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Dominion

Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 12, 2006 1:06 pm
by Kai
I wrote a fic for Zea. Feel free to leave comments if you've got them.

A link to the document. <p>-------------------------
"It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit and the emperor remains an emperor." -- Sandman "The Kindly Ones" </p>

RESPONSE 01

Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 12, 2006 3:59 pm
by NamagomiMk0
I have to say, I am quite impressed with the whole thing. Amongst others, this has particularly helped show me how fucking creepy and screwed up John is...as well as the sort of "issues" she has to deal with from day to day, so to speak. It was one of those things that hooked me.

All in all, keep up the work, and stuff!


RESPONSE 03

Unread postPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 9:32 pm
by KingOfDoma
Ah, the tale that went untold.

I love your style of storytelling. Everything flowed well, and your language was well chosen throughout. As Doug said, yes, John is portrayed as creepy (Very... very... creepy), Zea's portrayed as the badass she is, and the villains were hateable, but enjoyable. (Though you may have to work on three-dimensionality on them. Not that they were bad, on the contrary, they were excellent. But seeing as you made the incredibly dense and complex characters like Zea and John, I would expect just a little less "one-note"-ness to them. Just a thought.)

All in all, for what you have accomplished in this story, it's a success. Congratulate yourself. You've done quite well.