Needs to be pointed out.
The very secret diaries plays heavily on the hidden sexual inuenda in LoTR, which is reflected here. Do NOT, I repeat NOT, take these opinions as either mine or the characters.
The Secret Diary of Ash Fanrico, hero and badass no 1.
Day 1:
Bought a diary v. cheap and now I'm going to write in it.
Day 2:
Met a old man today. He acted strangely and cackled alot. Grew uneasy but was v. relieved when he held out a pouch of gold. Apparently I've got to find some gal named Rydea or something. Still looking manly.
Day 6:
Been on the road for four days now. Tan still not present. Quite upset by lack of caves to explore along the way. Killed a goblin. Go Me!
Kills
1 Goblin
Day 7:
Woke up to find myself being surrounded by twenty goblins armed w. spears. Got kranky and killed them. Also, goblins were carrying water pouches. Yay... That is, yay in a manly, macho way.
Kills
21 Goblins
Day 11
Found a cave. Checked inside and found it only went in 1 meter. Stupid cave. Chopped down a tree in anger. That showed him. Think I was probably quite manly when I flexed my biceps.
Kills
21 Goblins
1 Tree
Day 12:
Stupid road.
Stupid trees.
Stupid old man.
I hate my life. 'though I do look quite manly.
Kills
21 Goblins
1 Tree
49 Cute & Fuzzy creatures
Day 15:
Encountered a wizard. Prepared to die in combat but was told he was friendly. Apparently a Archmage or something. Looks kinda funny. Decided to "recruit" him to my cause. Succeeded. He's sulking, of course, but I don't care. An adventuring party needs a wizard of some sort.
Kills
21 Goblins
1 Tree
49 Cute & Fuzzy creatures
Day 17:
Out of food and water. Archmage whines about food and water, but I'm rough and manly and hit stuff instead. Concerned, however, of impending doom if no nourishment is found soon. Considering to shave and eat beard. No sign of Rydoa...
Kills
21 Goblins
1 Tree
49 Cute & Fuzzy creatures
Uncountable Bushes
Day 19:
Still no food or water. Beginning to experience hallucination. Archmage is mumbling weirdly. Not very manly if you ask me. HAVE shaven off beard and eaten it, not very tasty. Starting to dislike the situation and want to finish the quest as soon as possible and get drunk.
Kills
21 Goblins
1 Tree
49 Cute & Fuzzy creatures
Uncountable Bushes
Assorted rocks and some grass.
(Soon) Archmage
Day 21
Found a farm. Unfortunantly the farmer was poor, so we had to eat him. Not such a big loss though. Archmage is whining again, something about not being able to breath. Pussy.
Kills
21 Goblins
1 Tree
49 Cute & Fuzzy creatures
Uncountable Bushes
Assorted rocks and some grass.
1 Farmer
---
Right. Just testing if this'll catch on. The concept, of course, stolen from home.nyu.edu/~amw243/diaries/ . If you feel like it, go ahead and write your own part. I'm going to continue Ash's diary though. <p>
<div style="text-align:center">Christian Cordeus - Shamelessly stealing school supplies since 1993.</div></p>Edited by: ChristianC at: 6/22/03 11:10 pm