Hi, I know this is pretty selfish of me, but I'm under the influence of a energy vampire.
As some of you may nor may not know, I was absent for a long time; while some of the reasons were obvious, a few weren't and this is one of them.
A long, long time ago I "befriended" another forum-frequenter. I didn't really care much about him aside from being another anonymous face to 'HAK PIE' with and such. However, it became painfully obvious that it was a bad mistake, every time I logged onto AIM, this person would assault me, constantly writing how much he thought about me when I was gone, how much he missed me.
For a while, it was kind of fun, I admit that I shamelessly milked it for all it was worth, it's always nice to get a morale-boost, but soon enough I began to dread having to face the same pleas for roleplaying, hanging around,
being with him. Thankfully, I didn't have to put much effort into school back then, so I got away with good grades while wasting hours roleplaying with this person. Close to every day.
Finally, though, with everything my life was going through, I decided enough was enough. I'm a bleedy person, hard as it may be to believe, so I decided that instead of just singling out those people I didn't want to be with anymore, I went for a complete shut-out, I cut off all my connections.
And kept it so for almost two years. I couldn't be without some of you people though, and once that my life cooled down a bit I went back online.
And fell into the same trap again. Now this person knows my MSN account, which has led me to block him ('though I actually think he has some way to see if I'm online anyway, he makes passing remarks that seem innocent enough, but I know for a fact that he was able to see whenever I shut down the window I was talking with him in before), dread going in on AIM and just forced me to back into the last safe place I have, this place. Hell, considering how he's just 'stumbled into me' before, he's probably got his eyes on this place as well.
This guy is, if I even remember correctly, pushing thirty, living with his mom and hating his life. I feel sorry for him, but I don't want to be there to comfort him. >_< I'm completely unable to make him realize this, I even wrought something similar a while back that just made him whine about how he'd change, which he of course hasn't. He constantly tells me that "it's okay if you don't want to talk or anything, no pressure, really, I'm just glad you're online.
I'm so happy we're together again.
Please, what am I going to do? I can't deal with these people, I can't say no and I've never been able to deal with this online. Offline I have no problem being a jerk (this is true), but it really hurt me when he started writing letters about how angry and sad he was that I was going away; "accusing" me (though he never said that out loud, always hiding it in grovelling) of hating him and being cold and cruel for just dropping out of his life.
What life? I've seen a photo of him that I don't even know if it's real and he's on the other side of the planet! I've never expressed interest in his life and I'm trying to be as polite about it as my swedish upbringing can muster!
...It's actually gone so far that I've started pretending I'm talking to him in the shower, just to vent in some kind of way... If that's not creepy I dont' know what is.