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Love is the greatest pile of suck to exist. All it apparently causes in the end is pain, suffering, regret, and despair. I hate it. As much as I hate David Moo.
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I think if you wanna know what love is, you should ask your mother.
...after all, I showed her what it was all about last night. ;D
The lovers' bond is such a powerful thing that finding love is like finding a part of yourself that was missing. Doing something, anything for the one you love, be it a great sacrifice or a simple gift of affection, is no difficulty at all. Making them happy brings you such joy that it is almost as if you have done something for yourself. Contrary to this, to bring sorrow to the one you love is inflict it upon yourself, and, infact, oftentimes the party that is at fault ends up feeling worse than the "victim." It is almost like a higher plane of existance, in that in that before you find it you simply lack the capacity to understand it, and that after you have found it, leaving it is incredibly difficult, and reentering the world that was once all you knew seems more than a bit mundane.Quote:
But when you have truly found someone that you love more than anyone else, the cost to yourself no longer seems to matter when it is for their sake. Nothing, not money, not time, not even your own life, is more valuable than the bond that you have with that other person. You become willing to do anything for them, give anything for them, because they are as much a part of you as your very skin, and sacrifices are not sacrifices at all. When you value another person as much as you value yourself, or perhaps more than you value yourself, that is when you know you love them.
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If you know you are in love when you care for another more than you care for yourself, who is to say for those who have some devotion, but low self-esteem? Those who would victimize themselves so that another may gain--that's not love, I don't think. And if it is, it's some sort of perversion on the idea.
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The point of this post is to say that there is quite a huge, large difference between love and slaivsh codependence.
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Part of a good/loving relationship is being able to compromise with your partner. The tricky part of that is 'compromising' the right amount, based on the issues involved and what your personality is like. It's true that being too 'generous' is a big opening for abuse, but with a little caution about finding someone with similar selflessness, who'd be abusing who... if anyone?
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Or maybe I'm just trying to come up with some excuse for being such a fantastic wuss. Still, 'codependence' within reasonable limits, based on what kind of person you are, seems to actually be a positive thing, to me.
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