How Grandpa Met Grandma

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Nekogami
 
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How Grandpa Met Grandma

Unread postby Nekogami » Sun Jun 06, 2004 12:19 am

Action Romance
Tsung Family


After weeks of blazing heat and a sky empty of hope, the cool rain that fell on Doma was more than welcome. Grandpa sat outside of his home fanning himself with a rice paper fan decorated with a swallow perched on a branch of bamboo. Idly, his left hand stroked Dai-Dai, his giant panda, behind the ears. He eyes didn’t see anything in particular, just gazed through the sheet of rain falling from the eaves.

He didn’t hear the footsteps but Dai-Dai raised his head a bit and a paw fell across his. Grandpa didn’t look away or move. His daughters were both loud and abrasive like jagged rocks across flesh. Whenever they entered a room they were usually yelling about something or at him. His grandsons would not have touched him. They were quiet, though. Many times Cheng-Hao or Sheng Tze would come out and sit with him, silently enjoying his companionship. Only his wife, affectionately known as Grandmother, was both elegantly silent and affectionate.

“Are you going somewhere?” The question wasn’t meant to really be answered. It had become a kind of custom.

“I am.” The answer wasn’t meant to really be an answer. Just a custom, a habit.

“Come back safely.”

The weight of the paw lifted and Grandpa was left with only the memory of the heat of her life now cooling on his paw.




Dei-jun sat near the road alone eating lychee fruit and watching ants hurry over whatever he dropped. From up the road there came the noise of carriage wheels and the cloven hooved drone of large kirin feet. The ants scurried a little at the vibrations but the lure of the sweet fruit made them brave. The wind picked up again causing Dei-jun’s skin to form little bumps but long after the wind died down the chill still covered his skin.
As the carriage drew near, he recognized that the kirin pulling the cart were the cursed dread kirin, beasts corrupted by powerful Tsung magics to become devilish beasts of burden and war. Their coats were mottled with patches of scourge and their eyes constantly cried blood. The horn, which should have been shining gold or silver were corkscrewed white bone. No one but a strong Tsung wizard to could even dare to get near them much less ride them.
The carriage they pulled was made of the strong blood red wood of trees from the southern islands, ornately decorated with gold and black paint. Tassles made from kirin mane hung from the corners of the roof. The wheels were crafted from steel; they gleamed brightly in the afternoon light.
It was the first time in decades that Dei-jun had come this close to another of his clan. Not since had he left home had he so much as laid eyes on a Tsung and that was by no mistake or turn of fate. They Tsung clan elders desired to have him back within the fold of their ranks but he had no desire to return willingly. They sent Liu assassins after him at first but when he had made quick work of them they finally gave up.
The cart was so close he could see that the driver was a bongun, an undead with the eyes and mouth sewn closed. A powerful beast like that a mere servant? Who ever was inside was powerful indeed and probably high ranking in the clan. Dei-jun decided he had seen his fill and dropped the rest of his fruit as he began walking a small path to a farm house.
The path cut through a thick bamboo forest. He could lose them easily in there if he had too but for all they knew he was a rugged Liu or Chen clan dragon . Hardly worth going out of their way for. Still, he felt uneasy in the presence of the carriage. <p>

<div style="text-align:center">
Nekogami Character Pantheon--Deviant Art Gallery--LiveJournal</div>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">Words to live by:
OMG PRIAM: ninja sex would be neither felt nor seen by either partner
OMG PRIAM: each would just suddenly need a smoke
Choark: Good luck there. You'll have to shit out darkness and send people into oblivion.</span></p>

WillBaseton
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Re: How Grandpa Met Grandma

Unread postby WillBaseton » Sun Jun 06, 2004 12:34 am

I don't post much on fics, but I will make note of this one. Although it's only a first segment, the descriptions in it are very, well...descriptive. The imagery used does convey a mental picture of the goings-on, and the continuity doesn't break down anywhere. My only real comment would be that most people don't know what Grandpa/Dei-jun looks like, so perhaps a description of him would be useful. All in all, the beginning segment gives readers a nice look inside of his head, letting us know just a little about his family and the dysfunction therein. Nice work, and I hope you continue. <p>
The closer you get to light, the larger your shadow becomes.

"Sheesh! Everybody's just going and growing wings! So much for being unique!" - Will</p>

SALSAlys
 

Re: How Grandpa Met Grandma

Unread postby SALSAlys » Sun Jun 06, 2004 2:47 am

Such a simple title, yet such a sweet story.

Phil already hit upon how descriptions may be useful, and I'd just like to say that for a few of the other things, like clans of dragons and the Bogun, a bit of background would help for those who aren't familiar with 'em. =P

And also: I think the family ain't dysfunctional. Perfectly happy and normal!



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