RPGWW

by **Battle Accountant** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 9:07 am

You become said celebrated movie star, but one day, at your house, you go to the bathroom to take a leak. You begin to assume the position and lift the lid when, somehow, a paparazzo positioned himself in your toilet with his head sticking out, and using his ginormous camera and flash, captures a very clear picture of your wang. The overcharged flash also gives your peter a nice little surface burn.

I wish work could be cancelled today.

by **PriamNevhausten** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 10:15 am

You are fired!

I wish for all the children in the world to join hands and sing, and then give me a Coca-cola. <p><span style="font-size:xx-small;">"It's in the air, in the headlines in the newspapers, in the blurry images on television. It is a secret you have yet to grasp, although the first syllable has been spoken in a dream you cannot quite recall." --Unknown Armies</span></p>

by **Spleen** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:11 pm

Most children have such horrendous voices that the sound of a billion of them singing at the same time is enough to make you want to kill yourself.

Also, the Coke rots your teeth and you need extremely painful dental surgery.

I wish I was impervious to pain, damage, disease, extreme temperature, becoming unintentionally immobile, parasites, and radiation. <p>-_-___-___-___-_-

"There are four types of men: one who says what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours - he is a neutral person. One who says what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine is a fool. One who says what's mine is yours and what's yours is yours is righteous. One who says what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine is evil."
-Talmud, Avot 5:13

Arch mage144: Spleen doesn't bother with penis size contests; instead, he goes straight to penis number.</p>

by **Choark** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:39 pm

You become an immortal and can never die. This basically means after 10,000 years of complete isolation after outliving everything, including the planet, you go completely mad. After another 100,000 billion years of floating in empty space you can't recal anything other then nothingness and you just float there, with your own empty thoughts, for eternity, never ending.

<span style="color:blue;">I wish I could summon and control daemons.</span> <p><div style="text-align:center"> </div>
<div style="text-align:center">

</div>
<div style="text-align:center"> </div></p>Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=choark>Choark</A] 

at: 11/30/06 18:40

by **Ganonfro** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:50 pm

All the people in the world named Daemon are summoned to your side, but since they aren't demons, they don't do much of anything but eat your food since you can't unsummon them.

I wish Eisenhower were on the dime instead of FDR.

by **Idran1701** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 10:58 pm

Hordes of Ike-obsessed WWII vets keep all the dimes for themselves, ushering in a collapse of the national economy.

I wish that this wish had an unintended negative consequence. :O <p><hr />
"Never let your morals get in the way of doing what is right" - Salvor Hardin
</p>

by **Spleen** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 11:08 pm

You get your unintended negative consequence, and realize after reading it that it could have been more original, and kind of feel gypped.

I wish I had a magic word I could say to make anyone who hears it like me more. <p>-_-___-___-___-_-

"There are four types of men: one who says what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours - he is a neutral person. One who says what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine is a fool. One who says what's mine is yours and what's yours is yours is righteous. One who says what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine is evil."
-Talmud, Avot 5:13

Arch mage144: Spleen doesn't bother with penis size contests; instead, he goes straight to penis number.</p>

by **ikozaedro** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 11:44 pm

You got your magic word, however, it is so hard to pronounce that actually managing to do so would make your brain EXPLODE.
anyway, it only made people like you a meaningless amount more, an enemy would still hate you, just a little less.

i wish i was an incredibly able artist. <p><div style="text-align:center">

my deviant art thingy!
quote:
"Are you dense? are you a retard? i am the goddamned batman!"-Batman</div>
</p>

by **Besyanteo** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 11:52 pm

You are a wonderous artist, with skill and inspiration that know no match. However, you are soon swamped by your friends who, fawning over your art, flood you with commisions that you just can't say no to. Before long your work becomes a chore, and you loathe your creations. You die sad and alone, because people only liked you for your art anyway.

I wish for a ponycar. Can I have one? Please? Please please please please? <p><hr /><div style="text-align:center">

</div></p>

by **Spleen** » Thu Nov 30, 2006 11:56 pm

You get your ponycar. Unfortunately, the lack of gasolinoats to feed/fuel it means you'll never be able to ride it.

I wish I could punch people through the internet. <p>-_-___-___-___-_-

"There are four types of men: one who says what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours - he is a neutral person. One who says what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine is a fool. One who says what's mine is yours and what's yours is yours is righteous. One who says what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine is evil."
-Talmud, Avot 5:13

Arch mage144: Spleen doesn't bother with penis size contests; instead, he goes straight to penis number.</p>

by **ikozaedro** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 12:08 am

BAMF! you can now, however, they can punch back....harder...and faster.

i wish i had an older sister, cuz i have lots of brother mental issues. <p><div style="text-align:center">

my deviant art thingy!
quote:
"Are you dense? are you a retard? i am the goddamned batman!"-Batman</div>
</p>

by **Spleen** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 12:55 am

You get an older sister; I have three, so trust me when I say that that in itself is a bad ending worthy of this thread.

I wish the next person who posts to this thread would give me a dollar. <p>-_-___-___-___-_-

"There are four types of men: one who says what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours - he is a neutral person. One who says what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine is a fool. One who says what's mine is yours and what's yours is yours is righteous. One who says what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine is evil."
-Talmud, Avot 5:13

Arch mage144: Spleen doesn't bother with penis size contests; instead, he goes straight to penis number.</p>

by **ikozaedro** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 12:58 am

you can have my dollar....which is the canadian dollar i got earlier on this thread in a similar fashion.

i wish microsoft sold rare back to nintendo. <p><div style="text-align:center">

my deviant art thingy!
quote:
"Are you dense? are you a retard? i am the goddamned batman!"-Batman</div>
</p>

by **Besyanteo** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 1:11 am

They sell Rare back to Nintendo. However, Nintendo decides they would make more money faster if they went ahead and sold Rare to the company who made the NGage, in addition to setting up a royalty system where in the rare and unlikely event that the system suddenly comes into mainstream use, Nintendo gets all their money.

I wish to be poisoned. <p><hr /><div style="text-align:center">

</div></p>

by **KingOfDoma** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 12:04 pm

You are, but in insufficient amounts to kill you, and thus you are forced to continue on in this unbearable existance.

I wish I had satellite so I could watch Comedy Central and Cartoon Network. <p><hr />
<div style="text-align:center">

</div></p>

by **PriamNevhausten** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 12:57 pm

A satellite crashes into your domicile, breaking every bone in your body except your skull. The paramedics are able to save you, and the doctors can sustain your health, such as it is when you have no arms or legs and have to breathe with mechanical assistance.

How about that Comedy Central, though. What a riot!

I wish Japan spoke Norwegian. <p><span style="font-size:xx-small;">"It's in the air, in the headlines in the newspapers, in the blurry images on television. It is a secret you have yet to grasp, although the first syllable has been spoken in a dream you cannot quite recall." --Unknown Armies</span></p>

by **Choark** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 1:41 pm

The actual Island known to us as Japan grew a giant mouth and spoke Norwegian. Unforantly it has a terrible lisp and no one is too sure what the hell its actually saying. Something about whales? Perhaps mentioning the fact it has a huge zit? No one knows.

<span style="color:blue;">I wish for such a content life that I have no need for wishes.</span> <p><div style="text-align:center"> </div>
<div style="text-align:center">

</div>
<div style="text-align:center"> </div></p>Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=choark>Choark</A] 

at: 12/1/06 13:42

by **PriamNevhausten** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 1:56 pm

Granted. Nothing changes.

I wish I had a jetpack. <p><span style="font-size:xx-small;">"It's in the air, in the headlines in the newspapers, in the blurry images on television. It is a secret you have yet to grasp, although the first syllable has been spoken in a dream you cannot quite recall." --Unknown Armies</span></p>

by **Spleen** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 4:42 pm

You get your jetpack, but everyone else in the world does, too, and compared to theirs, yours sucks ass and gets you laughed at. Your friends (especially us) stop talking to the tool with the stupid jetpack, and eventually you can't even show your face in public free of scorn.

I wish I was the Green Lantern, specifically the one from the newer Justice League cartoon. <p>-_-___-___-___-_-

"There are four types of men: one who says what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours - he is a neutral person. One who says what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine is a fool. One who says what's mine is yours and what's yours is yours is righteous. One who says what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine is evil."
-Talmud, Avot 5:13

Arch mage144: Spleen doesn't bother with penis size contests; instead, he goes straight to penis number.</p>

by **Ganonfro** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 5:06 pm

Surprise! You're a cartoon Green Lanturn! You'll never have sex because the show is PG! :D

I wish I had a totally sweet zombie killing lawn mower.

by **Choark** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 5:19 pm

It's yours in a world surprisenly zombie free!

<span style="color:blue;">I wish for nothing bad to happen to anyone else when they wish for something.</span> <p><div style="text-align:center"> </div>
<div style="text-align:center">

</div>
<div style="text-align:center"> </div></p>

by **PriamNevhausten** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 6:03 pm

Unfortunately, whenever someone wishes for something, bad things happen to YOU.

I wish Minute Rice only took a minute! <p><span style="font-size:xx-small;">"It's in the air, in the headlines in the newspapers, in the blurry images on television. It is a secret you have yet to grasp, although the first syllable has been spoken in a dream you cannot quite recall." --Unknown Armies</span></p>

by **Besyanteo** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:03 pm

Minute rice only takes a minute. Hoever, because Cho is suddenly captured, enslaved, and forced to work in a macaroni factory that suddenly goes bankrupt due to the new minute Minute Rice craze, he's thrown out into the cold, hard world penniless and without foods or a home. It sucks.

I wish for money to rain from the sky! <p><hr /><div style="text-align:center">

</div></p>

by **Ganonfro** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:34 pm

It all rains on Cho, breaking his bones and leaves him comatose. Then the other hobos take it all and walk around unwashed in tuxedos. They put on the ritz.

I wish Chirstmas were here already, so I could play FF3 DS. :(

by **ikozaedro** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:13 pm

due to bizarre time travel accidents, somehow, christmas is now celebrated TODAY! sadly said time travel caused FF3 DS to exist instead on the PSP, also cho is now his own grandfather :(

i wish for a golden dancing goblin figurine. <p><div style="text-align:center">

my deviant art thingy!
quote:
"Are you dense? are you a retard? i am the goddamned batman!"-Batman</div>
</p>

by **KingOfDoma** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:30 pm

The goblin in question is Nikumu, god of hate. As a result, the entire universe loathes you, and sets out to torture you for the rest of existence, while the figurine chuckles and dances all the while.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of Red Bull. <p><hr />
<div style="text-align:center">

</div></p>

by **Capntastic** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:36 pm

Your heart explodes.

I wish to be able to play perfect poker, perhaps through the knowledge of a $ecret $y$tem.

by **KingOfDoma** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:51 pm

Your system works! In fact, it works so well, you take your act to Vegas...

... where casino security catches on and you get backroomed.

... but the system works! So you go to Atlantic City, and make a ton of dough!

... and you get backroomed again!

... the system, though, man. It WORKS. So, you go to Monte Carlo.

... where this backrooming causes an aneurysm, and you die. Oh, and the feds caught on, so your loved ones are left with no money.

I wish Shaun's wish would come true. <p><hr />
<div style="text-align:center">

</div></p>

by **PriamNevhausten** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 11:52 am

Shaun's wish comes true. Unfortunately, Shaun does not have any wishes. The universe divides by zero, existence implodes upon itself with infinite force.

I wish I had some beverages here. <p><span style="font-size:xx-small;">"It's in the air, in the headlines in the newspapers, in the blurry images on television. It is a secret you have yet to grasp, although the first syllable has been spoken in a dream you cannot quite recall." --Unknown Armies</span></p>

by **Besyanteo** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 2:47 pm

You gain a beverage! Unfortuantely, it is in reality millions of tiny crabs floaitng in a glass of water. You soon have a mouth full of crabs, and scream in horror as they devour your innards. People in the market look at you funny.

I wish to successfully defenstrate the Genie. <p><hr /><div style="text-align:center">

</div></p>

by **Spleen** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 5:29 pm

You did, but then you suddenly realized you were tied to him, and when he fell out the window, not only did you get yanked out too, but you also got dragged across the floor and then banged up against the windowsill in the process.

I wish this doesn't cause a temporal paradox

Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=capntastic>Capntastic</A] 

at: 12/2/06 18:32

by **Capntastic** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 5:43 pm

<strike>Spleen forfiets his wish in favor of being stupid.</strike>
Your wish does not cause a temporal paradox, at the cost of drastically altering the future of the thread.

I wish for a magical wallet that always has the money I desire in proper denominations.

Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=capntastic>Capntastic</A] 

at: 12/2/06 18:35

by **Spleen** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 6:25 pm

The money, it turns out, is getting teleported in from government installations. They eventually track the disappearing money to you and arrest.

Since I made a wish last time I have nothing to wish for.

Edited by: [url=http://p068.ezboard.com/brpgww60462.showUserPublicProfile?gid=capntastic>Capntastic</A] 

at: 12/2/06 18:32

by **Capntastic** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 6:34 pm

POOF.

I wish for someone besides Spleen to grant this wish.

by **Besyanteo** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 7:46 pm

I grant your wish, but you get nothing out of it. Sadness.

I wish for the ability to punch email spammers in the face over the internet, and only email spammers. <p><hr /><div style="text-align:center">

</div></p>

by **Ganonfro** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 9:11 pm

You punch your aunt Gertrude in the face for sending you a forwarded chain letter. You are disowned

I wish to be king of all creation.

by **Capntastic** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 9:22 pm

Behind the scenes, the chancellor of all creation runs the show and is plotting to usurp your position.

I wish to know the secrets of alchemy.

by **ikozaedro** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 9:41 pm

granted, now you know the secrets of alchemy, however, they wer far too much and too complex, therefore your brain had to eliminate some data to make room for it, soon you forget how to do even the most basic tasks, such as breathing.

i wish for more time to think of a wish. <p><div style="text-align:center">

my deviant art thingy!
quote:
"Are you dense? are you a retard? i am the goddamned batman!"-Batman</div>
</p>

by **Ganonfro** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 10:13 pm

You are granted more time... Sadly, the next opportunity to wish this wish will be in the year 3045.

I wish for popcorn. NOW.

by **Justice Augustus** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:27 am

You get popcorn, to balance this abudance of munchables all of Hungary starves to death.

I wish that I was a brilliant comedian.
<p>

"Moreover, when on the following night, much to his dismay, [Caesar] had a dream of raping his own mother, the soothsayers greatly encouraged him by their interpretations of it: namely, that he was destined to conquer the earth" - Suetonius, The Twelve Caesars - Julius Caesar, chapter 7</p>

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