of poverty and hunger! My very own English teacher--no less than a Benedictine Sister of Saint Walburg Monastery--was completely taken in by this man's clever writing, introducing me to this particular essay when she read it aloud to my class with great enthusiasm.
Completely hoodwinked, I grinned with her, my soul becoming a little more cold and callus with each word read. I even recall inwardly laughing at the discomfort I saw on the faces of classmates during the reading! Oh, but surely I was becoming more open-minded and educated, I thought. My dear Sister Mary Carol and I were not then able to see the essay for what it was. How cleverly art disguises its true intentions: the undermining--nay, the very
destruction of morality, the basis of all society!
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FUTILE ENDEAVORS AND SMALL VICTORIES
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In the annals of history, one can find the names of several pieces of banned art; the racially offensive
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, for instance, or the incendiary "Civil Disobedience." Frustratingly, years of traditionally upheld bias and ignorance protects certain art forms--photography, for instance, and literature. Thus, the efforts of those wise to art's true purpose often amount to little in the end. Today, at such venues such as "Deviantart," the righteous uproar of those who were not fooled by the so-called artistic "Suicide Girls" was gleefully crushed under the oppressive heel of the website's corrupt regime. The later outcry in response to a painting entitled
Absinthe--which will no doubt send your innocent and frail young miniatures of Mommy and Daddy scurrying for the dictionaries--was quieted with even swifter efficiency.
It is with a sigh of relief, then, that we can greet the news that it is taking longer than one might expect to get certain forms of artwork widely accepted; movies, for instance, and video games. While some will foolishly write it off as an innocent child's game, not all will be taken in by the violent Katamari Damacy<sup>2</sup>. Popular genres of music also come under constant critique, leading to small victories and awareness amongst limited numbers of individuals. Country music, for instance, is well known to prey upon the emotional instability of adolescents and teenagers, encouraging and glorifying dangerous behaviors and a rejection of morality. Parents who naively allow their children to listen to this music, mistaking it for art, are setting themselves up to join the rapidly growing number of families who have been torn apart by the amazing destructive abilities artists wield through their mediums.
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SOLUTION
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At first glance, there is no problem with the typically proposed solution for art's ability to contaminate and pervert the minds of our youth.
It's an easy process, you see. First, you establish the superior moral code, informing and properly correcting everyone who is wrong. Next, establish the child's exact level of idiocy and lack of personal will. Finally, it is quite the easy process to agree on what to censor. While history has shown the fantastic failure rate of this tactic, one day the righteous will win.
C'est ne pas?
Infuriatingly, all that is needed to put a halt to this process is for a gathering of these good-minded folks outside the utmost, clear-minded dedication to the good of mankind. All it takes is for one misguided, miseducated, misled--or misleading--individual to refuse to agree on what is inherently Right and Good, and the gathering will nigh inevitably dissolve into bickering. Even if it still manages to enact temporary changes to the art world, in the end, it only manages to add to the image of the persecuted artist, making artwork and artistry even more alluring.
Surely there must be a better way.
Surely.
You might wonder, then, what I consider to be an effective method of combatting the sly ways of the artist. Registration and IDs for artists? Background checks and waiting periods for brushes and cameras? A complete and thorough ban on all artwork in existence? <font color=blue>Do I even
have a plausible solution--is there naught to be done?</font>
<font color=blue>If you are asking yourself these questions, dear reader, as I know you are, I wish to express my utmost concern for your health.</font> Are you quite sure that you are of the right mind and thinking clearly? Surely by now you must realize that my purpose in this essay is not to reveal any manner of solution.
I'm part of the
conspiracy.
I am here for nothing more than to kick back and watch the frustrated and ever-increasingly ineffectual efforts to hold back the swarm as we slowly infest the world with our poison. Can you but imagine as I toss back my head for a deep, hearty laugh? There is great beauty to be seen in the self-defeating efforts to hold back out legions--it is almost a work of art in its own right.
Well, I have dallied long enough. I should return to the tools of my corruption. Paper, pencil, camera. Pliers, wire. Scissors. Beads.
The beads.
The beads.
Shiver in fear, mortal. I am an artist, but one of many. This world will never be rid of us.
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FOOTNOTES
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<sup>1</sup> American Heritage Dictionaries, ed.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language. 4th ed. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 2000.
<sup>2</sup> Katamari Damacy is a game where you use a large ball--called a katamari--to roll up items in order to restore the stars which your father has irresponsibly misplaced. Some of these "items" include animals, which squeal in distress when rolled up, and once you get the ball large enough, you can even roll up humans! Their shrieks of fear and dismay are set against a background of disorientingly cheerful music, sending mixed messages to your easily confused child. There are a myriad of "rewards" built into the game to encourage you to roll up as many "items" as possible, and there are stages where humans are specific targets! And what do you do with these katamari when you are done rolling? TURN THEM INTO CELESTIAL OBJECTS! Never again will Akiba joyfully ride his bicycle down main street!</small> <p>
<div style="text-align:center">"Pants are bad!!! We should wear pants only on our head you conformist bastard!!! Pants are the devils work!! Run freee!! And pantless!!!" -- Vulture</div>
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Edited by: pd Rydia at: 3/21/05 23:41