by SALSAlys » Wed Oct 22, 2003 11:50 pm
After that surprising announcement, the rest of the dwarvesbegan to sing an impromptu song going somewhat along the lines of 'ding dong, the witch is dead, la la la' while the spokesman grimaced again.
"Oh, shut up," he growled. Theyp aid him no heed whatsoever.
Finally with a sigh, he looked up at Karin, shrugging. "Bloody stupid dwarves. I'm Kadrin, and the only reason I'm with this lot is because I've been exiled from my own clan."
"Why?" asked Totoro.
Kadrin appeared to show no signs of being disturbed by talking to a dog.
"Because they belong to the Wicked Witch of the West, Malachias, and he had a bet going on with Arnast, couldn't pay up, and asked to use dwarves instead of poker chips."
"Right. So now that the witch is dead, what exactly are we supposed to do?" asked Karin.
"Beats me. Where are you from?"
"Well, I'm from Valth. The dog's from the deepest, darkest pits of hell."
"Either way, I supposed you could go talk to the Wizard of Doma. He might be able to help you get back home."
"Hm. We'll try that, then," said Karin. "Thanks for the tip."
"No problem. Oh buggrit, the Witch of the North's coming. Put your shades back on," advised Kadrin before diving and covering his eyes.
Karin did so, while Totoro imitated Kadrin, as a flash of sparkles and light filled the air, and when they opened their eyes again, ar ather tall man with red hair, elfin ears, and wings was standing there. He bowed.
"Greetings! I am Will Baseton, the Good Witch of the North!"
"...I thought witches were supposed to be female?" growled Totoro.
"Much more politically correct to use witches as an unisex term now. After all, why should these positions of magical power be limited to women, after all? Male suffrage, that's the ticket!"
"Oh, shut up," said Karin.
Kadrin appeared to have disappeared, likely in disgust.
"Anyway, you have dropped the house upon Arnast, apparently, so— would you care to knock off Malachias while you're at it?"
"Sorry, nope. Got other things to do."
"But it's the right thing!" spluttered Will. "When given the chance to save a quarter of the world, you just aren't supposed to say 'sorry, got other things to do!'"
"Well, she just said it, so go boil your head," replied Totoro.
"Look, you've even got the obligatory cute fuzzy animal companion!"
"WHo are you calling fuzzy, wingboy?"
"Well, would you like her shoes, at least?"
"They look cool, but aren't really my style."
"I was talking to the woman, not you, twit."
Karin glanced down at the boots. "Right, they look cool, but I like my own too."
"Well, the boots are objects of power, and if you're wearinf them when you go to the Wizard of Doma, he may look upon you more favorably."
"Wait a minute, how do you know we were advised to go there? You weren't here when it happened," Totoro said suspiciously.
Will appeared to have trouble answering that, and Kadrin popped up momentarily again, and hissed into Totoro's ear "Massive godmodey BS power" before disappearing.
"What is the wizard? Some kind of shoe fetishist?" Karin asked warily.
"Oh, no, not at all. Look, just put on these boots— stop struggling, dammit! PUT ON THE BOOTS!"
"No, you bleeping BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP! Why the bleep can't I bleeping swear?!" shouted Karin, who was trying to kick Will, who had grabbed one of her legs and was in the middle of shoving them into one of the dead witch's boots (removed from the witch, of course).
"Because swearing is unladylike and in my presence, you will not do so!" panted Will, beginning to do the buckles up.
Totoro bit him on the bum.
However, such action was too late; Karin was now shod.
"Pervert boot-fancier..." she muttered, reaching down to undo the buckles.
However, she couldn't. They appeared to be stuck.
"Ha. Can't take THAT off until you go to the Wizard of Doma and get him to undo it. So nyeah," taunted Will, giving them both a raspberry while rubbing the part of him that had been afflicted by Totor's teeth.
"We've been railroaded," complained Totoro, in the midst of gagging.
"Maybe. Now toodles!" announced Will, vanishing in another flare of light and sparkles.
"Right. Now how do we get to the bleeping wizard?" muttered Karin. "Oh, wait, silly me; there's a big sign on this yellow brick road that says 'Wizard This Way'. I'll get some provisions."