WE NOW INTERRUPT THIS INSTALLMENT OF "WHEN MONKEYS GO BAD AND WRITE BAD FANFICTION" FOR THIS SPECIAL SHOW.
*crappy game show music plays*
Welcome to...GREATEST HITS! And now for your hosts, the most oxymoronic (and we mean that in a VERY bad way,) duo, Squintz and Dhargun!
*both enter in a display of flashing lights. These lights later are reported to give seizures to children, and 10 people die due to them.*
Dhargun: Thank you, thank you! Oh, stop applauding. No need to applaud, just throw me your wives. Except you, sir. *points to a man in the audience* You can keep her.
*audience stops applauding*
Squintz: Well, we have a great show today!
Dhargun: That we do. We have recently learned of the untimely death of possibly the GREATEST RP IN THE HISTORY OF MAN.
Squintz: ...and as we love to preserve the lovely, we're presenting you with...
Both: INNER ELEMENTS GREATEST HITS!
Squintz: So just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!
------------------------------
-Herbie-
It was August 13, 999. The millenia was closing in and the Cult of Death was begining to awaken once more. The Gems of the Elements have found their new masters. Looking for them the Cult will take no prisoners. Destroying all that stand in their way of obtaining their gems to begin the Apocolypse..........
It was a cold night. Thalakos had just finished his latest mission to do another lame treasure hunt. Of course it didnt suceed. None of them do. There is no real treasure in this world. Everyone is rich how is it possible to find more treasure? As he began walking toward the inn Thalakos looked toward the sky and saw a flaming ball heading straight towards him. Running towards the inn as fast as possible but unable to escape the his fiery death. "I dont want to die!" The flaming ball hits him in the chest.....it was three hours before he awoke. A large whole gapped in his clothing where the ball hit yet the skin looked....untouched. How is this possible?! It hit me clear in the chest, he thought to himself. The sun was rising on the City of Malkir. Picking himself up he walked towards the inn. Opening the door he stumbles to the bar. "A pint of ale please." Turning around he looked at the bar. A large man glaced back and him. "What areee you lookin at boy?" Shrugging it off Thalakos looks around the rooms. Feeling a sharp pain in his shoulder he looks to his right and notices the large man holding a small sword. "Next time i talk to yah answer me or im gonna do something worse than stick this in yer shoulda boy!" Becoming angry Thalakos pushes him away when all of a sudden his hands become hot...like their on fire. "Aggghhh",he screams. A sudden burst of fire is released from his hands and the large man tumbles out the door ripping at his fiery clothing. The bartender, with his shaking hands Thalakos the ale. "How much sir?" "N..n..nothing!" Shreiking in terror the bartender runs back to his kitchen. What happened back there? Thalakos gets the feeling this isnt the end of weird happenings.
Dhargun: Hey, Squintz...how are we gonna understand this?
Squintz: I came prepared. *pulls out a Dumbass-to-English dictionary, and translates*
Dhargun: ...wow. There's nothing better than getting your destiny from a flaming ball.
Squintz: Well, if it's the will of Justice...
Dhargun: ...
-Herbie-
Thalakos looking puzzled looked at the others. "Wh..Whats going on? HOW THE HELL DID I DO THAT!" Looking at his own hands he trembled. Remembering the fireball that had hit him only hours before and rubbed his chest. The first thought that ran through his mind was Magic. But how could this be?! Hed read about magic in books and heard of it in fairy tales but it always went to someone deserving of the power. Looking around the room again Thalakos asked, "Who are you people?"
Squintz: Basically, he's saying that he doesn't deserve magic.
Dhargun: Yeah, that sounds about right.
-He Whose Name I Dare Not Speak (Lord shadowbitch)-
"The Cult of Death is planning to use those granted with the Gems in their plans to turn the world into a barren wasteland of blood and death."said Eden
"Thats about it"
Dhargun: ......... *bangs head on wall*
Squintz: You have to admire their nonchalance about this, though.
Dhargun: I'm sorry, Dhargun is not avaliable to take your call. Please leave a message at the sound of the beep...
-HWNIDNS-
"I want us to avoid the cult as much as possible"Said Eden "In fact if it helps i'll even get us out of this inn now we have drawn too much attenthion to ourselevs the cult is already here there blocking the door so we'll have to go out "The backdoor".
With that he raised hs hand and aimed it at a wall,Suddnly a black vortex apperead and sucked away the wall.
Suddnly a cult member walked in the room "Halt you are the gem keepers" said the cult member.
without a word Eden threw another Shadow Blade at the cult member,It hit and killed him in a single shot.
"Lets go out the Backdoor i made quick before more follow him".
Squintz: Talk about your coincidences...
Dhargun: Beeep!
Squintz: *smacks Dhargun*
Dhargun: ..wha...what? OH GOD WHY IS THIS NOT A DREAM?
-HWNIDNS-
Moveing swiftly Eden jumped through the vortex,Only he expected th small group of cult members standing outside the vortex's exit,With another wave of his hand the vortex shot at the cult members,Swalloing them as soon as it hit them.
Dhargun: Can you say..."godmode?"
Squintz: Why yes I can. Godmode.
Dhargun: *facepalm* No, you dolt. I mean...this guy can take on all of Doma...with both hands tied behind his back, jumping on one leg, and singing a merry Irish jig!
Squintz: Yeah, and don't forget about the pot roast that he could simmer to perfection while doing that too.
-HWNIDNS-
Suddnly Eden felt a pain in the back of his head.
"No...i can't not here"
Then as he started to grip his head in pain,a voice was in his head.
"Eden give me control of your mind" the voice said
"Fine" said Eden to himself
Suddnly he started Cackiling madly
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH....KILL KILL KILL"
He laughed as he pulled out his katana.
Squintz: *translating* And so, the player of Eden decided his character was not stupid enough, and so made him go on a murderous rampage.
Dhargun: You know, if I had a voice that ordered command of my head, I wouldn't just give it up, I'd fight for it!
Squintz: And still lose.
Dhargun: SHUT UP!
Announcer: Well, we're going to take a short commerci-
Squintz: FIEND! JUSTICE! *throws holy energy at Dhargun*
Dhargun: ANARCHY! *throws shadow energy at Squintz*
Announcer: ...okay, a LONG commercial break. Be right back! <p>
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People, the edit button is your
friend. Use it.</div></p>