A CHALLENGE

[LadyDragonClawsEDW]

I am bored and thus wish to amuse and traumatize myself by reading really crappy fanficts. Your challenge is to find the crappiest fanfict out there and link to it for my viewing displeasure! There are, however, rules.

1. If the fic is a lemon, please say so on the link!

2. No Gonterman, Link's Queen, or Dark Kefka. I've already read that crap. If you haven't read their stuff, please don't unless you like racism, sex scenes with gratuitous references to tigers, and godmoder evil Sonic doing Mobius, respectively.

3. Nothing off off http://www.reallybadfanfiction.net either. I've already read all of that.

Additionally, there will be bonuses for certain stuff!
1. Any Resident Evil or Final Fantasy fanficts written by "PJ". His stuff is apparently a trainwreck and I want to look at it.
2. Written fairly recently.
3. Caused a massive flamewar with the author and everyone else in the rest of the fandom of whatever the fic was written about.
4. Involves Earthbound, Sonic the Hedgehog, Psychonauts, Mario, the Slayers, any Disney production, Dragonballs Z, Final Fantasy 7, Teletubbies, Pokemon, or any combination thereof.
5. Was written by ShadowDragon.

Stuff written by people on this board will also be considered, but will probably get lower scores since I like you people and it's likely it was written expressly for the purpose of this challenge.

SO GO FORTH! ENTERTAIN AND DISGUST ME, MORTALS! <p>--------------------

"If I have to grab a man's ass, you can smile." -Tolaris</p>

[Evil Killer Poptarts]

Have you ever read any bad Transformers fanfic? If not, here are some terrible examples of bad fanfic from the Transformers mythos. Lemon and a HALF. <p><div style="text-align:center"></div></p>Edited by: Evil Killer Poptarts at: 2/18/06 20:35

[Spleen]

Pong Lemon. Need I say more? <p>-_-___-___-___-_-

"The universe is all in the mind that perceives it, and sensation is the first and only reality. If a tree falls in the forest with no creature to hear it, then there is no tree."
-Dungeons and Dragons: Complete Arcane, page 167

Arch mage144: Spleen doesn't bother with penis size contests; instead, he goes straight to penis number.</p>

[ikozaedro]

saw this one linked on another forum, can't say i went thru it, but,Goku/Anne Frank fanfiction should be bad enough for this. <p><div style="text-align:center"> <span style="color:fuchsia;font-family:comic sans ms;font-size:large;">LAMBO SWIMS LIKE A BRICK!!</span>

my deviant art thingy!
quote:
"Angels sung out, an immaculate chorus, down form the heaven descended Chuck Norris"
- Lemon Demon, "the ultimate showdon of ultimate destiny"</div>
</p>

[Zemyla]

The Day of Insanity
Yuffie and the Gerudo Thieves
AVALANCE vs Sailor Moon
Nightmare at Gold Saucer 3

I hope that's painful enough for you. <p>-----
Do not taunt Happy Fun Zemyla.

<span style="font-size:xx-small;">I think boobs are the lesser of two evils. - Inverse (Pervy)
Dammit, Dan, I'm not dating a damn NPC! - OOC Will (Will Baseton)
Of course! Anything worth doing is worth doing completely wrong! - Travis English
Ultimately, wizards and clerics don't say, "Gee, I want to become a lich because weapons hurt less and I don't have to worry about being backstabbed; that whole 'eternal life' thing is just a fringe benefit."-Darklion
But this one time I killed a walrus with my bare hands, and I suddenly understood spherical coordinates. - KnightsofSquare
Also, when you've worked a 36-hour shift as an intern you too just might pour yourself a catful of coffee and sit down to cuddle with your travel mug. -eirehound
</span>

Adventurers! | RPG World World | The Phantom Lord's OT Board mkII | Indie Madnesse | Brotherhood of Elitist Bastards</p>

[LadyDragonClawsEDW]

ADDENDUM TO THE RULES:

Avoid posting fics that are in 'chat format' because those are just retarded. I want a story, not an AIM conversation! <p>--------------------

"If I have to grab a man's ass, you can smile." -Tolaris</p>

[Capntastic]

Zem is in the lead I think, so far, (I haven't clicked the links), simply because his look to be ones that were written seriously, as opposed to be "HEY LOOK I WROTE A PURPOSEFULLY BAD HENTAI FIC!"

[Evil Killer Poptarts]

The authors at the archive I listed honestly think their stories are the best EVER and if you say otherwise, they will flip out. It's really entertaining.

For a while, two were trolling one of the Transformers livejournal communities I hang out at and asking for links to "good erotica." The second linked that archive, someone else said "Psh, that stuff is TERRIBLE," and the two trolls proceeded to freak, going off on how we were disrespecting them and their friends and their moms and their dogs and how they were going to go to Livejournal and get us shut down and then we would be SO SORRY. Waah.

Trolls can be fun... what were we talking about, again? <p><div style="text-align:center"></div></p>

[Endesu]

I want to know how badly my fic, in particular, stood out.

You know, that really bad one with Manta.

Do I need to send it again? <p><hr />
<div style="text-align:center">"I've come to care about you. A lot. And also not in that way. Well, yeah, in that way a little. Half and Half."
"He's rectangley. That's how you'll know him. By his rectangularness."
"A head your size would burst like an infected kidney... and all I'd remember was how warm the juices were that lapped the back of my uvula on their trip down to stomach land."</div></p>

[LadyDragonClawsEDW]

That one would rank at the top because it was a lemon with my characters in it.

HOWEVER

I have already read it so it wouldn't count for this contest. :o <p>--------------------

"If I have to grab a man's ass, you can smile." -Tolaris</p>

[Endesu]

Dang. :(

Maybe I need to go write a sequel. <p><hr />
<div style="text-align:center">"I've come to care about you. A lot. And also not in that way. Well, yeah, in that way a little. Half and Half."
"He's rectangley. That's how you'll know him. By his rectangularness."
"A head your size would burst like an infected kidney... and all I'd remember was how warm the juices were that lapped the back of my uvula on their trip down to stomach land."</div></p>

[LadyDragonClawsEDW]

YAY SEQUEL <p>--------------------

"If I have to grab a man's ass, you can smile." -Tolaris</p>

[Endesu]

I've already begun work on it. SUFFICE TO SAY THAT IT IS RATED FOR ONLY MATURE PEOPLE AND INVOLVES RP SPOILERS

which you people totally can't know unless you give me five dollars.

Edit: Oh, yeah, Kate? Could you e-mail me? endaso@gmail.com
I need to ask you some stuff. <p><hr />
<div style="text-align:center">"I've come to care about you. A lot. And also not in that way. Well, yeah, in that way a little. Half and Half."
"He's rectangley. That's how you'll know him. By his rectangularness."
"A head your size would burst like an infected kidney... and all I'd remember was how warm the juices were that lapped the back of my uvula on their trip down to stomach land."</div></p>Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=crawlingreshiki>Crawling] at: 2/21/06 17:37

[E Mouse]

I'm betting these questions are along the lines of 'Just how big are %n's genitals?' <p><hr />

<span style="font-size:xx-small;">"Their rhetoric... You didn't put communists in his bed did you!" came Amber's indignant reply.

"Why not? All I had to do was open a gate to his bed and stick up a sign saying 'Hot virgin willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in the name of international socialist fraternity.'"</span>

<span style="color:blue;font-size:xx-small;">Excaliburned:</span> <span style="font-size:xx-small;">Ah yes, I'm thinking of having the USS Bob be preserved outside the Arena as a monument of sorts</span></p>

[FF Fanatic 80]

Or in what context he needs to use the word 'destruction' =[

[Zemyla]

E needs to learn to use printf properly. %n prints an integer. <p>-----
Do not taunt Happy Fun Zemyla.

<span style="font-size:xx-small;">I think boobs are the lesser of two evils. - Inverse (Pervy)
Dammit, Dan, I'm not dating a damn NPC! - OOC Will (Will Baseton)
Of course! Anything worth doing is worth doing completely wrong! - Travis English
Ultimately, wizards and clerics don't say, "Gee, I want to become a lich because weapons hurt less and I don't have to worry about being backstabbed; that whole 'eternal life' thing is just a fringe benefit."-Darklion
But this one time I killed a walrus with my bare hands, and I suddenly understood spherical coordinates. - KnightsofSquare
Also, when you've worked a 36-hour shift as an intern you too just might pour yourself a catful of coffee and sit down to cuddle with your travel mug. -eirehound
</span>

Adventurers! | RPG World World | The Phantom Lord's OT Board mkII | Indie Madnesse | Brotherhood of Elitist Bastards</p>

[E Mouse]

Screw you, that was manged RPG Maker syntax. <p><hr />

<span style="font-size:xx-small;">"Their rhetoric... You didn't put communists in his bed did you!" came Amber's indignant reply.

"Why not? All I had to do was open a gate to his bed and stick up a sign saying 'Hot virgin willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in the name of international socialist fraternity.'"</span>

<span style="color:blue;font-size:xx-small;">Excaliburned:</span> <span style="font-size:xx-small;">Ah yes, I'm thinking of having the USS Bob be preserved outside the Arena as a monument of sorts</span></p>