RPGWW

I died a week ago.

Yeah, it sounds strange, doesn't it? I didn't ever expect me to say "I'm dead." I didn't even expect myself to be like this when I died. I just expected that after I died, I'd just be in darkness. Sweet, cold, lonely darkness. But I was wrong. Looking back, I was wrong about a lot of things. Though I'll never get the chance to correct them. Second chances are the stuff of fantasies. They never do happen. In any case, Resh gave me a limited time to put this down in writing. Actually, I would have never gotten this, but Mithra put in a good word for me, and even though he's a new god, his word has a good amount of pull. So, here I am. I don't know what's going to happen to this when I'm done, but I suppose nobody will ever see it. But just in case anyone is, I won't bore you with my life story. Too many people have heard it already. So I'll continue with my story, after I died. An account from beyond, if you will. If anyone ever sees this, maybe they'll understand death. It isn't really that bad. Oh, well. I suppose people will continue to fear and hate death, even until the end of time. I didn't. Actually, I welcomed it. But now I'm rambling. I'm sorry, I don't usually write. Well, anyways, here it goes.

I knew right off I wasn't coming back. Some powerful priests can actually call the sould back into the body after death, provided it is done quickly. The only problem is that you need a body. Mine was blown into tiny bits. Some might say it was overkill, but it was necessary, in my opinion. Anything to get rid of that hellspawn is necessary. In any case, I wasn't coming back. They looked around the tower area for a day, searching for anything of me, one last trace. I didn't leave anything behind, not even my sword. It's ironic, isn't it? That sword was so much a part of me, I'm even taking it to the Great Beyond. I'd laugh, if I could. In any case, there was nothing left behind. They went to inform my mother, and brother, and wife, and...DAMMIT! She had given birth. Oh, FUCK ME! If I had known earlier...I wouldn't have done it. Now my daughter's going to grow up without a father. You see, this is why I wish I could change the past, fix my mistakes. But I never will. In any case...they were informed, and came down to my hometown. I was sort of there, observing, but unable to interact with them. Around that time, the Reaper came for me.

There was a flash, and a small nekojin with an oversized scythe came to me. I looked at her, recognizing. "A...Ayra?"

She nodded.

"I don't want to go...I want to stay...Kae...she needs me..."

"I'm sowwy, mister Altec..." She said. Then she took that scythe...and, well, it was all over.

I wish I had a second chance...I wish...but it's fading now...and I can't remember who I am...but one thing...I rem...em...ber...

Vizel....

......Vizel......

.....finally......

------

(I'm going to continue this soon.) <p>

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<div style="text-align:center">
People, the edit button is your friend. Use it.</div></p>

o_____o

Holy crapnuggets.

Adam, that is good.

And I mean gooood.

Continue this, or you will face pain. <p>

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<span style="font-size:x-small;">

Your eyes allow you to look out to the world, but they also allow the world to look into you.
</span></p>

Whoah, and just a note, Aya, as per Ara's request, is probably going to be holding some sort of service for him but you probably already know that. <p>

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One hat to rule them all.</p>

Wow. ;_; He will be missed. <p>

---

Words to live by:
OMG PRIAM: ninja sex would be neither felt nor seen by either partner
OMG PRIAM: each would just suddenly need a smoke
Choark: Good luck there. You'll have to shit out darkness and send people into oblivion.</p>

My life is flashing before my eyes. Funny, isn't it? Just like everyone says. It's going to take a long time, though. No wonder people think death is horrible. If I have to sit through everything again, I'll go crazy. So many regrets and joys and sadnesses...It's more than I can bear.

Luckily, whoever is showing this to me is also merciful. I only see short bursts...not enough to fully remember the pain. Or perhaps it is really me that is showing, remembering. I once heard a wise man say something about death. He said, "Men only think of the past before their deaths. It's as if they're searching for proof that they ever existed." I guess that this is really my subconcious trying to prove I existed. Trying to prove that my life really mattered. I don't know if it did or not. I made too many mistakes to really do good in this world. I tried, though. I became a Paladin to do good...but I could never hope to eradicate all evil. I even now realize that evil is just an abstract concept, as is good. Celestials are not "good." They just are opposite of Demons, who are supposedly "evil." Just because they destroy things, and crave power. In their mind, they're "good." In their mind, Celestials are "evil." You see, it's all a big lie. My whole LIFE was a big lie.

I can see my hometown. I can see the statue of my father, Lotherial. He has long since passed on...I wonder what he thought of me? I wasn't really that much like him, on second thought. Dhargun was always more like him. They both were rowdy, drunks...though who am I to complain? I just hope Dhargun can support Kae. He probably won't, though. He'll just go and run off after the next lady that walks to his line of sight, once he sees Kae will never fall for him. Well, I hope she never falls for him. I doubt that she would. I actually kind of hope she stays lonely for the rest of her life. I wonder if Vizel felt the same way when she died?

...I wonder if I'll ever see her again...?

-----

(Yep, still more to come) <p>

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<div style="text-align:center">
People, the edit button is your friend. Use it.</div></p>

This is just damned cool. It also has a somewhat interesting take on death. Hope to see more. ^_^ <p>---
"I died as mineral and became a plant,
I died as plant and rose to animal.
I died as animal and I was human.
Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?
Yet once more I shall die human,
To soar with angels blessed above.
And when I sacrifice my angel soul
I shall become what no mind ever concieved."
-Rumi Jalaluddin
---
"Er, sir, please keep your daughter away from that, the Drow Hourglass of Death is not a toy..."-Elements of Self RP
---
"JESUS IS NOT A FREAKY JUNGLE TOAD!"-Ultimate KoD</p>

Dear Rabbi, THE Ninja

This is very very good.

A well done bit on the final moments. <p><div style="text-align:center"> </div></p>

Nice work, dude.

Keep it coming!

Oh goodness YES! I want more! I want to know what you're getting at! <p>--------------------
"Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something." - The Dread Pirate Roberts

... frik, that's morbid.</p>

Wait... he died? o.o?

.....

And man this is written so well I've got a lump in my throat after reading this.

.... I am not crying, I have something in my eye.

As others before me have said, good story. Interesting concept and overall, good execution. However, there are two things that interrupt its 'flow' when I read it.

One is the periodic sentence fragments that are here and there occasionally...I guess it might be IC of Squintz to write that way, but still...it kinda makes me halt every time I see one.

Two are your mega-paragraphs...you might want to break them up some, expecially in your first installment. As a hint, any time someone says "Oh well," or "In any case," or things of that sort...transitional phrases...generally a new paragraph starts before or after such things.

That being said...more. *nods* <p>

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<span style="font-size:xx-small;">-=- "Why must my flaming debris be so delicious and edible? ;_;" -- FlamingDeth
-=- "oye KoD! tu griego me rockearia, si fuera griego de verdad..." -- ikozaedro
-=- "Seriously. The undead just don't stop. Great, aren't they?" -- Dirk (Skull Dragon)
-=- "Kelne's a natural magnet for everything, from lovers to planetary destroyers to carrots." -- End Reshiki</span></p>

I'm considering what else to add. Actually, I notice now that it's a bit out of order. It's all supposed to be one big last memoir, or sorts. I'm going to fix this, I swear. <p>

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<div style="text-align:center">
People, the edit button is your friend. Use it.</div></p>

Jes, you are. I say so. ={{{ <p>

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<span style="font-size:xx-small;">-=- "Why must my flaming debris be so delicious and edible? ;_;" -- FlamingDeth
-=- "oye KoD! tu griego me rockearia, si fuera griego de verdad..." -- ikozaedro
-=- "Seriously. The undead just don't stop. Great, aren't they?" -- Dirk (Skull Dragon)
-=- "Kelne's a natural magnet for everything, from lovers to planetary destroyers to carrots." -- End Reshiki</span></p>

Like I said before, I'd update this. However, I didn't want to do this part until I had gotten that far in my RP. So, now here we go!

--------------------------------

Perhaps it was because I was so close to finally dying, or perhaps it was because I wanted to be left alone, but when Mithra contacted me, it was extremely irritating. He told me some bullshit about it "not being my time." I don't believe him, really. I really think that it was my time long ago, but some cosmic twist of fate screwed up. In any case, he said he needed me. Malachias was still alive. I could barely remember, but what I did remember would have made my blood boil, if I was alive. That bastard. He toyed with life like it was nothing, then tossed them out when they no longer amused him. He's the reason I died.

Mithra asked if I wanted to go back, and of course my answer was yes. So, that's how I got back here. Mithra gave me back my old body, but that wasn't good. I was dead, no need to come back. So, I used my enchanting magics to fix myself up a new spell. I enchanted an amulet to give me an angel's form, and had Mithra place his holy symbol on it. I learned how to create and maintain a magical aura of light, becoming so proficient with it, I didn't even need to dip into the astral to maintain it, and could even keep it up during my sleep. I researched on Malachias, eventually discovering the Tzel'toah. They had a wealth of information, especially of what happened before Malachias was created. One name in particular stuck out to me: Kerov.

Kerov was the name of the first archangel slain by Malachias, who also was once Kerov's brother. It was fitting that the first victim of Malachias would return to kill him. VERY fitting. So, with this knowledge, I placed the amulet upon my neck, and activated the aura. Being an angel was something I had to get used to, but it wasn't too bad. I kind of like it, flying is one of the most exhillarating experiences I've ever had. After some practice, I was ready to take on Malachias. However, I didn't have a weapon. I normally had Redemption, my sword. However, it was destroyed in the blast.

This was when Mithra presented me with Goel. He had saved my sword, and enchanted it. It seems it always had a rudimentary intelligence, but Mithra enhanced it. Now, it can talk, and has a mind of its own. He's my only companion right now.

I have died three deaths, and was reborn each time. I died once as Masqueetes, and Squintz Altec was born. I died physically, and was reborn, and Squintz Altec died, to give birth to Kerov. The only regret I have is that I'll never see the ones I love again. They can't know. One day, we'll be reunited, but until that day, they can't know I'm alive.

I am Kerov, the Archangel under the employ of Mithra. And this time, I shall not fail. Justice shall reign supreme. <p>

---

<div style="text-align:center">
People, the edit button is your friend. Use it.</div></p>

Very well written, Adam.

It's all coming together, now...

*shows an edited version*
---------------------------

There was a flash, and a small nekojin with an oversized scythe came to me. I looked at her, recognizing. "A...Ayra?"

She nodded.

"I don't want to go...I want to stay...Kae...she needs me..."

"I'm sowwy, mister Altec..." She said. Then she took that scythe...and, well, it was all over.

I wish I had a second chance...I wish...but it's fading now...and I can't remember who I am...but one thing...I rem...em...ber...

Vizel....

...I wonder if I'll ever see her again...?

****

My eyes opened, awakening me from my bad dream. It hit me, just now.

I died a month ago.

Yeah, it sounds strange, doesn't it? I didn't ever expect myself to say "I'm dead." I didn't even expect myself to be like this when I died. I just expected that after I died, I'd just be in darkness. Sweet, cold, lonely darkness. But I was wrong. Looking back, I was wrong about a lot of things. Though I'll never get the chance to correct them. Second chances are the stuff of fantasies. They never do happen. Actually, I would have never gotten this, but Mithra put in a good word for me, and even though he's a new god, his word has a good amount of pull. So, here I am. I don't know what's going to happen to this when I'm done, but I suppose nobody will ever see it. But just in case anyone is, I won't bore you with my life story. Too many people have heard it already. So I'll continue with my story, after I died. An account from beyond, if you will. If anyone ever sees this, maybe they'll understand death. It isn't really that bad.

Oh, well. I suppose people will continue to fear and hate death, even until the end of time. I didn't. Actually, I welcomed it. But now I'm rambling. I'm sorry, I don't usually write. Well, anyways, here it goes.

I knew right off I wasn't coming back. Some powerful priests can actually call the sould back into the body after death, provided it is done quickly. The only problem is that you need a body. Mine was blown into tiny bits. Some might say it was overkill, but it was necessary, in my opinion. Anything to get rid of that hellspawn is necessary. In any case, I wasn't coming back. They looked around the tower area for a day, searching for anything of me, one last trace. I didn't leave anything behind, not even my sword. It's ironic, isn't it? That sword was so much a part of me, I'm even taking it to the Great Beyond. I'd laugh, if I could.

In any case, there was nothing left behind. They went to inform my mother, and brother, and wife, and...DAMMIT! She had given birth. Oh, FUCK ME! If I had known earlier...I wouldn't have done it. Now my daughter's going to grow up without a father. You see, this is why I wish I could change the past, fix my mistakes. But I never will. In any case...they were informed, and came down to my hometown. I was sort of there, observing, but unable to interact with them.

My life is flashing before my eyes. Funny, isn't it? Just like everyone says. It's going to take a long time, though. No wonder people think death is horrible. If I have to sit through everything again, I'll go crazy. So many regrets and joys and sadnesses...It's more than I can bear.

Luckily, whoever is showing this to me is also merciful. I only see short bursts...not enough to fully remember the pain. Or perhaps it is really me that is showing, remembering. I once heard a wise man say something about death. He said, "Men only think of the past before their deaths. It's as if they're searching for proof that they ever existed." I guess that this is really my subconcious trying to prove I existed. Trying to prove that my life really mattered. I don't know if it did or not. I made too many mistakes to really do good in this world. I tried, though. I became a Paladin to do good...but I could never hope to eradicate all evil. I even now realize that evil is just an abstract concept, as is good. Celestials are not "good." They just are opposite of Demons, who are supposedly "evil." Just because they destroy things, and crave power. In their mind, they're "good." In their mind, Celestials are "evil." You see, it's all a big lie. My whole LIFE was a big lie.

I can see my hometown. I can see the statue of my father, Lotherial. He has long since passed on...I wonder what he thought of me? I wasn't really that much like him, on second thought. Dhargun was always more like him. They both were rowdy, drunks...though who am I to complain? I just hope Dhargun can support Kae. He probably won't, though. He'll just go and run off after the next lady that walks to his line of sight, once he sees Kae will never fall for him. Well, I hope she never falls for him. I doubt that she would. I actually kind of hope she stays lonely for the rest of her life. I wonder if Vizel felt the same way when she died?

It doesn’t really matter. Mithra made it so I won’t have to ponder it too long. That bastard brought me back to life.

Perhaps it was because I was so close to finally dying, or perhaps it was because I wanted to be left alone, but when Mithra contacted me, it was extremely irritating. He told me some bullshit about it "not being my time." I don't believe him, really. I really think that it was my time long ago, but some cosmic twist of fate screwed up. In any case, he said he needed me. Malachias was still alive. I could barely remember, but what I did remember would have made my blood boil, if I was alive. That bastard. He toyed with life like it was nothing, then tossed them out when they no longer amused him. He's the reason I died.

Mithra asked if I wanted to go back, and of course my answer was yes. So, that's how I got back here. Mithra gave me back my old body, but that wasn't good. I was dead, no need to come back. So, I used my enchanting magics to fix myself up a new spell. I enchanted an amulet to give me an angel's form, and had Mithra place his holy symbol on it. I learned how to create and maintain a magical aura of light, becoming so proficient with it, I didn't even need to dip into the astral to maintain it, and could even keep it up during my sleep. I researched on Malachias, eventually discovering the Tzel'toah. They had a wealth of information, especially of what happened before Malachias was created. One name in particular stuck out to me: Kerov.

Kerov was the name of the first archangel slain by Malachias, who also was once Kerov's brother. It was fitting that the first victim of Malachias would return to kill him. VERY fitting. So, with this knowledge, I placed the amulet upon my neck, and activated the aura. Being an angel was something I had to get used to, but it wasn't too bad. I kind of like it, flying is one of the most exhillarating experiences I've ever had. After some practice, I was ready to take on Malachias. However, I didn't have a weapon. I normally had Redemption, my sword. However, it was destroyed in the blast.

This was when Mithra presented me with Goel. He had saved my sword, and enchanted it. It seems it always had a rudimentary intelligence, but Mithra enhanced it. Now, it can talk, and has a mind of its own. He's my only companion right now.

I have died three deaths, and was reborn each time. I died once as Masqueetes, and Squintz Altec was born. I died physically, and was reborn, and Squintz Altec died, to give birth to Kerov. The only regret I have is that I'll never see the ones I love again. They can't know. One day, we'll be reunited, but until that day, they can't know I'm alive.

I am Kerov, the Archangel under the employ of Mithra. And this time, I shall not fail. Justice shall reign supreme.
<p>

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<div style="text-align:center">
People, the edit button is your friend. Use it.</div></p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=squintzaltec>Squintz] at: 3/1/03 9:32:40 pm

;_; That is so good Adam! *was crying when she read it*


...... *dashes off, not being able to say anything else about such a wonderfully written piece*


<p><div style="text-align:center">"You know child, I have a saying that may or may not help with your situation...Life is like a painting; You choose what goes on the easel, but sometimes you don't know what colors are on your palet...The only thing to do is dip the brush in and try it..." ~Antoneo Rodriguez (My character, so make your own philosophical remarks XD)</div></p>Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=pdrydia>pd]&nbsp; at: 6/11/05 17:24