The Most Stereotypical RPG Ever (Freestyle RP)

For all RPs taking place in other settings.
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Nakibe
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The Most Stereotypical RPG Ever (Freestyle RP)

Unread postby Nakibe » Tue Jul 08, 2003 3:05 pm

Narrator: Deep in the Forests of Greenness on a world named Nevermind, there was a boy.... a 14 year old boy. Orphaned by his parents in the town of Destiny, this child would grow up to be... something or other, can't quite remem... AH, a HERO. A Legend in his own right. (or at least in his own mind). Come with me. Follow the legend as this young boy with strange, spikey hair manages to save the world from a despicable.....

???: <span style="color:red;">HEY, is it time for my Evil Laughter yet?</span>

Narrator: No no, not yet.

???: <span style="color:red;">How 'bout now?</span>

Narrator: NOT.. YET, PLEASE. I'm TRYING to start the STORY over here.

???: <span style="color:red;">Whoops. Sorry.</span>

Narrator: *ahem* Okay, now where was I? Ah, yes. Let us join our spikey haired hero as he goes off to save the world from this despicable, diabolical evil that threatens it.

....

*AHEM*

???: <span style="color:red;">Now?</span>

Narrator: YES, NOW.

???: <span style="color:red;font-size:large;">BWAHAHAHAAHAHA</span>

Narrator: *mumbles to himself* last time I take a low-budget gig just because I'm strapped for cash....




Elementalist Daien
 

WHOO!

Unread postby Elementalist Daien » Tue Jul 08, 2003 8:31 pm

And so, deep down in the Forest of Greenness, our hero stood, sword in hand. A figure standing at a height of around five feet eight (adding a few more inches if you count the hair), a living mass of muscle, hair, and the total lack of anything resembling the slightest bit of fashion sense. Like most days, today, he was hunting. Because there is no hero without the ability to hunt. His parents were killed by evil soldiers, and since then, he had to hunt for his own food. But as the hero, he was good at that.

Hero: Hey! Come over here!

The Hero ran, he ran after his prey, waiting in the brush... But little did he know, as he jumped, trying to impale the ... well, thing... With his oversized sword, that the ground would collapse.

But, well, it did.

Hero: Well, damn! Good thing I have a thick skull.

He woke up, a few hours later, in an underground shrine. Stereotypical candles lit up from his position as he walked forward, accompanied by similarly stereotypical runes all over the ground and the stereotypical background music.

As he reached he end, he saw a huge, huge statue, of something... He could not understand what it was, but he felt it was familiar... It was decorated with gold, gems, everything... And it spoke...

Statue: You have come!

Hero: Um, hey, you're a talking statue. How the hell can statues talk.

Statue: I'm a magical statue.

Hero: And why is there a shrine underground?

Statue: So you can find it. Duh. Oh yeah. I have to tell you that you have a great destiny in front of you, and that you are destined to stop evil.

Hero: Really?

Statue: Yep

Hero: Blimey. But what if I don't want to?

Statue:The Village of Destiny is burning. They burnt it.

Hero: Well, fuck.

And so, after he learnt this shocking news... It was time for him to pack up his clothes, his weapons, and his food, and go on a journey! TO SAVE THE WORLD! Like all other heroes, you know.

Edited by: Elementalist Daien at: 7/8/03 8:35 pm

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Re: WHOO!

Unread postby LadyDragonClawsEDW » Tue Jul 08, 2003 9:06 pm

MEANWHILE IN THE TOWN OF CAPITALVILLE!

The female lead...er...NPC walked back and forth in front of the village.

"Will you buy a flower? They're only 2 gyrupees!"

Back and forth back and forth...

"Will you buy a flower? They're only 2 gyrupees!"

Though...she looks different from the other NPCs, she always was, she never looked anything like her parents, even the standard NPC uniform didn't look right on her, something was up.

"Will you buy a flower? They're only 2 gyrupees!"

...cripes that's getting annoying...

"Tell me about it" >_>;


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MWhahahah *cough* @_@

Unread postby FF Fanatic 80 » Tue Jul 08, 2003 9:44 pm

Elsewhere, in secluded, stormy and dark mountains, which always seemed to be dark and stormy, despite the fact that doing so defies all the known rules of nature and weather, someone rested in their lair, observing our 'Hero' in a makeshift crystal embedded in the floor. Cause, you know, all bad guys have some big glowing crystal thing.

Mysterious Evil Guy: ...eeeeeeeeexcellent, the prophecy is starting to unfold. Soon, he will guide me to that which I seek, the untold tales of a thousand years, power beyond anything ever seen over the ages.

It was at this point, however, that he saw said hero walk into a tree, fall down, and then promptly challenge it to a duel.

Mysterious Evil Guy: ...then again, perhaps I should... 'intervene' somewhat, lest my opportunity slip from my grasp.

And so, dawning a light green cape to cover everything but his lower face, he became Mysterous Cloaked Guy, off to find the Hero of Destiy Village in order to rid the world of great evil. Or so he claimed.

Mysterious Cloaked Guy:Hey Hero!! Want some help in destroying the wo... I mean saving... the... GAH I need practice! It's so hard to drop old habits ;_;


Elementalist Daien
 

Re: MWhahahah *cough* @_@

Unread postby Elementalist Daien » Tue Jul 08, 2003 9:55 pm

The Hero, upon recieving this question, blinked a few times. Then scratched his head. Then blinked a few more times. Then, finally, the question and the guy finally bore through that skull of his, and he understood... Sort of.


Hero: Uh... SURE! I always could do with someone to show me around, even if I can't see their face. What happened, a dog bit it off or something?


With a huge grin, he slapped him on the back, with strength enough to make him fly a few feet (he IS the hero, you know), and grinned widely like only a hero can do... Before slamming a small pack, somehow weighing a few tons on him.

Hero: You can help me carry my stuff too! So, mysterious cloaked figure man guy thing, where should we go next?


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*Ouch*

Unread postby FF Fanatic 80 » Tue Jul 08, 2003 10:01 pm

MCG: ....carry your stuff?! Why you insulent little...!

It was then that his evil lusting for power overrode his evil lusting for gorey, violent slaughter of the moron.

MCG: ...I mean SURE! ^_^ One for all and all for one, right! LETS SAVE THE WORLD! =D

And so, Mysterious Cloaked Guy joined the Hero in his epic quest... by carrying heavy luggage.

MCG: IM: What one does for power... *grrrrr*


Elementalist Daien
 

Re: *Ouch*

Unread postby Elementalist Daien » Tue Jul 08, 2003 10:10 pm

Hero: Watch the pack, too! I've got all my hairgel there! The statue told me that I need it to be a hero!


Then he stared at empty space for a few seconds, before adding...

Hero: ... Where shall we go now? We have to start somewhere to SAVE THE WORLD! And since the Village of Destiny is burned to the ground..


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Re: *Ouch*

Unread postby FF Fanatic 80 » Tue Jul 08, 2003 10:12 pm

MCG I know where you can go... TO THE FIERY PITS OF HE...

.......

MCG I mean... GOSH GOLLY, I think I remember a SPIFFY place called "Capitalville" at the edge of the forest!

MCG IM: Which I will burn to the ground... well once this is all over, of course.

Edited by: FF Fanatic 80&nbsp; Image at: 7/8/03 10:19 pm

Elementalist Daien
 

Re: *Ouch*

Unread postby Elementalist Daien » Tue Jul 08, 2003 10:26 pm

Hero: Wait a second! You mean, like, the capital city, with all those lot people which look exactly the same and always say the exact same thing?


...


Hero: Well, I don't know. I always lived in a VILLAGE with FEW people who look exactly the same and always say the exact same thing..




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Re: *Ouch*

Unread postby FF Fanatic 80 » Tue Jul 08, 2003 10:29 pm

MCG: IM: must resist... instinctive... urge to... destroy... e.@

MCG: Yeah, but, they'll have lots and lots of SHINEY THINGS =D


Elementalist Daien
 

Re: *Ouch*

Unread postby Elementalist Daien » Tue Jul 08, 2003 10:37 pm

Hero: WHOOO! SHINY THINGS! AND WE CAN GO KILL MONSTERS AROUND THE CITY TOO, TO GET MONEY TO AFFORD THEM!


... The hero seemed to like this idea, and so decided to set off towards Capitalville... But, on the way, a thought came to his mind... ... Yes, a thought came to his mind. Uncharacteristic, isn't it?

Hero: Why DO they move around always the same way and repeat the same lines, anyway?


The MCG knew to cherish the moment the hero said something intelligent...


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Re: *Ouch*

Unread postby FF Fanatic 80 » Tue Jul 08, 2003 10:39 pm

...as much as MCG hated to admit it, the imbecile had a point. All his life, he had watched people in so many towns behave this way, always the same clothes, the same speach, the same walking pattern. It was almost maddening. Maddening enough to turn a former NPC mad with the desire to reshape the world with incredible power. So it came as no suprise when he said:

MCG: ...I don't have a DAMN CLUE O_o;;;


Elementalist Daien
 

Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby Elementalist Daien » Tue Jul 08, 2003 10:51 pm

With that, the Hero, for no reason which was readily apparent to the MCG, burst out laughing. After he finished, he said, simply.


Hero: Then they say I'M stupid! But anyway, let's go!

With that, he turned around and walked off, re-arranging his hair with both hands, free since the MCG was the one carrying the luggage anyway.




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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby FF Fanatic 80 » Tue Jul 08, 2003 10:54 pm

And MCG Guy followed, thankful for the obscuring hood, lest Hero see the complete and utter rage and hate gazing into his soul, as he carried the luggage after him.


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby LadyDragonClawsEDW » Tue Jul 08, 2003 11:00 pm

MEANWHILE

Female Lead/NPC Will you buy a flower? It's only 2 gyrupee!



...yeah.


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby Nakibe » Tue Jul 08, 2003 11:51 pm

Suddenly and out of nowhere, an evil voice that sounded very evil indeed could be heard around the Hero and his mysterious cloaked companion. It said.. stuff. Stuff kinda like

???: <span style="color:red;">Another hero, eh? 's the third one this week. Ah, well, you'll never be able to interfere with my Evil plans, so here's some fuzzy mutated cute things to play with.</span>

And with that, black lightning struck the cute and fuzzy animals of the Forest of Greenness.... and a Terriffic fight ensued!!! Or something vaguely similar to that.


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby FF Fanatic 80 » Wed Jul 09, 2003 12:18 am

MCG listened to the taunting voice, watching in shock as the formerly fuzzy (and sickeningly cute) animals growled and snarled. There was only one thing he could think of.

MCG: IM: WHAT THE HELL??!! *I'M* SUPPOSED TO BE THE BADGUY (eventually) DAMMIT!!!! e.e+++

MGC Prepared for battle, in order to prove his superiority to this 'so called' villain.

Edited by: FF Fanatic 80&nbsp; Image at: 7/9/03 12:21 am

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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby Shinigori V2 » Wed Jul 09, 2003 1:06 am

MEANWHILE,

The annoying reoccuring villian(Easily identified by his annoying theme music and different sprite) is standing near the female lead, thinking evil thoughs of annoying reoccuring evilness. Or kidnapping the female lead. Or maybe just being annoying and reoccuring, and not giving anything good when he was defeated. One of them.

Edited by: Shinigori V2&nbsp; Image at: 7/9/03 5:17 am

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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby Elementalist Daien » Wed Jul 09, 2003 8:03 am

Things snarling at him.... Sword... Evil guy... After making a bit of basic, yet very painful maths, the Hero finally realized what this meant..

Hero: WHOO! BATTLE! AND A BANQUET AFTERWARDS!


He turned to the MCG and with the cheezy grin some heroes are able to do, added:

Hero: I'll cook you Rabbitt tonight! No-one cooks it like me! You could ask the guys back in the Village... Well... Not really, but you get my drift.


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby NebulaQueen » Wed Jul 09, 2003 11:47 am

Suddenly, a mysterious figure

...

in a long, flowing cloak? Wouldn't that get in the way?

Meanwhile, in the Cloak Textile town of Mafioso

Leader: Vince? Benny? Convince the narrator.

Now, back to your Regulary Scheduled Fantasy Adventure

Er, I meant, in a long flowing cloak, of plus +2 agility, and +4 fashion pizazz! Mysterious cloaks, it ain't an adventure without them!

Anyways, the figure descends from one of the trees, and lands perfectly near one of the more dangerous, snarling, fuzzy things. It gets near the figure....and the figure totally suckerpunches the creature dead. He then takes off his hood...revealing himself to be a she! She turns around at the hero, and her eyes widen in shock.

Childhood Frie-, er, Mysterious Girl: Oh My [insert name of the deity who is actually the scam of a church bent on world domination], Hero!!! I haven't seen you in ages!


Elementalist Daien
 

Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby Elementalist Daien » Wed Jul 09, 2003 7:57 pm

Hero: Hey, wait a minute... It's you! But, I mean, didn't the Village of Destiny, like, just get burned to the ground or something? How are you still alive? ...

... After a bit of thinking, Hero noticed something else.

Hero: ... Wait a second, you look different from the others too! Whoo! ... And you have Rabbitt spit on your fist.

With that, he turned to the creatures, with one thought in his mind...

WHOO! FIGHT FIGHT!

... Which I hoped was a bit more intelligent than that. Go figure.


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby Zemyla » Wed Jul 09, 2003 8:05 pm

Meanwhile, in a cave on a deserted island in a storm-tossed sea...

Optional Boss: Dammit, I need these heroes to get here. Mystical secrets don't keep forever, you know.

We'll get back to him later.


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby NebulaQueen » Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:05 pm

Mysterious Girl: I'll explain later! I think there's a cutscene after the battle.

She then turns towards the monsters, and goes towards them, fists raised, ready to attack again!


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby FF Fanatic 80 » Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:43 pm

MCG watched the ensuing chaos, as the heroes fought and tried to kill the fuzzy creatuers. It was then he realized something, something important.

MCG: IM: HOLY CRAP THESE GUYS ARE TAKING TOO DAMN LONG! e.e+++

Spotting a clustered group of fuzzy creatures conveniently out of sight of the party, MCG revealed a ring adorned hand, letting out a massive blast of lighting, leaving them a charred pile of dust.

MCG: IM: Now maybe we'll FINALLY get the HELL ON THE MOVE.


Elementalist Daien
 

Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby Elementalist Daien » Wed Jul 09, 2003 11:18 pm

Meanwhile, the hero was just ... There, slashing like a true hero (except that he wasn't yet, but that's something else), as a large number of enemies fell under his powerful strikes...


... Before he heard a large explosion-like sound, and turned around to find a large number of the furry creatures dead... A person might have thanked whatever diety there could have been for it, but the Hero had other thoughts..

Hero: MAN! A LIGHTNING BOLT KILLED THEM! NOW HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET THE EXP AND GOLD?!?


... Of course, that also meant the battle was almost won!


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby FF Fanatic 80 » Thu Jul 10, 2003 8:58 pm

MCG: IM: Curses, this is something I had not anticipated on. It would seem using my 'villian' like abilites will deny the group their XP, hence making us all more liekely to die... yet not doing so will cause this adventure to last even LONGER...

With a heavy sigh, MCG retracted his ring adorned hand, instead using his bare one to cast meek, unimpressive sparks of lightning at some of the fuzzy creatures.

MCG:IM: Perhaps if I'm lucky, this journey will allow me the experience to have great power with BOTH hands... heeheh.

[i]

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Nakibe
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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby Nakibe » Sat Jul 12, 2003 4:43 pm

??? : BATTLE OVER!

Hero Gains : A small bit of EXP!
Mysterious Cloaked Guy Gains : x1 migrane headache!!
Mysterious Girl Gains : x1 Love Interest and x99 Hentai Fan


Narrator : The Lurking Evil gains x1 STAB TO THE FACE!!

??? : <span style="color:red;">OW. >.< Hey, I'm just trying to add a bit of humor to this thing.</span>

Narrator : e.e and doing a poor job.

AHEM. In ANY case, the heroic party managed to defeat the not-quite-evil cute things sent against them and started on their way towards ULTIMATE DESTINY...

??? : <span style="color:red;">Lets hope they hurry up and don't make any stops for sidequests. No mysterious caves, or anything like that... I've got a deadline to keep, you know.</span>


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby Shinigori V2 » Sat Jul 12, 2003 11:38 pm

The annoying reoccuring villian stood, eyeing the Female Lead, still plotting annoying acts of reoccuring evil.

ARV: I wish the hero would hurry up and get here, I'm bored already....


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby ChaosSteelskull » Sat Jul 12, 2003 11:56 pm

Meanwhile, in a town far away the Apparently Famous Engineer (Because only 3 NPC's that arent in his own town talk about him) sat in his home, pondering.

AFE: Hmmm....I've go these great airship plans, but no use for them! Wait, I know! I wait for some random hero to come along, saving the world and such of course, and then I'll send him on a quest for....for...uh...for stuff to build it with, yeah! Then I'll build it in a night and then..then I might be in the background of the ending credits! Yes! Thats the plan!

So the AFE stood in the same place in his home in the town only availible in the latter half of the game, waiting for the heroes to come along.


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby LadyDragonClawsEDW » Sun Jul 13, 2003 12:02 am

The Female Lead/NPC paused in her walking back and forth...

FL: Tell me about it...hey has anyone told you that you have different theme music from the rest of the town?


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby NamagomiMk0 » Sun Jul 13, 2003 12:16 am

Sadly, the AFE's home couldn't stand up to the force of your standard rocket launcher...which is why the AFE's house got blown out from underneath itself and crushed the AFE alive.

Off in the distance, a pissy guy with a rocket launcher stood...

Well....that's one excess engineer...

(I'm sorry, but IIRC, CSS, you didn't sign up for this position in this RP. Nobody showed any objections, so here we have a PKed character. You earned it.)


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby Shinigori V2 » Sun Jul 13, 2003 12:23 am

The ARV looked to the female lead with a confused look-

ARV: Y'know, you do, too. That must make us more important or something....WOO, I'M MORE IMPORTANT THEN THE REST OF YOU CHUMPS!


ChaosSteelskull
 

Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby ChaosSteelskull » Sun Jul 13, 2003 12:42 am

(*Grumble Grumble* Hold on, lemme get the godammed post...

"Hell, I'll play a small part.

Can I be "Engineer/Inventor who occasionally helps heroes with stuff, probably vehicles?" Cause that'd be fun. "

Posted in the OOC Thread, as stated. Hell, If I missed something, tell me.)


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby LadyDragonClawsEDW » Sun Jul 13, 2003 11:00 am

The rest of the NPCs froze, affixing their beady black souless NPC eyes on the ARV.

FL: "Hey shaddup, my parents are part of those "chumps"!"


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Re: Qrrbrbirlbel

Unread postby Shinigori V2 » Sun Jul 13, 2003 3:57 pm

The ARV looked back at the black, soulless NPC eyes and raised his hands.

ARV: Hey, come on, I was just kidding....^_^;;


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Doug needs to lighten the #$@#$ up >={

Unread postby FF Fanatic 80 » Sun Jul 13, 2003 4:08 pm

All of a sudden, a strange, almost beeping-like noise came from MCG's robes.

MCG: Er um... I'LL BE RIGHT BACK GUYS, NATURE CALLS! =D

Finding a secluded spot, MCG pulled out a shining purple crystal, holding it to his ear.

MCG: ...WHAT IS IT? I told you all to NEVER call me on this thing unless it was an emergency!

Mysterious Monster Thing:<font color="green"> But boss, we find silly human in broken burned home thing, and not know if smash or eat. He loud and say "NO KILL ME I MAKE FLYING METAL BIRD!"</font>

....MCG facepalmed, realizing that his minions had likely captured the one person who would be able to provide his 'friends' transport later.

MCG: ...alright alright look, find someone who's been doing a crappy job as a monster lately, and have him keep the guy underguard in some deep, dark cave. Oh, and make sure a village nearby see's you so they can tell random strangers.

Mysterious Monster Thing:<font color="green">.........so can smash him after that?</font>

MCG: NO! NO smashy unless I say so, got it? Good.

Mysterious Monster Thing:<font color="green"> Okies </font>

And thus, one of the... not so 'swift' monsters took the Apparently Famous Engineer captive, until some random group of travellers found them.

MCG returned to the group, faking a cheerful smile

MCG: ...WOW, WHAT A RELIEF THAT WAS! =D


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Re: Doug needs to lighten the #$@#$ up >={

Unread postby ChaosSteelskull » Mon Jul 14, 2003 7:26 pm

And so the AFE sat in the corner of his new home, verbally berating the monster guarding him

AFE: You know, you're a crappy guard! All yoiu do is stand there! I would've escaped if it weren't for the monsters out there! I'm a genius! This isn't suitable for someone like me! What are you doing this for!

And so, the AFE kept on ranting and raving, claiming all sorts of things until he fell asleep. That made the guard's life much easier.


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The monster will likely want to join a union now =P

Unread postby FF Fanatic 80 » Tue Jul 15, 2003 9:58 am

Mysterious Monster Thing:<font color="green">.........so can smash him now?</font>

MCG: I don't bloody CARE how much he's whining about the mildew/lack of pancakes/whatever, NO EATING HIM DAMMIT!!!

With a sigh, MCG once again returned to the group, a massive grin on his face.

MCG: Guess I drank too much water earlier, OOPSIES =D

MCG: Hey, hero guy, why's everyone look like they want to string you up by the neck? o.o?


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Re: The monster will likely want to join a union now =P

Unread postby Elementalist Daien » Tue Jul 15, 2003 10:52 am

Hero: You know... To be honest, I have no idea... But, after talking to the shrine, it may be because I am a hero and my destiny is to beat the oncoming dorkness or something like that. I didn't pay too much attention to that God/Statue/Thing... I was WAY too hungry.


The Hero then scratched his head and picked up the corpses of the cute fuzzy creatures that were still edible, so he could cook and all.


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Re: The monster will likely want to join a union now =P

Unread postby FF Fanatic 80 » Wed Jul 16, 2003 9:14 am

It was unbelieveable, the hero's words indescribable in the complete and total wrongness of it. So of course there was only one thing the Mysterious Cloaked Guy could say to said hero.

MCG: YAY FOOD! I'm starving! ^-^

Edited by: FF Fanatic 80&nbsp; Image at: 7/16/03 9:14 am

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