Children in Doma

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Children in Doma

Unread postby Choark » Thu May 22, 2003 8:00 am

--Part one: The alley trap--

School was dragging on and on and on. Stewart believed that the teacher had cast a spell on the clock so it made it run slower and slower. He had a bet going that they actually really spent two days in school for just one.

It was raining which was horrible because Stewart was going to have to run home and running made him wheeze and cough but getting wet and cold made him weak and sick and he didn't want to miss another year of school like he had done already.

Though missing the rest of this day would be good.

He hated it here though, everything was different. Ever since Stewart moved he realized he no longer fitted in with everyone like he used to. Like they didn't have a Feed the Hamster time. Instead, in this school, they fed some odd looking cat which Stewart was sure had wings.

Also the water fountain was in the wrong place. Stewart pointed this out so many times but everyone just looked at him oddly to the point where he got annoyed and gave up. The water didn't taste right either, but none of the water does here.

And everyone else didn't know what not to do to Stewart. Like back home, cause this place isn't home, not really, everyone knew you don't make Stewart do P.E.

Yet on his first day he was forced to play a game of "rounders". The teacher was very nice, and she did have this wonderful smile that made Stewart blush when he thought about it but she forced him to do it.

Stewart ended up collapsing on the floor and had to rest for most of the day.

Then there was that everyone didn't know not to ask Stewart questions in class. Stewart always ended up stuttering and loosing his head half way in a sentence and having to re-start over and over. Stewart had stood answering a question for nearly half an hour just the other day, and what was worse was the teacher wouldn't let him stop until he had answered it.

No, it was more like he stood there for a whole hour!

Also they didn't know not to touch his note book. He hated it when people tried to touch his note book. It was filled with all his thoughts and feelings and ideas and what right did people have trying to see it?

Stewart always gets very angry when someone tries to read his note book. Very angry indeed. Now he has to go to see a weird man with glasses and a broken pointy nose every Tuesday to explain why it makes him angry.

At the moment he was writing in his note book about why he thought time in school was slower, while he was drawing with his other hand like the teacher asked.

Stewart was good at this sort of thing, he could always do two things at once, or maybe even three, and he always wondered why this made people feel uncomftable around him.

Everyone believed that somehow Stewart was "weird" and didn't fit in.

It took another three days, by Stewart's calculations, for school to actually end. The teacher must of done some weird spell afterwards however cause when he left school, he left in the same day he had started it in, causing him to loose the bet.

Maybe the teacher and the other class mates were in it together?

Stewart wished he had brought his jacket now, even if the hood was overly big and fell so he couldn't se as he walked, it would be better then getting soaking wet and ill again. Mom said she wouldn't know what to do if he fell ill again, which must mean the doctor won't come and see him again, cause she used to just call him out whenever Stewart got ill.

Stewart decided to take the short cut home today, for the first time ever. This was a big step, as Stewart never knew there was a short cut before, but now he did and now was the day to use it.

So for the first time he turned and went down that street.

All Stewart had to do was go near the end of the street, and go down a small narrow alley and he would pop out into a street that was a lot nearer to his house.

It meant he could cut his travel time by nearly fifteen minutes, cause it avoided lots of pointless walking around houses and such like.

As he ran in the rain he didn't look at the houses around him much, and saw only the fact that the cobbles under his feet seemed to be older and more smashed up then any other place around here.

The rain started to come down harder here and by the smell of the air he was sure there was going to be thunder, which meant his mother is going to start screaming and crying again, like she always did on stormy nights.

Stewart avoided her at those times, Seeing her crying like always upset him and she always would look at him oddly, a way that made his hair on the back of his neck and arms stand on end without any real cause.

Stewart came to near the end of the street and looked at the alley. It was a lot narrower then he first thought. He could barely squeeze through, but at least it covered him from most of the rain.

As Stewart slowly shuffled through the alley, he wondered if this was really an alley at all, or perhaps the two houses had had some argument and hated each other so much they just couldn't stand touching each other. It certainly felt that way.

He had squeezed half way down the alley when Stewart started to believe this wasn't a good idea. He was sure he could feel the walls slowly starting to come together, like that age old argument didn't mean much anymore.

Stewart felt a menace in the air, an evil that hid in the shadows and laid down traps for children and people like him. He remembered the Pond-Jackal back in his old home that pulled young children into deep ponds and drowned them by holding them like weeds.

He was always told to never to go too near the ponds edge.

This place suddenly felt like a trap. Maybe the evil he could feel was the two houses, they didn't argue but left traps for people looking for shortcuts. Perhaps this isn't the alley at all and was just a lure to bring him in and then crush him.

The idea of being crushed made Stewart wriggle through the alley even faster, though it still felt like a snails pace. If he was rushed like this, he wouldn't even leave a body and no one would know he was dead.

He pictured his mother, waiting at home for her son to return, not knowing what happened, not knowing he was dead, just like back then.

It was no good, he was so near the end but his head was spinning and he could feel the houses slowly getting closer and closer still. Stewart felt like he was already dead and just hadn't completely realized it yet. This was the end.


A girls voice awoke Stewart from his deep despair. It was so commanding that Stewart found himself trying to move to step aside before he remembered he couldn't.

"I said Move!"

Stewart looked to see who was telling him to move, when he clearly couldn't. In front of him, and blocking the route out, which was only a couple of more steps, was a girl.

She was about his age, though she seemed older. Her hair was black, so much so that it seemed to join the shadows around the alley and Stewart almost believed her hair was he shadow. She had two strange point bits of hair on her fringe, which were blond and red and they looked like small wings, in Stewart's mind. Perhaps she could fly with them?

Her eyes were burning red, and as Stewart gazed into them that they seemed to flow like water, or blood, and even sparkled.

"Are you going to move anytime this year or do I have to push?" The girl said, "whipping" her long hair. Before he could answer the girl had strode forward and gave Stewart a push.

"Bu-bu-bubu-.... But-t-t I-I." Stewart started, trying to speak. "Bu-bu-but-but I I I I Can-can-can't't." The words were so hard to form. How did other people do it all the time? "But but I can't, can't mo-mooove."

Her eyes narrowed and she seemed like she was ready to shout at Stewart. She cocked her head up and now she looked like she was looking down on him.

"You can move backwards. Come on! I'm trying to get home. Move!"

Stewart looked at her dumb founded. He only had a couple of more steps to take and he'd be out of this alley, and if he did go back then it meant he'd have to go through all that again.

"Ca-ca-can't you you?" He breathed in and started again. "Can't, can't you mo-mo"

He didn't need to finish, she was already glaring harder then before. Now her eyes burned brightly and made her hair seem all the more darker.

"You won't finish that sentence" She said, crossing her arms. "Cause I know you weren't expecting me to have to back up for you."

Stewart pulled a weird little face. He had expected it actually, and didn't see why she was so angry at that idea. All she needed to do was step a few steps backwards and he could get out of this alley.

"But but Its only a few steps step... back" He said.

The girl suddenly pulled her head to the side and covered her mouth with her hand, though not very well and laughed a horrible laugh that didn't sound real at all.

"What a silly boy." she laughed, which made Stewart angry, he hated the way she had said boy, when she was clearly the same age. "Clearer you don't understand! I'm Jenna Tymisson, Ruler of the Dark."

It was such a stupid title and from anyone else Stewart would have thought some rather rude things about them that he couldn't say out loud, cause you only ever said nice things, or not anything at all.

"And people like you move for people like me, otherwise people like you get into trouble with people like me and that's bad."

And Stewart believed it, but he stood his ground.

"Pl-please just move-ve!" It was the greatest stand of his life, in a way. Least it was the first stand of his life that didn't include his note book.

It should have ended better really. He should have won and the girl should have moved backwards and he should have came out and said thank you and got home and felt good about himself.

Except it didn't happen like that, cause the girl had glared again and suddenly said, in an odd voice.

"You will move now cause you're a boy caught in MY alley and that means you belong to me and obey me!" and it had been so commanding, and Stewart wasn't sure but he could honestly say he thought he saw two of her teeth begin to grow, which was crazy thinking. But he had backed up. He had given in. It was obvious he wouldn't be able to get home until he did so. So he'd done the Grown Up thing and nodded his head and backed off.

As she walked out the alley she snapped her fingers. "Good boy" she said and walked off, like she owned the street.

"I hate you!" Stewart cried out and ran through the alley and back home. He had to explain to his mother that he was late cause he took the short cut.

He then wrote lots of bad things about that girl in his note book.

It was later at night that Stewart began to think. As most people know, thinking too much can lead to some odd thoughts going on and Stewart's thought was very odd indeed.

He noticed how the girl had made him so angry he had managed to shout without stuttering, which he didn't even do over his note book. He also noticed how the second time he went through the alley he didn't get scared at all.

So he started thinking that perhaps the girl meant to do all that and was really nice after all.

And so, before falling asleep for the night, Stewart had convinced himself the girl had actually helped him and was a nice person after all and he wanted to meet her again.


Wheee, just had to go with this idea while it was in my head. =D who knows i may actualy continue it. *coughs*


Re: Children in Doma

Unread postby SALSAlys » Thu May 22, 2003 9:29 am

Jenna amuses me somehow. ^_^


Only things that really leap out at me right now, as I'm sleepy from early morning are some grammatical stuff....

Like when you're using "cause" as short for "because", I think it's better if you put in an apostrophe, like " 'cause ".

He was always told to never to go too near the ponds edge.

Ponds => pond's

Perhaps this isn't the alley at all and was just a lure to bring him in and then crush him.

Keep the verb tense in the sentence to only one tense; isn't => wasn't.

...probably other stuff too, but I'm too lazy to check.


Uncle Pervy


Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Thu May 22, 2003 10:50 am

Wow, Stuttering Steward got out of the slums of Bude. :D

Yay for our cross-dimensional speeh-impaired hero! He's even getting Edjumacated now! Won't Rand be jealous? ^_^


Edited by: [url=>pd]  Image at: 6/12/05 15:11

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