forest rp

[camanalis]

(OOC: Here is an idea for an rp in a forest. I need someone to play as the the girl warrior plus I need other characters as well. Before the actual roleplaying starts, introduce your character.)
-----
set in medieval times in a forest full of extremely tall trees...

A stranger with dark red hair that partially covers his eyes and wearing a sweeping dark red cloak walks into a small clearing in the forest. He sits down and pulls out a weird looking fruit from his cloak and starts eating it. While he is eating it he notices something moving on the other side of the clearing.

Probably one of those stupid monkey-like creatures wanting some food. Well, if it wants some it will just have to come here, won't it.

However, whatever was in the trees did not come out. The red haired person finished his food and walked off. After he walked off, a female warrior came straight out of the bushes from where the red-haired guy thought there was a creature.

"What an idiot. Doesn't even check around to see if he is being watched."

The red haired guy appears right behind her. "I don't need to, I am an empath. When no creature came out wanting food, I checked for emotions. You see, a creatures emotions are easy to read, but a human's are unnecicarily complicated. Now, why are you following me?"

Up close she could see that even his eyes were a brownish red. She also noticed that one of his sleeves were caught on some kind of metal armband. "I live here. I was seeing what you were up to."

He noticed her eyes on his armband and he quickly covered it up. "Fair enough. I am just passing through so leave me alone." After that he disappeared leaving the girl stunned. He reappeared somewhere else in the forest and started walking.

His name is Camanalis, he is a human about 6' tall and he is magically & physically powerful, although he does not show it. He wears a gold armband always and has exceptional control of fire.

A couple of years ago, there was a great war between elves humans. Humans started to learn how to use magic and elves tried to stop them. The elves did all they could from letting humans learn magic for a very good reason. Human magic is extremely unstable. Caman was one of the first human magics. He learned to control his powers and became one the most powerful people on earth. The war ended with humans still learning magic. Caman tried to teach other people to control magic as well as he did but it seemed like very few were able to do it. Caman's freinds were some of these people. One day when Caman was showing his freinds a new attack, he felt like something was heating up his chest, and before he knew what was happening, he was surrounded by fire and he burned all of his friends to death. (not done yet)

Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=camanalis>camanalis</A] at: 5/26/04 3:56 pm

[SALSAlys]

Sorry, but you DO need to add some more things.

Like storyline.

Setting. More than just 'medieval'; is magic permissible in player characters, to what level, and what races are available? Is there a king about that ought to be obeyed, or is this in the barbarian wilderlands?

And you already need 'other characters'. Like the girl warrior.

From the sound of it, you already want her to be played a specific way, so not why NPC her yourself, since you're the GM? Or at least give more description on who and what she is so she can be effectively RPed?

More criticism may come later if I ponder on it, but those popped immediately to mind. *bows out*

[Spleen]

It's also considered bad form to give a character "complete control" of an element. We have magic-using characters here that rank among the most high-level characters in the history of Philsys and none of them even begin to approach mastery of an element, never mind being able to control it to any significant degree.

Also, just deciding to create a character who's "extremely powerful" doesn't really cut it here. There are limits of how powerful a character we'll accept for freestyle. I recommend posting information about this character in the Character Closet forum and get some responses about whether or not people think your character works (providing you're prepared to take some pretty harsh criticism). It's also not such a good idea to use the word "powerful"...it's too broad. When you think about it, Superman is powerful, but so is George W. Bush. While Superman is extremely good at lifting crap and flying, George W. Bush can influence people all over the world by making important speeches (written by someone else, of course) and meeting other political figures. <p>-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

"If a tree falls in the middle of a forest and no one's around to hear it, it was obviously the work of ninja."
-Darkknight

"We know there's no soy milk, because there's no soy titties."
-Lewis Black</p>

[Archmage144]

He wants to be powerful, Spleen. Not infamous. <p>

---

<div style="text-align:center"></div>

</p>

[camanalis]

I thingk spleen is kinda right. I cannot just say "powerful." I should try to elaborate a little bit. And I guess he shouldn't have complete control of fire, it just seems a little bit too powerful. He should have limits

Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=camanalis>camanalis</A] at: 5/25/04 10:35 am

[Archmage144]

I was making a sarcastic remark about the good President of the United States, whose speeches certainly do nothing for him on the "power" end of things, because power over people requires either respect or fear, and he commands neither. <p>

---

<div style="text-align:center"></div>

</p>

[Spleen]

Yeah, but we still need him to authorize a nuclear attack, if we ever decide to blow the crap out of some other country. <p>-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

"If a tree falls in the middle of a forest and no one's around to hear it, it was obviously the work of ninja."
-Darkknight

"We know there's no soy milk, because there's no soy titties."
-Lewis Black</p>

[camanalis]

Back to the RP, here's a different description of Camanalis:

His name is Camanalis, he is about 6' tall and he is magicially and physicially powerful, although he does not show it. He wears a gold armband always and has exceptional control of fire.

(I know it's not that much of a change but it's a little better. I'd like suggestions.) <p>Caman, Camanis, Camanalis. All the same to me.</p>

[ChristianC]

Well, okay, first of all.


What you have there is basically a physical description of your character, and a pretty sparse one at that too.

I would recommend you devote a bit more time to develop how he looks, his hairstyle, facial features (eyes, nose, whatever), more clothes (what kind of clothing he wears, the general quality of them, etc) and the like.

Then, as this is the Out Of Character room, perhaps you could indulge us upon his history, not an entire chronicle but a few well-chosen words that describe what he's been up too until now. Then, maybe give him a personality description, saying "he looks mean but is really a nice guy" doesn't mean much, and you get those guys in the dozen. Instead, try to give him a more unique, or even, a rather common personality, depending on what you want him too do. Believe it or not, playing the Average Joe from time to time is actually pretty fun.

Consider quirks. Quirks can be anything from the way he moves, to the way he chews with his mouth open or throw around his sword a lot. Anything you think makes him more unique. It doesn't have to be something grand like "Always surrounded with a red, blazing fire," but maybe "Always have to chew on something, be it straws of grass to pieces of wood" or whatever.

Finally, as you're the Game Master of this, It's really up to you to make the setting for this game. A forest set in medieval times with a lot of trees rarely gives the players enough hints to know where to begin, nor does it encourage people when you introduce characters you need others to play, make her a Non-Player Character (Game Master-Controlled Character) instead.

You don't have to give much thought into the setting, but you should at least tip players off how much Fantasy you can expect, what sort of races there are, etc. A good way to help players is too avoid starting the RP right away and instead put up a notice, here in the OOC-Room, that say you're looking for players. They can then, if interrested, ask questions which you can answer and should you all feel ready, start posting in the thread you made.

Try observing other RPs here, how they work and how they're played. You don't HAVE to follow their tiniest move and mimick them, but they'll give you a good idea of how to run yours.




And finally, despite the mocking posts you get from other people, me included, have fun. <p>

---

<div style="text-align:center">Christian Cordeus - Shamelessly stealing school supplies since 1993.</div></p>

[camanalis]

I've started to edit the first post <p>Caman, Camanis, Camanalis. All the same to me.</p>