The style's kinda stuffy and beuraucratic-like; doesn't really make for a pleasant read. 'Course, anthropology being all scientific and whatnot, that's probably the audience you're writing for. But, I guess I could offer some ways to color it up.
Now, for a bunch of critiques from some naive punk taking a composition class.
-You've got a few contractions here and there, kind of betraying the overall style of the piece. It's stuffy, yes, but to keep consistency, write out the entire set.
-Sentences beginning with "There is/are," "It is." Subject-less clauses. But, considering the audience, I guess a few here and there would be fine. Just irks me, that's all.
-Repetition of some words. Especially proper nouns. I know there aren't many synonyms for "cyborg" or "cyberpunk," but, in either case, repetition just leaves a funny taste in the mouth.
-Lotsa 'This's starting sentences. Gotta vary up those sentences.
-Page 4, paragraph 2, 1st sentence. Is 'contruct' a word? Just curious.
-Pg.4 Para2 2nd sentence. I think you can possibly merge this with the previous sentence.
-Pg.4 Para2, s 4, 5, 6 . You could combine these guys with a colon after sentence 4 and a bit of compression on the subsequent ones.
-Pg. 6, para3 & Pg. 7 para1: Lotsa 'He's starting the sentences. Again, sentence variation.
-I'll add more later.
If I were you, I would've gone bat-shit insane and have some fun with a topic like that. 'Course, I've yet to see a college class, nor do I know much about your professor.
If this were an essay, I would've liked to have seen more editorial when you were outlining Ghost and Chobits. Essays are all about opinion, after all. Now, if it's a research paper, which I expect it to be with all the citing, the style you've got going is pretty appropriate. But, you can still color up your writing without sacrificing objectivity.
I just don't like reading research papers that much; doubt anyone does. <p>
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Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=redeyedragon89@rpgww60462>RedEye] at: 12/15/05 3:08