It is an essay-like thing. Y'all are smart, so I don't need to point out the glaringly obvious fact that it's a [--No, no, DENIED. I refuse to explain this, FFS!--].
I would like to post this to Deviantart (you'll notice references--I can dig up specific links and/or expand on events here, if'n ye like.), whose varied and ever-interesting patrons never cease to provide me with antics of constant inspiration. However, some critique would be appreciated before the whole porting to over there. I'm hoping for the variety "harsh" and as specific as possible.
However, all comments are welcome, even ones consisting only of emoticons. :0 Please don't just read it and wander away without commenting at all. :[ It makes baby Migi cry.
Special inspiration notes to Mike, Triptychr on DA, and all contributors to DArama. :3
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[[[HAY GUYZ u SHULD REED TE NEW VERSUHN KAY LOLOLOLOLOS ADVERNTURE heeeee.]]]
<small>Hello! I am an artist, and I exist to corrupt your children!
Paintings, literature, music, theatre, movies, video games: we are responsible for these. Across the world, innumerable new artists are produced every day, inspired by the inordinate amount of existing artwork--art that is being furiously churned out even as I write. With such recent innovations as the personal computer and the internet, not only is both the creation and distribution of artwork vastly expediated, but even new forms of and takes on artwork are being conceived. The end result?
Greater ability and reach of subtler, more seductive forms of corruption.
It is fortunate for us that the very word artwork has acquired distinctly positive connotations in the majority of today's societies. Thanks to the efforts of misguided intellectuals, liberal "bleeding arts" education, and our own agents in the field, the line of what is considered art and what isn't is being pushed further and further. Now, many will look at Grand Theft Auto 3 and see art...and art is good. Relabeling pornography as erotica suddenly turns it into art, and thus, acceptable--even praise-worthy! Some will even see art in the cigarette butt kicked into the crevice between two cobblestones paving the ground!
Of course, expanding the definition of art is by no means anything new. Look at "A Modest Proposal." An essay by the devious master of "satire" Jonathan Swift, this piece of literature advocates the sale of infants by the monetarily disadvantaged for skinning and consumption; a cure, he writes, for the dual problems of poverty and hunger! My very own English teacher--no less than a Benedictine Sister of Saint Walburg Monastery--was completely taken in by this man's clever writing, introducing me to this particular essay when she read it aloud to my class with great enthusiasm.
My dear Sister Mary Carol was certainly not one of the few who see our work for what it is--the undermining of morality, society's very foundation. In the annals of history, one can find the names of several pieces of banned art; "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," for instance, or the incendiary "Civil Disobedience." Fortunately, common prejudice protects certain art forms--photography, for instance, and literature. Thus, the efforts of those wise to our intentions often amount to little in the end. Today, at such venues such as "Deviantart," the righteous uproar of those who were not fooled by the so-called artistic "Suicide Girls" was gleefully crushed under the oppressive heel of the website's corrupted regime. The outcry later resulting in response to a painting entitled "Absinthe"--which will no doubt send your innocent, frail, and impressionable young children scurrying for the dictionaries--was quieted with even swifter efficiency.
Unfortunately, it is taking longer than expected to get certain forms of artwork widely accepted; movies, for instance, and video games. In retrospect, we should have eased in more slowly the sex, drugs, and rock and roll. It was a mistake to look at the other, acceptable forms of art and judge what we could get away with based on those. You would think it would be logical to think that a piece as bloody as, say, the Bible*, would be as equally corrupting as the violent game Katamari Damacy**; however, if there is one thing my foray into the dark side has taught me, it is that logic isn't the strong point of the average citizen.
Just look at the typically proposed solution for the corrupting ability of art.
It's an easy process, you see. First, you inform everyone else in the world that their moral code is wrong, and give them the exact right answer--yours. Next, establish the typical child's exact level of idiocy and lack of personal will. Then it's easy to agree on what to censor! While history has shown the fantastic failure rate of this tactic, one day the righteous will win.
C'est ne pas?
A gathering of these good folks, by either circumstance or design, is all that needs to occur for our side to triumph against this ultimately fruitless tactic. Within no time at all they will be arguing morality. Aside from the humor value of such debates, this has proven to be quite effective at disrupting the opposition's progress and unity. Any temporary changes they might manage to affect on the art world just adds to the persecuted artist image, making artwork and artistry even more attractive!
It's truly beautiful. Almost a work of art in and of itself.
One might wonder, then, what I consider to be an effective way to combat the sly ways of the artist. Registration and IDs for artists? Background checks and waiting periods for brushes and cameras? A complete and thorough ban on all artwork in existence? Do I even have a plausible solution?
...
What's wrong with you? I'm part of the conspiracy. I'm only here to mock the feeble in their frustrated and increasingly ineffectual efforts to hold back the swarm as we slowly infest the world with our poison.
Anyhow! Back to the tools of my corruption. Paper, pencil, camera. Pliers, wire. Scissors. Beads.
The beads. The beads.
Shiver in fear, mortal. I am an artist, but one of many. Your world will never be rid of us.
--
*You may substitute "Bible" with any religious scripture or scriptures of your choice. Even with whatever the Church of the SubGeniusâ„¢ uses. Honest.
**Katamari Damacy is a game where you use a large ball--called a katamari--to roll up items in order to restore the stars which your father has irresponsibly misplaced. Some of these "items" include animals, which squeal in distress when rolled up, and once you get the ball large enough, you can even roll up humans! Their shrieks of fear and dismay are set against a background of disorientingly cheerful music, sending mixed messages to your easily confused child. There are a myriad of "rewards" built into the game to encourage you to roll up as many "items" as possible, and there are stages where humans are specific targets! And what do you do with these katamari when you are done rolling? TURN THEM INTO CELESTIAL OBJECTS! Never again will Akiba joyfully ride his bicycle down main street. This game is truly a conception of genius. <p>
<div style="text-align:center">"Pants are bad!!! We should wear pants only on our head you conformist bastard!!! Pants are the devils work!! Run freee!! And pantless!!!" -- Vulture</div>
</p>Edited by: pd Rydia
at: 3/21/05 23:37
</p>
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