Speech from the throne

For artistic creations in text format.

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KingOfDoma
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Speech from the throne

Unread postby KingOfDoma » Mon Nov 03, 2003 1:54 pm

*fanfare*

Herald: Citizens of Doma, I present to you the ruler of all Doma, King Charles Robert Franklyn Galzern Domanada!

*Charles emerges*

My people! Doma is free! *cheering*

No longer need you fear the shadow of Malachias. He is vanquished! *holds up blades made from the horns of Malachias, then slams them down on the railing of the balcony* Now, what needs to be told to you, my people, is why and how. Why this nation? How did such a thing occur? The why, my friends, is because Doma was and will be again the most glittering jewel in the Igalan crown. The how is, however, more difficult to say. The how is the fact that Malachias used deceit and treachery to manipulate various castle personnel, most notably and regrettably myself. The power I wield was the very thing that brought about Doma's downfall. And I say, never again.

As we speak, a new document is being written. It will ensure the rights and freedoms that were stolen from you by Malachias, and will keep the power of the throne from being abused again. This document is a constitution, and with it I institute a new council of Keepers that I will share my power with. they will keep me in check, and I them. Each Keeper will govern over a portion of the land called a protectorate, maintaining law, dealing with local concerns, and communicating larger problems to me. They will keep you safe, keep you fed, and keep you wise.

Also, this constitution will establish reliable modes of foreign contact with nations such as Baron, Nekonia, Barius, Inustan, Riva, and others with a council of Relayers that will communicate with the governments of this continent far more effectively. Finally, this constitution will guarantee the ability of all eligible Domans (22+ adults, non-gender or species specific - Ed.) to vote for their Keeper.

Doma has paid a steep cost for freedom. Let this ensure that that cost need never be paid again!

To Doma! *raises the daggers again and exits* <p>--------------------
"Spock, the women on your planet are logical. It's the only planet that can make that claim." -Captain Kirk, "Elaan of Troyius"

"Oh boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a viking!" - Ralph Wiggum

"I will try your burned, replicated birdmeat." -Commander Kurn</p>Edited by: [url=http://pub30.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=kingofdoma>KingOfDoma</A] at: 11/3/03 3:11 pm

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pd Rydia
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:{

Unread postby pd Rydia » Mon Nov 03, 2003 2:14 pm

Fix your line breaks, you bloody fool.

[edit] Good man.

The substance is fine, if a bit short. My main qualm is the fact that this is in the writings forum, but not in story form. Those little asterix-actions should never be seen in any serious writing. I'd rewrite it just a bit, it wouldn't require much, so that the dialogue and actions are properly written story-style. <p>
-=- "Spammers are people too." -- SuperRube
-=- "And then the pixies of doom ate her brain. It was very tragic." -- White Knight
-=- "If it smells like a discussion, walks like a discussion, and talks like a discussion.. it's a.. duck" -- Crawling Reshiki<p><center>Image</center></p>Edited by: pd Rydia&nbsp; Image at: 11/3/03 6:24 pm

Banjooie
 
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Re: :{

Unread postby Banjooie » Mon Nov 03, 2003 6:32 pm

Aww, they rebuilt Doma Castle already? <p><Chat> <Matto says, "What's up?"
<Chat> <Prince_Herb says, "Angst."
<Chat> <Prince_Herb says, "Drama."
<Chat> <Prince_Herb says, "Betrayal."
<Chat> <Prince_Herb says, "Plushies."</p>

Uncle Pervy
 

Re: :{

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Mon Nov 03, 2003 11:06 pm

I must Mirror what Sis says.

*Sage nod* <p>------------------
Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.
</p>


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