Naka's first character sheet! Whee.

[Naka]

I'm pretty sure I screwed up in several places.

Name: Louke Roukan
RPer: Naka
Race: Half-beast
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Height: 5’8”
Build: Lean, but sturdy.
Eye color: Pink
Hair color: White
Other: Louke is albino. When fighting in daylight, Louke’s MP is drained by an amount equal to 1+1d4 every hour. When out of MP, HP is drained instead. Upon reaching level five, Louke will be able to regenerate (Char. Level - 3) TP per turn. Once Louke reaches level 15, he will be able to tap into a skill known as Bestial Rage, allowing him to fully harness the power of his beast-side. Since the kind of weapon Louke uses is unique to himself, he cannot use weapons bought from a store but can dismantle them and make his own weapons out of the raw material.

Background: Louke Roukan was born under fateful circumstances.
Conceived by a beast father and human mother, Louke was only two years old when his mother died from complications as a result of giving birth to him. His father, stricken with grief, aspired to take his own life and disappeared, leaving his child alone and without a caretaker. Abandoned and helpless, it seemed as though Louke was destined to follow his mother’s fate. He was, however, taken in by a kind young mother of two, and since then, she has been the only parent Louke has ever known. If fate had not been watching, Louke would never have lived past the age of three.

During these years of his life, Louke became extremely talented with axe weapons and developed an infatuation with them. He was extremely adept at taking apart a weapon, modifying it to fit the wielder’s needs, and putting it back together. More often than not, his creations were much more powerful than any weapon that could be bought at a store. He became known as the best weapon designer in the village.

Upon reaching the age of fourteen, Louke discovered the true nature of his origin from his foster parent. He was not, as he had believed for fourteen years, a human, but a half-beast. Since then, he has visited his mother’s grave every week, bringing flowers and paying his respects to a woman he never knew, who died before he could speak his first word. Louke marveled at how a man could run away and simply abandon his child. When he first heard the story of his father, Louke didn’t believe it. Not a word. No good man would run away from his life just because his wife died. Something didn’t fit, and Louke was determined to find out what it was.

In the dead of night, Louke crept from his bedroom with a note in his left hand and his axe in his right. Leaving the note on the table, Louke quietly opened the door and entered into the starry blackness. He vowed to return upon finding out who he was and why his father abandoned him.

Despite his rather dark and dank past, he has a rather unique outlook on life. His motto states that no moment of life should be wasted, because in death nothing has value. A bit of a freelancer, he has become a bit of a rebel and has grown used to working alone. When he has a companion, however, he seeks friendship and usually ends up making a lifelong relationship. Since his charismatic disposition isn’t very high, it takes a while for people to get accustomed to his presence. He holds no religion and has only one unshakable belief: independence. You can expect Louke to take revenge even when it isn’t asked for. Given the choice, he will not fight unless his life or the life of a friend is truly in danger.
Stats:

Level: 1
XP: 0/1000
Max HP: 65/65
Max MP: 25/25
Max TP: 28/28
Initiative 8 + 2d6

Courage: +4
Wisdom: +1
Intuition: +4
Charisma: +1
Agility: +6
Dexterity: +2
Strength: +1
Stamina: +2
Magic Aptitude: 0

Base AT/PA – 15/15
Modified for skill – 18/16
Modified for equipment – 21/21
MAttack: N/A (Never uses magic)
MBlock: 22
Missile Evasion: 26

Equipment:

Crescent Moon, Moon Axe +2/+1
Light: 8 + 1d6 (3 + skill + STR + 1d6)
Medium: 9 + 2d4 ([5 + skill + STR*2 + 2d6] -2)
Heavy: 10 + 3d6 ([8 + skill + STR*3 + 3d6] -5)
Hunter’s Hat, Light Helmet 0/+.5
Hunter’s Shirt, Light Armor 0/+2
Hunter’s Vest, Light Armor 0/+.5
Hunter’s Pants, Light Armor 0/+1
Spike Heels, Light footwear +1/+1

Skills:

Melee Weapon (Moon Axe): 4 <COU/AGI/STR>
Light Armor: 4 <COU/STR/STA>
Speed: 4 [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=naka@rpgww60462>Naka</A]&nbsp; at: 11/21/06 20:26
[/i]

[Besyanteo]

First: Loving the concept. I'm looking forward to seeing this character played!

Things I noticed on a skin over the sheet: By my count, you still have 6 skill points hanging. That's not a bad thing necesarily, but I figure you might want to spend them!

... I've never seen sun damage handled quite that way before, but I can't say I see a glaring problem with it if you're happy with it. One thing: While we see how much his MP is being drained, we don't see how often. This is significant because a round will last a few seconds, and he'll be killed pretty quickly. Once per hour, on the other hand, is fairly conservative and doesn't have him turning to ash like some kind of vampire. That's something for your own discretion, but one way or another any GM you go under will need to know. <p>

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[Kai]

I'm not sure here what you mean by "half-beast," since it would seem to me that if one of his parents were drastically non-human, he'd notice. However, this may be a terminology issue, and I think once it's cleared up we'll definitely find a way to make it work for you.

Weapon-designing! Cool. You could actually get some use out of a crafting tech that allowed him to spend TP in order to make resellable weapons. Money is awesome, and it's an easy way to give him an in-game way of making some. For an example, see this glassblowing tech one of my characters uses:

[glassblowing=1 or woodburning=1] Crafting (2TP) - Joss can use this skill to create glassworks or woodburning pieces that can be sold for rank*2 gil each.

I'll leave specific Philsys-balancing issues to either Archmage or Namagomi, but they'll likely do more accurate and relevant number-crunching than I will. <p>-------------------------
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">I've always followed my father's advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble. --John Wayne</span></p>

[Naka]

I plan to have this character save up on skill points until level 15. Bestial Rage is an expensive skill from all aspects (even though I haven't made it yet) and the more skill points Louke has in that the better off he'll be.

I edited Louke's weapon type so that it is absolutely necessary for him to use Weapon Modification. Of course, I could be wrong on many counts, but I added Weapon Modification as a non-combat skill and put some slight depth to it. GMs will have to take care of that one.

Thanks for the feedback!

[Kai]

One thing you'll want to know about skills is that you can only increase a skill by two at each level. This is to ensure that a character does not suddenly become awesome with a skill he/she did not previously invest points in.

So, if Bestial Rage is going to be a skill that he keeps at its maximum for his level, it's going to have to be something that he invests four points in now, and two points in at every level.

That's one reason why we generally recommend that you spend all the skill points you're given. They're much less useful if they aren't actually invested in anything. <p>-------------------------
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">I've always followed my father's advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble. --John Wayne</span></p>

[NamagomiMk0]

Right. I think the first thing to mention is that this is pretty impressive; you've pretty much covered most of your bases here as far as backstory, and general stats. You're right, you do have a few issues, but you bothered to learn the system in general before making a sheet. Good job on that.

Now, as far as the things wrong here.

Your math is fine on your attributes. Thing is, though, it's commonly been ruled that someone who has no MAG has no MP at all. As such, he'll have no MP. Also, I'm somehow doubting a bit that albinism works like that. You'd burn REALLY easily, but I'd say that for the most part, it'd be okay as long as he doesn't have too much skin exposed--he might prefer heavy clothing and gloves. A lot.

Your math is good, I'll give you that. No issues on the AT/PA front and all--at least until you get into the equipment. I'm pretty sure you're just mistaken in how armor works, as well as weapons in this system. That armor would likely be equivalent to clothing; no AT/PA bonus and AC of 2. Likewise, that axe is way too good. Not in damage, but that accuracy and PA bonus is more in the ranks of magical items. It might be notable, though, that this damage is actually not fitting for axes--even a sickle (0/-1, 4/7/10, Light weapon) does better damage. I'd change to the stats of either the aforementioned sickle, the hand axe (-1/0, 6/8/14, medium weapon) or the hatchet (-1/-1, 9/12/18, medium weapon, requires +1 STR). If only because I'm REALLY iffy about giving a starting character magical gear at all. Want to know why? Ask Enlil.

Now, for skills--I'm curious if "Speed" has a side-effect aside from being what seems to be a tech prerequisite; I'll get into those later. On those lines, you can't make a tech that has only a [s] skill as a prerequisite--said skills tend to be [Innate]--but that's often for passive qualities, not something like stances.

Anyway, back on point: 30 skillpoints to spend, and you seem to have followed previous advice to spend them. So all I really have to bother with is techs now...

...hoo boy. I see that you need a couple of pointers in techs. Really, I'd trash all of the combat skills and start anew; Not only are a lot of the weapon techs redundant, but in some ways, nonsensical. Axe Slam needs to be done away with, and there's a standardized tech to use in place of Axe Roundhouse that would probably work better. Whirlwind Sling...ugh. Honestly, you managed to irritate me with "hits all enemies" there, aside from there not really being any feasible way to get it to hit; you'd need a WHOLE new weapon skill just for the "modified" version of that weapon, seeing as it would likely fit in the same family as kusari-gama. Note that this assumes that this is good rope that wouldn't break. The "stances" are likewise quite broken; extra damage isn't too bad, but reduced technique cost and percentile damage reduction?! Trash those, get some assistance on how to do stances. Constant Dash is ridiculously strong in the benefits (And what's with the 5d10?), and Constant Strike is also insane (and CHEAP for its benefits).

Really, work out the technique issues and the equipment stuff, and it should be solid. And one last thing; Don't expect to hit Level 15 anytime soon. Some of us have had our characters for a LONG time, and they're still only Lv7-9 at best. Keep that in consideration before you assign level limits to abilities. <p>"DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT US? OUR TREASURE MAY BE HEAVY, BUT WE ARE LIGHT AS WIND. ONLY MAGICS MAY HURT US, BUT ONLY WE KNOW WHICH ONES." --Omoikane, Digital Devil Saga 2</p>

[Kai]

Despite the fact that you've been careful to factor in pretty notable penalties to just about all of the weapon techs, I'll defer to Nama in that some of them are likely unnecessary due to standardized techs already existing to do the same thing, and in that some of them are probably a bit unbalanced.

You'll notice that HP doesn't scale up as fast as with many other systems. As a result of this, multiple attacks are very powerful in philsys. That's why it's so difficult to pull off, and why most weapon techs only give you one special attack. Despite the penalties you've given to the techs, they have the potential to be a bit more powerful than a first-level character will need.

Other than that, I'm really glad to see that you're tackling philsys. I didn't when I first got here because the rules were too much for my head. Because a lot of people had that problem, they were revamped a bit and --most importantly-- compiled on the wiki. If you had any issues finding information or if something can be presented more clearly to future new members, please let me know. We've been trying to make this system easier to learn, and if you've got any input, contact me or Namagomi, or Idran, or Kelne, or any number of other people.

Just let us know what we can do to help. *thumbs up* <p>-------------------------
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">I've always followed my father's advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble. --John Wayne</span></p>

[Besyanteo]

In the mean time, while all this technical stuff is still getting worked out, we should see about getting you into a CI. Do you have AIM? We tend to hang around in RPGWW Chat,most of the time.

You can reach me as "Besyanteo" or Kai as "Lithaladhwen" online. We'll see about getting you into some introductory RP stuff! Nama here can be reached as "T3chn0Namagomi" if you want to work with him personally on your PhilSys sheet.

Hope to talk to you soon! <p>

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[Kai]

Bes has the right of it. <p>-------------------------
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">I've always followed my father's advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble. --John Wayne</span></p>

[Spleen]

Incidentally, because it can't be stressed enough, Namagomi is abrasive to absolutely everyone and everything he talks to, and you shouldn't take the negative comments he made about your abilities personally. What you've done here is create a working Philsys sheet that needs a little fine-tuning from those in the know. In less than a month, I'll have been on this forum five years, and I still need more help than you do on Philsys, so take heart.

Anyway, welcome to the board, my name is Spleen. If you have any (non-Philsys-related) questions or problems, you can slap me an IM; my screenname these days is DeusFio. <p>-_-___-___-___-_-

"There are four types of men: one who says what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours - he is a neutral person. One who says what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine is a fool. One who says what's mine is yours and what's yours is yours is righteous. One who says what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine is evil."
-Talmud, Avot 5:13

Arch mage144: Spleen doesn't bother with penis size contests; instead, he goes straight to penis number.</p>Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=spleeninfinity13>SpleenInfinity13</A]&nbsp; at: 11/23/06 2:49

[Idran1701]

Since my name was mentioned, if you do need my help with anything, my AIM screen name's Idran1701. Happy to help with whatever I can, and I hope you stick around! <p>

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"Never let your morals get in the way of doing what is right" - Salvor Hardin
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[Naka]

Namagomi: Okay. Thanks for your, uh...descriptive review.
Kai: Thanks, man, although I'd probably end up complicating the system rather than simplifying it.
Besyanteo: Thanks, and...what's a CI?
Spleen: Sticks and stones, man. Give me three seconds and I'm over it. Thanks.
Idran: Hope I stick around, too. Thanks.

[Besyanteo]

Cahracter Interaction; It's a Roleplay where several characters meet and talk and such, though generally speaking there's no goal or objective to accomplish or any evil overlord to stomp on. It doesn't sound great at first, but some of my best fun here has been taking part in CI. <p>

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[Kai]

Bes is right. A CIRP is a lot like an episode of Seinfeld. Half the time nothing epic happens, but some of the funniest and most unexpected character development happens there.

It's also where a lot of GMs set up PCs to be in plots. I tend to use CIRPS as ways to introduce key NPCs and plot hooks.

So, yeah. That's where everything that isn't a formal plotted RP happens. They're good stuff. If you want me to invite you to them, just IM me and I'll add you to my CIRP-recruiting list. <p>-------------------------
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">I've always followed my father's advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble. --John Wayne</span></p>