Missing Children (working title)

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pd Rydia
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Missing Children (working title)

Unread postby pd Rydia » Mon Jun 02, 2003 8:13 pm

There was nothing I hated more than cases of missing children.

Hnrh -- I mean, hi. My name is Nikao. I'm an officer -- a former officer of the Kitiwai Royal Guard. Been retired some years now. Ten or so...I lost track...

Yeah, like I said, there was nothing I hated more than cases of missing children. But I was young and naive then. I had a limited number of cases under my belt, yet thought my work had brought me to know the world. There was a certain way things worked...and I thought I knew it.

I jumped on the case of Mete and Ren. Two little children, twins, that went missing from a little town in the suburbs of Nekonia's capital. I wanted to be the one to find those kids. Nothing was more important to me right then than to bring those kids home.

First things first, right? I even knew that back then. I talked to their caretaker --a single father-- to try to get some leads. I still remember the interview to this day.

The weather was sunny and bright, which contrasted sharply with the run down little shack Kourana-san called his home. I remember thinking, as I walked in, that this was no place for two little kids to grow up. Kourana-san and I exchanged formalities, before he led me into the shack. We had a seat at his kitchen table.

It must be hard to raise two children on your own, I had said. Kourana-san grunted and responded that he did as well as circumstances allowed. When did your children disappear, Kourana-san? Two weeks ago, when they were out playing.

He wasn't much friendlier for the rest of the interview -- nor was he very useful. He had no real insights on where his children might be...eventually I had gathered as much information as was to be had, and made my closing politeness before leaving. It occurred to me as I was exiting that, what with how charming the father seemed to be, the children might have packed off on their own accord.

I left that shack with nothing more than some information about the kids' other relatives. Well, at least I had something to go on, I thought. Unfortunately, investigating the other kids' relations wasn't much more useful than the original interview with the father. I assigned a subordinate to keep an eye on them, while I tried thumping around the city for news. No luck.

I was going through all the right motions, but I was getting nowhere. I grew more and more frustrated at my lack of success. That's when the news came to me.

Another child had gone missing. <p>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">-=- "YOU SEE THE MIGHTY DAMARAMU'S BRAIN IS VERY COMPACT!" -- Damaramu
-=- "Don't worry Mink, I'll be good excess baggage!" -- Pia
-=- "But I'm a slime half!" -- Princess Vena
-=- "OH BY THE SEVEN GODS IT'S A MECHANICAL BIRD! But it's so...small..." -- announcer guy
-=- "Demons don't care about story continuity!" -- Doug Finn</span></p>Edited by: pd Rydia&nbsp; Image at: 6/2/03 8:21:24 pm

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Re: Missing Children (working title)

Unread postby pd Rydia » Mon Jun 02, 2003 8:38 pm

Great, just great, I thought. Hoping against hope that the two cases weren't related, I went to investigate the new situation.

This family was in a completely different situation from Kourana-san. They lived in a nice, big, upscale home, with tall ceilings, nice furniture, and hired maids. Pff..surburbinites. Foreigners, at that; usagijin, no less. Don't run into too many of those in Nekonia.

The Sieme family was positively distraught -- I spent as much time calming the mother down as I did interviewing. It didn't help that they spoke Common only brokenly. To my frustration, I got not a lot of good information out of them, either...except one thing.

Their child had disappeared while playing, too.

Now, it was weeks after the Kourana-san incident, but...I had to ask.

So I did. Did your child know the Kourana-san twins?

Twins? They looked surprised. They often saw their child playing with some twins...

Mete and Ren Kourana ring a bell? I asked, a knot forming in my stomach.

Well...no, they didn't really know their names. But they hadn't shown up to play for the last few weeks...

I nodded, feeling grim. I thanked Sieme parents and made my way out of their home.

It occurred to me as I was leaving that something felt wrong about the interview. Maybe it was the hole punched in the wall I noted as I was making my. It seemed to be...rather out of place. It was a discordant flaw within the crisp, clean Sieme home.

I didn't brood on this too long, however. I was more caught up in the obvious relatedness between my two cases. I filed my findings with the office and tried, once more, to dredge up new clues. Again, I had no damn luck.

No damn luck. <p>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">-=- "YOU SEE THE MIGHTY DAMARAMU'S BRAIN IS VERY COMPACT!" -- Damaramu
-=- "Don't worry Mink, I'll be good excess baggage!" -- Pia
-=- "But I'm a slime half!" -- Princess Vena
-=- "OH BY THE SEVEN GODS IT'S A MECHANICAL BIRD! But it's so...small..." -- announcer guy
-=- "Demons don't care about story continuity!" -- Doug Finn</span></p>Edited by: pd Rydia&nbsp; Image at: 6/2/03 8:50:14 pm

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Re: Missing Children (working title)

Unread postby pd Rydia » Mon Jun 02, 2003 8:59 pm

I had no flipping choice but to sit on the cases, however. Once again, I had run into a glass wall in my investigation. I bet you can guess that my nerves didn't take it well when the third case arose.

A fourth child had gone missing.

By now, I was pretty damn upset myself. There were four children missing in my area, and I had no idea where they were. There was very possibly a kidnapper in my beat, and he was off running free. For all I knew, the bodies would wash up in a lake somewhere -- and I'd be responsible for having not caught the culprit to prevent it.

Work was tense. I was tense. If someone looked at me crooked, I was liable to go off on them. I was a little bit of a loose cannon, I guess you could say.

As you could guess, after going through the same routine with the Saike family, I was a little...wound up. So I stopped at a bar on the way home from work, and drank more sake than any nekojin has a right to. I guess that, along with my desperation, is why I went to the diviner.

A diviner! I would have never believed in something like that back then...but I did. Spirits do strange things to a man. But, as I said...I was desperate. I wanted to find these children...and the one responsible for their disappearance. And right now, I had no hope...

I stumbled into some shady crack-shop establishment and wound up sitting across from some old nekonian woman with too many earrings and yellow teeth. I didn't notice. I told her I wanted to find the missing kids.

She nodded as if she knew already...well, that was no surprise, it was all over the news by now. She did some ridiculous ohm-ing and ahm-ing, waved her hands over some glass ball, and peered into it intensely. She then turned her greying face to me. Man, those black eyes had a creepy stare...at least while you're drunk. <p>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">-=- "YOU SEE THE MIGHTY DAMARAMU'S BRAIN IS VERY COMPACT!" -- Damaramu
-=- "Don't worry Mink, I'll be good excess baggage!" -- Pia
-=- "But I'm a slime half!" -- Princess Vena
-=- "OH BY THE SEVEN GODS IT'S A MECHANICAL BIRD! But it's so...small..." -- announcer guy
-=- "Demons don't care about story continuity!" -- Doug Finn</span></p>

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Re: Missing Children (working title)

Unread postby pd Rydia » Mon Jun 02, 2003 9:06 pm

She said one thing, and one thing only.

Check the forest to the east.

Well, I stumbled home somehow, and woke up the next day with a horrible hangover. I called off work for the day because of it. After puking my guts out in the privacy of my own home, I decided I might as well do something constructive and check the forest out east. I mean, there was no way that old hag could be right...but I had nothing else to go on, now did I?

It took me about half an hour by griffy, but I made it there. I left the griffy tied up outside, with some slack on the line so he could graze the trees and shrubbery for lunch. The forest itself was quiet and still, and as I walked deeper inside, dark. So used to the hustle and bustle of the city, I was a little unnerved.

Suddenly, I caught a whiff of a smell! It triggered a memory in my mind, but that memory danced just out of my mind's grasp...I thought hard to recall it, but all I got was a flash of Kourana-san's shanty...

Then, I heard rustling as something began running. Without thinking, I ran, I raced in the direction I heard the noise. My feet pounded against the ground and my nostrils flared to catch a scent. And I got it, sure enough.

I'll never forget what I found. <p>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">-=- "YOU SEE THE MIGHTY DAMARAMU'S BRAIN IS VERY COMPACT!" -- Damaramu
-=- "Don't worry Mink, I'll be good excess baggage!" -- Pia
-=- "But I'm a slime half!" -- Princess Vena
-=- "OH BY THE SEVEN GODS IT'S A MECHANICAL BIRD! But it's so...small..." -- announcer guy
-=- "Demons don't care about story continuity!" -- Doug Finn</span></p>

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Re: Missing Children (working title)

Unread postby pd Rydia » Mon Jun 02, 2003 9:20 pm

I skidded to a halt, in a small clearing outside this cave. There, staring at me in wide-eyed fear, were four children...three nekojin and an usagijin. Two of the nekojin, obviously twins, looked thin and malnourished; the usagijin kid had a shifty, nervous look to his eyes, and the remaining nekojin was the littlest of the bunch, and looked like he'd recently been in a fight.

I stood there dumbfounded for...I don't know how long. I stared at them, and they stared at me. Finally, I came to my senses, and whirled about. Where's the kidnapper, I asked!

One of the twins stepped forward. Ren. There is no kidnapper, he said, with all the bravery he could muster.

I stared at him blankly, before my face grew dark. Runaways, huh?

Yes! The injured nekojin piped up, glaring at me defiantly. Of course we are...do you know what home was like?

Dad's a drunkard, Mete said. He gets money from the government to feed us, and spends it on booze. Ren and I do better out here, where we can hunt out our own food.

There's too much screaming and yelling in my house, the usagijin --Mable-- declared shortly. And throwing...I'm tired of having things thrown at my head. I'm more tired of them connecting.

I'm tired of getting beat, the little kid Lapi said. Ren and Mete take care of me here.

I was surprised. So surprised, I just sat down and talked to the kids.

Mete and Ren apparently had learned how to hunt and scavenge, to live on their own in this forest, years ago. Because of what their father did. They learned about the home situations of their friends, Mable and Lapi...and, well...after a two week trial of living off the land...

Ren was the apparent ring leader. He stared at me darkly, little hand clenched in a fist at his side. You're going to make us go home, aren't you, he asked. Stated more than asked.

Mable scowled at me...Mete yelped, and Lapi looked terrified. I looked from one kid's face to another, and then...

I stood up, stretched, and walked away in silence.

Hey, HEY! Ren yelled after me. You better not tell anyone! We're better off here, you know! Don't tell anyone!

Please, Mete begged...Lapi was crying, and Mable was trying to calm him down.

I looked back...and nodded to Ren. I don't...know who you kids are, I said simply.

Ren stared.

I smiled.

Goodbye. And goodluck, I said. <p>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">-=- "YOU SEE THE MIGHTY DAMARAMU'S BRAIN IS VERY COMPACT!" -- Damaramu
-=- "Don't worry Mink, I'll be good excess baggage!" -- Pia
-=- "But I'm a slime half!" -- Princess Vena
-=- "OH BY THE SEVEN GODS IT'S A MECHANICAL BIRD! But it's so...small..." -- announcer guy
-=- "Demons don't care about story continuity!" -- Doug Finn</span></p>

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Re: Missing Children (working title)

Unread postby pd Rydia » Mon Jun 02, 2003 9:26 pm

I wonder to this day. About those kids...about their families...about that diviner. About the choice I made. Was I right? When I think about how those families must have felt, I begin to feel bad, but...then I think about those kids...

Maybe I was too influenced by those silly kids' books I grew up reading. You know the type...kids wind up roughing it, living it on their own, because of whatever...the kind of situation every kid wants to have, just a little...

Or a lot, depending on your home life.

Once upon a time, there was nothing I hated more than cases of missing children. <p>
<span style="font-size:xx-small;">-=- "YOU SEE THE MIGHTY DAMARAMU'S BRAIN IS VERY COMPACT!" -- Damaramu
-=- "Don't worry Mink, I'll be good excess baggage!" -- Pia
-=- "But I'm a slime half!" -- Princess Vena
-=- "OH BY THE SEVEN GODS IT'S A MECHANICAL BIRD! But it's so...small..." -- announcer guy
-=- "Demons don't care about story continuity!" -- Doug Finn</span></p>

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Re: Missing Children (working title)

Unread postby Jak Snide » Tue Jun 03, 2003 10:18 am

Well, someone got in a ficcy mood last night. =P

However, I have to say I did enjoy that a good deal. Easy to read (breaking it up into multiple posts further enhanced that aspect), no grammar or spelling mistakes to my knowledge and an entertaining story. Good stuff overall.


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Re: Missing Children (working title)

Unread postby Uncle Pervy » Fri Jun 06, 2003 11:25 pm

Hmmm, two things that need worked on, I think.

One is the Diviner. I hate magic being used like that, to just poof a hint outta nowhere.Why not have her overhear something from a friendly hobo?

The other, lesser thing is that she seems to let the kids go a bit too easily. Perhaps she should talk to them a bit, try to convince them to go home before.

Aside from this, the story is good. Flow is nice, no grammatical errors that yelled at me. Once those two issue get a bit of treatment, this shall be quite worthwhile. <p><div style="text-align:center">Image Image Image Image Image ImageImage</div></p>


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